How information is received better. Types and ways of perception of information. Features of perception of information

Everyone has their own little tricks that help you remember more and better. From putting a book with poems under the pillow for children to drawing sketches of their thoughts. Science describes a number of common features of how the human brain accepts new information.

1. We remember what we see better.

The brain uses 50% of its resources to analyze the information it sees. In other words, half of its power is devoted to the processing of visual processes, and the rest is divided among the rest of the body's abilities. Moreover, vision directly affects other senses. A perfect example of this is a test in which 54 wine lovers were asked to taste several samples of a grape drink. The experimenters mixed a tasteless, odorless red dye into white wines to see if the participants could spot the trick. They failed, and the red went instead of white with a bang.

Vision is such an important part of how we interpret the world that it can overwhelm people's other senses.

Another surprising discovery related to vision is that we see text as separate images. As you read these lines, your brain perceives each letter as a picture. This fact makes reading incredibly inefficient compared to deriving information from images. At the same time, we pay more attention to moving objects than to static ones.

Images and animations can speed up your learning. Add scribbles, photos, or newspaper and magazine clippings to your notes. Use colors and charts to illustrate new knowledge.

2. We remember the big picture better than the details.

When learning a lot of new concepts, it is easy to drown in the growing flow of data. In order to avoid overload, you need to look back and paint the big picture. You must understand how fresh knowledge fits into a single puzzle, how they can be useful. The brain assimilates information better if it makes a connection between it and something previously known within the same structure.

Let's use a metaphor for a better understanding. Imagine your convolutions - a closet with many shelves. As you arrange more and more clothes in the closet, you begin to separate them according to different signs. And here is a new thing (new information) - a black jacket. It can be sent to other knitwear, put in a winter wardrobe, or assigned to dark brethren. In real life, your jacket will find its place in one of these corners. In your brain, knowledge is connected to everything else. You will easily recall the information later, because it is already laced with threads that are firmly embedded in your head.

Keep a large diagram or list of notes in view that explains the big picture of what you are learning, and add new elements each time along the way.

3. Sleep greatly affects memory

Studies have shown that a full night of sleep between cramming and exams significantly improves performance. One of the experiments tested participants' motor skills after intensive training. And those subjects who slept 12 hours before the test showed much better results than those who were tested every 4 hours of wakefulness.

The nap also adds a buff. Within the walls of the University of California, it turned out that students who kemar after solving a difficult task performed the following tasks better than those who did not close their eyes.

wernerimages/Shutterstock.com

It is important to know that sleep is good not only after but also before training. It turns the brain into a dry sponge, ready to absorb every drop of knowledge.

4. Lack of sleep is detrimental to learning.

Lack of awareness of sleep and underestimation of its importance adversely affect the "flexibility" of your convolutions. Science is still very far from a detailed description of all the healing functions of rest, but it clearly understands what its lack leads to. Sleep deprivation forces the head to slow down, to act without healthy risk according to templates. In addition, the chance of getting physical damage due to the fatigue of all the "cogs" of the body increases.

In terms of learning, sleep deprivation reduces the brain's ability to take in new information by 40%. So there is no need to torture yourself at night with low efficiency, it is better to rest and wake up fully armed.

Research from Harvard Medical School provides interesting numbers: Limiting sleep in the first 30 hours after learning something new can negate all gains, even if you get a good night's sleep after those days with a ponytail.

Normalize the amount and frequency of sleep during training. This way you will be much more attentive and will be able to avoid memory lapses.

5. We ourselves learn better when we teach others.

This is confirmed by a very demonstrative experiment. The scientists divided the participants into two equal groups and gave them the same tasks. According to legend, half of the subjects a little later had to convey their knowledge to other people. It is not difficult to guess that the future "teachers" showed a deeper level of assimilation. The researchers saw firsthand the power of the “responsible mindset” that produced such an effective result.

Approach learning from a “mentors” perspective. So your subconscious mind will force the brain to distinguish the subtleties of similar definitions, carefully analyze the material and delve into the nuances.

6. We learn better from rotation tactics.

Often, repetition seems like the only sure way to memorize information or hone a skill. You have used this method more than once when memorizing a poem or throwing a goal with one hand. However, a less obvious alternation tactic can have a greater effect.

So, in one experiment, participants were shown paintings painted in different artistic styles. The first group was sequentially shown six examples of each style, and the second - mixed (different schools in random order). The latter won: they guessed the belonging to the style twice as often. It is curious that 70% of all subjects before the start of the study were sure that the sequence should give odds to the alternation.

Do not get hung up during training only on penalties. When learning a foreign language, mix memorization of words with listening to speech in the original or writing.

The previous manual from the psychotherapist Ekaterina Sigitova "" very clearly highlighted the problem, the appearance of which, of course, was to be expected. A huge number of people cannot, simply are not able to adequately respond to even the most constructive and friendly criticism. Why? Yes, because every time they hurt a lot.

That is, the manual, of course, made their life a little easier, because it became clear that it makes sense to flush some criticism down the toilet instead of wasting your nerves on it. But what to do with the right criticism? Especially if it's important to you. What to do if you need feedback, but even from accurate and soft remarks you are crooked worse than sciatica and you completely lose motivation and in general the will to live?

In the manual I plan to consider why criticism can hurt you so much, and what are the solutions. I'll tell you how to deal with your reaction. I will give you “tools” that will allow you to hear comments that are useful to you without deep emotional wounds, and also create a base for the future. These tools exist, and I will try to help you master them.

I will also try to help, no matter how strange it may sound, and those who criticize (I mean not the “critics” from the first manual, but those who really have to correct something from other people). Critics can see the main problem points where their statement is perceived as painful - and perhaps find ways to say better. There are always such ways, and if you have a “map of possible problems”, it becomes easier to build phrases.

Rather, let's get started.

A couple of introductory

1. You need to understand that painful perception of criticism is only the tip of the iceberg, the surface part of a much larger problem. Those personality traits that cause such hypersensitivity usually ruin your life in a much wider range of situations. Almost daily, in fact. You know this better than me. Therefore, it is very important to understand this underwater part (it doesn’t matter if it’s your own, a partner, a subordinate, or a friend) and be able to handle it. This can help you in a lot of ways.
2. Criticism only hurts when it hits an already existing wound.. Remember this. If criticism falls into a healthy place (even many times!) - nothing bad ever happens. Therefore, even the most highly sensitive and vulnerable people can perfectly withstand criticism in some specific topics and areas.

My favorite question to illustrate is would you be offended if an alien with blue hair and knees back criticizes your hair color and your joints? - And the favorite answer: "uh, hardly."

So, there is only an overreaction to criticism that touches on something that is already hardened. For example, once wounded by other significant people, or post-traumatic, or “teared open” on their own ... This means that the resistance of each individual to criticism is determined, among other things, by the number of already existing sore spots and open “wounds” (see the list below) . The more of them, the more difficult it is for you. Again, this is important to remember.

There are many reasons for the painful attitude to criticism. Below I will list the ones that seem to me the main ones. They can occur both individually and in pairs, triplets and whole clusters. They can also be symptoms of each other or form the core of the personality. That is, all these points are not mutually exclusive things, but rather elements of a voluminous, complex, fluid puzzle. If you find one or two in your home, there is a good chance that you can handle it on your own. If there are four or five at once, and they really interfere with your life, then psychotherapy may be required.
What are these reasons?

1. Inner critic

He is the rigid Super-Ego. A very strong and large part of the personality, which, being overdeveloped, is engaged not in accurate self-regulation, but in self-eating. I won’t repeat myself - I’d rather give a link to the article “The Inner Critic. Cookbook of self-eating ", there is also written about this beast on the same manual in terms of volume, and there is even a test.

How it works

Criticism that comes from outside resonates (of course) with the darkest expectations and thoughts of the Inner Critic, and not just resonates, but is interpreted as negatively as possible, amplified many times over and brought to the point of absurdity - with the help of far-reaching conclusions, self-abasement and depreciation.

Very simple. “I knew that I was an idiot and I could never do anything normally.” Of course, it is very difficult to live with such a result. Therefore, any, even the most friendly criticism responds extremely painfully - because the degree of friendliness and usefulness is absolutely not important to the Inner Critic, he does not take this parameter (like any other real parameter) into account. He needs to confirm his bad point of view about himself, again and again, again and again.

2. Psychological trauma

In its most general form, trauma is something experienced by a person of such strength that he was not able to cope and received significant damage (often irreversible). Those who have been or are undergoing psychotherapy are usually aware of their traumas. But even if you don't have this therapeutic diagnosis, post-trauma (a post-traumatic state) may nonetheless be present. It, alas, can influence your perception of criticism and not only it. Modern research proves that in people who have experienced trauma, the neurochemical processes in the brain as a whole change quite dramatically.

How it works

Trauma leaves a person with very little resource, because the main part of it has gone (and, perhaps, still goes) to survive in a new reality, one that is damaged. That part of the psyche, which is “I”, becomes very fragile, or stops developing properly (what kind of development, when breathing is not easy). The fragile and unresourced "I" is not enough to process incoming negative signals, and they again cause damage. Sometimes comparable in size to the original injury.

What message do you read from the critique?

DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, you're a victim again, you're being destroyed. Fight, freeze or run, otherwise it will be like then again, and you already know too well how it all can end. Therefore, you need to either prevent damage at all costs, or dutifully lie down and wait it out until the moment when you can begin to recover. In general, "do not scare ostriches - the floor is concrete."

3. Narcissism

No, not that image of falling in love with oneself and extreme egocentrism, replicated in art. A little more difficult. It is now believed that every person has a narcissistic part, and its function is to maintain self-esteem in certain ways. These methods are mainly based on the external confirmation of the inner "I". People with a strongly pronounced narcissistic radical do not feel any intelligible “I” in themselves at all, much less a good one, therefore they entirely make it up from reflections in the eyes of others.

How it works

It is logical - any threat to external confirmation is automatically a threat to the internal good "I". Those. criticism is not just someone's negative opinion, no, no. In this case, it is REALLY eating away at you because you feel defective, inadequate, you feel like something irreparable is on display. You know, in general it is very difficult to live when thoughts and feelings are not just thoughts and feelings, but real reality (this is one of the possible failures in the ability to mentalize, by the way).

What message do you read from the critique?

What you hear/see is not a set of points, but a big, thick indication of your inferiority (completely real - according to your narcissistic part). Any criticism means that you have failed, which means that you are worthless, unworthy, and so on and so forth. Usually at this stage shame is connected (the core feeling in narcissism - narcissism feeds on the illusion of the absence of failures, and thus avoids this terrible shame).

4. Volatile/Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is how we evaluate and perceive ourselves (your Cap). It is believed that normal self-esteem (average or slightly higher) is the presence of a stable concept “I am good / th”, or, more simply, “it’s good that I am”. Several conclusions follow from this, in the context of criticism, this one is important: “most of what I do is more or less good.” Such an attitude should normally be strong enough, then even harsh criticism will not break or bend it.

How it works

With low / unstable self-esteem, criticism lowers you even lower. And you, due to the fact that you are already so tired of being down all the time, you simply cannot bear situations when self-esteem decreases even more, they are catastrophic for you, because you cannot straighten up back.

What message do you read from the critique?

"Well, everything." Criticism in this case is a harbinger and a symptom of a sharp decline in self-esteem, a sign of your inconsistency with your own ideals and values. Incidentally, this is also related to the fact that people with low self-esteem tend to avoid recognizing their own role and responsibility in any problems and troubles in life - both their own and not their own. The same way of interpreting: recognized / a = lost / a self-respect and hope that someday I will become the person of my dreams.

5. Insecurity / Vulnerability

Oh, you can easily write a separate article about vulnerability. I'll try briefly: it feels like you've been flayed, and you have nothing else to cover your sensitive insides. Most interactions with people hurt you so much that you involuntarily scream and jump back. It is clear that at the level of the psyche, this means that it is extremely easy to offend, upset, upset and hurt you, even without the slightest intention. It’s just that you have “mines” everywhere, you yourself don’t know about some until they explode.

How it works

Any phrase (it may not be criticism at all) is perceived as a finger poke into an open wound, as a deliberate or unintentional (but no less painful) attack, with the result in the form of something offensive and hurting. Offensive in any way and offending in any way, regardless of the initial message. Occasionally it can be understood that people are not from evil, but more often - no. After all, they can't help but see that you don't have skin, can they?

What message do you read from the critique?

AAA! PAINFULLY! WHY DID YOU HURT ME SO?! In most cases, this is followed by a violent reaction directed at the "offender" who feels almost like an abuser. Considering the background in the form of flayed skin, I think this reaction is quite natural. The only pity is that understanding and the ability to breathe and move on - this does not increase.

6 Imposter Syndrome

A fairly well-known phenomenon, the essence of which is as follows. Achievements, results, and in general the whole situation are felt by you as undeserved, not acquired thanks to your personal efforts and work - but fallen on you only because of crazy luck or random coincidences. So you didn't do anything at all. Impostor syndrome is constantly accompanied by anxiety and fear - what if they expose? After all, they will inevitably expose, right?

How it works

Criticism is a very clear indication that "the boy just found a helmet" (from the point of view of your inner impostor). Of course, others will immediately see this and expose the naked king! Therefore, criticism makes you shrink in horror, and hate any remarks, even correct ones.

What message do you read from the critique?

NOW THEY WILL UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING... Right now... Right now... Well, not now, then next time. It is very scary to live like this - in constant anxiety and inability to appropriate what you have achieved. Not surprisingly, criticism is interpreted in only one direction - the one that is truly important.

7. Perfectionism

Also material for a separate article called "Wishing Point". Perfectionists completely lack the feeling that they are good enough. And they, in fact, spend their lives chasing this feeling, not knowing what exactly they are looking for and why they need it. The ways that perfectionists use to find that feeling are mostly about reaching the ideal. There is an illusion that if it is achieved, it will be good enough (in fact, no).

How it works

Criticism directly indicates to the perfectionist that he is not ideal, and the illusion that it is possible to reach the “good enough” point crumbles like a house of cards. It is very painful, because it is, in fact, impossible to live without at least such a poor illusion. Therefore, criticism is unbearable for a perfectionist (although at the same time he constantly torments himself with it, such a paradox).

What message do you read from the critique?

OH MY GOD, WRONG! I AM NOT PERFECT (atheists can replace the first part with something equivalent in emotionality). Mistakes, according to a perfectionist, should not be at all, however, as well as imperfections - and if they do exist, then this is nothing more than a sign of poor self-improvement. Notice the difference between narcissism and impostor syndrome? There the focus was outside, “everyone will see”, but here he is on himself. It doesn’t matter who sees what, it’s important that I myself / myself already know about my imperfection, and this is painful.

Not tired? Here's a picture about perfectionism for you to unload:

8. Inability to endure someone else's discomfort

There are people from whom everyone is comfortable. Convenient people. My colleague Polina Gaverdovskaya calls them invisible. These people were brought up by their parents in such a way that, if possible, there would be no discomfort from them. More often than not, this means they had to give up on themselves early. Almost completely - from their needs, feelings, desires and plans - so that no one accidentally crosses the road. And then there will be an attack.

How it works

Any criticism means, oh, horror, that someone is dissatisfied with you, which means that someone has discomfort or even problems from you! And this cannot be allowed, it is very scary. From the realization that you, wittingly or unwittingly, caused someone inconvenience, you can become literally physically ill.

What message do you read from the critique?

“Oh-oh-oh, guard, it’s unpleasant for someone and it’s because of me! He didn’t please, he ruined everything, now the person is suffering.” That is, the usual focus here - on another, on his stability and well-being, on taking care of his comfort, and not at all on himself. Feeling like the cause and source of someone else's discomfort is incredibly difficult for such people, so they take criticism very hard.

9. Paranoia

I don't mean here a psychiatric diagnosis, but rather a personality trait or an inclination, a habit. Have you noticed that there are people who easily accept various conspiracy theories and other people's malice on faith? It doesn't matter if there is something in the basis or not - but it fits perfectly into their perception of the world. Well, that's what paranoid is. Its head motto could be made the phrase "Everything for a reason."

How it works

A paranoid person perceives any criticism as an intent and a desire to hurt him, and it is this intent that hurts / angers him, and not only and not so much the content of the critical remark. Agree that it is not easy to live surrounded by enemies, and it is not surprising to react to their regular attacks very painfully.

What message do you read from the critique?

“So you slept, and I knew that nothing good could be expected from you.” The focus here is also external, as in several previous paragraphs, and there is also no reliance on reality. But there is a certain certainty that everyone wants only bad things for you, and whoever doesn’t want to, hides it, well, or it’s only temporary.

10. Depression/Subdepression

This may be an official diagnosis, or maybe just a certain period in life or a personal inclination (yes, it happens). In any case, the essence is the same: everything is bad, it was bad and will be bad. Unlike narcissism and the impostor syndrome, here the sense of self is very real, it's just that the self is irreparably bad, and there is no hope or motivation to change it.

How it works

A critical remark reinforces the depressive background, confirms that, yes, nothing good has happened yet again. As a rule, depression works in such a way that you still don’t have the energy to correct it, so any criticism hangs like a heavy stone around your neck without the possibility of using it for good (even if it is presented as it should and in fact there is such a possibility). Remember Eeyore the donkey? "Good morning, Piglet ... which I personally doubt."

What message do you read from the critique?

"Everything is ashes." The focus in this case is on a general painful background and inability to enjoy life (the so-called "anaesthesia dolorosa, painful insensibility"), and criticism is only an additional needle. In general, it may not even be heard in terms of content.

11. Personal history

The point partially intersects with trauma. The point here is this: if you have already had to suffer from critics in your life (as a rule, parents, teachers, former relationship partners and other significant people make a significant contribution), then any criticism that is somewhat reminiscent of that one - in content, form or on any other basis - will be perceived by you incredibly painfully. There are many examples, but they have in common that it is enough to touch on a certain topic or build a phrase in a certain way to make you bristle.

How it works

Here the focus is on the fact of criticism around a particular topic or in a particular way. It hurts in itself, because you already have a big callus in this place. And of course, you absolutely cannot see the positive aspects in such criticism, even if there are any - the callus blocks them.

What message do you read from the critique?

“Yyy, again I (something mine) does not suit someone, well, as much as possible.” In general, the reciprocal feeling is very close to despair and impotence, and that is why it hurts so much. You, as a rule, have already learned from the past that you cannot cope with this, and the current situation works for you as an anchor, an instant portal to these memories.
That's all with theory! Let's move on to practice.

Practice. What to do

You have found more than half of the points in yourself and naturally ask me how can you take off with all this now? What to do? And do you need to do something, or maybe you should not bend under the changing world?

I have a ready-made answer to this, which I did not come up with, of course. It's just obvious. Constantly experiencing strong negative emotions for minor reasons, for example, because of criticism, can only be afforded by a person with good mental health and a hardy nervous system.

Are you in good mental health? Resilient nervous system? I would venture to suggest that things are not going as well with this as we would like, otherwise why would you need this manual. That is, the answer is actually unambiguous - it's time to work with options for solutions, because it's simply beyond your means to scatter your mental resource.

I will also state the solutions point by point, I like lists. First tactics (what is applicable here and now), then strategy (what is useful in the long term).

Tactical tricks

1. Make sure that the criticism contains something really useful, and does not solve the psychological problems of the one who issued it.

The most important point. Between 50% and 90% of the criticism you will receive will fail this test, I guarantee it. The downside of this item is that in order to complete it, you will unfortunately have to pass incoming comments through yourself, which can be quite unpleasant (we all know how they are served). But! A good filter "at the entrance" will significantly reduce subsequent experiences and the amount of action. Do you remember that you are not some psycho-oligarch with a hyper-resistant nervous system? So, with this item, save yourself many kilometers of nerves.

How to understand this, how to evaluate whether there is useful in criticism or not? I would advise you to make yourself a checklist (such a list with checkmarks) from the manual "" - select the points that are important for you, add your additional ones, and each time run the received critical remark on it. If more than 3 ticks are typed, the remark is sent to the furnace, you can even not read / listen to the end. Over time, you will train and even without a checklist you will almost instantly understand whether criticism is worth attention or not.

2. Learn to ruthlessly get rid of the criticism that did not pass the test of paragraph 1.

This is a very important topic, it is at the same time about self-care, and about boundaries, and about much more. You should not serve as a bucket for other people's emotional drains, remember this firmly. Never and no one should be such a bucket. And if someone thinks that you are a bucket, this is not your problem at all.

To get rid of in this case would mean, firstly, of course, not to use such criticism as a guide to action. Secondly, do not let it crawl into your territory and corrode you.

How you specifically do it: delete comments, interrupt people, forget, get distracted, use metaphors and rituals - is not so important. The main thing is that it be effective. Take it as a rule and train yourself: if the condition from paragraph 1 is not met, we leave the criticism to its author with a light heart and move on. At first the heart will not be very light, but constant practice will help.

3. For those criticisms that have passed the test and still hurt you, apply the timeout rule.

Listen/read first, then interpret. Postpone your reaction and analysis for at least a few hours (ideally for a day, if possible). And in these few hours, do not chew negative thoughts in circles, but seriously switch to something. This will help reduce the risk of impulsive and habitual negative interpretations, plus, over time, any criticism begins to be perceived less sharply. So give yourself that time.

4. If you are carried into an injury/wound/negative interpretation, stop and take a step back.

Exhale and go back from larger to smaller: not "I'm a loser", but "I did something wrong and out of habit I immediately thought that I was a loser." Not “everything is bad”, but “when my result is not 100%, I automatically think that EVERYTHING is bad”. I really like the cassette rewind metaphor (risky for those under 1990, but still). Oh, chewed up! We take it out, straighten the film and rewind it to a whole, unrumpled place. From there you can again, but more carefully.

5. Try to reformulate for yourself so that it is not offensive.

If such an option exists, of course. Rewrite the phrase or remark so that it is said according to all the rules of correct criticism - friendly, correct, from the position "shoulder to shoulder". Praise yourself for something if you haven't already been praised. Include what you found useful in the incoming criticism, but more carefully and carefully than what was there.

And use your version as a starting point, not the original one. If it is impossible to reformulate, that is, in principle, it is impossible to hear a useful remark so as not to get hurt, then this is an alarming sign. You may not be able to do it alone and need professional help.

Strategic work

1. Work with the general mental "immune system"

Do you know that our body has an entire immune system responsible for protecting the body from foreign and potentially dangerous material at the physical level? Exactly the same thing needs to be grown in oneself at the level of the psyche. Gradually create a system of rules to block what harms or does not meet your goals.

But at the same time, so that the system can let in what will allow you to flourish and become better. The better this “psychoimmunity” works, the less effort you will have to spend on working with criticism “in the moment”. Because you will know that the unnecessary will fall away on its own, but the necessary will remain, and you will be able to gradually digest and integrate this necessary on your own terms and at your own pace, without fear of harm.

What needs to be done in order for this immune system to begin to develop and strengthen? Constantly carry out all the items from the previous list, which is about tactics. Like in the gym - to build muscle, you need to do a lot of approaches. When you repeat each item 30-50 times, you will notice a noticeable difference both in the speed of the reaction and in its quality. And someday all this will begin to happen by itself, without your conscious efforts.

2. Knowing your sensitive spots, triggers and factors that influence it all

Here, in general, there is no need to explain anything. If you know these things, then you can train (sane) people around you to give you criticism in a way that you can bear it. Also, you can also set some standard of criticism for yourself, which will take into account your typical triggers. Well, in order not to miss an important feedback due to the fact that it is poorly designed and hurt your habitual. And in general, it calms you down a lot when you understand - here I obviously have an excessive reaction, because A, B and C, now I will breathe and it will subside.

3. Separating yourself from your actions

In our culture, this rule is probably useful to almost everyone. Somehow, it so happened that almost no one knows how to criticize without getting personal, respectively, and it is also extremely difficult to accept criticism without a free bonus “you are bad”. Learn to separate these two "tracks", even if the author of the criticism did not. You as a person - separately, the object of criticism (your creation, product, result) - separately. If you didn’t do something well enough this time, then it doesn’t mean anything about you as a person. Repeat this to yourself like a spell.

4. Growing the Inner Kind Parent

The point is important not only for those who have a powerful Inner Critic. As a rule, all the roots of a painful attitude towards criticism grow from some important life periods, during which you lacked a stronger figure that would support you in your mistakes, imperfections and worse. According to the principle - "sometimes, you are still good / th, let's think about what to do next and how to turn it to your advantage."

Create such a figure within yourself, be kinder to yourself than other people are to you. If you have had such a person in your life, call up a mental image of him/her every time you need support and try to imagine what he/she would say to you if he were around.

Psychotherapy

Here it is written in detail what can be done in psychotherapy for people with different problems from the theoretical list. And you can decide for yourself if you need it.

Finally, I want to answer a question that I am often asked in topics about criticism. It sounds like this: but if everything is done the way you say, then people will simply easily ignore criticism they don’t like, and as a result, they will stop developing, becoming better? Is it possible?!

Answer: to develop and become better, you need strength, not a stick, which in our culture is most often criticism. You need to be able to listen to yourself and your needs, take care of yourself, love and accept yourself. This is not yet in sight, and I'm not sure that it will be soon. So for now I'm trying to help the injured, not to take care of the quality standard of people. You can take care of your own standard and development yourself when you get out of the vicious circle of painful criticism and free up a resource. I hope the manual will help you with this.

Good information is hard to come by.
Doing something with her is even more difficult.
Stirlitz

Wherever a person is, everywhere he is surrounded by an information field. But are we always ready to correctly accept, understand and convey the necessary information? Psychologists state that many people do not know how to work with incoming information and therefore suffer from an overabundance or lack of impressions received. Therefore, it is so important in school to teach children to process information in different ways. And you can do it with games.

Brief description of each side getting information:

1. Psychologists distinguish two main ways to get information: with the help of the senses (sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste); and by inference. Often these two paths merge into one, which is necessary to solve a problem.

2. Under the preservation of information primarily by ability to retain received information. The process of storing and processing information includes all components of cognition: perception, memory, imagination, thinking.

Distinguish between passive and active conservation. In the first case, the information is reproduced in its original form, that is, in the one in which it was received. With the active preservation of information, the “text” undergoes certain changes (connection of figurative, associative spheres of thinking, etc.).

3. Successful reproduction and transmission of information depends on the means used by people involved in the communication process. To such means of information exchange include speech, writing, gestures, facial expressions and pantomime, para- and extralinguistic systems (intonation, non-speech inclusions in speech, for example, pauses) and even a system for organizing communication space (comfort, degree of trust, etc.).

The purpose of the game block is to introduce the participants to the basic techniques for exchanging information, to form the ability to process it, to find the vital in it for solving any problems.

The exercises below are:

• develop logical memory (i.e., the ability to use special techniques for comprehending and memorizing the information received based on similarity, contrast, semantic proximity and associations),
• help to achieve a high speed of information processing,
• deepen perception (understanding both direct and indirect information),
• train the flexibility of assimilation of information (ease of transition from one association to another).

All games included in the informative block are integrative, although they are associated with a specific side: obtaining information, saving, reproducing and transmitting.

Game 1. Business card

For the first exercise, you will need a small ball that is easy to roll in your palms (a bump, a pebble, etc. will do).

Exercise: each participant should tell about himself. But the task is complicated by the fact that each new "calling card", in addition to repeating information that has already been voiced, must add something new. For example:

1st participant: My name is Anton, I am 10 years old.

2nd participant: My name is Anya, I am 11 years old, I love pancakes.

3rd participant: My name is Lena, I am 11 years old. I don't like pancakes, but I like to dance... Etc.

The game forms the primary perception of the group as a whole. Participants learn to isolate basic information, “try on” it, and join the process of circular communication.

Questions for discussion:

• Whose information turned out to be the most interesting and “reached” to the end?
• And what information was lost and why?

The game is aimed at developing the ability to isolate basic information, correlate and enrich the acquired knowledge in accordance with a specific life situation.

Game 2. Going on a hike or Supermarket

Three or four volunteers are selected from the group and leave the audience. The rest are offered the following exercise:

Imagine that you are a group of people planning to have a good rest in the coming days. You are not limited by any material limits, so you came to a magnificent supermarket to pick up everything you need for your future trip. But there is one condition: you buy only those goods that begin with the letter ... (for example, "C": boots, soup, sofa, diesel fuel, etc.). But remember that those who serve you do not know about the agreement. Their task is to understand, without your prompting, what goods you will take with you on the road.

A group of "supermarket attendants" are then invited to serve unusual customers. Moreover, do not forget that "customers" should only affirmatively or negatively respond to the offer of goods. So:

Dear customers, we offer you tents... No? Then maybe backpacks?.. Etc.

Questions for discussion:

• How long does it take the group to isolate information by ear?
• What tools will they use to solve the problem?

The game develops the ability to analyze different channels for obtaining information (hearing, vision, etc.). The game is also attractive because all participants are involved in its process, and the solution is found by a small group of participants.

Game 3. I give you...

A couple of players are playing. The rest are "limited" to the role of attentive observers.

Exercise: two people, sitting opposite each other, can give the most unimaginable gifts for several minutes. However, the following conditions are met:

• at the beginning of each remark, gratitude is sure to sound: “Thank you, Valera (Marina, Igor, etc.) for the gift ...”;
• be sure to list all the gifts already given and add a new one.

For example, after the fourth gift exchange, you might hear the following:

Thank you, Sveta! I gave you a table, you gave me a flower, I gave you a broom, you gave me a dishwasher, I gave you an eternal holiday, you gave me a rejuvenating apple, I gave you the globe, you gave me a treasure island, and I give you. ..

Questions for discussion:

• Who will be the first to make two failures in a row?
• Who is better at retaining information?
• Who in search of gifts goes in an unconventional way?

The game, in addition to the information load, teaches not to be afraid of direct contact, the ability to improvise, concentration and ... goodwill.

Game 4. Tell a story

A game that will be interesting to people of any age, literally "from young to old." Fairy tales are loved by everyone, many are happy to come up with their fabulously modern stories. It would seem that what could be unusual (super-informative) in such a game? But the fact is that the tale is told from the end ...

game form: in a chain (the more participants, the longer the tale). The main condition is the same as in the previous game, but here you first need to say something new, and then repeat the previous remarks.

Exercise: the first participant says the usual final phrase of the tale (for example: "And they lived happily and died on the same day"). The next one completes in two or three phrases the events that happened before this: “And they played a magnificent wedding. They had beautiful children. And they lived happily and died on the same day. And so on, until the plot of the tale gets to the last narrator. The last participant gives a name to the tale and tells it from beginning to end.

Questions for discussion:

• What are the vicissitudes of the plot: traditional or completely unusual?
• Is the logic of the narration of the “fairy tale in reverse” preserved?
• Is the plot of the tale supported by the intonations of the narrators?
• Whose plot twist is the most surprising?

As in previous games, memory develops, the ability to concentrate and improvise, to keep the thread of reasoning, the ability to "finish" information.

Option: the fairy tale is told by the participants sequentially from beginning to end, one word at a time.

Game 5

You will need a pen (pencil) and paper for each participant.

Exercise: in front of you is a list of 10 words: shoemaker, nuts, bun, bank, celery, hairdresser, scissors, bananas, mosquito, correspondence.

First of all, classify and group the suggested words according to your choice. Then try to connect at least three words from different groups in one sentence. To connect words, it is possible to combine them using various prepositions (for example, “correspondence with a mosquito and bananas”).

Questions for discussion:

• Whose classifications are the most complete?
• Whose figurative rows are the most memorable?

The ability to group objects and associative memorization, according to psychologists, help improve the assimilation of information from 19 to 61%. “It is better to use any grouping than not to use any at all,” says American researcher Danielle Lapp.

Option: make a story according to the received classifications.

Game 6

For work, clippings from newspapers and magazines of the same volume are required.

The course takes place in the form of a competition.

Exercise: in front of you are two small newspaper pieces. Your task is to read both passages aloud, observing the following condition: read in turn (one paragraph from each material). Then retell the full text of each passage as a keepsake.

Option: Sentences are read alternately, not paragraphs.

Questions for discussion:

• Whose retelling will be closer to the originals?
• Who will spend the least amount of time on this work?

The game helps to isolate the necessary information in different streams, and also develops the ability to quickly switch attention.

Game 7

Multiple studies of psychologists have confirmed the fact that any information is transmitted not only through the content, but also through the intonation, gestures and facial expressions of the speaker. Let's try to check this statement.

Group task: imagine this situation: you come to school and find out that there will be no chemistry (algebra, literature) today. Try to convey this news to any of your classmates, mainly with the help of gestures, facial expressions, since the text that you pronounce when conveying a message is the well-known proverb “Dust flies across the field from the clatter of hooves.” The intonation should show whether you are happy about this occasion or not. Pass this information on to your neighbor. He will convey his mood with the help of the same words to the next participant, and so on until the end of the chain. And the latter should tell this news to the chemistry (algebra, literature) teacher whom you met in the corridor.

Questions for discussion:

• What is the tone of your line this time?
• Whose "remarks" seemed the most expressive and why?
• Is it really possible to convey the content of information by additional means?
• Where else can this technique be used?

When performing this task, it is not just playing out an imaginary situation, but the ability to emotionally convey, live information, and enrich it intonation is formed. The paradox of the situation lies in the fact that certain restrictions in the content (only the words of the proverb) force the informant to look for other means to achieve his goal.

Game 8. Complete set

Prepare cards with the names of literary works and the names of their main characters (option: historical event and its participants, etc.).

Exercise: each participant receives a card either with the name of a literary work, or with the name of a hero. At the sign of the host, everyone reads out loud twice what is written on the cards. The goal of the game is to combine the heroes with the work (an event with participants) as soon as possible.

Questions for discussion:

• Is it easy to find "your person" in the conditions of an overabundance of information?
• What or who is preventing reunification?
• What other tasks could be offered?

Game 9

Participants are divided into small groups of 6 people. The host offers a variety of tasks:

Line up in a row in accordance with the alphabet according to the first letter of the name;

Line up in a row in accordance with the alphabet according to the last letter of the name (surname, second letter, etc.);

Find your way of building a group.

Questions for discussion:

• Which group responds faster to tasks?
• Which one found the most interesting way to self-classify? etc.

Game 10

Who among us has not sent telegrams? What is the main thing in it? Of course, concise, emotional content. Groups are invited to send telegrams to each other. These messages are combined by the initial letters of words, for example:

B T L V D K M P Z X O (selection of letters can be very diverse).

Exercise: compose such a telegram text in which each (significant) word would sequentially begin with the proposed letter. So, the first word begins with “B”, the second with “T”, etc. To connect words, you can insert prepositions and punctuation marks in an unlimited number.

For example:

Large Tomatoes Lie under the Carriage. Making Ketchup or Swapping Tomatoes for Animals? I would like an Orangutan.

Boris! Your Laziness Leads to Wild Conflicts. May I help? Knowledge Good I promise.

Questions for discussion:

• Whose telegram was funnier? More terrible? More vital? More expressive?
• How do insignificant parts of speech, punctuation marks affect the content?
• Was it easy to work in a group when composing the telegram?

Game 11

Everyone stands in a circle, leaving more space in the center.

Exercise: Participants are asked to alternately walk through the circle, but not with normal gait. If the person is at a loss, invite him to walk like a spy (sneaking on tiptoe), like a supermodel (“gait free from the hip ...”), like a soldier on parade (printing a step), etc.

Each participant goes through the circle, and the group guesses "who is who."

Option: participants are offered cards on which various professions are written. It is necessary to show professional affiliation with a gait.

Questions for discussion:

• What channel for obtaining information is used here?
• What can a person's gait express: his profession? his emotions?
• How do we respond to different walking styles?
• And what do the people who are observed and evaluated feel?

“Criticism can be easily avoided by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing” ~ Aristotle

People react to criticism in different ways. Someone learns from her lessons and treats her calmly. But for some, it is a problem that causes anger, excuses, self-doubt and a drop in self-esteem. How can this problem be avoided? How to properly respond to criticism? How to make criticism bring us benefit, and not bitterness and suffering?

Rule 1 - Calm down and observe

Do not give in to the first reaction that your mind and emotions give rise to. Yes, criticism can be unpleasant, and I know it. Sometimes, when we hear such criticism, we feel that our work has not been adequately evaluated, that our personal qualities have been called into question. Differences between one's own expectations and the opinions of other people generate an unpleasant dissonance: resentment, irritation, bitterness and anger provoke a reaction of desperate defense or an aggressive attack on a criticizing person. There is nothing strange and surprising in this, because we are forced to act by the protective psychological mechanisms hidden in us by nature.

When we hear negative criticism, we unconsciously see a threat not only to our social position, but we also feel threatened by the ideas of self that have already taken root in us. In general, we do not like it when people say things about us that we ourselves are not used to thinking about ourselves.

Therefore, it happens that we passionately and violently react to criticism. It is, one might say, an automatic mental reaction. But where there is automatism, there is not always room for common sense and understanding. Anger and resentment narrow the field of your perception, they attract all your attention only to themselves: you think a lot more about how to defend yourself against criticism or how to find weaknesses in this criticism than how much it can help you.

But if you calm down and relax, wait out the first stormy wave of emotions, then your perception will become free from overwhelming feelings, and you will see a lot more that you have not seen before. For example, the fact that in a critical assessment, albeit too subjective, there is some truth. And if you take it into account, then in the future it will help you avoid many mistakes. Or, on the contrary, you will understand that the remark was completely unfair, and the person who made it was in a bad mood, which provoked him to an unfriendly assessment of you and your work.

A calm mind can see much more and to think much more constructively than a mind subject to strong emotions.

So before getting into a debate or responding to an email containing unpleasant information about your work, try to calm down. There are many different techniques that will help you quickly pull yourself together and restore mental balance:

• Slowly count to ten in your mind
• Take a few deep slow breaths in and out with your belly.
• Write down all your thoughts and describe all your feelings on paper before answering. What do you feel? What do you think? Spill it on paper, not on a person

These are good and effective techniques that will help you "wait out" the first reaction and relax.

But I like in this case (time permitting) just to observe my mind. To see how he worries and thrashes around under the heat of the fire of my wounded conceit. How he becomes biased, ceases to understand, and freezes in a militant stance in order to rush at the offender. How he showers me with heaps of flattery and self-justification to make the criticism less painful...

Instead of succumbing to the first reaction, just calmly observe it. As soon as you notice that your mind has begun to come up with clever ways to defend itself against the attacks of criticism again, shift your attention back to observation. So you will not only see how the violent reaction gradually weakens and fades away, you will also learn a lot about yourself, about how your mind behaves, how your psyche works. You will learn a lot more from dispassionate observation of yourself than from all psychology textbooks put together!

But there is no need to somehow condemn this reaction of your mind. Remember, there is nothing wrong with it, because it is natural. We are so arranged by nature that we can react to criticism in a similar way. Therefore, treat this reaction with love and understanding, but at the same time, try not to succumb to it, but remain a spectator, not involved in the performance.

If you learn this, then it will be much easier for you (anger, irritation), you can not react to them immediately, but use the time to come up with the best solution to the problem you are facing. This skill is very useful in life. It will help you avoid a lot of quarrels, scandals and just difficult situations. You will see that the first reaction is the strongest for just a few seconds: once you endure this time, do not succumb to the first wave, it will be much easier for you to pull yourself together.

Rule 2 - Use criticism as an opportunity to improve

Criticism is not always a reason to drop your dignity or offend you. It can serve as a reliable guide to point out your weaknesses or the weaknesses of the project you are working on. It is not very correct to plug your ears and resist when such an assistant is talking to you. But that's exactly what people do when they react violently to criticism.

If you listen to this guide, you will learn a lot about yourself and maybe become a better person! If criticism points to your weaknesses that you can improve, then this is not at all a reason to be upset! After all, you are likely to say thank you to the person who tells you in time that your car's brakes are faulty. You will immediately take the car to the service and, possibly, save your health or life. Why is it so difficult for us to accept disapproving criticism of ourselves?

Accept it with gratitude and use it to your advantage! And rest assured, practically. Therefore, do not take criticism as a sentence and reproach to yourself!

But what if the criticism is aimed at qualities that you cannot change? Moreover, there is no reason to worry about it! What's the use of mourning over something you can't fix? circumstances as they are.

Rule 3 - Ask for details

Sometimes it pays to clarify criticism. First of all, thank the person for their critical comment. Next, you should make sure that you understand him correctly: you can clarify some aspects of his remark. For example: “what do you mean by the lack of references to sources”, “give an example, please!”

This will help not only buy time, but also clarify, detail criticism and change your reaction to it. For example, at first it seemed to you that the quality of your work in general was being questioned, but after clarifying the critical remark, you were convinced that only a separate aspect of your work was being discussed: “Okay, I will give an example. In the "software" section, you do not have an analysis of the sources you relied on. In the "technical solutions" section, I also did not see a detailed analysis. As for the remaining 12 sections, there is enough analysis there.”

Agree, such criticism is much easier to accept than the generalized statement "in your work you do not refer to sources." People tend to generalize, so ask them to clarify their comments and back up with concrete examples. The same goes for life situations, not just work situations. Instead of scolding your wife for calling you irresponsible, ask her in what situations you are irresponsible and how often such situations occur. Ask her for examples. It is always easier to agree with examples than with abstract accusations. You can't argue with the facts, they help to dot the i's. Maybe you find out that you really don't take much responsibility for your life and something needs to change. Or you will come to the conclusion that the facts of irresponsible behavior are exaggerated by your spouse, they are isolated. And in many situations, you remain serious and determined.

This tactic will not only help clarify what the critic has in mind, but will also allow you to take time out so as not to succumb to the first reaction, which can be the most destructive when you do not have time and opportunity to relax and calm down.

Rule 4 - Listen to criticism

When you listen to someone's criticism, try to only listen to it! You should not immediately think out after the first words what to answer and how to defend yourself. In this way, you may miss some important details in the words of the critic and look stupid when answering him. And, of course, you should not interrupt the interlocutor, trying to give him your answer. Listen carefully to the end, this will help you better understand the other person's words, as well as collect your thoughts yourself to answer in the most appropriate way. Take a moment to consider his words. No one will judge you for this, on the contrary, in this way you will demonstrate respect for someone else's point of view. You took the time to think about it, and not just say the first thing that came to your mind.

And the more calmly and thoughtfully you answer, the less inadequate criticism you will hear in response, and it will be easier for you to accept criticism. Curb your ego, but also don't insult the ego of the one who criticizes you, treat criticism with respect. If two egos clash in a duel, then disaster cannot be avoided. Mutual respect, the ability to listen, do not allow this clash to occur.

Rule 5 - Make sure the criticism is relevant to its subject

Sometimes you need to make sure that the one who criticizes you has a good understanding of the subject and purpose of your work. For example, often on this site I receive critical feedback about my articles. Many of them really help me write better. But others seem to be aiming not at my article, but at another one that I did not write. For example, a person can criticize something that I did not indicate in the article. This may happen due to various reasons. I could not explain my point of view very well. Or the reader didn't understand it very well. Perhaps he was simply too lazy to read the article to the end, but he had a desire to criticize it. I react to such criticism in different ways. Sometimes I try to find out what caused it. Maybe I really did not explain something well, and I should reformulate my thoughts. Sometimes I just pass by without answering, because I don't see the point in rewriting the stable image that a reader has formed who has reshaped my work in their own way.

Therefore, before responding to criticism, you should make sure that it is addressed specifically to your work, and not to the distorted image of this work in the head of the critic. No need to get involved in an argument about work that you did not do and react to such criticism with resentment. After all, it is not addressed to your work, but to some distorted representation of it in the head of the critic. And this image may have little to do with the actual subject: don't take it personally. A person could come up with something himself, and then criticize what he came up with, thinking that he condemns your work. Don't give in to this illusion.

Also, this criticism should take into account the goals of this work. For example, it's not very smart to criticize a washing machine for not sending SMS from it.

Rule 6 - Get rid of the mindset that you have to be perfect

Get rid of the belief that you have to be perfect, and your work must be the best the first time. If all people did their job perfectly, then there would be no need for teamwork, meetings and exchange of ideas. People are forced to support each other, discuss the results of joint work, make suggestions and point out mistakes. Even the most senior leaders do not make important decisions alone. Because they know that everyone makes mistakes.

Learn to be calm about your mistakes and shortcomings. No matter how hard you try to do something, no matter how ambitious goals you set for yourself, no matter how reverently you treat your tasks, there will always be room for error, imperfection. We are all people and we are all limited by our knowledge, experience, beliefs. And the more we think that we should be perfect, the further we push perfection away from us! What we fear becomes our reality over time! Rejecting criticism, rejecting everything that does not correspond to our idealized ideas about ourselves, about our work, we refuse to learn. We refuse to get better. We refuse to move towards perfection. The viability of our illusions and shaky ideas about ourselves becomes more important for us than any development.

About how destructive these attitudes can be, I will tell in the next paragraph, giving an example from life.

Rule 7 - Don't argue with someone else's impression, listen to it

A few years ago, on a forum, I saw a request from a member to rate his online project. The concept of the site was interesting. But the implementation was quite poor: small print, lack of paragraphs, confusing style of presentation of information, difficulty with navigation, completely unsightly design, lack of optimization.

Critics voiced all these shortcomings, showed examples of successful sites and made suggestions on how and what needs to be corrected in order for the site to become popular. That is, the criticism was aimed more at helping than at vilifying the work of this man.

But you can never be wrong in your impression! If your work has a repulsive effect on someone, then this effect is what it is. If someone says that they are uncomfortable reading the text on your presentation or their eyes are strained by the colors of the design you have developed, then they are most likely not deceiving you. Yes, this impression may change over time, but now it is exactly that and, most likely, for a reason. If you are doing work for people, and not to admire it alone, then it makes more sense to listen to people's opinions.

The author of the site I was talking about could listen to the opinions of those who were trying to help him make the site better for the public and perhaps win over his devoted readers. But in order to do this, he had to get rid of the attitude that the result of his many months of work had to be perfect. But he was convinced of the correctness of his assessment, that he knew everything better than other people whose impressions were "wrong", and no one but him could evaluate his work. From the very beginning, he did not want criticism, despite his request. He only wanted praise for a job well done. And as a sacrifice to his conceit and stubbornness, he brought a potentially successful project. His website no longer exists.

Rule 8 - Use someone else's opinion to complement the perspective

Different people think differently. They see the situation differently. They notice what others do not notice and, conversely, do not see what you see. That is why we are forced to cooperate: our points of view complement each other, even if, at first glance, they seem to be in conflict.

It's like looking at the same point on the landscape, but from different angles. You are standing on a hill to the north, while your colleague surveys a point from the plain to the south. You see the landscape from above: the roofs of houses, the peaks of towers, but you do not realize the actual height of the buildings. Whereas, if you look at them from below, your eye will more accurately notice how some buildings differ in height from others. And the contradiction generated by the view from different perspectives is only imaginary.

Open cooperation, a willingness to accept someone else's point of view, gives volume, depth and completeness to the problem under consideration, whether it is your relationship, your work or yourself.

Rule 9 - Assess the situation

Ask yourself: who is criticizing you? Maybe this is a person who was opposed to you from the very beginning? Or someone who feels important when they criticize others? Or is it your friend who loves you and wants to help you? Depending on the answers to these questions, your reaction to criticism will change.

Also ask yourself questions: Why am I being criticized? Fair criticism or not? Did they understand me correctly? Have I given any reason to be criticized? Perhaps you will realize that you did not clearly convey your idea, which caused an unfavorable reaction. Or your work really contains some flaws that you can fix, instead of convincing everyone that it is perfect.

Rule 10 - Give thanks for the criticism. Use it as an ego trainer

Before jumping into a controversy, mentally thank the person who criticizes you. After all, criticism helps you become better! I already wrote that it points out your mistakes and helps you avoid them. But not only truthful and polite criticisms can be useful to you! No matter how strange it may sound, but the most useful criticism for you can be the most unfair and offensive!

On my site, some people sometimes leave impolite, offensive and unfair remarks about my articles, sometimes passing on my personality. But it is precisely such comments that temper my ability to calmly respond to unflattering criticism, not to succumb to my emotions. I call comments like this: "ego trainer". Only the most unflattering criticism can awaken my Ego and leave me alone with him, see him at the highest point of passion and curb him. It's hard and doesn't always work. Sometimes this struggle leaves severe emotional wounds. But if these wounds are left alone, let them heal, and the fire raging inside is extinguished, then sooner or later the flowers of experience, development and knowledge will appear in their place.

A “trained” ego that is immune to insults is a guarantee of unshakable self-esteem and a strong character!

It is unpleasant for me to hear feedback from those who do not appreciate my work, like any other person. Especially if a lot of energy and moral strength is invested in this work. But often it was from these reviews that I had some kind of breakthrough in understanding: strong emotions did not allow me to forget what I was told, and I again and again returned to these offensive words. But gradually the veil of emotions subsided, and the truth was exposed. I have seen that even the most offensive criticism can contain some sound grain. A person's angry reaction may be due to his personal problems, but at the same time, it can be caused by something in me and point to something. Let his personal perception greatly distorted what he was trying to tell. But I can take his message and decipher it, strip it of everything unnecessary, and use it for myself!

Therefore, remember that whatever criticism is: mild or aggressive, truthful or inadequate, motivated by love or hatred, it can all be useful for you! You can find grains of truth in it. And even if you don’t find it, it will temper and strengthen your ego. Therefore, always thank people for criticism (not necessarily in words, you can do it in your mind), because they are doing you an invaluable service, even if they themselves do not know about it!

Rule 11 - Refer to statistics

Criticism is often subjective. Instead of losing your mental balance because of the opinion of a single person, think about what other people think about the subject of criticism? If someone has criticized your work, then find out how your other colleagues appreciated it. If someone criticized you personally, remember what your friends think of you. They communicate with you, love and respect you despite all your shortcomings. You can also ask yourself what do you think about yourself and your work? You also have a great right to vote and participate in these statistics! Often we worry so much about the opinion of another person that we forget to ask ourselves what we really think about it.

Opinions are subjective, we all know this very well, but we do not use this knowledge. Thousands of laudatory reviews about us and about our work can pass us by, unnoticed by us. But one single negative review can deprive us of mood for whole days! But such reviews will inevitably arise, especially if many people evaluate your work. (Remember Aristotle's aphorism at the beginning of the article?) This is natural. You can't be perfect. You can't please everyone.

Rule 12 - Don't get into pointless arguments

Try to listen to criticism if it's reasonable, and just ignore it if it's not true. This will save you time and nerves. In my article "" I wrote the following. When a person argues, his mind is fully focused on attacking the opponent or defending his own point of view. He is not interested in the truth, he either defends himself or attacks, being unable to understand and perceive. This makes it difficult to benefit from criticism and improve, and also gives rise to many unpleasant emotions.

Of course, pointless arguments should be avoided, but this does not mean that in situations where the public is waiting for your answer, any, even the most unfair criticism, should be silently accepted. Sometimes, however, one should pay attention to the shortcomings of criticism or its inconsistency with its subject.

Rule 13 - React when needed

In this article, I wrote how important it is to accept someone else's criticism, listen to it, and show respect. But there are situations when criticism turns into rudeness and insult. And you need to respond to this in accordance with the situation. If someone offended you on the Internet - pass by. If in real life someone regularly offends you, then you can’t just endure it in silence. I hope that your wisdom will tell you how to act in this situation.

Other people's opinions of you are not always based on real facts. Sometimes it is only the result of their personal conjectures, the projection of their fears onto you. It happens that people have a negative impression of your personality or of your work as a result of a cursory impression, their tendency to generalize and not see the whole. Often a person's opinion of you, expressed in criticism, is only his personal problem, and not yours, even if there is some truth in this opinion.

Feel free to take this truth, use it for your needs. And leave all the bitterness and anger to the critic himself, let them stay with him!

Remember, opinions about you only exist in other people's minds, and more often than not, they stay there if you don't let them in. Give people the right to carry in their heads any thoughts and any opinions they want! Do not make a big deal out of the fact that this opinion is just that, and not some other.

But, nevertheless, one should not avoid responding to any criticism. Sometimes you may be criticized simply to annoy you, or simply out of a desire to offend you. Such criticism can be intrusive and annoying, and you should not leave it as it is, but react.

In many situations, you still have to defend your opinion, cut off unfair attacks and defend yourself. If you have to do it, then do it with a calm heart, without undue indignation. Be persistent in defending your opinion where the situation calls for persistence, without losing tact and listening skills.

Whether you're learning a new language, learning to cook, learning a musical instrument, or simply training your memory, it's good to know how the brain learns new information.

Each person is unique, but in the process of learning we all show similar psycho-physiological tendencies. Understanding these patterns will help you develop the most effective strategy for acquiring new knowledge.

Let's look at 6 basic principles of learning that everyone should know.

1. Visual information is best absorbed

50% of brain resources are spent on visual perception. Think for a moment: exactly half of your brain activity is occupied by vision and understanding of what you see, and only the rest goes to other receptors and internal processes of the body.

However, vision is not only the most energy-consuming channel of perception. Its influence on the rest of the senses is so great that sometimes it can significantly distort the meaning of the information received.

50% of brain activity is used to process visual information.
70% of incoming information passes through visual receptors.
It takes 100ms (0.1 seconds) to decipher the visual scene.

An example of such an influence is an experiment in which more than fifty passionate wine lovers could not determine which drink was in front of him - red or white wine. Before the start of the tasting, the experimenters mixed a red pigment without taste and smell into the white wine. As a result, without exception, all the subjects claimed that they drink red wine - the influence of the appearance of the drink on taste buds turned out to be so strong.

Another amazing finding was that the brain perceives text as a set of images, so reading this paragraph now, in fact, you are doing a great job of deciphering many "hieroglyphs", which are letters, into semantic units.

In this regard, it becomes clear why reading takes so much effort compared to looking at illustrations.

In addition to static visual objects, we also pay special attention to everything that moves. That is, drawings and animations are the best companions when learning something, and all kinds of cards, images and diagrams can serve as a good help for the successful assimilation of new information.

2. First - the essence, then the details

In an effort to master a large amount of new information at once, you risk creating a terrible mess in your head. To avoid this, keep in touch with the big picture: after learning something new, go back and see how it can relate to what you already know - this will help you not to get lost.

In fact, the human brain tends to catch the general sense of what is happening first, and only then the details, so why not use this natural feature to your advantage?

Having received a portion of knowledge, find a place for them in the general system - this will significantly increase your chances of memorization. Also, before learning anything, it can be helpful to first understand the general point: knowing what will be discussed as a whole serves as a support for the nervous system to perceive finer details.

Imagine that your memory is a closet with a bunch of shelves: each time you add a new thing to it, you think about which category it belongs to. For example, you bought a black sweater and you can put it on the black shelf, the sweater shelf, or the "winter" shelf. Obviously, in reality, you can't put the same thing in more than one place at once, but hypothetically, these categories exist, and your neurons regularly do this job of correlating new incoming information with what is already available.

By making graphs and writing about the place of the subject being studied in the overall picture of knowledge, you will achieve better assimilation of information.

3. Sleep significantly affects memory and learning ability

Studies have shown that when learning new information is followed by a healthy night's sleep, this has a positive effect on the retention of knowledge. In the Motor Skills Experiment, participants who had 12 hours of sleep before the test showed 20.5% improvement, while the other group, in which learning a new skill and testing it fell on the same day with a difference of 4 hours, achieved an improvement in everything. by 3.9%.

However, a modern person does not always have the opportunity to fully sleep, and in such cases a short daytime nap helps. University of California experiment ( The University of California) found that students who were asked to sleep after completing a challenging task did much better when performing a similar exercise after sleep than those who remained awake between the two tests.

Sleeping before learning new material can also be very helpful. Dr. Matthew Walker Dr. Matthew Walker), who led the study, states that "sleep prepares the brain for new knowledge and makes it look like a dry sponge, ready to absorb as much moisture as possible."

Learn a new skill or read about something before you go to bed: when you get up and try to remember what you learned before going to bed, you will be surprised how much you remember.

4. Lack of sleep affects cognitive performance

Not having a complete understanding of the nature of sleep and its purpose, sometimes we neglect this natural need, causing ourselves to lack it, or.

But despite the fact that the process of sleep itself is not fully understood, scientists have long known what its absence leads to: high nervous tension, increased caution, risk avoidance, reliance on old habits, as well as susceptibility to various diseases and physical injuries, such as how tired organs lose their normal tone.

Lack of sleep also affects cognitive activity: the ability to absorb new information is reduced by 40%. From this point of view, a good night's sleep and a fresh head in the morning can be much more beneficial than staying up late at night on work or textbooks.

• irritability
• cognitive disorders
• memory lapses, forgetfulness
• amoral behavior
• non-stop yawning
• hallucinations
• symptoms similar to ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)
• slow motion
• trembling limbs
• muscle pain
• incoordination
• cardiac arrhythmia
• risk of heart disease
• risk of diabetes
• growth suppression
• obesity
• fever

Harvard Medical School ( Harvard Medical School) conducted a study in which it was found that the 30 hours following training are the most critical for consolidating new knowledge, and lack of sleep during this period can nullify all your efforts, even if after these 30 hours you get enough sleep.

Therefore, leave night gatherings in the past: the most productive time for learning new things is during the daytime, when you are alert and full of energy, and for the best memorization of information, do not forget to get a good sleep right away.

5. We remember information best when we teach others.

When we have to explain to others what we ourselves have just learned, our brain absorbs information much better: we organize it more clearly in our minds, and memory stores the main points in more detail.

A group of participants in one experiment were told that they would be taking a test to test their newly acquired knowledge, while the second group had to prepare to explain this information to others. As a result, all the test subjects passed the test, but those who thought that they would have to teach someone remembered the material much better than the rest.

Study author, Dr. John Nestojko ( Dr. John Nestojko), says that the mental attitude of students before and during training can have a big impact on the cognitive process. " To set the students in the right mood, sometimes it is enough to give them a couple of simple instructions.“, he declares.

Although we may not always be aware of it, the need to communicate our knowledge to others forces us to use more effective methods: we better highlight the main thing, make connections between different facts more easily, and organize the information received more carefully.

6. Information is remembered better when it alternates with another

"Block Practice" ( block practice) is a fairly common approach to learning, named as such by the scientist of the University of California, Dick Schmidt ( Dick Schmidt). This approach involves learning the same things in blocks, that is, by repeating information or skill over and over again over a long period of time, such as continuously reading a history textbook or mastering a single serve in tennis.

Schmidt himself advocates a fundamentally different method based on the alternation of information in the learning process. His colleague, Bob Bjork, is investigating this approach in his psychology lab by giving participants pictures of two different art styles, with some subjects studying the work in blocks of 6 pictures of each style, while others view the pictures in turn.

As a result, subjects who were shown pictures in blocks were much worse able to distinguish one style from another (30% correct answers) compared to those who watched pictures of different styles mixed up (60%).

Surprisingly, before the start of the experiment, about 70% of the participants said that they find the block approach more effective and that it helps them in learning. As you can see, our ordinary ideas about the cognitive process are often far from reality and need to be clarified.

Björk believes that the principle of alternation works better because it is based on the brain's natural ability to recognize patterns and differences between them. As for the study of new information, the same principle helps to notice the new and correlate it with the data already available.

This approach can be used in preparing for exams, when you do not improve each skill separately, but in turn: oral, written and listening comprehension when learning a foreign language, right and left serve in tennis, etc.

As Björk says, we all need to learn how to learn. " Almost any job involves continuous learning, and understanding how you can influence the effectiveness of this process will greatly increase your chances of success.».