What is passion in psychology. Which is stronger: love or passion? Passionate woman manipulates energy
School of Yuri OkunevHello! I have the impression that the sexual revolution, which began back in the 60s and 70s of the last century, has forgotten to end. From the covers of fashion magazines, glamorous young ladies look at us with languid glances, in the late evenings on TV and in the cinema they play films of the 30+ category, even in advertising, no, no, and someone’s naked fifth point will slip, then a tanned pumped-up biceps.
As a result, young people, almost from the age of 12, begin to google about what passion is between a man and a woman. Well, well, Google and I heard you. Today it is about this very passion that we will talk about. Go!
In the dictionary, the concept of passion is defined as a strongly expressed feeling of enthusiasm and even as love with a predominance of the factor of attraction to the object of one's adoration. If you try to analyze it yourself, you can identify, perhaps, three key components:
- Emotional intensity.
- Sensual and even bodily background.
- The conjugation of sensations with imagination, which stimulates and warms them up.
Passion often occurs before falling in love or in parallel with it. We see a person we like and feel attracted to him, expressed in the desire to be near, touch, kiss, hug and, of course, be intimate with him.
This feeling arises spontaneously, instantly and absorbs the whole person. The rational factor, objective circumstances, reasonable arguments - all this recedes into the background at the moment of mental and bodily impulse.
The salient signs of the condition are:
- Decreased appetite and sleep.
- Nervousness, inability to focus on something other than the object of one's desires.
- At peak moments, external manifestations are identical to the state of sexual arousal, because. passion and intimacy are inextricably linked.
Many people find themselves unable to resist this bright exciting feeling and completely immerse themselves in new sensations, not thinking about the consequences. Others, by virtue of their psychological characteristics, beliefs and stereotypes, put consciousness in the foreground and are able to say “no” to internal impulses, if they can somehow destroy their usual way of life, harm them in some way.
Despite the fact that ardor is perceived by many as something not too good (they say, how bad it is to go on about your body and feelings), but it, like love, is able to inspire. It gives a powerful emotional upsurge, a sense of joy and strong motivation.
We want to live, create, do something incredible. For example, quite unexpectedly for ourselves, we begin to demonstrate the wonders of altruism. Well, we're looking for grandmothers to move across the road and kittens to feed. And, of course, we strive to be closer to the object of our admiration. Closer, closer and closer.
True, unlike love, the effect of “winging” does not last so long at all. Sensual intensity usually subsides as quickly as it appears. Especially if we get the satisfaction of our desires.
Well, or, on the contrary, not getting what we want, we gradually cool down and turn our attention to other representatives of the opposite sex. Of course, there are exceptions here too - people for whom the object of desire becomes a fixed idea. Such people are able to carry, cherish, grind out their impulses all their lives ...
Where does it come from?
There are different opinions about this.
- Marriages are made in heaven.
- All these are conditioned reflexes.
- Everything is decided by the subconscious.
Be that as it may, one thing is obvious - feelings are very difficult to control. And passion often flares up regardless of the arguments of reason.
The easiest way to explain passion is in terms of biology. After all, man is not so far gone from the representatives of the animal world.
The theory is this:
First, a person at an unconscious level analyzes the smell of another person. If he “proves” to him that this “individual” is healthy and ready for reproduction, then the first “+” is deposited in the brain in favor of the future object of adoration. Further, the brain, through the organs of perception, studies the bodily component - height, hair color, figure, skin, voice timbre. This stage of analysis is especially important for men who, as you know, love with their eyes.
Moreover, in order for a man to have sympathy, literally a couple of facial features / body features of a lady that catch his attention are enough. Disadvantages, if they are insignificant, are usually not taken into account.
But women instantly evaluate almost the entire image at once. And any trifle like dirty shoes or a piece of salami stuck in the beard of a potential gentleman can beat off the same desire from her. Therefore, I strongly recommend men to draw the appropriate conclusions.
Well, at the final stage of this “scanning”, a person, again, on an unconscious level, evaluates the behavior of another person, his speech, status, etc. If for each item or most of them the brain manages to put a “plus”, then the same “fire” is born.
It's hard to believe, but this whole unrealistically cool and complex process takes about 10-15 minutes at the most. Then another day or two will be required to consolidate the sensations. And voila - hello new cause of sleepless nights!
Love and/or passion?
Numerous books of people wise in life experience and knowledge in psychology claim that the passion of a man and a woman is a phenomenon that gradually fades, dries up and completely disappears after a year or two or three of living together.
It would be foolish to disagree with this, such a bright intensity of emotions is really very short-lived.
In addition, if there is nothing but passion in a relationship, in a couple of years you risk being in a stupid position, suddenly discovering that a person with whom you have absolutely nothing in common is nearby.
“If I knew where to fall, I would spread straws,” says folk wisdom. How can you save yourself from disappointment? As strange as it sounds, you need to slow down a little at the start.
The energy of passion is like a stream of water filling a pool. On the wall of the pool from the bottom up are the possible facets of love relationships. Sex is at the bottom, friendship is a little higher, common affairs and interests are even higher, joint creativity is even higher, etc.
The pool continues to fill up only until the tap is opened to drain the water - intimate relationships have not begun. Thus, how much your partner will open up in friendship, creativity or a joint business directly depends on how long you can maintain a platonic relationship.
In traditional societies, the institution of engagement provided the achievement of an acceptable level of relationships. Now lovers have to solve these questions on their own.
It depends only on you whether you have enough strength and endurance to overcome mother nature's command for immediate reproduction and find in a partner something more than a source of bodily pleasure.
If you plunge into a whirlpool of passions after you see a friend, comrade-in-arms, soul mate in your potential half, then when the ability to look at things soberly returns, the attraction will not run out and turn into its opposite, but will merge into the palette of developed and harmonious relationships, taking into her own unique place.
As in all articles about the relationship between M and F, I recommend reading Why do representatives of different sexes think, feel, act differently? How to understand and accept each other? Read and find out.
Yuri Okunev was with you. Mutual and passionate love! See you soon!
Passion is a personal experience that we are not able to prevent and which we cannot fully overcome. Passion is both opposite and symmetrical to action.
Submits to the body, as the classics said, i.e. the part of yourself that doesn't think or thinks wrong. Thus, the extreme degree of passion is madness, and its benign form is inclination or inclination. However, most often the word "passion" refers not to the first and not to the second, but to something in between.
Passion is a state of mind, often expressed very clearly, but at the same time non-autonomous. Descartes could call passion the movement of the soul, arising under the influence of the body, the actions of which it feels (“The Passions of the Soul”, part I, § 27-29). Spinoza would probably say that this is an affect, the adequate cause of which the person himself is not ("", Part III, definition 3; see also "definition of affects"; cf.: Latin text of "Descartes' Principles of Philosophy"). Hence - the passivity of passion, which is not inaction (which is refuted by experience), but an imposed action.
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Passion is what is stronger in me than me. Free, voluntary passion ceases to be passion - everyone who has ever experienced passion will agree with this. We do not decide by will that we will fall in love to the point of madness, that we will suddenly stop loving, that we will become a miser or an ambitious person, etc. That's why justice considers passion a mitigating circumstance and philosophers look down on it. The crime of passion deserves neither severe punishment nor respect.
One often hears that the classics condemned passions, while the romantics, on the contrary, admired them. This approach seems to be a clear simplification. Descartes, for example, believed that "all passions are by nature good, and we should only avoid their misuse or excessive enthusiasm for them"; moreover, “all good and evil in this life depends only on the passions”, and people who are most subject to passions are able to experience all their sweetness (“Treatise on the Passions”, part III, § 211 and § 212; a more subtle consideration of the problem is contained in § 147 and § 148). However, passions must be properly controlled, kept in check as necessary, and used as far as possible. By these signs we recognize the person of action. Hegel’s words are widely known that “nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion” (“ Philosophy of History", Introduction). This sounds very plausible. But in the same way, nothing great was accomplished without action, and Hegel himself hastens to give this clarification in the following lines: “Passion is not quite the right word for what I want to express here. Namely, I mean here in general the activity of people, determined by private interests, special goals, or, if you like, egoistic intentions, and moreover, in such a way that they invest in these goals all the energy of their will and their character, sacrificing other goals for them, or rather, they even sacrifice ... everything else for them” (ibid., introduction).
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There is passivity in passion, and it was in this sense that the classics understood it.. But passive passion ceases to be a full-fledged passion in the newest sense of the word; it's just a whim or an irresistible attraction. It seems obvious that passion cannot be reduced to a love interest, since the second is just one of the forms of the first.
In one of the lectures on passion, Alain reminded the students that there are three main types of passion: love, ambition and stinginess. And then casually commented: “20 years, 40 years, 60 years.” Of course, it was a joke, but one in which there is certainly some truth. Each passion has its age, or rather, each age has its own passion, which prevails over others. A 20-year-old miser is as rare as an ardent 60-year-old in love, and such cases should be considered severe. In any case, passions exist in the plural and not all of them are caused by love. At the same time, any passion implies love. What is ambition, if not a special kind of passionate to obsession love for power, which you do not yet possess? What is stinginess, if not the love of money that you have managed to accumulate? In the most general sense, passion is the polarization of desire on a single object (Tristan) or a single type of object (Don Juan) that one does not possess or whose possession one fears to lose. This is the triumph of Eros, more precisely, its extreme manifestations. A person obsessed with passion remains a prisoner of love for what he does not have (ambitious, greedy, don Juan), a prisoner of fear of losing what he already has (ruler clinging to power, miser, jealous).
23-10-2012, 13:21
Description
- this is an ardent devotion or ardent affection for a person of the opposite sex, a love feeling, a strong focus of the mind, emotions, feelings on a desired object or life goal; energetic, intense or excited impulse, gravitating towards physical attraction. This word has many meanings and connotations. Sexual passion is so connected with love that it is often called love. Erotic passion- these are burning coals under the heel of love.Passion can exist without love, love can exist without passion. In the first case, tenderness and feeling are absent, there is only an egoistic desire for pleasure and satisfaction. In the second case, there is no warmth and ardor that usually accompanies full-blooded love between the sexes. The elementary biological urges in men, which we combine with the term "passion", have the technical term "estrus" (the period of estrus in animals, spawning in fish). Man calls it sexual excitement, frenzy, even passion. Zoologists define oestrus as "a special period of female sexual desire." The same is true for males. For most animal species, estrus, which occurs at the time of ovulation, is the only time the female reacts to the male. The emotional storm culminating in orgasm is a phenomenon whose roots go deep into the mechanism of the organism; the endocrine glands and the entire autonomic nervous system are actively involved here.
In animals, estrus is a periodic condition and occurs due to hormones secreted by the ovaries and the corresponding endocrine glands. artificial estrus can be induced with an injection of a glandular extract, but this does not result in ovulation.
Our knowledge of the estrus phenomenon is very limited. One could say that the period of estrus (irresistible desire) in females depends on the release of the hormone "estrus" by the ovaries. But the functioning of this hormone is still inexplicable. Why does it stand out in some periods and not in others? What disrupts the normal rhythm of estrus at times? What is suppressing it? What external factors does it depend on?
Generally speaking, there is no estrus behavior among human beings. Passion can be aroused in a person almost at any time and by various influences. Or almost impossible to summon. And while in lower female mammals sexual desire is limited to periods of oestrus, in women it can be evoked in many ways at almost any time. With the help of many techniques and mental associations, the release of the hormone "estrus" can be activated.
sexual desire is a natural trait of normal adult men and women. It is as beautiful and innocent as the breath or the beating of the heart. In some cases, sexual activity does not wake up until the person actually begins sexual activity. Those who think sex is obscene are only deceiving themselves.
Observations show that passion can eliminate sexual perversions that took place before its appearance. Strong emotions often stop the corrupting intemperance in promiscuity. For the one who loves, there is only one beloved. For many, the cleansing power of the new feeling resolves all emotional issues. Those who seek to get rid of passion or reduce its manifestations are wrong. Weak sexual passion will lead to the cessation of any kind of living beings. Females prefer a passionate male to a passive and indifferent one. This can be attributed to most women who rarely prefer a partner who is not passionate enough. Passion, of course, is related to the biological usefulness, health and integrity of the body.
In bees, butterflies, and among other forms of life, when sexual desire arises only once in a lifetime, especially in young animals, the highest manifestation of the sexual instinct, completely unpracticed before that act of copulation, can be realized, it must be supposed, only when the copulation is practically forced.
If there were no sexual instinct, humanity could not reproduce, there would be no childbearing or child rearing. The existence of instinct serves a wise purpose. Although the sexual urge seems to become less and less urgent as we climb the evolutionary ladder of life, except in pathological cases; passion is never forced in a person, but it is always controlled. However, such an important biological need cannot be rejected, because this threatens with retribution. It is one thing to subject passion to reasonable control, and quite another to refuse it in all its manifestations.
Physiological differences between men and women suggest certain psychological differences between them. A man is in most cases more easily sexually aroused and strives for immediate satisfaction of his desire; a woman, as a rule, is not so easily aroused and less ready to immediately rush to satisfy her sexual desire. Every day, a man is excited for various reasons thousands of times, although this activity is not felt in his mind and manifests itself as a sexual desire only at the end of the working day, after returning home. Travel often causes sexual arousal in those unaccustomed to travel; however, travel can also have the opposite effect. Mental, emotional, physical and nutritional influences affect the sexual impulse, suppressing or exciting it.
The nature, level, and volume of daily life experiences increase or decrease sexual desire. Frequency of sexual desire, its intensity are the result of certain factors, such as: state of health, illness, separation, stress, and so on. Usually sexual desire is directly dependent on the general condition of the body. There is a marked temporary increase in sexual desire when husband and wife are separated for days or weeks. Although in society, at least civilized, men are generally more passionate than women, and much more easily excitable; it happens that a woman is just as passionate as the average man, and sometimes even surpasses him. But women are usually more able to suppress passion than men.
A woman's body can be aroused against her will. A selfish man who has a strong sex drive and is skilled in his physical ways can, because of his inability to appreciate the emotional and mental needs of his wife, make married life exceptionally miserable. Coitus should be sensual contact, not just a physical act.
A man has sexuality and must be her master if he does not want her to be the master. It is known that sexual tension can be increased by appropriate fantasy or tactile stimulation to such an extent that the irresistibility of sexual desire is felt as an uncompromising reality. With sufficient excitement-compulsion, it can really become irresistible, because, being involved in the storms of passion, it is difficult to overcome and control it. One who thus excites his sexual self and brings himself to a state of high tension that requires an outlet, often becomes a prisoner of his sexual passion, which seems to be out of control, and does not take into account that his own previous actions have given it all move.
Men are most often guilty of allowing passion to manifest itself without courtship; and even where, to an unprejudiced observer, a woman would be the main cause of unrest, sooner or later the blame nevertheless falls on a man. Perhaps the woman was innocently the dynamite that destroyed his self-control. Lovers and wives are often guilty of causing urgent desires in their lovers and husbands. refusing to satisfy them. They do this with a subtle, sophisticated erotic technique that allows women to achieve maximum pre-pleasure without losing control of the situation. There are women who practice pleasant erotic arousal - caresses and tenderness, but refuse to bring them to a natural climax. They are perverted, though they don't like to admit it.
Although, as many argue, sexual passion is the most irresistible, it is often restrained, it is hindered. Of all the passions, it is most difficult for her to give a free normal manifestation. And we know that at the moments of the highest sexual arousal, the power of a person's personal independence is almost completely lost. This moment of supreme satisfaction is comparable to intoxication. However, many men and women exaggerate the role of sexual pleasure in life and practice a true religion of pleasure. The desire for pleasure is the cornerstone of their sense of self-respect, and they seize the opportunity for any pleasure, no matter what the cost to their own and others' health. Such people tend to regard the deprivation of pleasure as a personal insult and demand the highest pleasures as if these were their sacred rights.
To justify unbridled sexual behavior that offends the common sense and social feelings of others, such pleasure seekers profess a belief in the superiority of instincts over other manifestations of human nature.
Belief in the irresistibility of sexual desire, which requires immediate satisfaction, is only a conscious camouflage for irresponsible and, therefore, immoral sexual activities.
A faint-hearted person, conscious of his inability to solve some life problems, is often inclined to consider himself a victim of passion. His (or her) sex life seems to consist of various casual relationships, or masturbation, or both. Purely sexual union often lacks a sense of love, it is an act of swift (as in rape) possession, which is often followed by disgust for a partner. Even possible sexual union with a partner who, with other types of communication - spiritual, psychological, intellectual - causes complete rejection. However, this does not prove the insurmountability of the feeling of passion, although it can be perceived as evidence of its non-specificity.
perverted passions often out of control. Perversion can arise for a number of reasons that are difficult to get to the bottom of. In such cases, lectures on a moral topic are depressingly ineffective, because, as G. Lessing noted, “vicious passions pervert the constitution of the mind as much as they undermine the constitution of the body ... Evil forces lead blindfolded victims to their altars.” In such cases, hygienic methods are necessary.
The idea that sexual desire creates a fatal drama out of every love affair, the participants of which are supposedly helpless puppets, balancing on the wire of irresistible passion, contradicts the real state of affairs. However, this idea can have a noticeable impact on inexperienced youth if they perceive it without critical evaluation. This fundamentally false idea is dangerously cultivated by men and women who seek to justify their irresponsible sexual behavior.
We are responsible for the manifestation of our passions, and we should think carefully about the consequences before giving free rein to passions. Man's responsibility does not end with the emergence of passion, on the contrary, it is at this moment that the need for responsibility is highest. Not the righteous one who has not been tempted, but the one who knows how to overcome this temptation.
The undesirable opportunity for a woman to become pregnant is a test of a man's responsibility in sexual relations. Only a selfish, pleasure-hungry partner will allow himself at the moment of a sexual embrace to ignore the consequences of sexual intercourse. In these relations, the responsibility of men is necessary, otherwise chaos is inevitable.
The man who controls his passions (but not the one who renounces them), restrains every impulse, curbs his energy and owns fleeting desire, prepares himself for that terrible explosion of his emotions and passions, thanks to which he hopes one day to break beyond beyond oneself, beyond that which is contingent and decaying, to the full manifestation of one's powers in true union with another.
No special effort is required to suppress natural passion; it should simply be controlled in the highest interests of the individual and society. The theological-dogmatic idea that the sexual instincts and desires are evil and should be removed from human life does great harm. An attempt to eliminate the flowering of passion will lead to a decrease in the standard of living, which will end in organized prostitution. Full satisfaction of the feeling of passion is achieved only in a full and genuine union of two. Efforts to drive out natural desires will only lead to their return in the form of excessive obsessions, actions, and even perverse tendencies.
Which of the women did not dream of a passionate relationship, "like in the movies." A hot and temperamental lover, passionate quarrels and reconciliations, the intensity of emotions - this is what many girls dream of. After all, this is how, in their opinion, real, strong feelings look. A calm and gentle relationship seems boring. But is passion really necessary in a relationship?
The disappearance of passion in a long relationship is especially frightening for many girls. Starting with passionate love, they gradually develop into deep affection. But such a natural process is perceived by many as cooling, as the fact that "love has cooled down." And in pursuit of passions, they rush into new and new relationships, depriving themselves of the happiness of living the whole gamut of emotions. Or they begin to provoke a partner into violent showdowns in order to relive the outbursts of emotions.
Is passion necessary in a relationship? Psychologist's opinion
Passionate relationships look attractive, especially in youth. When the intensity of passions for any reason, when every little thing causes an emotional swing and adrenaline in the blood. But it is impossible to live in exhausting tension all the time. Moreover, sooner or later, those flashes of passion that used to attract, more and more often become the occasion for tiresome scandals over time.
Is passion necessary in a relationship? video
For example, if at the beginning of a relationship, girls like the fact that their beloved is jealous of them, then constant reproaches and suspicions begin to tire. If at the “candy-bouquet” stage it is so sweet to quarrel “forever”, and then no less passionately put up, then after a while, violent showdowns become predictable.
Passion is a spicy seasoning, burning and spicy. But after all, you won’t eat only spicy food every day, and you won’t earn an ulcer for long. Strong relationships should be built not on passion, but on mutual respect, affection, tenderness, responsibility and love. And passion is only to set them off, as in a delicious dish, a pinch of spices emphasizes the main taste.
Sometimes passion can destroy a relationship. After all, this strong emotion blinds, pushes to recklessness, requires that the beloved or beloved belong undividedly and completely. In passion, your desires come to the fore, and not the good of your partner. Therefore, conflicts and quarrels arise.
When choosing a life partner, a girl wants to see next to her, first of all, a reliable, responsible person who will become a good father to her children and the support of the family. And then the passionate macho loses to a calm, reasonable, understanding and gentle guy. "Italian passions" with breaking dishes and loud scandals are good on the screen, but in life we need a reliable "safe haven" and the support of our partner. And it is unlikely that we strive to turn family life into eternal showdowns with breaks for sex.
The most unforgettable experiences we have are connected with love and physical attraction. In moments of love, we are filled with bright emotions, inspired and happy. The world is filled with colors when we love and love us.
Passion and love are incredibly different emotions, they are delightful and have a positive effect on us. There are situations when we cannot distinguish whether we love or just feel a strong attraction to a person. And some people generally confuse these two sensations. So what is passion?
What is it
In psychology, physical attraction is a strong attraction, which is accompanied by a desire to master the object of attraction.
Attraction can be experienced not only for people, but also for ideas, thoughts, objects and activities. At such moments, we turn off the mind and do not see reality - we are completely immersed in a sense of attraction, we are capable of crazy things that previously seemed impossible.
The feeling of attraction occurs very often in our lives, and a very small number of people can cope with such an emotional flow, but still many are able to take control of their emotions. What is this feeling and what are its varieties, we will describe further.
- Pursuing your hobby. At the time of doing what you love, you are not distracted by anything, but are completely immersed in the execution of your plan. You are on the verge of your physical and psychological capabilities.
- Craving for extreme desires. In extreme moments, people experience a strong release of adrenaline into the blood. At the same time, they take their breath away, limbs begin to go numb, people cannot take a breath. This is a heady state for those who do not like to live a boring life.
- Attraction to a person or a strong sexual attraction. At the moment of feeling attraction, the pupils of a person dilate and he is in an excited state. Very often, the feeling of attraction is mistaken for love.
This feeling does not last long, but at such a moment the body is at the limit of its capabilities, this is the peak of the most thrilling sensations. Basically, people cannot be restrained at the moment of attraction - how to determine whether you are experiencing passion or love, we will describe below.
- When a person sees a desired object, inexplicable emotions appear. These are feelings of excitement, anxiety and joy of meeting at the same time. At the time of the meeting, a person cannot convey his emotions, while his emotional state is positive.
- A person has different kinds of desires. I want to do something crazy and impossible, the power of desire makes people do what they previously thought was beyond their power.
- A constant desire to be near the object of your desire. Passion brings people together through tactile contact.
How to get attracted to your partner
During a long relationship, sometimes the feeling of attraction towards the “second half” leaves us. This feeling is replaced by a gentle and caring feeling of love.
It's time to wake up your memory. Remember how you were when you started a relationship with your partner. Remember absolutely all the details, "little by little" collecting it into a unique picture of your love.
What did you do for your loved one? You flirted and flirted, you were cheerful and happy, you gave gifts and wanted to surprise. You called anyway to hear the voice and say something nice, making your partner smile. You were ready to give flowers and wear them in your arms, you radiated beauty, you made a person happy.
Tell your partner what you love about them. Tell us what makes you happy when a person is present next to you. Tell us how you feel when your partner kisses or hugs you. Tell me what's going on inside you. Tell me how your heart stops when he touches you.
Invite your partner on a date, add brightness and new sensations to your relationship. Do something new, fly in a hot air balloon, get a dog or a cat without thinking. Do something crazy but together. Ask your partner what he would like to do, what are his most secret and wonderful dreams. Do it with him, no matter what it is. Give him happiness from the fulfillment of a dream. Support the madness, just do it, no matter what they think of you.
Get in love again, surprise and support your partner's ideas when they want something. Being simple and open is a very strong quality, but few people use it.
Be simple and love, give smiles to passers-by, pick flowers from flower beds and give them to your loved ones. Create lightness in your life, and it will manifest itself in everything. Author: Inna Rykberg