How do you make important decisions when in doubt. How to make the right decision when in doubt. Don't get emotional

When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
• What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
• What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their couple the cherished “I love you” never sounded from either side.

The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she then herself take the step and say “I love you” first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.

Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.

What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change the angle of your vision: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.

It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you intentionally avoid a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Breathe easy? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision after 10 minutes, will you regret what you did after 10 months (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it Will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.

Our decisions largely affect our entire life. Everyone understands this, but not everyone manages to make the right choice.

At times, we seem to be at a crossroads, and do not know how to make the right decision. In some situations, intuition helps, but in most cases, you have to be guided by cold reason and common sense.

A few simple but effective tips will help you learn to make a decision even in the midst of the most complex and, at first glance, intractable problems.

So how do you make a decision when in doubt?

1. Expand your boundaries.

One of the main mistakes that prevent you from making a choice in favor of one or another option is. We ourselves set rigid limits, and then we try to get out of them. What is it about, and how to learn to make decisions?

For example, you live with your parents and decide to buy a separate apartment, but currently there is not enough money to buy a two-story mansion. Two main options immediately appear in my head: buy a mansion on credit, or stay with my parents and continue to collect the necessary amount.

But there is another way to make a decision - a possible alternative. For example, buy a cheaper house, move there and save up for a more expensive option. Thus, you will avoid problems related to credit and living with relatives.

The first thing you need to do to learn how to make a decision is to expand the scope, not focusing on extremes.

Even the wise Solomon once said:
"He who hastily stumbles with his feet."

How many times have we made the wrong choice in a hurry and then regretted it?

Before you make the right decision, calm down as much as possible and carefully weigh the pros and cons. If your phone is literally bursting with calls, and the interlocutor simply pushes you in the back to do this or that act, be careful: you may very soon regret your rash actions. Take a timeout, ask for a delay, and don't worry - there are not many situations in life in which procrastination is like death. You will see that after a short time you will clearly understand how to decide to take this or that step.

3. Get as much information as possible.

For those who want to know how to make the right choice in a given situation, it does not hurt to learn one more truth: do not hesitate to ask.

You will save money if, before an important purchase, you “shake” everything out of the seller that he can only know about this product, especially about its shortcomings. You will avoid problems if you ask your friends about the results of his work before going to the doctor. By reading product reviews, reviews, or even brief movie synopses, you'll save yourself time and hassle and learn to make decisions by asking yourself if you really need it or not.

4. Don't get emotional.

There is nothing worse when, in a fit of anger, the spouses file for divorce, or vice versa, in euphoria or an attempt to "annoy" someone, they get married and regret it a week later. - a dangerous enemy to make the right choice. At the most inopportune moment, when common sense says one thing, emotions can lead to the side and spoil all plans.

How to learn to make decisions? Without giving in to emotions.

Ask yourself the question: how will my action affect my future life, and how will I look at all this in 15 minutes, in a month, in a year?

5. Stay in the dark.

There is one good way to make a decision by reducing the influence of emotions - dimming the lights.

Lighting has been scientifically proven to affect how a person reacts to different situations, and the results of these experiments are being skillfully used in marketing today.

For example, in most jewelry stores, very bright lighting is on, not only so that the buyer can see the product well, but also in order to provoke him to make a quick purchase. Therefore, if you are considering how to decide to take an important step, turn on the soft, subdued lights in the room and be alone with your thoughts, getting rid of excessive emotions.

6. Try and fail.

Yes, it's not a typo. Anyone who wants to know how to make a decision when in doubt must be prepared to make mistakes. We will not quote the great classics now, but experience comes precisely through trial and error.

How to make the right choice without stuffing a single bump? No way. Everyone has their own "rake", and in this article we only tried to warn you how not to step on strangers.

We want to tell you about an amazing and very simple technique of 7 questions that will allow you to assess the situation from different points of view, get rid of doubts and take the ability to make the right choice to a new level.

WARNING: You may not always like the answers, but in the end they will help you make the right decision.

1. What would I choose (a) if not for fear?

Unfortunately, too many decisions in our lives are made for us by our own fears and stereotypes. Of course, successful businessmen are careful about all the risks they take in their choice, but they are also conscious about their fears in doing so. If you feel obstacles - write down (literally!) all your fears and doubts and carefully work them out with someone who will help you be objective. Sometimes the choice that causes us the most fear is the best one.

2. What would I choose (a) if not money?

What do you think: many brilliant ideas have not been implemented due to lack of money? Or is there no money due to the fact that these ideas were not implemented? Will you refuse to develop and move forward if it seems to you that you do not have enough funds for this? No matter how fantastic it may sound, but if you made the right choice, there will always be money. Remember crowdfunding (from the English. rowd funding, сrowd- "crowd", funding- "financing"). You can also ask for help from relatives, friends, acquaintances, or just let your surroundings know that you are looking for an investor. And let the money, or rather the lack of it, do not stop you.

3. What is the worst and best thing that can happen?

As a continuation of the previous two questions, draw yourself a mental map on paper of all the possible consequences of all possible decisions. List the positive, negative, tangible, and minor results that your choice will entail. In most cases, the best way out will thus become apparent on its own.

4. What has my previous experience taught me?

Any life experience - whether it be positive or negative - gives us valuable lessons. Defeats in our lives happen only when, when we have not learned any lesson for ourselves. The rise is just as valuable a lesson as the fall. Think back to your previous ups and downs and consider: Does previous experience tell you what to do in this situation?

5. Does it match my vision?

Ask yourself the question: do you really need it, or are you agreeing out of necessity, although you are turning in the wrong direction at all? After all, one of the main factors for success is consistency, so always keep in mind whether this decision is in line with your vision, and whether it knocks you off your course?

6. What do my soul and body tell me?

Think back to the last choice you regret - didn't your inner voice or body give you signals that you shouldn't do this? If you feel physically uncomfortable when making a decision, or your inner voice quietly dissuades you, listen to these signals. They may not coincide with what you are leaning towards at the moment, but the subconscious mind is much more aware of how this choice will affect you in the future.

7. How will I look at myself in the mirror tomorrow?

Finally, about the future. How will you feel the day after you make a decision? If you feel proud, energized and inspired, you are on the right track. If you notice shame or regret behind you, don't ignore those feelings. If you are already experiencing them, prepare for the worst.

For the full picture, consider what you will experience as a result of your choice in a week/month/year. You can also take 5 or 10 years for big decisions that have a significant impact on your entire life.

Conclusions: How to make the right choice?

Save this image to your desktop. Post it on your Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / LinkedIn / Vkontakte. Print it out and hang it above your desktop. And every time you are in doubt when making a choice, answer each of these 7 questions for yourself. Believe me - it works.

How to make the right decision

What you need to know before you make a decision, what questions to ask and how to guide your decision

Most people are afraid, do not know or do not know how (do not understand) how to approach and make a decision.

And if we divide the decision-making into stages (steps). What steps are important to make the most correct, final decision?

I will talk about these steps below, but first, what to pay attention to when making decisions.

It often happens that before making a decision, a person does not really know what he wants or which option he should choose.

And here it is important that you do not just analyze, but put aside logic for a while and immerse yourself in attention, feel whether it is really pleasant for you, whether it will be a pleasure for you to do this business for a long time. And we do not focus here only on the result, money and profit. Just listen to your inner voice, sometimes a hint may not come right away, and here it’s better not to put pressure on yourself, but to bear the answer, trust your intuition.

You can also ask yourself a couple of questions: "What does my mind tell me?" and answer out loud quickly, without thinking, and then ask: "What does my intuition (my soul) tell me?", and look very carefully at your very first thoughts that come to mind, most often they are the most correct. Observe for yourself what feelings they evoke in you, whether there is something in them that inspires you.

I consider this the main advice and in most cases, this is all that is needed to make the right decision.

Do you know what a famous and successful person said about this:

Feel free to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you really want to become.

Steve Jobs

And it often happens that the situations themselves do not tolerate reasoning from us, you just need to do something and that's it. For example, if you are single, an opportunity has presented itself and you feel that you sincerely want to get to know each other, then you should not go into all these - "What will happen if ...", listen to your heart and just follow it - take some action with the answer to all doubts - "but come what may."

5 questions in decision making

Very often we doubt whether I really need it, why. And especially if the decision affects the global and long-term perspective. Here I still recommend listening more to the inner voice, but you can ask yourself 5 leading questions.

First question- "Do I want it X do I want to do this, do I want to have this, do I want to be somebody?"Honestly Answering Ourselves" YES" or " NO".

When you have identified and answered yourself: "YES", I want to do exactly this, move on to the next question, - " If I do this, if I become someone and achieve this, will I be in harmony with myself, with the Universe, or for those who believe, in harmony with God?"

If you answered "YES" to yourself, then ask yourself the following question "If I do this, if I become someone, then bring closer whether it me to my goal, my dream ?"

If your answer is "YES", then ask yourself another question - " If I do this, if I have this, if I become someone, will it violate human rights?"

If your answer is "NO", then go to the last question - " If I achieve my goal, will I do better for myself and someone else? This question is perhaps the easiest to answer.

And having answered your questions, having decided, you need to take action. Right now, at this moment start taking action to change something in your life. To become successful, independent and finally achieve what you so desire. Don't procrastinate telling yourself- "That's it, yes, I've decided that tomorrow I'll start acting", or "I'll think again and then I will finally decide whether I need it or not"- Believe me, friends, it is unlikely that you will decide and start something.

And if you try later, as a rule, this is just another attempt and no more. Do straightaway even the smallest step is important your first step important START.

For example, such a first step is the need to collect useful information, find out what and how. The more details you know, the easier it is to make decisions and move faster and more confidently.

Just worry and don't move

Do not delay making final decisions if you already feel that this is yours, you crave change and you need it, and do not worry too much now about how you will be and when, what will come - these are not the questions now, gradually everything will come itself. Your main goal now is to make a decision.

If you delay making a decision, it means that you have already made a decision - to leave everything as it is.

Remember that Doubts will still remain and you should not get rid of them in every possible way. It’s normal to experience, because no one can predict success and know exactly how everything will go, you can only, to a greater or lesser extent, believe depending on experience and conditions.

And once you make the final decision and start taking the first steps
, all these "HOW" - they will come to you. You will find or meet the right people, and the right situations will begin to arise around you. You will begin to attract them to you, this is some kind of amazing phenomenon, but I convinced myself that it works, like a relationship with the universe.

By the way, think carefully for yourself and remember when you started to think about something and do something, no matter what, when all of a sudden, right away or after some time, something started to happen - you met the right people or you found yourself in that place and at that time, or the necessary information came across.

So, main - make a decision.

Don't base yourself on decision making From what you have today, think what you want, strive for it and make your decision on that. The fear of failure is always stronger than the possibility of change, it is much more terrible for us to lose something than the desire to try to gain something, but if you are guided only, you will not go far.

And all other questions, such as - "Can I do this?", "Am I doing it right?" "And if it doesn't work out?" - All these questions are not questions of a person who wants more from life. They should be given attention only for a quick assessment of the reality of what is being implemented, in order to correct the course and no more.

Almost every one of you has been in a situation where, having made some decision and started doing something, after a while, maybe quickly, maybe later, you understand - it should have been different.

If you do not accept for yourself that there is not and will not be an absolutely right decision, if you are afraid and based on the fear of mistakes, you will never achieve what you dream of. The point is that You either do it or you don't and there's no other choice.. Except as an even worse option, it is being all the time in a waiting state only to think and dream about something, to wait 100% opportunity in the hope that this will come, do nothing, and all the time be in a state of dissatisfaction with yourself and your life.

"Any course of action has its own price and risk. But they are much less than the price and risk of comfortable doing nothing"

John F. Kennedy

What stops you from making better decisions?

We are in different states at different times, depending on some external or internal factors, and as a result, no matter how smart you are, our consciousness perceives the situation differently. And when making some decision, you failed to make the right choice because that at that time were not in that condition, you may have been depressed, anxious and overworked, and you simply did not have enough potential.

In another case, when you almost immediately understand what led to the wrong decision, and not because you made a conscious wrong decision, not because " consciousness is not enough", but because it was not possible to restrain oneself, to control oneself by discarding emotions (most often this happens, and this is the saddest thing).

Very often we are blinded by emotions that make us miss important nuances in making a particular choice and which later may turn out to be decisive. Therefore, always before making an important decision, calm down, for this it is best to observe the breath for 5-8 slow, calm inhalations and exhalations, and if you are too excited then postpone the decision for a while, let your brain calm down and clear up.

How to be guided in decisions (choice of actions)

Make decisions based on the principles

When making decisions, always remember and be guided by your main principles and sincere desires. For example, if you want to start a business, then you need to consider that it will not be an easy walk, but hard work. Are you ready to sacrifice your comfort, personal time and family time? And what is it all for?

Maybe you will understand that just the same family, comfort and peace, this is what you are striving for, and earning a lot of money can take a lot of this away from you. Some people, starting to chase money, forget about their main values, for the sake of which they began to do it at all.

If you still feel that this business or something else is necessary for you, then go ahead and be bolder.

Focus on the essentials

When you have already decided everything, started to act and determine the direction every day, decide what to do now, always be guided by priority main action, ask yourself - "What is the best right now, at this moment, I can do in order to get closer to my goal?"

And taking concrete action - without delay, you try to do it.. Just don't over tighten.

How to make a decision. Motivation

And for my support, motivation, I highly recommend keeping a diary, this is really important.

How do we make a diary? In a new notebook we write, first questions, then we answer - " Why do I need it?", "What will it give me?", " How confident will I become?", "How will I feel about it?", "How will I live with this??", "What opportunities will this give me?". Describe everything vividly, in colorful images, presenting as if you have already achieved success and are now experiencing these sensations.

And every day you should start by reading the diary, with this most powerful motivation. You perform actions already in a different mood, and with each subsequent day this mood will become better.

In what you write, in 95% of cases you will not believe. Why is that? Because it's all about the (settings) that we have inside, in our subconscious. And if we do not change these attitudes, we are doomed to failure. In order to reprogram, change these programs, you will write this diary. When you put your thoughts on paper, the brain perceives everything differently than when it happens in your head.

But the best thing is if you still, at the same time, find a like-minded person who will share your vision, your goals. And sharing with him your thoughts, or even read them aloud. Everything will begin to boil inside you, you will, as it were, be divided in two. One part will say-" You can not ", other " You will succeed ". And most importantly, with such repetition and discipline you program your subconscious, change your unsuccessful installations.

There are other ways of programming, but this is in other articles. Why others? It's simple - one of us perceives everything visually, then audio information, or you need both together. All this can be easily felt if you just listen to yourself. In the meantime, I recommend learning a little more about with it, it can dramatically change your life as a whole.

And one moment, each person in the process of the journey has such days when everything falls out of hand, there is no mood, well-being, to put it mildly, is not working and you need to continue doing something, but things are not going at all. Write on a card that you will always carry with you your most cherished goal. And when you need to act, but there is no mood, take out your card and ask yourself, "Why and why do you need all this?" And honestly answer this question for yourself. Your response will motivate you to take action and only action will lead you to your goal.

Finally, how to decide:

And always remember, each of us is a unique person, with his own weaknesses, but also his own strengths. And each of us has the right to be who we want!

Good luck in making the right decisions and energy for action! !

Best regards Andrey Russkikh

Check it out for sure! How to fulfill a dream