Download the book by J. O'Connor. Practical guidance to achieve the desired results. NLP. A practical guide to achieving the results you want. D. O'Connor A practical guide to achieving the desired results

Intelligent people adapt to the world around them. Unreasonable people adapt the world to themselves. This is why progress is determined by the actions of unreasonable people.

George Bernard Shaw.

The historical event as presented by the chronicler has much in common with the speech of a seller of the latest miraculous remedies, a diplomat or a defender. Is not it?

The conversational traditions of people in cultures untouched by civilization, before the advent of orthography, contain both convenience and challenge: convenience in their orderliness and the immutable flow of events, and a challenge to the chronicler testifying to chaos, which, ultimately, must correspond to size and duration chronicles. But after some time, damned amnesia takes over the chronicler, and his story begins to sound completely confident.

Gregory Bateson warned us about the deadly triangle of technology, about the tendency of the human race to replace natural physical context (the forests of the Amazon) with artificial context (the streets of New York), and about conscious planning not balanced by subconscious processes. Tom Malloy (in his brilliant novella "The Curtain of Dawn") corrects Charles Darwin's slip that he spoke of "survival of the fittest" when he would have made less of a mistake if he had said "survival of the fittest."

The two authors, O'Connor and Seymour, intend to offer us a consistent story, devoid of wild adventures. The jungle through which Richard and I made our way in our explorations is bizarre and wonderful. These two wonderful and well-meaning people will show you something resembling an English rose garden, well-kept and decent. Both the jungle and the rose garden have their own unique appeal.

Like a talented composer, some people are more gifted in life than others. They do have a significant impact on others, but that's all, because there is no way to describe in technological terms what what are they doing, since most of this process is outside the scope of their awareness. Some day in the future, many, many years from now, when culture has been more fully explored, there will be some equivalent of musical notes that can be learned, separate for different types of men and women engaged in different activities and involved in different relationships, for every single time, place, work and play. Today we see people who are happy and who are pursued by luck, whose work is productive and rewarded now. What makes their lives different from those of their less fortunate contemporaries? We need to explore and apply this “toolkit” to make life a little less random and a little more enjoyable.

Edward Hall "Silent Language"

This book is an introduction and guide to the country known as Neurolinguistic programming, or NLP for short. NLP is the art and science of excellence, the result of the study of how outstanding people in various fields achieved their outstanding results. These communication skills can be mastered by anyone who wants to improve their personal and professional effectiveness.

This book describes the various models of excellence that NLP has built in communication, business, education and therapy. Our approach is practical, it produces results and makes an impact in a wide variety of human endeavors.

NLP continues to grow and generate new ideas. We writers find that, by contrast, books tend to be limited and static. Every book is a judgment true for the time in which it was written. This is a “photograph” of the item being described. And yet, there is no reason not to take a photograph today just because the person tomorrow will be different.

Think of this book as a bridge that allows you to explore new territory and continue the exciting journey of life. It represents the authors' understanding of NLP and does not claim to be the definitive or official version. This version will never appear - by the very nature of NLP. This is just an introduction, and we had a lot of choice as to what to include and what not to include. A semi-book is just one of many possible ways to organize this material.

NLP is a model of how individuals structure their unique life experiences. This is just one of many ways to understand and organize the fantastically complex and yet beautiful system of human thought and communication. We hope that our co-authorship has brought a certain depth to the book's description of NLP that would not have happened if the book had only one author. The depth effect occurs when a person focuses both eyes on an object. And the world becomes flat when he looks at it with one eye.

NLP represents a certain worldview and way of existing in this world, which cannot be presented in one book, but the concept of which can be obtained by reading between the lines. The pleasure of a beautiful piece of music comes from listening to the piece, not from reading the notes.

NLP is a practical thing. It is a set of models, skills and technologies for thinking and acting effectively in this world. The goal of NLP is to be helpful, expand your choices, and make life better. The most important questions about what you found in that book are: “Is it useful? It works?" Find what is useful and what works by experiencing it for yourself. It is even more important to discover where it is NOT works, and change it until it works. This is the spirit of NLP.

We were going to write a book that would be an overview of NLP. She would share our excitement when we learned that how do people think and about the changes that are possible. It would include a number of the most useful skills, patterns and techniques and present them in a form ready to be used as a toolkit for change in this changing world. After the first reading, it would still be useful as a reference tool. It would offer practical guidance on acquiring other NLP books with different interests and suggestions. And she would provide recommendations on choosing NLP training courses.

This goal was so daunting, simply because of the “apparent obviousness” of NLP, that neither of us was ready to vigorously tackle it. Pooling our resources gave us courage. How far we get towards our goal depends on how useful you find this book.

We would especially like to encourage you to explore further the field of NLP and to use these powerful ideas with honesty and respect for yourself and others to create new happy opportunities in your personal and professional life and in the lives of others.

We originally planned to include a chapter in the book with stories of how people discovered NLP and their personal experiences with NLP tools. But we soon decided that writing about someone else's experience would be more entertaining than directly impactful. On the contrary, in the spirit of NLP, we strongly encourage you to write about your experiences as an interested user of NLP.

This book is the most complete and authoritative reference book on Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It contains extensive theoretical material, exercises and suggestion techniques, using which you can learn to better see, hear and feel the world around you, improve yourself, and improve communication skills. NLP tools are successfully used in education, management, legal practice, sports and other fields of activity. For a wide range of readers.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

GRATITUDE
First, I want to thank John Grinder and Richard Bandler, who together formulated the main principles of NLP in the mid-70s. Based on the experience of outstanding psychologists and thinkers of their time, they created a completely new science. And this is the greatest work of their life. Since then, many have contributed to the development of NLP - David Gordon, Judith de Losier, Leslie Cameron Bandler, Steve and Connire Andreas, Robert Dilts, Ted James and others. I want to thank everyone who, individually or in a group, formulated the basic principles and developed the NLP exercises. Some of these people remain unknown, and this mistake needs to be corrected. If I do not mention anyone, please accept my sincere apologies.
Again, I want to thank Carol Tonkinson, my wonderful editor, for her great help and encouragement, and Elizabeth Hutchins for putting my ideas into wonderful words. My students opened my eyes to completely new aspects of NLP, and this greatly enriched the book. The best students are always the best teachers. Finally, as an aspiring musician, I would like to ■ thank Everclear, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and REM for their music that inspires me.
Joseph OContre October 2000
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to the pages of the book about NLP! This is the most complete and authoritative reference book on neuro-linguistic programming. Here you will find a lot of theoretical materials, exercises and suggestions. I call my book a "guide" because it is very practical. She will help you change yourself and change your world using the ideas and techniques described here. But this is not a tutorial, it will not require hard work on your part. NLP is a very easy, fun and exciting science.
NLP is your life experience, how you experience the world, how you decide what to do, how you create your own reality with all its ups and downs. I hope this book will teach you to better see, hear and feel the world around you, and to know yourself. If you already know something about NLP, my book will expand your knowledge. Here you will find new ideas and new exercises.
This book began as a guide for students in my seminar. I worked on it for a long time, changed something, added something, crossed out something. I hope my efforts were not in vain, and I managed to achieve utmost clarity and clarity.
This book is divided into several sections, each of which covers a specific topic in full. The final chapter will explain to you how
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INTRODUCTION
collect all the information received together, what techniques and exercises to use in a given situation. NLP is a magical, truly magical tool. While you admire its clarity and effectiveness, you must ask yourself, “How can I use all this?” And my book will help you answer this question. In the final chapter, I'll show you how to develop your own techniques so that you can independently complement and develop my ideas.
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK
NLP is a hologram. You can look at it from any angle and build a complete picture. Start reading my book from any place that interests you, and read only what you want. However, if you read it in order, I believe you will get a clearer and more understandable picture.
If you are an NLP trainer, in my book you will find many useful ideas that you can later use in your seminars. Many techniques can be adapted for independent development of communication skills.
At the end of each chapter you will find an “Action Plan” - that is, a list of practical exercises and suggestions that will help you consolidate the skills you have learned and turn your ideas into reality. Knowledge remains just a theory until you put it into practice and achieve some specific result using it. I offer you exercises that can be useful in everyday life. Their implementation is not regulated; you are not required to complete everything in order to move on to the next
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INTRODUCTION
next chapter. I would be a fool if I expected all my readers to complete all the suggested exercises. These are just recommendations. Choose those that you like and find useful.
You can use my book more creatively, such as the Chinese “Book of Changes” (“I Ching”). When you have a problem and need some advice, open my guide to any page and read it. How can this be used? Any position of NLP can be used to solve any problem, since both the problem and the meaning of what you read were formed in the same place - in your brain.
And one more piece of advice. Be curious. My book opens up endless possibilities for experimentation. Some days in our lives go well. We don't make mistakes, the world smiles on us. Other days are simply terrible. It seems to us that the whole world has turned against us and not a single action of ours turns out to be correct. Even if we try to fall, the floor manages to bounce back. How does this happen? NLP will tell you how, and even a little why. And then you will be able to build the days of your life yourself, choosing the right mood, being less burdened with the burden of previous restrictions and prejudices.
CHAPTER 1
WHAT IS NLP?
Start over. What is NLP? This is a tricky question. You won't be able to give a specific definition. There are many definitions of NLP, and each of them sheds light on some aspect of this amazing science. But light falling at a certain angle creates even more shadows and penumbra.
NLP studies talents and abilities - exactly what outstanding individuals and organizations have used to achieve amazing results. These techniques can be learned by others so that they can achieve just as much. This process is called modeling.
In accordance with the NLP model, it studies how we structure our own subjective experience - what we think about our values ​​and beliefs, how we form our emotional states and construct our inner world based on our own experience, in what ways we move towards understanding it. No event has meaning on its own. The person himself gives it meaning. Different people can evaluate the same event in completely different ways. NLP studies our experience from the inside.
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NLP began as a consideration of the best communicators and gradually evolved into the systematic study of human communication. This science has been enriched with practical means and methods based on modeling the life experiences of outstanding people. Today, NLP tools are used in sports, business, management training, trade, legal practice and education. However, NLP is more than just a set of exercises. It is a way of thinking, a state of mind, based on curiosity, exploration and joy.
The term “Neurolinguistic Programming” (NLP) comes from the names of three sciences combined together:
Neuroscience is the study of the mind and how humans think. Linguistics - studies how a person uses language and what effect language has on his personality.
Programming is how we structure our actions to achieve the desired goal.
Below I provide several definitions of NLP. Put them together and you will get a clear understanding of this science.
F NLP is the study of the structure of subjective experience. F NLP is an accelerated learning strategy that allows us to identify and use the parameters of our own picture of the world around us (John Grinder). F NLP is an epistemology that allows us to return what we have lost - the state of grace (John Grinder). NLP is a theory that works (Robert Dilts).
NLP is a special attitude to the world and a methodology with a clearly developed system of techniques (Richard Bandler). F NLP is the influence of language on our mind and subsequent behavior.
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WHAT IS NLP?
F NLP is a systematic study of human communication
(Alex von Uhde). F NLP is a method that allows you to model excellence so that it can be repeated.
And now I’ll tell you two stories that will help you formulate your own definition of NLP, the most understandable for you personally.
The boy asks his mother: “What is NLP?”
The mother replies: “I will tell you, but first you must do something to understand me better. Do you see your grandfather sitting in the chair over there?”
“Yes,” says the boy.
“Go and ask him how his arthritis is today.”
The boy goes to his grandfather.
“Grandpa,” he asks, “how is your arthritis today?”
“It doesn’t matter, grandson,” the old man replies. - I always feel worse in wet weather. Today I can hardly move my fingers.” The old face is distorted by a grimace of pain.
The boy returns to his mother. “He said he was feeling worse,” he says. - I think he's in a lot of pain. Now will you tell me what NLP is?”
“Just a minute,” the mother replies. “Go back and ask your grandfather about the funniest thing you did as a child.”
The boy goes to his grandfather again. “Grandfather,” he asks, “what is the funniest thing I did when I was little?”
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The old man's face brightens. “Oh,” he smiles. -You were a big spoiler. I remember how you and your friend played Santa Claus and covered the entire room with talcum powder from the bathroom, assuring everyone that it was snow. I laughed, but I had to clean up.” The old man looks into space with a bright smile on his face.
“And one day I took you for a walk. It was a wonderful day; you loudly sang the song you just learned. Very loud. A gloomy man walked past us and looked at you sternly. It seemed to him that you were singing very loudly. He told me to calm you down. You turned and told him, “If you don’t like the way I sing, you can leave and stick your head under your pillow.” And after that he sang even louder...”
The old man smiled even wider.
The boy returned to his mother. “Did you hear what grandpa said?” - he asked.
“Yes,” the mother nodded. - You changed his well-being with a few words. This is NLP."
The sage riding a camel arrived at a desert village at sunset, when the sun had almost set. He got off the camel and asked a villager for a sip of water.
“Please,” said the peasant and handed the sage a cup of water.
The sage drank a full cup. “Thank you,” he said. “Is there anything I can do to help you before I set off on my further journey?”
“You can,” answered the peasant. - There was a dispute in our family. I am the youngest of three brothers. Our father recently died. The Lord gave rest to his soul.
WHAT IS COENPP?
All his property consisted of a small herd of camels. There are seventeen of them, to be exact. In his will, my father wrote that half of the herd should go to my eldest brother, a third to the middle brother, and one ninth to me. But how can we divide seventeen camels? We don’t want to slaughter animals, because they are much more valuable alive.”
“Take me to your house,” the sage ordered.
Entering the house, he saw two brothers and a widow sitting around the fireplace and arguing desperately. The younger brother interrupted them and pointed to the guest.
“Don’t argue,” said the sage. - I think I can help you. I will give you my camel. And then you will have eighteen of them. Half of the camels will go to the elder brother. He will receive nine animals. A third goes to the middle brother, that is, six camels. And the younger brother will receive one ninth - that means two camels.”
“But the total is only seventeen,” the younger brother was surprised.
"Exactly. By a happy coincidence, the extra camel turns out to be the one I gave you. If you could return it to me, I would continue my journey."
So he did.
How is NLP similar to eighteen camels? It can be applied to any situation, as the sage did, and with its help it can quickly and easily solve the problem, and then it disappears as if it never existed.
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NLP BASICS
NLP is based on six basic principles. They are also called the basics of NLP.
1. You yourself - your emotional state and skill level.
You are the most important part of any NLP intervention. You make NLP a reality through your own actions. The same paint can be used to create a beautiful piece of art and a terrible daub. Likewise, NLP can be used for good or bad. Your success depends on the skill level and resources at your disposal. The more congruent you are, the more successful you will be. Congruence means the alignment of your goals, beliefs and values ​​with your words and actions, that is, it occurs when you “voice your actions and carry out your words.”
2. Assumptions are the basis of NLP.
NLP assumptions are guidelines, ideas and beliefs that are predetermined, that is, taken for granted and guide action.
3. Mutual understanding is the quality of relationships. Mutual understanding is the quality of a relationship, manifested through mutual trust and responsiveness. Mutual understanding can only be achieved through trust and respect for the way of thinking of the other person. By tuning into his wavelength, you seem to speak his language. Mutual understanding is the basis of effective communication. If you are ready for mutual understanding, those around you will feel it and immediately become more responsive. Mutual understanding can be built at various levels, but it must be based on respect and attention to other people. Mutual understanding is built gradually and over time develops into trust.
4. Results - knowing what you want. The main skill of NLP is having a clear understanding of what you want and the ability to find out from those around you what they want. NLP is based on constant reflection on results
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WHAT IS NLP?
any situation so that a person always has the opportunity to act most effectively. The result is what you want; A task is what you do to achieve a desired goal.
Effective thinking consists of three main elements: knowledge of the present - where you are now; knowledge of what you want - where you want to be; planning your own strategy - a clear idea of ​​how to get from the starting point to the final point, using your existing resources or creating new ones.
5. Feedback. How do you know if you have achieved what you wanted?
Once you understand what you want, you must pay attention to your own actions in order to know what to do next. . What should you pay attention to? Is your feedback credible and accurate? Much of feedback means paying attention to your own feelings—how you look, listen, and feel what's happening to you. Your feelings are the only way to receive adequate and reliable feedback. Only they form the contours of your inner world. The information you receive from your senses allows you to understand whether you are getting closer to your goal.
6. Flexibility. If your actions do not bring results, you need to change the way you act.
By knowing what you want and being aware of your own actions, you can change your strategy to achieve the desired result. And the more actively you act, the higher your chances of success. The more choices you have—in terms of your emotional state, communication style, and perspective—the better your results will be. NLP encourages choices based on a clear vision of purpose, mutual understanding and awareness of what you are doing.
NLP ASSUMPTIONS
NLP is also based on -13 assumptions. They form the global philosophy of NLP, chapters
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scientific theses and values ​​of this science. These principles do not have to be true or universal for you. You don't have to believe that the tones are true. They are called "assumptions" because you simply assume they are true and act on your assumption. In a broad sense, these are ethical principles of life.
1. People react to their own experiences, not to reality itself.
We don't know what this reality is. The map of the world on which we act is drawn to us by our feelings, beliefs and life experiences. But this map can never be absolutely accurate, otherwise it would be the same for every person. We do not know the “territory” through which we are moving, so for us our map is this territory. Some cards are better, others are worse. We move through life like a ship on a dangerous and stormy sea. If our map shows us reefs and shoals, we are making good progress. If the map is incorrect, our lives are in danger. NPL is the ability to change cards in order to have greater freedom of action.
2. Having a choice is better than not having it.
Always try to structure your map so that you have as many choices as possible. Always try to increase the number of possible options. The more choices you have about how to act, the freer you are in your actions and the more influence you can have.
3. People always make the best choices.
A person always makes the best choice, guided by his own map of the world. The choice may be made in self-protection, it may seem strange or malicious, but it is the best way for a person to move forward. Give him the best choice and he will make it. Better yet, give the person a great map with tons of options.
4. People work perfectly.
No one makes mistakes or mistakes. We all implement our own behavioral strategies perfectly, but these strategies may be ineffective or incorrect.
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WHAT IS NLP?
built. Understand how you act and how people around you act, and then you can change your strategy, make it more effective and efficient.
5. All actions have a purpose.
Our actions are not accidental. We are always trying to achieve something, although we are not always aware of what exactly.
5. Every behavior is dictated by positive intention. All our actions have at least one goal - to achieve something that seems important to us and will benefit us. NLP separates the intention behind an action from the action itself. A person is not his behavior. When a person has the opportunity to choose a course of behavior based on a positive intention, he will definitely take advantage of it.
7. The unconscious mind balances consciousness; it does not contain evil.
The unconscious is everything that is not currently conscious. The unconscious contains all the resources that a person needs in order to live in harmony with himself and the world around him.
8. The meaning of communication lies not only in your intentions, but also in the response you receive.
The response may not be what you expected, but no communication is a failure because you still received the feedback. If you do not achieve the desired outcome, change your course of action. Take responsibility for the outcome of the communication.
9. We already have all the resources we need, or we can create them.
There are no people who do not have the necessary resources, there is only a hopeless state of mind.
10. Mind and body are a single system. They are different manifestations of the same personality.
The mind and body interact with each other and have a significant influence on each other. It is impossible to change one without affecting the other. By changing the way we think, we change our body. By influencing the body, we change our thoughts and feelings.
11. We process all information using our senses.

The science of NLP requires a serious approach, but this area of ​​knowledge is the most interesting direction in psychology. The proposed books will be useful to anyone interested in NLP methods.

NLP is a difficult science that requires a serious approach. And yet, neurolinguistic programming remains one of the most interesting areas in psychology. The books that we invite you to read will be useful to everyone who is interested in NLP methods and is committed to understanding themselves, others and life in general.

1. Bob Bodenhamer, Michael Hall "NLP Practitioner"

A well-systematized collection of the most interesting materials on neurolinguistic programming. The book contains general information about NLP, a description of the methods used, many examples and exercises for mastering the material. The book will be of interest to those who want to get an idea of ​​this science and to those who have already become interested in NLP and want to expand their knowledge. If you really want to understand the essence of NLP, you cannot do without reading this book.

2. Joseph O’Connor “NLP. A practical guide to achieving the desired results"

An informative and very useful reference book on NLP. From the manual you will gain theoretical knowledge and learn about the practice of its application. The author offers effective practical techniques for acquiring self-improvement and suggestion skills. You will gain knowledge that will allow you to better understand people and delve into the laws of communication. The information contained in D. O'Connor's practical guide can be applied in education, law, management, business, sports, etc.

3. R. Bandler, D. Grinder “From frogs to princes”

Recording of an introductory lecture on NLP, revised and adapted for reading. The materials of this three-day lecture, given by the authors in 1978, will help you get a general impression of the science of NLP, understand the basic mechanisms of influence and teach you how to gently and tactfully lead any person to the goal. NLP methods work even in cases where psychologists are powerless. The book is recommended to everyone who is interested in issues of communication between people: psychologists, sociologists, psychotherapists, etc.

4. Richard Bandler “Reframing. Personality orientation using speech strategies"

The work of one of the creators of neurolinguistic programming, Richard Bandler, is devoted to reframing, its models and methods of using them. Reframing serves as a tool for rethinking perceptions and behavior, allowing you to free yourself from destructive patterns. The frame surrounding the picture best reflects the essence of reframing - information about the content of the picture depends on which fragment is inside the frame. The method is to move the same picture into new frames. R. Bandler offers to get acquainted with techniques for accessing certain facets of a person’s personality to block unwanted images and bring others to the fore.

5. Manly Hall “77 Best NLP Techniques”

The book by specialist Michael Hall contains the most effective NLP techniques. The use of the proposed methods will help in personal development, communication skills, and unlocking your own potential. Knowledge of NLP techniques is applicable to activities in business, education, psychology, sociology, and management. The book is intended for a wide range of readers and will be useful to every person striving for self-development.

6. Sergey Gorin “NLP. Techniques in bulk"

A collection of fragments from NLP seminars conducted by the author from 1993 to 1995. Examples of successful interaction between a psychotherapist and patients allow non-specialists to understand the subject of study. The only condition is knowledge of basic NLP terms, without which understanding the text will be difficult. Many techniques from the arsenal of Valery Khmelevsky, one of the authorities in the Russian school of neurolinguistic programming, are described.

7. Gregory Bateson “Angels Are Afraid”

The world takes centuries to solve some problems - remember the problems of Aristotle and Descartes. But new problems turn out to be no simpler than old ones. "Angels Are Afraid" by Gregory Bason is an attempt to identify and characterize some newly emerging issues. The author analyzes the history of human development using his own concept. The originality of the doctrine lies in the description of reference points, passing through which the consciousness of all humanity and each individual changes. People reconsider their attitude towards the world, new knowledge is revealed to them, forcing them to see events in a new way.

The book will be of interest to anyone interested in psychology, philosophy and self-development.

8. Alder “NLP. Modern psychotechnologies"

You will be interested in effective techniques used by intelligence officers, politicians and top managers. You can master the art of communication and try to apply it. Few people are born communication virtuosos; you have the opportunity to learn the nuances of influencing your interlocutor and become an expert in psychological techniques. The author teaches the reader to inspire confidence, understand what is said and unsaid by the interlocutor, and manage events and people.

The book will be useful to anyone who wants to master communication skills and interact effectively with others.

9. Sid Jacobson “State of Solved Problems”

Sid Jacobson wants to help readers understand the basic ideas of NLP. According to the author, neurolinguistic programming is a free technique, so their use should not be limited to established principles. The reader is invited to determine the content of the methods himself and bring them closer to his own life. At the same time, the book contains answers to many questions, as well as a brief excursion into the history of NLP and a description of the most effective models and methods based on the general laws of thinking. Sid Jacobson's methods are quite applicable to all areas of life, so the book can be recommended to a wide range of readers.

10. Steve Andreas “Six Blind Elephants. Understanding yourself and each other"

Steve Andreas "remembers everything", maintains a "common NLP framework" and strives to unify the many applications of NLP with common models. The theme of the book is relationships, but the areas covered are so vast that it is not always easy to follow the author's progress. Steve Anders collected everything in his work: Self-concept, logical levels, reality strategy, schizophrenia, hypnosis, time frames, reframing, double-binds, meta-programs, submodalities, criteria, perceptual positions, “Pure Language”, congruence and nuances of the therapy process . If you are not afraid of difficulties, check out the methodological breakthrough in NLP.

“Damn, David Blaine! How did he do this?!” — I thought about a simple street scammer who showed me real street magic. Although this was not magic at all, but just a manipulation of my consciousness, as a result of which I was left without the 1,000 rubles I had earned an hour ago. Everything happened so quickly that I spent the whole day remembering and analyzing all his actions, which were based on the simplest NLP techniques. Of course, I knew about neurolinguistic programming of the brain, but only to fall for the bait myself. It’s even funny to remember this! Therefore, I would like to talk more about NLP and give some cool techniques that will allow, so to speak, to influence people in the situation we need.

What is NLP?

NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) is a popular area of ​​practical psychology that was founded in the 60s of the 20th century. The founders of NLP are linguistics professor John Grinder and student Richard Bandler from the University of California. For a long time they studied many of the works of famous psychotherapists, conducted various seminars and communicated with their patients. As a result, they managed to separate neurolinguistic programming from psychology and gelstatt therapy.

NLP – this is a complex of psychotechnics, as well as verbal and non-verbal techniques that can « bring in » into a person’s brain with certain information in order to change his thinking and behavior. Neurolinguistic programming is based on working with the human consciousness.

Now I’ll tell you what NLP is capable of. Believe me, very, very much!

NLP allows a person to completely control himself: his body, physical condition and health, his thoughts, emotions, feelings, fears and prejudices. A person is able to regulate his weight, blood pressure, body temperature, heartbeat, and general well-being. With the help of NLP techniques, you can induce a feeling of joy in yourself and easily get rid of any negative experiences.

NLP allows you to manipulate other people. Fall in love with yourself, fall out of love. To win over anyone, to come to an agreement with even the most intractable person. Get the answer you need. Successfully negotiate, gain sympathy from the boss, and so on.

NLP gives a new perspective on problems, allowing you not only to solve them in the easiest and fastest way, but also to derive maximum benefit from it.

NLP helps you achieve your goals in life faster, which is very important if you are developing yourself as an individual. And it doesn’t matter whether you want to get rich, buy real estate abroad, get married or lose weight. Any goal becomes closer and more accessible if you use NLP techniques.

I think you've already developed an interest in neuro-linguistic programming! And even if you don’t study psychology, you can still find a solution to apply it to your personal issue that has been tormenting you for so long or a problem that you would like to solve once and for all.

Where can NLP techniques be used?

NLP was originally used to treat various phobias and mental disorders. The results of treatment of patients were positive in a large percentage of cases. When it became clear that NLP techniques are very effective, they began to be used in a variety of areas.

Sales— almost all sales trainings have NLP techniques in their arsenal; when planning, when setting tasks, during psychological preparation for a visit and during the visit, knowledge of NLP can be extremely useful.

Negotiation— knowledge of NLP is essential for negotiating, for understanding the client and better adapting to him, for manipulation and counter-manipulation, for working with one’s condition, for identifying the client’s decision-making strategy.

Communication, psychotherapy, goal setting, modeling- these are the constituent parts of NLP, part of this knowledge deals with communications and their effectiveness (rapport, adjustment, maintenance, calibration)

Psychotherapeutic part is a large arsenal of therapeutic techniques (“Swing”, “Collapse of Anchors”, “Creating a Resource State”, “Rapid Treatment of Phobias”, “Technique for Treating Allergies”, “Six-Step Reframing”, “Contract of Parts”, “Re-imprinting” and more) many other)

In setting goals and working with them, we are helped by such sections of NLP as Well Formed Result (HFR), TOTE, SCORE (in psychological counseling, understanding the client’s goal and ways to achieve it), neurological levels, time line, mission.

Modeling- This is the basis of NLP. NLP grew out of modeling and all its knowledge emerged from modeling the behavioral strategies of brilliant people.

Public speaking- working with your condition. group calibration, controlled spontaneity, “Chamomile” technique, spatial anchoring, working with voice, using various predicates.

Acting— one of the basic presuppositions of NLP says: “mind and body are parts of one cybernetic system.” This means that when our thoughts change, our emotions change, and our body clearly reacts to these changes and, conversely, changes in body position and posture change our emotions. Many acting schools are based on this.

Education- modeling is one of the ways of learning. The use of successful strategies, beliefs, behavioral patterns, different approaches to achieving goals, systems thinking, different filters of perception, resource state increases the effectiveness of learning.

Sport— ideomotor, widely used in sports, adopted from NLP, working with the state, coaching-style training and much more.

Coaching— almost all NLP tools are used in coaching (adjustment, guidance, calibration, coaching position, goal setting, neurological levels, three-positional perception, anchoring, time lines, all therapeutic techniques.)

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Recruitment— knowledge of the candidate’s meta-program filters allows you to understand what type of activity he is more predisposed to, what motivates him better, how he will tolerate stress, whether he is a team player or a loner, how he makes decisions and what his values ​​are, and much more.

Interpersonal relationships- understanding basic presuppositions, they are also the beliefs of brilliant people, gives us the opportunity to better understand other people, to understand that we are all different and each of us needs a special approach, that a person is a system and that two people are even more so a system, knowing the systemic laws system interactions can be more easily understood.

Seduction— all seduction training trainers have completed NLP courses, all seduction techniques are based on NLP techniques. So why study the interpretation of the interpreted when you can turn to the original source.

Army- collection of information, interrogations, working with one’s condition, the “Drug of Choice” technique, used by special forces in many countries around the world.

Customs— information collection, calibration Yes/No, true/false, Ocular Access Signals

Intelligence service— information collection, recruitment patterns, calibration, working with your condition

Cinema- in many films, heroes use NLP techniques and skills or Ericksonian hypnosis, there are films that are directly dedicated to NLP, even if NLP is not called there ("Lie to Me", "The Manipulator", "Wild Orchid" and many others).

Self-development– formation of the necessary attitudes to achieve success in any area where you consider it necessary to “upgrade” yourself.

WATCH A VIDEO! NLP in 10 minutes.

I will say this, NLP is not an easy “science” and requires a very serious approach. Even mastering the most basic techniques. But this still does not prevent neurolinguistic programming from being one of the most exciting and interesting areas in psychology. Thanks to the Internet, today there are a large number of options for where you can get knowledge about NLP.

Firstly, these are various sites where a sufficiently large number of informative articles have already been written to begin to understand this topic. Secondly, various seminars, webinars, trainings and courses conducted by highly qualified specialists in this field. And thirdly, these are, of course, books, which are the most convenient and popular way to start learning NLP.

There are a very large number of books themselves. Your eyes may wander at first. There are both for beginners, where basic skills are considered, and for “advanced” ones, with consideration of the application of NLP in any already defined area. Of course, I have chosen for you some of the best, most interesting and popular books on NLP that I myself have read. There are even two in my personal library.

I recommend the books that will now be discussed not only to those who are interested in NLP itself and its methods, but also to those who have decided to begin their path of self-development and are determined to improve their personal characteristics, improve their understanding of themselves and the people around them in life in general. So, let's go.

Bob Bodenhamer, Michael Hall "NLP Practitioner"

This book is a must read first. It is a collection of the most interesting materials on NLP. From this NLP book you will learn general information about neurolinguistic programming with a description of the methods and methods used by this “science”. I would like to note the large number of examples and exercises that promote effective learning of the material. I recommend it if you don’t even know what NLP is.

Joseph O'Connor NLP. A practical guide to achieving the desired results"

The author offers effective practical techniques for acquiring self-improvement and suggestion skills. You will gain knowledge that will allow you to better understand people and delve into the laws of communication. The information contained in D. O'Connor's practical guide can be applied in education, law, management, business, sports, etc.

R. Bandler, D. Grinder “From frogs to princes”

Recording of an introductory lecture on NLP, revised and adapted for reading. The materials of this three-day lecture, given by the authors in 1978, will help you get a general impression of the science of NLP, understand the basic mechanisms of influence and teach you how to gently and tactfully lead any person to the goal. NLP methods work even in cases where psychologists are powerless. The book is recommended to everyone who is interested in issues of communication between people: psychologists, sociologists, psychotherapists, etc.

Manly Hall "77 Best NLP Techniques"

The book by specialist Michael Hall contains the most effective NLP techniques. The use of the proposed methods will help in personal development, communication skills, and unlocking your own potential. Knowledge of NLP techniques is applicable to activities in business, education, psychology, sociology, and management. The book is intended for a wide range of readers and will be useful to every person striving for self-development. I highly recommend this book! She's just a bomb!

Anvar Bakirov “How to manage yourself and others using NLP”

This is my reference book! Written in the spirit of innovation with a lot of anecdotes. Therefore, there is no need to read this book seriously. From this book you will learn how to inspire trust at first sight, manage your own and other people’s emotions, benefit even from defeats, easily unravel the most advanced conflict situations, and lay all these “daily victories” in the foundation of one big building called LIFE SUCCESS. This book is distinguished by the effective structure of the material and the ease of its comprehension.

Sergey Gorin “NLP. Techniques in bulk"

A collection of fragments from NLP seminars conducted by the author from 1993 to 1995. Examples of successful interaction between a psychotherapist and patients allow non-specialists to understand the subject of study. The only condition is knowledge of basic NLP terms, without which understanding the text will be difficult. Many techniques from the arsenal of Valery Khmelevsky, one of the authorities in the Russian school of neurolinguistic programming, are described.

Harry Alder "NLP: The Art of Getting What You Want"

A topic worthy of attention is how a dream “works”. Some call it castles in the air, others encourage you to dream as much as possible. One thing is clear - we love to do this. And the author of the book clearly shows the mechanism of how dreams work. We are all a product of dreams. The quality of your dreams determines the quality of your life.

See also:

7 NLP techniques for manipulation and more

Most of us do not even realize that on a daily basis their consciousness is controlled by other stronger personalities, who are subject to many NLP techniques for manipulating people. It is interesting that each method of such hypnotic control is effective in itself, and it is difficult to imagine the power that arises if you combine several techniques at the same time. By the way, you need to know them not necessarily in order to control others, but for the purpose of possibly countering many criminal hypnotists, government officials, scammers, etc.

NLP technique 1. JOINING
This is the first technique that any NLP specialist starts with. When a stranger approaches, the human brain signals danger and tries to intuitively defend itself. It is unrealistic to suggest something to a wary person. To establish contact, you need to start copying your interlocutor in some way. Ways of adjustment: postures, gestures, gait and breathing, voice, etc. The scammer who deceived my friend and I started by adjusting his gait on the street and followed us to the beat for several minutes.

NLP technique 2.RAPPORT

Following the adjustment comes the building of trusting relationships. This is rapport. If the adjustment is high-quality, then the NLP-er and another person create a certain system, a common space of trust. Do you remember the infallible phrase from Kipling’s “Mowgli”: “You and I are of the same blood: you and I!” It is this formula that works in rapport. In this state, the threshold of criticality towards a person decreases, sympathy and unconscious trust arise. “It seems like we’ll find headphones there,” I said to Kostya, pointing to the store sign. “Guys, I’m a seller in this store, I can sell you headphones. Which ones do you want? - said the scammer.

NLP technique 3.3 YES

After rapport has been established, you can begin to manipulate and first you need to send the person into a light trance. This is done through 3 questions to which the person must answer with a positive YES. This technique is based on the law of inertia, i.e. the movement of thought accelerates in a certain direction. After a series of questions from the scammer for the 4th time, he said: “Guys, you have a thousand rubles. Do I urgently need to change the money and give it to the person?” "Yes, sure!" - I said and took out a bill.”

NLP technique 4. BREAKING THE PATTERN

A pattern break is an unexpected phrase or non-standard action performed in an ordinary situation. Breaking the pattern is easy. You choose a pattern of behavior that you are going to change and act in the opposite or other unexpected way. As an example, I can give a very real life situation. On one date, I told the girl that we would eat cake together at my place, but without sex. For her, this was still a break in the pattern. I understood that she already wanted me. There was sex, of course. The scammer also broke the template about his work. I don’t remember it verbatim.

NLP techniques 5. SWITCHING ATTENTION

The essence of this technique is simple. You divert a person's attention to another topic with a question or to another object of attention. Our brain or our vision can focus on one thing. You can do whatever you want with the rest of the area. This technique is often used by illusionists, and scammers too! “Guys, be careful with your money, there are drug addicts on the corner over there, stay away from them,” he told us, pointing his finger at the men 50 meters away from us, while changing bills.

NLP technique 6. MANAGEMENT

When the basic NLP techniques have been worked out, you can do whatever you want with a person. This is called "leading". Leadership is impossible without trust. Guys, go warm up to the store and look at the headphones. In the meantime, I'll go give the money. And off we went! Entering the store, we quickly came out of our trance. They looked at each other, realizing what had happened, and immediately rushed out into the street. It disappeared, just like our newly earned money. I will remember this story all my life. And I know for sure that NLP techniques work quickly and effectively. How many such approaches are needed to do everything so masterfully? Probably a lot. That's why they are scammers.

NLP technique 7. REFRAMING

One of my favorite techniques. It is very simple and gives a very cool result. This is no longer about manipulation, but about attitude to life. I use it when I realize that a negative situation is beginning to “suck the energy out of me.” Reframing is a technique that allows you to change your point of view, and therefore the perception of an event or subject. When a bad situation happens, I say: “My world takes care of me.” And I understand that this is the best option that can happen at the moment in my life. I took this technique from Reality Transurfing by V. Zeland.

WATCH A VIDEO! NLP: psychology of wealth. Techniques for attracting money.

So you have become acquainted with 7 effective NLP techniques that can be used every day. It will be better if you use the techniques for yourself, to develop your effectiveness in life. Good luck to you!

O'Connor Joseph, McDermott Ian

NLP principles

Joseph O'Connor, Ian McDermott

NLP principles

Per. from English Brodsky A. B.

INTRODUCTION

We take great pleasure in using the opportunity to talk about the principles of NLP. NLP is a practice. The center of his interests lies in concrete experience - your experience, that is, what is, and not what could be. NLP teaches how to expand and enrich our understanding of the world.

What is NLP - neurolinguistic programming? The answer to this question lies in the meaning of the concepts included in its name. Neuro refers to the brain and mind and has to do with how we organize our thinking. "Linguistic" refers to language, how we use it and how it affects us. “Programming” is associated with the formation of sequences of repeated elements of behavior and with how we carry out purposeful actions. Thus, NLP explores the connections between our thoughts, speech and actions, that is, what connects us with other people, with the world around us and its spiritual dimensions.

This is a practical book and it talks about how NLP finds application in our daily lives. Although NLP is based on psychological theories and research, first and foremost it studies the practical activities of people. NLP will provide new insights and demonstrate its capabilities in working with higher level issues, including aspects of the human being such as beliefs, personality and spirituality. How nice to see a return to these roots of NLP after so many years of chasing superficial results! I hope that by drawing on the "surface structures" of this book, you will be able to discover a lot about the wealth that lies hidden in the depths of NLP.

Robert Dilts's and Richard Bandler's studies dealt with verbal and nonverbal communication. As a result, a number of techniques have appeared in NLP that can be used both in professional activities and for the purposes of personal development. They are used throughout the world in areas such as sports, business, commerce and education, and they provide the opportunity not only to connect and influence other people, but also to get in touch with your own psyche, uniting different parts of it with each other.

In this book you will find descriptions of these techniques, as well as much more. We have made an attempt to present to you the holistic process by which such techniques are created. We tried to present the material in such a way that you could not only learn the basic ideas of NLP, but that mastering them would best suit the characteristics of your personality. NLP is constructive psychology. It can also be called the psychology of achieving excellence. It helps us imagine a world in which everyone can achieve mastery in their chosen field of endeavor, and in which education is about helping everyone become a great person.

Our body and mind seem unchanging, but in fact they, like a river that is in constant movement and constant change, are always changing, although in some deeper and more general sense they, like the river, remain the same all the time the most. Thinking and physiology are closely related to each other: how and what we think affects our physiology, and our physical health and well-being are reflected in the nature of our thoughts. opportunities for your mind and body and thus opens the way for you to explore your own spirit.

The starting point of NLP is curiosity and wonder at the obvious and hidden abilities of people. It is a study of the structure of subjective experience. How do we do what we do? How do we think? How do we learn? How do we get angry and how do we become angry? And how do outstanding people in any field of human activity achieve their remarkable results? To answer these questions, NLP explores the way we think and feel, studying - or better yet, "modeling" - how people achieve excellence and professional excellence. After such research, the answers to all these questions may become available to all people. The goal of NLP is to help everyone achieve the highest level of excellence in what they do.

NLP emerged in the 1970s when Richard Bandler, a psychology student at the University of California, Santa Cruz, began working with John Grinder, then a professor of linguistics. Together they built a new model of human individuality. This model is based on the ideas of three outstanding scientists: Fritz Perls, an innovator in psychology and the creator of Gestalt therapy; Virginia Satir, a leader in the field of family psychotherapy; and Milton Erickson, a world-famous hypnotherapist, whose ideas gave rise to such a direction in psychotherapy as Ericksonian hypnosis. In addition, they attracted the ideas and discoveries of other scientists, especially the Englishman Gregory Bateson, theorist and author of numerous works on anthropology, cybernetics and communication theory. John Green's first models However, the spectator did not back down and continued to insist that the great tightrope walker make such a transition. This infuriated Zumbrati.

Are you really sure I can do this? -- he asked.

Are you absolutely sure?

OK then. Then get in the car.

The material in this book is organized around the underlying principles, or hypotheses and assumptions, that underlie NLP. They are called "assumptions" because you simply assume that they are true, that is, act as if they were true, and note the results that you get from doing so. In fact, these are ordinary working hypotheses that may or may not turn out to be true. NLP does not claim that all of them are necessarily true. The question here is not whether they are true, but whether they are useful*

We aimed to show you the very heart of NLP, its concepts, structure and practical applications. We have also included examples from our own experiences. Once in Aladdin's Cave, full of possibilities, we explored the main storerooms and treasures found there, as well as some of the imaginative corridors and passages. We hope you find treasures here for yourself.

And now: “Sim-sim, open up”...

Mind, body and spirit meet in the area of ​​belief and faith. What we believe has a profound impact on how you think and act. NLP views beliefs not in terms of “true-false”, but in terms of “useful-useless”. What are the consequences of your beliefs? What actions follow from them? We cannot know everything about the world around us, and so in many cases our beliefs are simply our best guess at a given time. We would like to make a special offer to you - we invite you to look at your own beliefs so that you can see how they serve you.

Sometimes what we believe is not what we do. This reminds us of a story. Many years ago, the Great Zumbrati walked on a tightrope over Niagara Falls. The weather was terrible, it was a windy day, and the tightrope walker, greeted by noisy greetings from enthusiastic well-wishers, was very happy when he reached the opposite shore unharmed. Some spectator, who was waiting for him with a hand wheelbarrow, turned to him.

It was simply amazing! -- he said. - You are a real master!

The Great Zumbrati thanked him and noted that the weather had made the transition much more difficult.

Nonsense,” said the man. “I bet you could get back pushing that car in front of you.”

“I don’t think so,” Zumbrati began to object. - The conditions are too difficult.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF WISDOM There are four basic principles, four pillars

NLP, and we will continually return to it and look at it from different perspectives throughout this book.

The first (and most important) principle is that there is a reciprocal relationship between people. Here we are talking primarily about the level of mutual trust and mutual responsibility that is called rapport*. This principle can be applied to both your relationships with yourself and with other people.