I cheated on my husband - what to do: is it worth keeping the family, confessing or not. What to do if I cheated on my husband advice I cheated and he found out

There are many jokes about infidelity: a husband comes home, finds a naked man in the closet or under the bed, he blatantly lies and introduces himself as anyone but his wife's lover. As a rule, in real life, the participants in a love triangle are not at all laughing. It is especially pitiful for the spouse in this situation: he feels humiliated and insulted, the cheating wife set her horns right in front of her nose. What to do in such a situation?

How not to break firewood to her husband after the betrayal of his wife in front of his eyes?

When husband caught his wife with her lover, he can only sympathize. In confusion, the spouse rushes from one extreme to another. In order not to do stupid things, pay attention to the following points:

1. Any normal man whosethe wife was caught cheating, she will want to physically deal with the participants in the sex scene. In some Eastern countries, stoning women to death as a punishment for adultery is still practiced. Sounds scary. When a husband catches his wife with a lover, self-control is the last thing that comes to his mind. In order not to become like a primitive feeling, you need to control yourself. If you use force against a lover, then this will be a criminal article. Be prudent.
2. If you can’t control yourself, it’s better to leave for a while. When you first found out that your wife is cheating, the decision to break up the relationship suggests itself. In order not to regret, give yourself a couple of days to think about the situation. Maybe you still decide to forgive your spouse?
3. When a wife slept on treason, it's unpleasant. But do not immediately rush to take revenge and look for a girlfriend for the evening. Don't repeat what your wife did. Be taller and more generous. By changing yourself, you will not be clear in front of your conscience.

When the storm subsided a little, the question arises: what to do after I caught my wife cheating? Here is a rough list of actions:

1. Talk frankly with your wife about what happened. Find out what influenced her reckless act. Maybe you offended her with something, and the wife decided to hurt you with treason right in front of her nose. This will not be an excuse, but at least an excuse to mitigate the punishment.
2. Better take your time. Let each of the spouses be alone with himself without hasty clarification of the relationship. Alone, decide how strong your feelings are for a wife who has been caught cheating. True love will help to forgive any offense.
3. Follow the further behavior of the spouse: does she repent of her deed? All people make mistakes and learn from their mistakes.
4. Have you mentally forgiven your spouse? Let her know that this behavior should not be repeated in the future. Threaten with divorce, teach her a lesson. Don't let your wife sit on your neck.
5. If you decide to file for divorce, try to leave peacefully. You don't have to hide evil. Suddenly, fate has prepared a gift for you after an unpleasant ordeal? Don't waste your life energy on negativity.

How to explain the situation to your husband if he caught with his lover?

Often on the Internet you can see the prayers of women: “I cheated on my husband, and he found out, help me, what to do?”. If everything is done with high quality, taking into account all the possible nuances, the husband has practically no chance of finding his wife with her lover. It is possible that the spouse is tired of the constant hassle about the created love triangle. And deliberately takes risks, meeting, for example, with a gentleman at home, knowing that her husband will come soon. By such behavior, she subconsciously wants her husband to know everything, and there would be no need to hide. Or another option: a woman wants to break up with her lawful husband and provoke him to decide on a divorce. “My husband found out about my betrayal and left me” - with a touch of pride, you can then tell your girlfriends if your husband categorically refused to divorce before.

The psychology of the question is very individual. I would like to note that if you decide to cheat on the territory where the husband can burn his wife, then you must clearly come up with options for retreat and justification for your act. But when a husband suddenly caught his wife cheating, you still have to answer, regardless of the reason for your adultery. Here are some tips on how to get started:

1. First of all, don't argue with your spouse. Let him express everything he thinks about you and your lover. Do not provoke him to assault with your counterattacks. It’s better to indicate that you don’t want to discuss the embarrassment that happened now due to extreme stress.
2. When the husband's steam comes out, drive the lover out of harm's way. Contemplating you and someone else's man together clearly will not set your spouse up for a constructive conversation.
3. If the nature of the spouse is explosive, and his reaction is unpredictable, it is better to slowly collect the necessary things and move in with your mother or girlfriend for a while. Time will cool down the husband who found out about the lover.

So, actions to smooth out the sharp peak of the conflict have been carried out. The next step is to decide whether you want to stay legally married or decide to break up with your spouse.

Option 1. Keeping the family

After such a misconduct, it is difficult to find mutual understanding with her husband. But who, if not you, should know the weaknesses of the spouse? If he is greedy for compliments - say them without stopping, flatter and praise every step. Does your husband love cars or fishing? Gift something suitable for his hobby and become an expert in this area. Naturally, talk about feelings for your spouse that you love him more than life, and an impudent lover is just a terrible mistake, a test of fate that you failed miserably.

You need to forget about the gentleman forever and rudely cut off contact with him, not giving hope for the continuation of the holiday. If at least one tiny thread remains that binds you, the husband may find out and never forgive. You need to earn trust again, and this is not easy to do.

Show your spouse that you are the best, despite the betrayal. Bring comfort to the house and cook constantly signature dishes. You won't find a good housewife in the daytime with fire.

Option 2. Divorce

It also happens that after a woman is caught with her lover, she finally decides to break off relations with her disgusted husband. With this arrangement, everything is simplified.

Don't make excuses. Just talk frankly with your husband: express the reasons for your betrayal. Maybe the husband did not pay attention to you, and the feelings passed. And so you weren't afraid to be caught off guard with another man. Try to speak respectfully, be grateful for the years you have lived together. Discuss the issues of raising children, if you managed to acquire them. It is better to resolve everything peacefully and calmly without mutual reproaches and insults.

So that situations when a husband catches his wife cheating do not happen, be attentive to each other. Respect and love are the main components of a harmonious and happy relationship.

3.67 /5 (9 )

Many of us are used to the fact that men cheat more than women, although anecdotal evidence shows that a wife can cheat on her spouse. Therefore, often on the Internet there are such topics: I cheated on my husband, he found out and did not forgive. What to do in such a situation? The advice of a psychologist will help solve the problem.

My husband has not forgiven me for cheating

Before you start to understand the situation and look for recommendations on what to do when the wife cheated on her spouse, it is worth considering whether it is necessary to take any steps? After all, no one is sinless, and constant pangs of conscience and self-flagellation are unlikely to lead to something good.

Reasons for female infidelity

If you look at the problem of female infidelity from a psychological point of view, then it is as natural as the betrayal of the strong half of humanity. Of course, such a step should not be justified, but in order to find the optimal solution to the issue, it is worth looking into the root cause of female infidelity.

So, the following factors can cause infidelity on the part of a lady:

• Lack of sufficient attention from the spouse. Of course, gradually the hot and captivating passion will subside, so falling in love and relationships become something ordinary and familiar. A man often does not notice changes in his wife's appearance, and this can offend her, pushing her to seek solace on the side;
• Intimate relationships in married life are also important, and if the latter are of a monotonous, even insipid color, women, like men, are looking for sensual pleasure on the side.

40% of women cheat for revenge

Often, very impulsive individuals commit adultery in order to simply take revenge on their spouse for the same trip to the left. Although, as psychologists note, one should not exclude the possibility that a woman simply fell in love with another man - fortunately or unfortunately, this also happens.

Psychology of men

Every man considers himself a polygamous person, and therefore multiple trips to the side for him is a common and familiar phenomenon. But they are used to keeping their wives in a fist, so they look at the betrayal of the second half from the other side.

What to do in this case? In such circumstances, even the advice of an experienced psychologist will not always help resolve the situation and give unambiguous, and most importantly, correct advice.

Watch the video. Five reasons for female infidelity.

It so happened that men are very vulnerable, it is hard for them to forgive even a small deceit, and even more so - treason. The wife may well turn the campaigns to the left of her faithful against him, starting to manipulate him using a sin.

But a man in this case is more likely to throw a grandiose scandal or simply lock himself inside his shell.

It is unlikely that it will be possible to return the relationship to its previous course, therefore it is worth thinking a hundred times before deciding to cheat.

From time immemorial, it has been customary that representatives of the strong half of humanity do not tolerate and do not forgive the betrayal of their partner, even if they themselves have several women at the same time - all of them should belong only to them and be faithful to them.

In this case, a man should think carefully, because the unsightly behavior of the chosen one can be provoked precisely by the attitude of the spouse, who shows inattention, and sometimes obvious neglect.

Do not rush to make a final and irrevocable decision, and most importantly - do not chop hot. At the beginning, put your thoughts in order and start thinking about how to save your own family, and not destroy the family hearth.

Heed the following tips:

• Do not delve into your past and the past of your husband, looking for the culprit, do not try to shift all the blame on your soulmate;
• If you have repented of what you have done, try to ask for forgiveness from your spouse. But do not overdramatize and do not wind up the situation;
• It is important to take into account the fact that a beloved man is experiencing stronger and more difficult emotions due to his wife's betrayal than the woman herself, and therefore it is worth being extremely careful and careful;
• Do not try to take a defensive position, especially do not try to deny the fact of your own betrayal. But it’s also not worth showing excessive courtesy or throwing demonstrative tantrums.

And finally: think carefully about how dear your spouse is to you, and whether it is worth fighting to save the family in the ways you love.

How to get rid of guilt

If betrayal has taken place, there is nothing to be done, and therefore it is important to stop feeling guilty about it. You were able to calmly build a dialogue with your spouse, admit your betrayal and promised - this was the last time. Great, what's next?

Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and sins, learn from them and remember that no one in the world is perfect and it is impossible to live a long life without making a mistake.

Always take care of yourself and do not go into depression - even greater beauty and perfection will make you more attractive and desirable. Make it a habit to visit the gym or swimming pool, beauty salon and hairdresser - if you set yourself the goal of returning your spouse, then you need to look like a queen.

Try to build a relationship with your spouse on the principles of mutual respect and harmony, trust and love. You should not let even the smallest lie into the family, and if a problem does arise, sit down at the negotiating table and discuss it. Talk about your own feelings for your husband more often, and soon he will simply forget about your mistake.

Husband does not forgive betrayal, what to do

But what is the best thing to do if a woman cheated on her husband and he found out about it, but at the same time she does not intend to lose him? This situation is especially relevant for many wives.

The most reasonable solution would be a calm conversation with her husband, but only after the passion and ardor have subsided somewhat.

It is worth considering how much you yourself value your husband and are ready to save the family, since you can break it up in a minute, and then it will be very difficult to collect the destroyed feelings. Yes, and a man needs to understand whether he is ready to forgive - give him time to think.

Talk

Many men are very categorical in the matter of relationships, and if the spouse lives with him, she should be only his, and no one else. It will be very difficult to regain the husband's trust, to restore the relationship that was before the betrayal, but this is quite real.

80% of women regret what they did

It is not easy for a woman to bear the role of a traitor - this is the understanding that the family hearth is broken, constant remorse and guilt. And this is not all the negative consequences of momentary weakness and carnal pleasures.

Analyze what prompted you to cheat - is it the lack of attention and care from your husband or your own frivolity? Whatever the reason, it is considered a betrayal, and here it is important to evaluate and understand how to behave further.

Calmly talk to your spouse about what happened, although you should be prepared for the fact that he will not immediately agree to such negotiations. Do not put pressure on him - a man needs time to rethink all this.

During a conversation with your spouse, you should not blame someone for what happened or make excuses. To receive forgiveness, it is important to accept, voice and understand your own guilt. It is important to be as honest as possible with yourself and your husband.

If there is no love in the family, maybe you should not try to save the marriage? But when betrayal was more like a momentary weakness, and you love your spouse, become an exemplary wife.

Actions

Every word spoken must be backed up by action, and if you say that your husband is the only man for you, then you should end the relationship with your lover. Subsequent betrayals are unacceptable if you intend to save your own family, strong relationships and mutual understanding.

Attention

Giving maximum attention to your own spouse is a great way to show how much you love him and how good you are with him.

Make small pleasant surprises for your husband, so the trust will return faster. Repeated proof by the wife of the fact that her husband is the one and only, will soon restore a cracked relationship.

Watch the video. Can cheating be forgiven?

the freedom of action

Men differently perceive the fact of female infidelity. If the spouse needs to retire - let him, if he wants to burn common photos - well, let them burn with a blue flame.

Someone expresses a desire to know everything - where and in what position you cheated, for how long and when, and if you can’t get away, it’s worth telling everything. The main thing is without sketches, emotions and complacency - only dry facts.

If the spouse needs to be alone and think about everything, pack your things and go to the country, to friends, parents, or just leave the house for a while without stopping the husband from thinking about the situation.

Patience

Do not force things and return to the previous position - what you are used to - morning sex or an evening kiss before going to bed, will fade into the background for a while.

And even if the husband said that he forgave you, an unpleasant aftertaste remained in the soul, and it takes time to digest it. Just understand that with the proper attention and approach, this sediment will be covered by brighter and more positive emotions.

And then you will definitely be surprised how often the absence of such trifles as morning coffee from a husband or a kind word can return to common sense and delicately remind you of what you could lose because of a moment of passion. But for now, we will have to endure and survive the Cold War period.

If the spouse is caught with a lover

If the betrayal happened in front of your spouse, and he simply found you in the marital bed with your lover, it will be very difficult to correct this situation.

Returning her husband will not be easy, rather, even impossible - after all, everything happened before his eyes, and this is incomparable with other people's words or one's own guesses.

Here you will have to retrain as a subtle and delicate psychologist, understand how to behave and smooth out sharp corners.

At the very beginning, it is important to prevent momentary bloodshed, since a jealous spouse in a fit of anger can kill both lovers. In this situation, you will have to call the police, otherwise the victims and blood cannot be avoided.

There are husbands who just leave after catching their spouse with their lover. In such a situation, a person should be given time to think and just to calm down, put his thoughts and emotions in order.

Only then can you decide what to do next. Do not try to look for your husband and ask him for forgiveness every minute, but talk to him a few days later, when negative emotions subside.

It is important to understand in this case that it is not easy to forgive a cheater, and therefore, if you started a conversation with your husband, it is important to make serious arguments. Otherwise, you will not be able to return it.

And if a man doesn’t want to hear from you and files for divorce, just put up with it. He could not forgive the betrayal, and it would not be possible to convince him, even with the most weighty arguments.

If you want to return to your husband, it is he who must take the first step towards meeting you, otherwise the married life will not work out. Scandals and quarrels, constant reproaches and reproaches, reminders of betrayal - that's what you get, and if your husband intends to leave, maybe you should not keep him?

Forum

There are many women's forums on the Internet dedicated to this topic.

Opinions of the fair sex on the issue of female infidelity vary:

• I have never understood and will not understand such ladies who cheat on their spouses right and left. Maybe they shouldn't get married at all? Then you can meet with whoever you want, and whenever you want - no clarification of relationships and betrayals;
• My husband did not forgive me - they got divorced, but I can’t say that I regret it. What should have happened, happened. Of course, she wanted to stay with her husband, even asked for forgiveness. But some can forgive, others can’t, and it all depends on the person himself, and it’s impossible to forget about betrayal;
• Why do women rush about these betrayals - if both do not love each other or only one spouse has feelings, then the family will still fall apart, regardless of betrayal. If the spouses love, but the situation has developed in such a way that a small sin has been led to the wife - there is nothing wrong with that, simple physiology worked here;
• One-time treason is stupidity and that's it. You should not think that having tried to go left once, a woman will slide down an inclined path, constantly sinning. If she was frivolous from her youth, she will do it all her life, and when a woman did not go for a walk further, then there is simply nothing to think about.

Watch the video. Cheated on her husband - what to do?

Consequences of female infidelity

Whatever the reasons lie in the decision of a woman to change, the consequences of such an act are sad. What does the woman herself experience after this?

First of all, a feeling of guilt will fall on her shoulders with an exorbitant burden - she will become a lawyer and judge for herself, bringing her inner “I” to a nervous breakdown. And here only a husband or an experienced psychologist can help her.

My name is Olesya (28 years old). We have been living with a man (Stanislav, 35 years old) for 6 years.
My housemate introduced us, he worked as a security guard at a construction site, and Stas was a builder there. Everything somehow happened spontaneously - I broke up with a man not so long ago and it was just boring. But everything started spinning.
Stas from Volgograd, was married at that time and had a son (now he is 11 years old), but he told me that he had not lived with his wife for a long time, but only communicated because of his son.
Our relationship became more and more serious - we planned to live together. Then Stas went to his son's birthday, and when he arrived he said that he had slept with his wife (at that time they had not yet divorced), he said, if you love, I'm sorry. That was all it hurts, it’s not good, but I reconciled. It seems that everything was forgotten. The wife, having learned that he found a woman, filed for divorce (it turns out she didn’t know, Stas said that he thought everything was not serious with us, and then told her).
Everything was somehow forgotten and we began to live together, first at my house (with my mother, she was kochegorically against), and then moved separately to my dacha.
Everything would be fine, but sometimes he drank, and at the same time he constantly started slandering me that I was cheating on him, that I was a whore, I swore that this was not so (it was actually not so at that time), in general constant removal of the brain. In the morning, Ying apologized, said that he loved and all that, I was a little pouty, but then I forgave everything.
There was also a huge minus - he was a player, he spent all the money on slot machines, if I managed to intercept him with a salary, then it’s good, if not, he lowered everything to zero. Then again he apologized, asking for help that he couldn’t cope alone, love. In general, I believed again, I forgave.
I had to work two jobs to provide for the two of us, and to send alimony to his son so that they would not be sued.
Everything would be fine ... but then he calls his sister to Moscow (she has problems with work and personal life there), taking into account the fact that in the country we have one room and a kitchen (there is no door between them), only 21 sq.m .My sister arrived. She turned out to be willing to drink beer in the evenings, take a walk. It became harder and harder for me ... with an intimate life, as it turns out in fits and starts, and then very rarely, because my sister was constantly there. Then she got a job in the gaming club vending machines, and my beloved began to visit there more and more often.
As I said, I had to work two jobs, and there was twice as much work around the house, there was no help from his sister ... I had to wash, clean and cook teer for three (she saved her money from work to rent a room). But somehow everything dragged on for 3.5 months. Then Stas went to Volgograd on business, went to his son, they drank there and he again slept with his wife. This was already the second betrayal of me. I said, I'm sorry, I love ... I forgave you, because he himself confessed (and only then I realized that if I hadn't confessed, I would still have told his ex-wife by that time).
Stas and I had constant conflicts, and plus a sister.
Then my mother was doing repairs, she asked me for help. In general, I met a working guest worker from Moldova there, he sometimes saw our quarrels with Stas and constantly said, leave him, he does not appreciate you, you are so good ... and that's all in such a spirit.
In general, I really wanted warmth and affection ... and I cheated on Stas.
But it didn’t end after the first time ... it lasted 2 months, at first I wanted to part with Stas, I even talked to him about this topic, he asked me to think that everything would work out. And I realized that I couldn’t leave him. seaside vacation to mend our relationship.
And now, we get Stas's salary, we have to leave tomorrow, and I have a whim of SMS from my lover on my phone (I already said with him that everything = is just sex, we won't be together, he understood it all perfectly). Content: " Throw it, you will understand that I am better and love you "... and stuff like that. Stas sees this.
Everything .. scandal, vodka ... beatings ... but ... in the morning we go on vacation. It was the most terrible week in my life ... I was beaten every day, they rotted me morally, out of guilt I asked for forgiveness, just don't leave me.
We returned to Moscow ... he did not leave me, my sister also has not yet found housing.
He drank and beat me systematically when he was at home for half a year. Then my sister rented a room and began to live with a man.
Everything remained the same with us ... if sober, a conversation on neutral topics, just roommates, if he drinks, then beating and maral weed.
I kept asking for forgiveness. I always sat at home, didn’t communicate with anyone - he didn’t allow me. A year passed.
Three years have passed now, everything is slowly getting better, we want to have children, we are being examined, I can’t get pregnant.
But I still have fear, if I raise my voice at me, I’m afraid of fear, I start to tremble, and then I close up, and then, when everything is already calming down, hysteria begins, and I can’t stop.
Sometimes, when Stas gets drunk, they start to choke me morally, he beats me very rarely now (the last time a year ago), but he constantly reminds me during some quarrels that I am cheating on him.
Any holiday with guests where alcohol is present causes fear in me (even if everything is fine, I'm afraid that they will start to beat me and remember everything). because I'm afraid.
He knows about this, I talked to him about this, he says do not vaccinate, and that he warned about this that he would sometimes remember about betrayal when he drinks, he thinks about it all the time.
I just want to be happy, children, family, but something doesn’t work out.
I blame myself for his divorce, for my betrayal.
But little by little everything passes. After scandals, I fall into depression, I worry very much, I want to leave, I want him to leave me ... then I calm down, put up with him (or he with me), and everything goes on routinely .... but repeats not often, once every 2-3 months, maybe less often.
How can I restore peace of mind. I am very closed after all this, and I fall into a stupor if someone raises their voice at me, whether at work or on the street .... I get lost.
Please advise what to do.
I love Stas, but I don’t want to live like this, I don’t have enough strength, I’m giving up more and more.

I want to tell you how I cheated on my husband, why I did it and what eventually came out of this story. I have been married for 5 years and have a child. I love my husband, he is a great father and husband. Before him, I had relationships with two other men, but nothing worked out with them for various reasons. But right now, his attitude has somehow changed, some kind of aggression towards me, probably even angry.

We have a problem: he does not suit me in bed, but I really love this business and want to do it. He knows what does not suit me, knows that I do not feel much pleasure with him. How to live with it? None of the options help.

Dirty thoughts often began to appear in me, and there is also a fan with whom we communicate on the network (not even one, but two fans, just the second one is not so active and rarely writes). He knows about our problem, wants me for a long time and offers help. But I'm afraid I can't decide to cheat on my husband. It seems that I will betray him (husband) by this act, but, on the other hand, I want to understand if I can even experience orgasms.

Friends came to visit us that week, we have been friends for a long time. It so happened that everyone went to bed, we sat, chatted with a friend and husband, my husband spoke badly about me, scolded me. I don’t know how it turned out that our legs touched with his friend, everything that my husband says was unpleasant to me, for some reason I began to touch my friend’s leg more and more often ... We sat, talked, secretly stroked each other’s feet, and nearby the husband sat and did not notice anything. When he went to the toilet, his friend put my hand on his jeans - he was very ready. We were both shocked by what happened. I periodically went to the toilet, then to the bathroom to cool down.

The husband went to bed. We sat, looked at each other and were shocked by all this. Then there was a kiss, then there was petting. Both of us did not want to go to sleep, we wanted to continue, terrible interest and fear. Doing something at home when his wife and my husband are sleeping next to me is scary. Maybe he should have gone to bed, but I saw that he just didn’t want to sleep.

We went outside, found an entrance - passion, kisses, I was shaking all over, contact began - and he immediately finished. I had a terrible disappointment, he was in a hurry to go home so that no one would suspect anything, he was afraid that it might come out, that I would let someone know.

Only a residue remained in my soul: for so long I could not decide on treason, and when it happened, it greatly disappointed me. On the one hand, there is a logical explanation: a terrible overexcitation and therefore everything happened so quickly for him on our first time. But now I can’t think of anything else - I want to finish what I started, but that’s it. And at the same time having sex with two men is somehow unusual ...

They left, the next morning I behaved as if nothing had happened. I was not ashamed in front of my husband - he himself provoked me with his offensive words, it was uncomfortable in front of his girlfriend, wife of a friend. But she herself told so much how passionate he is and how he constantly wants sex and he threatens her that he will have a mistress. I did not expect such fear from him, such indecision that he, as a man, did not bring the matter to the end with me, realizing that I was left unsatisfied (in theory, he should be ashamed, knowing that with her husband this is exactly what problem).

The betrayal of a woman is condemned much more than a similar act on the part of a man.

If we abandon social stereotypes and look at the situation from a different angle, then behind the phrase "what to do - I cheated on my husband" you can see a lot of painful depth that arose before the fact of infidelity arose. How to survive a strange feeling and what to do next, read the article.

What should I do if I cheated on my husband?

Until they rethought the betrayal - do nothing. With her confessions, a woman at the peak of her emotions can destroy a marriage. And you should not leave, because in case of any betrayal, two are responsible - the wife for the act, and the husband for the reasons. The problem is not in the woman (most often), but in the fact that family life has ceased to develop.

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The first unpleasant emotion of a woman that arises if she cheated is a feeling of betrayal, that family life will not be the same, if it exists at all.

Take a time out and do not rush to confess to your spouse, girlfriend or mother, otherwise reproaches, accusations and manipulations of guilt cannot be avoided. A woman must understand the causes of the problem, understand what destroyed the idyll.

Why We Change - Reasons for Cheating

Hundreds of different women on the forums ask psychologists questions about their betrayal, which comes down to a typical form: "What if I cheated on my husband, how to return his love."

The answer depends on the reasons that are useful to know not only for “harlots”, but also for men in order to understand the behavior and accept their part of the responsibility.

1. Underestimated attractiveness or its complete disregard: if a man stopped looking at his wife as a woman, and sees in her only a “mommy”, who feeds, clothes and chokes on a feat in the form of going to the supermarket. He should not take the position of a child. Sometimes she herself provokes such behavior with her overprotectiveness, and there are cases when he simply has not psychologically matured to a relationship at the level of a mature man and woman.

2. The family is in crisis. The husband becomes distant, and the wife begins to look for a compensatory relationship. This situation is the result of the inability to share experiences, to open up, to take steps towards each other, to form “I-statements” without pretensions.

3. Cheating as a way to bring emotions into the quagmire of marital life. There is no entertainment, positive emotions, quality leisure and, most importantly, the development of relationships. A woman subconsciously drives the marriage into crisis in order to revive it, to awaken her husband from a lethargic sleep.

4. Treason as revenge on a man for his adultery. "Why am I worse?" or “I will take revenge on you” - such thoughts visit wives who have caught their halves in a treacherous relationship. They want to hurt their spouse, let them feel the same jealousy, but it turns out that now it has become worse, that the problem has not disappeared, but worsened.

5. Banal case: often the cause of infidelity is the intoxication of a woman, during which an attentive man appears with the confident behavior of a male. In such a situation, it is impossible to think soberly and understand the consequences.

I cheated on my husband how to live on?

Cheating on her husband brings a lot of confusion to a woman's soul: how to live on, advice from whom to listen to - a psychologist, mother or girlfriend? Definitely a specialist, because he is not included in the situation, knows a lot about the causes and consequences, understands the woman, and does not make her guilty.

First, it is not necessary for your husband to know about this if you were not going to take decisive steps towards divorce before.

The second is to speak out, but better anonymously. For this there are forums, random fellow travelers and specialists in the field of family psychology.

The third is to forgive yourself: every person has the right to make a mistake. You need to forgive not only someone, but also yourself. Moreover, if it was one case, you continue to love your man - you should not hurt your beloved man.

Cheated on her husband and he knew what to do?

“I cheated on my husband, he found out, I don’t want to lose him” - is this situation familiar? If a man found out about the betrayal, give him time to get over the pain. The fact that now everything will not be the same as before is clear.

Accept your part of the responsibility, but tell the reasons. This approach helps the husband find the answer to the question “Why?”. Express regret for the act and ask not to take drastic steps.

It is possible that after this crisis you will begin to meet each other faster than before. Take into account male jealousy, his sense of betrayal and try to restore trust. It may take years...

Cheating husband - what to do if the husband cheated

The opposite situation - a man has changed. Psychologist's basic advice on what to do if the husband cheated ":

1. Do not do anything that will burn bridges, the main thing is not to change in retaliation for the reason "I can too."

2. Do not throw tantrums, but show all the pain, step back.

3. The main thing is to find in yourself the reasons why he started doing this. A woman indirectly, but provokes a man to betray. One of the reasons is the male instinct: the lack of sex or its quality provokes many husbands to seek pleasure on the side.

Dive into your pain, do not avoid it - this is a loss: the loss of the illusion of eternal fidelity.

Then stop paying attention to your spouse and start doing something for yourself - what you dreamed about: a new hairstyle, fitness, your own business, going to work, a hobby.

When you become interesting to yourself, you automatically begin to interest a man. And not only his own. And this, oh, how it boosts self-esteem.