You have the impression that you are not good enough! Reasons for the appearance of long-term construction

All women dream of big and pure love. Everyone wants to have a real prince next to them - reliable, gallant, noble. Of course, a white horse can be replaced with a good car, and a palace can be replaced with an apartment in the center of the metropolis, but in fact even this is not the most important thing. The main thing is to love, respect, carry in your arms and - for starters - beautifully looked after. And it is precisely this weakness of ours - for admiring glances and passionate speeches - that the womanizers use, who collect their "victories" and, as a rule, disappear the very next morning after a night spent together.

These seducers are called pick-up artists (from the English "pickup" - "get to know, take off"), and their movement has existed for more than 15 years. Young people and men learn how to “hook” girls quickly and with the least financial investment, and then put their knowledge into practice and brag about each new name on the list of “trophies” in front of the same “hunters”. It would seem that one should be born with such a skill or, if unlucky, learn some secrets from experienced friends. However, everything is much more complicated: today, pickup artists do not share seduction techniques in the kitchen over a glass of beer - they attend special trainings and seminars, pass exams, and at the end even receive a document confirming that they are now pickup masters. Why do men of all ages need this (statistics say that representatives of the stronger sex, on average, from 18 to 40 years old, act as professional seducers), and whether such an attitude towards women makes them happy is an open question today. At least for us girls, in whose value system family and respect occupy the main positions. And it’s much more important not to understand the mental anguish of pick-up artists, but to understand how not to fall for their bait, so that one day you don’t wake up alone and feel abandoned after the very first sex.

They are original

Such a ladies' man is more likely to start a conversation with the unexpected: "This dress suits you so well, but I'm sure that without it you are even more beautiful."

Not a single pick-up artist will act according to a template when meeting, and templates for them are banal phrases in the spirit of: “Girl, can I meet you?” or “Can you tell me where the nofelet is?” (although the hero of the film of the same name, whose role was played by Alexander Pankratov-Cherny, can also be partly called a pick-up artist). Real professional seducers are much more inventive. Their task is to “hook” a girl from the first minute, to interest her, to sink into her soul, so to speak. Such a womanizer is more likely to start a conversation with the unexpected: “This dress suits you so well, but I’m sure that without it you are even more beautiful” or “You have been standing here for so long, probably waiting for me.” It may seem to you that the young man is extremely resourceful and original, but this is just a mask, and his phrases are memorized and have been tested more than once in practice.

They don't spend money

Or spend them at a minimum. For pick-up artists, this is generally the height of skill - to drag a girl into bed without ever opening a purse: without paying for a cocktail in a club, without buying a bouquet of flowers, without taking her to a restaurant. Therefore, if you see that a new gentleman, as if by chance, bypasses all issues related to financial investments, then you should think about his attitude towards you: most likely, he is either a miser or a pick-up artist. You don't need either.

"Kindred Souls"

Of course, you want to meet someone who will understand you perfectly and share their views on life. But remember all the relationships that you have ever had: does a man, tuned in to a serious and long relationship, begin to rush right off the bat and say that he was looking for you all his life, he dreamed about you at night and painted your portraits, without even knowing you. Most likely, an accomplished and adult person takes a closer look at a new lover, and does it carefully - so that it does not hurt in case of failure. Pikapers, on the other hand, deliberately stir up passion, repeating every now and then: “It seems to me that I have known you for ages, we are so similar.” Be vigilant with those who crawl into your soul without soap, trying too quickly to “grab” a place for themselves there.

Ham and rude

Know that if a boor turned to you, then let him know that you don’t see the point in further conversation.

For the most part, pick-up artists are courteous, polite and interesting men. At least that's how they want to appear. But there are those among them who like to try out new behaviors, because all women are different and each needs a different approach. Some seducers intentionally start a conversation with some kind of rudeness and look at your reaction - did it work or not? Someone really likes it, apparently, the adrenaline is not enough. Therefore, know: if a boor turned to you, then let him know that you don’t see the point in further conversation. Pick-up artists, as a rule, abruptly take off the “bad boy” mask, and real rude people remain what they were.

touch magic

What can we say - we girls sometimes enjoy the random touches of handsome men. And pickup artists know this very well. Such a seducer may, as if by chance, touch you with his hand and then hold it, enhancing the effect of tactile contact, or say: “What a velvety skin you have.” Needless to say, pick-up artists have a lot of similar tricks in their arsenal: they can easily pat you on the back or roughly grab your “fifth point” - whatever you like.

Personal development is a wonderful thing. Allows you to work on your problems, develop, improve your skills and achieve success. However, personality development also has its dark side. Just as it can bring many benefits, so it can be harmful. What to do in order not to fall into a vicious circle and not become a victim of the recent fashion for personal development?

Everything depends on us and our approach. To make the best use of what personality development brings, one must be aware of the pitfalls it brings.

What are they traps?

You have the impression that you are not good enough!

Personal development allows you to increase self-acceptance, self-confidence and achieve your goals. However, focusing on the constant development and acquisition of new skills, it is easy to fall into a vicious circle. After reading one book, you immediately look for the next one. After completing one class, you are already moving on to the next. However, you do not allow yourself to assimilate the acquired knowledge and implement it in life. You cannot use what you already know. You strive to continually improve yourself. It seems that you are still not good enough, and in order to start working, you still need to work on this or that, or take a few trainings.

Do you feel like you need to hone your skills?

Your process of "improving" yourself can be endless. It doesn't matter what kind of work you do on yourself and how many trainings you take. It will still seem to you that you still need to develop all the time. As long as you focus on what else needs to be corrected in yourself, you will stand still. None of us are perfect and never will be. You don't have to be good at everything. Art is the ability to use knowledge and skills in the moment.

You become a hostage of the calendar!

You start filling your calendar with tasks to complete. Carefully plan your daily duties and try to complete each task from the list. And then suddenly it turns out that if something interferes with the execution of the plan, you feel anger, disappointment and remorse. You won't even notice how you become a prisoner of your calendar.

Of course, a calendar or planner is a great thing. Allows you to save important things. The problem appears when we try to fill it with tasks to the maximum every day. You are trying to make the most of every minute. And you fall into the trap of tasks. Unfortunately, it is very easy to lose balance. Life is not only work, development and career, but also your health, relationships with loved ones and the need for sleep and rest. Without this, it will be difficult to feel truly happy and satisfied.

You find yourself in a vicious circle of reading educational books!

Development books give a lot of advice, thanks to which you can increase your self-confidence, as well as introduce “good” habits into your life. There is no ready recipe for how to live. In reading this kind of books, it is very important to perform physical exercises and practice the acquired knowledge. Only in this way can you change something in your life. In addition, you need a lot of desire and perseverance. And, of course, you also need to act. Without it, nowhere. And you don't have to read every book on the market. Yes, indeed, it is enough to read a few good books, and do all the exercises, if necessary, even several times. Most of the information contained in it is repeated in other books.

Development is very important. Thanks to him, we acquire new skills and experience, we strengthen our self-confidence and achieve the goal. But life itself gives us many opportunities for development and it is worth using them.

Magnus Ranstrop, director of the Center for the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence, called women an alternative weapon. According to him, with the help of women, it became possible to blend into the crowd of people and then attack with an element of surprise, which contributes to generating fear among innocent people. “When we were looking for new ways to get around the security precautions that our militants faced before, we found that our women could be our advantage,” M. Runstrop quotes the words of the commander responsible for training future suicide bombers.

The participation of women in terrorist activities ultimately leads to the destruction of the sacredness of the female body as a source of procreation, the emergence of young suicide bombers, whose whole life comes down to hatred, the denial of any humanistic values ​​and ideals.

How to protect yourself from involvement in extremist groups? Based on the analysis of existing recommendations, we offer the following memo to women:

1. Remember that extremism and terrorism are often covered by other goals. It is necessary to understand the true motives of the organization, which can very often be hidden.

2. Remember that the unexpected hospitality shown to you by your new acquaintances is not always a manifestation of sincere goodwill. “Did no one tell you that you are so smart!” "I've never met a more sensible girl in my life." All this is the so-called "love bombing".

3. Find out what group members think about former members of the organization. For extremists, all those who left them are enemies, traitors and traitors. All sects instill fear in their followers, doing everything possible to keep them away from critics of the organization and from its former members. Although some experienced recruiters may answer your question: “Yes, of course, some of my close friends left us.”

Also, as a preventive measure, you can use counter-propaganda, socio-psychological tools, channels of interaction between different faiths, constructing positive historical memory, the practice of positive interaction between peoples, trainings, social projects.

It is extremely important to understand that one sermon from the minbar is not enough, you need to work with the community, including on the Internet. We need constant monitoring, a kind of duty (search for girls on the request "I converted to Islam, I'm looking for sisters with whom to talk"). Lectures on traditional Islam should be held with the involvement of former members of extremist sects. The wording "protection against ..." should be avoided. Instead, move from the negative to the positive (prevention). In addition, it is necessary to ensure the implementation in the educational process of educational organizations of anti-terrorist works and popular science literature, which is designed to explain the threats caused by the spread of ideas of extremism and terrorism. It is necessary to revive the functioning of houses of culture, clubs, including sports ones, active promotion of a healthy lifestyle, sports and physical culture among the youth; ensure the preparation and placement of information of anti-extremist and anti-terrorist content, including videos, on social networks and blogs, on federal and regional information resources on the Internet, television and radio channels. It is also possible to create a permanent center for Muslim women, where specialists from various fields (psychologists, teachers, theologians, etc.) should work.

Ilmira Gafiyatullina, Kazan

Buying an apartment in a new building is always associated with risk. Even the work of the developer in accordance with 214-FZ is not a guarantee that the interest holder will receive an apartment on time. How to protect yourself when buying an apartment? How to understand what is really hidden behind the beautiful facade of advertising signs? We will understand in this article.

Reasons for the appearance of long-term construction

Slow construction rates, delays in putting the house into operation, stopping construction and the inability to complete the project are usually the result of financial difficulties for the developer. The irrational distribution of funds, difficulties with the authorities and contractors lead to the fact that the construction of the house is delayed for an indefinite period.

The fact that the developer has problems is evidenced by indirect signs, knowing about which you can avoid wasting money and time.

1. Low prices

Before investing in a new building you like, you need to compare prices with other objects in the building area. The low price, which differs by 20-30% from similar new buildings, should alert. It is important to objectively assess the risks. If there are other signs that indicate difficulties in the company, it is better to bypass the construction site.

2. Serious discounts

Seasonal discounts are a common sales strategy for a developer. As a rule, they are timed to coincide with the New Year holidays and the summer period, when sales are slowing down. Usually the discount is 5-10% of the current value of the apartment and is valid for 100% payment. Larger discounts during the season of active sales may indicate problems with the construction company.

3. Stopping work on site

Before concluding a contract, you need to visit the construction site and assess the pace of construction work. It is better to track them in dynamics for several months. The low speed of construction or the lack of workers at the facility is not in favor of the developer.

4. Frequent change of contractor
Periodic change of contractors may indicate the financial problems of the developer. Difficulties with payment for ongoing work lead to the departure of contractors from the facility.

5. Changes in the design declaration

Frequent postponement of the commissioning of an object, multiple extensions of building permits are a serious sign of a troubled developer. You can find this information by studying the project documentation.

6. Closedness of the company

The unwillingness of the company to make contact, problems with feedback, the general negative impression of communication with managers and management - a reason to be wary.

A conscientious company is always open to dialogue, answers all questions that arise, and provides the necessary documentation. You can collect preliminary information in social networks and groups of equity holders. Of course, its reliability is not guaranteed, but it is better to prepare to the maximum.

7. Presence of problem objects in the past

The good reputation of the developer is an important sign indicating successful work in the future. If the implementation of past objects occurred with serious delays, current projects have a similar risk.

Tip: To find out on what right the land plot belongs to the developer on which a new apartment building is being built -.

What to do if problems arose after the conclusion of the DDU?

• Wait
  If there is a place where you can live until the end of construction, a number of equity holders choose this path and wait for the issue to be resolved. History shows that most problematic new buildings are completed sooner or later.
• Terminate DDU
  If construction is delayed, the interest holder may, by law, terminate the DDU and demand a return of the money invested, including a penalty for the delay. In practice, the developer is trying in every possible way to avoid such a development of events, and even a court decision in favor of the equity holder does not guarantee a refund. They may simply not be on the accounts of the construction company.
• Sell
  The shareholder can sell his apartment by assignment to another person. Usually this can only be done at a significant discount.
  A correct risk assessment when buying a new building will help you avoid problematic objects and get your apartment on time. There is always a risk, but it can be minimized.