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Today, relationships outside the family, as a rule, do not terrify. Adultery does not threaten not only with “stoning”, but even with serious condemnation from acquaintances. Nevertheless, such a connection always raises many questions and often provokes serious problems. How to deal with them? What the Psychologist's Tips are based on, given later in the article, will help answer the questions asked.

What makes a man look for a mistress

It is so accepted in our society that a woman is most often formed on the initiative of a representative of the stronger sex. A woman can make it clear with a smile or a look that she is not averse to getting to know each other, but it is the man who will take the first steps in this direction.

But sometimes, when the acquaintance has taken place and everything has gone far enough, a woman suddenly finds out that she is having an affair with a married man. What to do, and most importantly - why did he start all this?

As psychologists explain, the fault of this is most often the established (or rather, not established) relationships in the family. If a man's wife is the boss, or simply, then she naturally suppresses her partner, and he, in order not to completely lose his manhood, begins to look for an outlet on the side.

But it also happens that the wife stops worrying, the man begins to treat her, rather, as a relative. Everything in the family suits him, but sex is clearly lacking. This is also a serious reason for adultery.

Why do some ladies want to date married men?

But what can push a woman or a young lady into such a connection, because, as it will become clear later, she basically does not have a future so expected by most ladies?

Relations with a married man (the advice of a psychologist about which we are considering) for some women turn out to be very tempting. Such a gentleman, as a rule, is gallant, knows how to look after him beautifully, does not skimp on compliments, gifts, and looks more reliable and respectable than bachelors of all ages.

And some ladies are driven by the desire to assert themselves. After all, at home they no longer feel welcome, as before, and relations with her husband are gradually slipping into the area of ​​\u200b\u200bthe endless solution of everyday problems. And here everything is like in youth!

But there is also a category of women who are specifically looking for relationships that have no future. Their childhood experiences are pushing them - either they grew up in an incomplete family, where the mother was busy with work and could not pay due attention to the state of mind of the child, or the father treated his daughter aloofly. In such cases, create a family.

Pros of being in a relationship with a married man

If you listen in response to the question: “Should I continue an affair with a married man?” - advice from a psychologist, it turns out that such a relationship can be very useful for some ladies.

• For young and very poor young ladies, these relationships often turn out to be a way to improve their well-being. True, the main thing here is not to sell too cheap and agree only to real help and expensive gifts.
• For convinced feminists, such a connection is an opportunity to maintain freedom and independence, while having a permanent sexual partner.
• In addition, a woman who has a married lover can simultaneously look for her future husband, without throwing herself at every more or less suitable one, since she is satisfied and calm.
• And for married ladies, such relationships can add thrills that are missing in family life and serve as confirmation of their undiminished female attractiveness.

As you can see, with a conscious and calm position in the mentioned relationship, both a man and a woman can find a lot of positive and beneficial for both parties.

And now for the cons

But, as you understand, most often a lady does not have a rosy relationship with a married man. The advice of a psychologist here is always the same - do not build illusions by entering into such a relationship. Remember:

Why are married people more willing to date married women?

There is one more nuance, without which it is difficult to understand what exactly the relationship with a married man consists of. The psychologist's advice given to women who are at an impasse with the mentioned connection contains one important aspect: it turns out that married people are most willing to commit adultery with married persons! And, as it turns out, the opportunity to indulge in your passion comes to the fore, practically without risking anything.

• A woman free from the bonds of marriage may suddenly not stand the tense expectation and start calling him or scribbling SMS messages at the most inopportune moment. And a lady burdened with a family, as a rule, has neither the opportunity nor the desire for this.
• An unmarried lover may eventually begin to demand that the relationship be legalized - leave the family and marry her. And for a married woman, they are just a way to get vivid emotions and a special "peppercorn" in her life.
• A family lady, even having become pregnant from her lover, will bring her work-up child to her husband. In a similar case with a lonely, and even a young lady, you won’t get any trouble!
• A married woman even needs to be presented much less often, otherwise how will she explain to her husband the appearance of more and more new jewelry!
• In addition, there is no even the most offensive variant of communication on the side - the possibility of catching a bad disease, because a family woman is not inclined to change partners often, and even more so to sleep with just anyone.

Why this connection to a married lady?

A man is looking for profit, and what the relationship of a married woman with a married woman is based on is simple - a woman asserts herself or compensates for what she receives less in the family.

Amorous and too emotional persons go to new ones. But most often this happens if the husband is not affectionate enough or is not able to satisfy his partner. And if a woman discovers that her husband is cheating on her, then a desire for revenge may throw her into the arms of her lover.

Think about whether you need this relationship?

From all of the above, we hope you understand that a married man, going in search of a mistress, least of all thinks about creating some kind of serious relationship and only dreams of new sharp feelings and sexual pleasure. That is why communication with a married man has no prospects and in the vast majority of cases is doomed to break. So maybe you should avoid it from the very beginning? Well, of course, this does not apply to those who are easy on such a connection, and those to whom it seems very convenient for some reason.

Yes, if a relationship with a married man is planned, what to do (support them or not) will be up to you to decide, but remember: too much is put on this altar. Such a relationship can only be short-lived and non-committal. Even if a miracle happens and the beloved divorces to marry you, one can only dream of peace: after all, now your spouse can just as well leave you as soon as he feels the boredom of everyday life - he already has experience!

Long relationship with a married man

1. Never criticize the spouse of your loved one. Even if he complains about her and talks about some misunderstandings in their life together, a man will react painfully to criticism from his mistress - after all, his wife has long become a part of him, and he constantly feels a connection with her.
2. Nobody needs to know about your relationship. After all, all this can reach the wife, and she, believe me, will be able to force her husband to stop what you value so much now.
3. Do not put pressure on your lover - men can not stand this. Instead, constantly tell him how important he is to you and how much you love him.

And last (but perhaps most important) - you will have to become a professional in everything related to sex. After all, it was his man who was looking for on the side. And if you do not amaze your partner with your ingenuity, he will eventually run away from you to the side.

How to end a relationship with a married man you love?

If you are tired of the uncertainty of relations with a married man and decide to break off relations with him - do not give in and do not bring the situation to a state where your nerves cannot stand it and a loud scandal will break out with breaking dishes and hysteria.

To begin with, imagine that you have achieved what you wanted - you married this man. Will you trust him? But answer this question honestly! Understand, having changed once, he will not stop before changing again. Now for you. And he will tell the new mistress the same thing that he “sang” to you, blaming not himself for everything!

Such a man is not capable of resolving conflict situations that arise over time in any family - he follows the easy path, changing partners. Do you need someone who will run away as soon as there is a problem? If not, then break up with him. Keep meetings to a minimum, and then stop answering his calls altogether. However, when he feels cold on your part, he will quickly disappear - after all, as you already know, he is not used to solving problems!

A few last words

We hope to answer the question "how to end a relationship with a married man", the psychologist's advice given above will help you. If you are waiting for real feelings, then it is important to understand how hopeless this relationship is and how humiliating the position of a mistress is. You deserve to be the object of true love, and not a toy in the hands of a man who is waiting only for pleasure. Do not waste time, look for your real half! Good luck!

There are always many questions, but no one will give the correct single answer, because the sphere of love relationships defies logic and it all depends on specific individuals, relationships and the situation as a whole. There are forbidden, destructive relationships that truly will not lead to anything good, but there are those in which a happy outcome is possible. Initially, the relationship between a married man and a woman is not promising, and according to statistics, only one percent of all cases where a man really does not love his wife and she does not love him, and in this case he leaves the family for his mistress, can continue according to statistics.

If, nevertheless, a woman got into a relationship with a married man, then psychologists always advise to be prepared for the fact that the connection can quickly break off at any moment and you must always be realistic.

It is difficult to understand the relationship of a woman with a married man who gives her consent to a second role in the life of her chosen one, but there are many such women. Often, girls who meet with married men want to know about the future of such relationships and how they can be extended.

Psychologists consider the following:

- in order for meetings with a married person to continue, it is necessary to build these relationships correctly;

- starting to meet with a married chosen one is both easy and difficult: for a man it doesn’t cost anything to sleep with a femin he likes, but it’s quite difficult for a woman to keep such a man near her for a long time;

- firstly, he does not owe anything to a new passion and often immediately says that he is married and it doesn’t cost him anything; it’s also easy to start a new romance with another woman if something doesn’t suit him in a new acquaintance;

- if a girl wants to have a relationship with a married man in the future, then she must keep their meetings secret;

- a man will respect femin if he understands that she also does not seek to advertise the relationship; this will allow him to trust the woman and prolong such a relationship.

How to build and maintain a relationship with a married man? You can not criticize or blame the wife of your lover, but you can only support your beloved during a conversation. It is not recommended to emphasize your leadership in relation to your wife. You should not talk about your beloved girlfriends, even if you are sure that everything will remain a secret. It would be better if a woman remains faithful and obedient to her chosen one, in this case, relations with a married man may continue in the future.

You can’t put pressure on your loved one, demand a divorce, call your wife, put your lover before the choice. Over time, a man will decide everything himself, if he cannot imagine his life without a new lover.

It is not recommended to impose yourself on a man and keep him near you at any cost. The correct line of conduct will be as restrained as possible. It is required to give the man time to get to know his new girlfriend better and to allow him to make his own decisions regarding his family. You can safely make it clear to your beloved that the current situation is not normal for a woman and she is waiting for a decision from him. It would be advisable to explain once to your chosen one and then translate it into the format of expecting a relationship. A real man will prove the seriousness of his intentions and take the first step himself. It is only necessary to give him time and take the position of an observer, for example, six months.

The most important thing is not to deprive a man of free choice and you should not think about how to convince him to leave his family. Let him make his own choice. When a woman gives her chosen one the opportunity to understand her desires and feelings, and she steps aside and waits patiently, this gives good results and there are more prospects for a relationship with a married man in the future.

Everything happens in life. And if your chosen one really did not have a first marriage, then the new woman does not purposefully destroy other people's relationships, but simply expects actions from her man, and there is nothing wrong with that.

If a woman has set a goal to achieve this particular man, then the most effective way is to fall in love with him not only with herself, but with everything that will be associated with her. Psychologists advise creating a safe haven at home, a cozy nest where the beloved will rest and relax from the annoying life and at home.

How to end a relationship with a married man you love

If a woman understands that her beloved will never leave the family, then there is no point in continuing such a relationship, and it would be better for everyone to stop them.

To make it easier to “leave” a man, psychologists recommend writing down all the negative qualities of your chosen one on a piece of paper and looking at them every time before the meeting itself, making sure of this even more with your own eyes. A woman needs to convince herself that she does not need indefinite meetings with a "married man", and it's time to put an end to their existence. Psychologists also recommend engaging in personal self-development and remembering to look around so as not to inadvertently miss your true love.

In order to finally break off relations with a married man, you must first of all tune in to stop these meetings. You should think about how much time has already been lost and how much is still to be lost if you continue to meet on the sly. Therefore, breaking off relations with a married person should be done in such a way that there is not the slightest possibility of resuming them, since not only time is lost, but also the forces of the soul, which are completely wasted.

To do this, you will need to resolutely put your lover on the decision to stop communicating with him and ask him to never disturb him again. It is very important to stop answering calls and not call yourself, and also try not to meet with your ex even by chance. If you still need to see each other, for example, at work, then you should change your phone number and at least temporarily go somewhere to change the situation.

When the lover realizes that the woman is determined, he will try to dissuade her from this step with all sorts of tricks and, as an option, will offer to arrange a romantic farewell. You can’t fall for this “bait”, because from the farewell night everything always starts all over again.

It is very important to remove all objects and gifts from your eyes that will remind you of your ex-lover, but you do not need to return them personally. It is important to understand that it is no longer possible to see him under any pretext, since such love is akin to a drug. So that there is no temptation to meet or write, it is necessary to fill all your time with something interesting and exciting, and then there will be no place for sad thoughts. Psychologists recommend going to places where a woman has not yet been, because new impressions will allow you to look at relationships with a married man in a different way and the woman will once again be convinced of the correctness of her decision. If you can’t leave, then you should completely load your life: with new acquaintances, work, sports clubs, anything, you just can’t allow yourself to be alone. Suffering will destroy the soul and will not allow you to deal with the arrangement of your own destiny.

I’ve been living with a married man for 24 years, I have my only child from him, a son. “I live” is loudly said, no holidays, no birthdays together, we see each other once a month, or even 2 months, and then for an hour or two. No walks with him, no adventures in restaurants .. And the son almost never sees his father, she raised her herself .. Our dad only financially supports him, there are no complaints about him. It does not allow me to work or go somewhere to rest (abroad). But he is very caring towards me and my son. He says that he loves me very much and is afraid of losing me. On my part, there were attempts to break off relations and start a new life, relationships .. But he prevented this in every way (he is an influential person with us) I found out about the fact that he was married late, when I was already pregnant ... and then, as usual, I thought about my son, that he needs a father, and I need a breadwinner, since I was only 20 years old then .. At first I loved, passions, muzzles, but every year everything faded to him, probably due to the fact that they rarely saw each other, I was tired of waiting for happy moments with him .. I can’t live without a feeling of love, I always have to love someone, take care of someone ... Therefore, I live for myself, I love whom I want and as much as I want .. I easily let everyone go))) looking for his only one .. And the father of my child for all these years presented himself as a wallet, now I have the same attitude towards him, the main thing is that there is money in the house, but the fact that he himself is gone doesn’t bother me anymore - I’m used to it for everything these years. Previously, I was offended, jealous of him, sobbed at night, extinguished the pain with tears and a cigarette.

And with me a similar story is 6 years long. I am a supporter of pure, righteous relationships, I always oppose any violence, including moral and emotional. He pursued me for a long time, courted me persistently, I fought back, but sympathy, which grew into a stronger love feeling, broke me. I stepped over my upbringing, followed my heart, my mind nervously smoked on the sidelines, watching what was happening. We discovered a lot in common, we began to spend a lot of time together, when we were together the world ceased to exist, we just wanted to hug and love throbbed in every cell. Everyone around noticed that when we are together, it’s like love vibes around us. But time passed, he did not develop our relationship, it was convenient for him to have both a wife and me - a mistress, although I immediately said that this was unacceptable, and I should be released, not hurt. And so these years turned into a constant confrontation and a roller coaster. He keeps me, and I constantly fight with him, with love. I cry at night, I just sit and yell into the void. At such moments, he comes and reassures me, convinces me that he will fix everything, but nothing changes. He gives hope, always says that he dreams of a family with me, of our children, I believe because I love, but nothing changes. At some moments, I seem to be on the verge, even suicidal thoughts arise. Although my life is quite prosperous, and I do not depend on him financially. But the feeling that I am locked in a psycho-emotional cage, and voluntarily. I can't start new ones, I've tried - a heart of stone for others. I can’t build a family, I understand that without love it’s hard labor for me. Maybe I'll live alone.

• Juliana. You need to understand that you are in a drug relationship. This is not love… Love brings joy, harmony, etc., but these are just neurotic relationships… Listen to psychologists.. Read books about such relationships.. You can burn to the ground and not recover like any drug addict… Love yourself.. Love life and be happy.

I have been dating a married man for 3 years. Divorced. When she started dating, she pursued the goal of simply unwinding and moving away from the divorce and death of her son. But fell in love. All my friends know about our relationship. He can just visit with his daughter. His wife knows me as an acquaintance. It gets really bad when he leaves. I know that it will come again, but at this moment it is unbearably painful. That's why I want to leave. All my friends dissuade me. He never promised anything. But he knows that I love him. I don't know what to do. Break up or leave things as they are. I feel very good with him, but it hurts a lot without him. I think that time will pass and I will survive this loss as well, than to suffer and suffer every time.

The duration of the relationship is half a year.
I'm 23, he recently turned 45 .. the difference is huge, I know my father is good for me. I know him for 2 years we met at work, he works in a bureau with a status higher than me. A married man who, as he says, has big problems in the family, his wife does not constantly like scandals and the son who went to first grade. We meet in secret sometimes late at night or we go for a walk outside the city so that no one sees him. At work, we see each other almost every day and act like ordinary colleagues. From the very beginning he told me he didn’t hide that he was married, I knew about it, but I wanted some kind of lightness at that time because I had parted with a young man with whom we already lived together, etc., in general, it was not an easy period in life, but here he is all beautiful well-groomed plus in love with me. I didn’t think anything at all, I just thought, let it run for me, well, now I’m sitting here, suffering every day in tears. At first he said that he would definitely leave his wife, but then he would first pay off all their common debts so that he alone would not have to pay. For a long time I did not dare to go to bed with him, in the end I gave up, of course it was all insanely beautiful and it was probably the best sex in my life. But, from that moment on, I feel that he began to treat me differently, became cold, does not write as often, does not wait near work to give me a lift home, as before, answers my SMS in two or three hours, and before that everything it was different. He says I don’t owe you anything, and you don’t owe me either, you are not my property and I am not yours, we are supposedly free people. I’ve been in some kind of depression for the last week, I feel bad, I feel terrible, I don’t know what to do and I’m afraid to lose him insanely, for me every breakup in my life was difficult, and then it came to a psychologist. Now I'm confused and don't know what to do.

• Hello Leila. At this point, you need to realize that you have fallen in love and are very dependent on this person. For six months, you have become very attached emotionally to your man. Love for you is a strong and all-consuming, emotionally colored feeling.
  The man has “cooled down” a little over these six months. His love: passion, sympathy directed at you is an unstable state of consciousness, as it subsides. And the words “I don’t owe you anything, and you also, you are not my property ..” give reason to believe that so far he has no plans for a joint future with you. Therefore, it makes no sense to be upset, but you should soberly assess the situation and try to focus on yourself, your beloved, try to distract yourself from your affection as much as possible (remember old friends, expand your circle of friends). When a man notices that your interest in him is fading, he will definitely respond. How exactly - depends on the feelings that he has for you.

Experience 10 years, no less periodical, has already been married and had children, including from a lover. Every time I parted with him, I changed my number and place of residence and work - I don’t know how I found it))) the very fate of the meeting throws up. And, I have become independent over the years, I just need love and somehow I don’t really need him to leave his wife now, so pleasant meetings sometimes so that life doesn’t seem insipid ... I ate so much with my unsuccessful marriage that not one man I don’t want to do anything except tea anymore)) I live for myself and my children, I’m going to my goals))) I tease my lover for the sake of excitement and the sharpness of relations so that I can decide - but this is a game, I no longer need a life together with either him or anyone - or else (and twisting novels is another matter)))).

August 10th will be 12 years. I met when I was 19 years old. First relationship experience. At 22, the doctors said it was necessary to give birth before 25 urgently, otherwise there would be no children. I had to end the relationship - the most painful decision and choice in my life. I decided to try to start a family with another man. Get a child. Morally, it's hard, I could not forget my married man. Despite the fact that I did not see him and did not contact him at all, loyalty and sacrifice are brought up in a mistress. So she lived in cohabitation for 6 years, so the spirit was not enough to sign with a new partner. Six years of Hell, you understand that you should sleep with your husband, you should be a good wife, and you yourself have the feeling that you are cheating on yourself, your love. Before the birth of the child, everything was ok, it was not noticed, the maternal instinct moved. She gave birth - she named after her married man, so that her son would have at least something from a loved one. She treated her husband well, tried. She left all her pain and worries with her. The husband did not have the same good attitude - he could drink and beat. I was often offended that I didn’t need him. To the question "why did he decide so?" I got it - you don’t get jealous of me, you don’t call me, I didn’t spend the night at home, but you don’t care! (He called and said that with the men in the garage, in the morning I came and asked how I spent my time, did you have a good rest?)) In short, my whole family life was like “I don’t understand what they want from me?” Secondly, no matter how you turn it, the role of a mistress forms a victim complex - they didn’t drink, don’t ask for anything, support in everything, and so on. And if in a relationship with a married man this is a necessity, then in family life it plays a detrimental role on the neck or tyrannize. My son was 4 years old, thank God they got divorced. Finally, he said * you are a good cook, an excellent friend and lover, but not a wife *))) Less than a couple of weeks after the divorce, my married man appeared. I don’t know what all this will lead to, but now I don’t want to change anything, it has become easier to wait - compared to six years, that these six months are nonsense. The desire to take care of someone, and the problem with the holidays has disappeared - my son fills this gap completely. In his family, by the way, a son was also born during this time - so now we often chat about raising children, share experiences. And finally, I am a happy woman in love who has both a beloved son and a beloved man. My defenders, now I'm between two "M" at least make a wish)))

What is psychological dependence in a relationship with a married man? This is when a woman gives the decision-making center into the hands of a man, when everything is done with an eye on the man. Her whole life revolves around him. She ceases to be independent, turns into a dependent repressed personality. In other words, he constantly feeds his inferiority complex.

• Psychological dependence on a married man is about me. I have been in love for almost 10 years. I understand that he will never leave his wife and has already tried to leave him a million times, but it doesn’t work out. I want my family. Help.

  • I think that the answer is already half an hour. I understand you very much! I know how painful, insulting it is: weekends, holidays, evenings, nights. The tension sometimes reaches the limit. The term itself in such a relationship is no less. I don't know how easy or hard you can find a loved one. For me, this is almost an exception. Everything is not right, even at once, visually. Therefore, I cannot push away the person I love. If you are more adapted to life and can survive the breakup, and then also find another loved one, then make up your mind. Time will pass, depression will pass and everything will be fine. Good luck to you, in any case!

    • Lord, how can I understand you. I have a period of much more than ten years (the best years of life). No children, no family. And there is apparently no willpower to end it all either. Sometimes hunting climb the walls.

None of the women is immune from the love of a man who has a family. It is best, of course, to stop immediately and not get involved in such a dubious relationship. But often women are fond of romance, and when it comes to understanding that this should have been avoided, it is already too late. Feelings completely captured the heart and you can’t just throw them out of there.

Until a woman fully realizes that her relationship with a married man will never develop, she will not be able to stop it and will continue to torment herself with various speculations.

And many women refuse to break up, because their love for a man is strong enough. Especially if he provides significant material support. There are women who themselves have families, but they are quite satisfied with this situation. They are not ready to risk their comfort and reliability. And truly unhappy are those women who wait with the hope that their beloved will leave the family in which he is so disrespected and come to them. You just have to wait until the wife gets better or until the children grow up.

To make it easier to get out of a relationship, you should think about the following facts:

- perhaps at first a woman will not have the intention to build a joint future with a married man, but no one guarantees that at one fine moment she will not understand how deep her feelings are;

- if a man hides his actions from his wife, then having gone to his mistress, most likely, he will do the same;

- at first, an affair with a married man will cause a thrill, but then a woman will simply get tired of having to hide her communication with him;

- if a man makes a woman his mistress, he simply expresses his disrespect, because she, in fact, becomes a lover and offends his wife with her behavior;

- a woman will not be able to express her dissatisfaction if a man suddenly rushes off abruptly about his business, she knows that he is married and, accordingly, he has obligations that he cannot ignore.

After thinking about all of the above, coping with relationship addiction will not be so difficult. A woman should show respect for herself. Only she will decide whether she wants a full-fledged relationship or is it better to be content with the remnants.

You need to be brave and delete phone numbers. Everything that can remind of a man should disappear. Let's say if there were places of joint forwarding, then they should be avoided. If there are mutual acquaintances, then for some time it is necessary to stop communicating with them. If possible, ask them not to remind you more about the past romance. The apartment needs to be rearranged, and the interior can be decorated with some new accessories.

And there is no need to suppress tears. The main thing is to allow yourself to cry, so that later, with your head held high, you open up towards a new life.