When a lover says he loves. What to do when a married man loves his mistress? Can a man love both his wife and his mistress. What to do

Let's start by clarifying what exactly a person means by the word "love"? After all, the answer to such an important question depends on what meaning is put into this word. If there is a feeling of warmth, tenderness or affection behind it, then it is quite possible to fall in love with two at once. Under such conditions, you can become attached to both three and ten at the same time.

Another question is when a man says: I love my wife and I love my mistress, but it implies a manifestation of mutual active care, or, if you like, a demonstration of motivation to form stable relationships in a couple. Based on this meaning, then double love is impossible.

Why? Because by showing care to your wife, you will not hurt her by showing the same care to another female person. And because the desire to form a stable pair connection is incompatible with the formation of the same connection with someone else, except for the spouse. So it will cease to be stable.

Guided by our clear definitions, it turns out that it is impossible to love both the lawful chosen one and the mistress at the same time.

But there is a but! Situations when a person is convinced of his feelings for two at once do exist. And both sexes face such cases.

There are three possible explanations:

• The first and simplest is that the definition of feelings in words is incorrect, since a man really feels it only for his mistress, and lives with his wife only because it is so convenient, there is a child, or for some other reason.
• The second explanation, in fact, has the basis of the first, but a little more complicated. Here a person implies a personal dependence on certain manifestations of another person.
• The third, perhaps most important, is that a man is in a state of split, at a climax, deciding what to do - to choose a spouse or a mistress?

The last point should be considered in more detail.

The new begins where the old ends

To begin with, let's consider the scheme of the development of the situation, which leads to a painful conclusion: I love both my wife and a new passion.

Why do you think the novel appears on the side? That's right - because the main feeling for a partner is weakening. Or disappear altogether. When he appears with renewed vigor, he is already called by another woman - his mistress. And now the romance is gaining momentum, the situation seems to be obvious, but ... Suddenly, the unexpected happens: in some incomprehensible way, relations with his wife have improved. How exactly - a separate conversation. In short, both hormones and purely psychological mechanisms work here (for example, the pressure of a new passion, incorrect behavior, etc.), and something else that is not yet subject to scientific explanation.

But the fact of a sudden and seemingly completely illogical emergence of mutual understanding in a married couple has been noticed and confirmed by psychologists. And it is precisely at this point, being between two “good relations”, that a person learns an unbearable state of choice - from whom to leave, and with whom to stay? And it seems that here a positive answer to the question: is it possible to love two, no doubt. Yes, but it only seems. In fact, the choice between two passions is that very dual love.

In this state, such a feeling either still, or no longer exists. It will appear later, after the selection is made. And by the way, a man does not always experience true love for the one he has chosen. But this is a separate issue.

Task: to decide with whom to stay is difficult, because here you need to act. And in order to act, you need to realize that one of the relationships needs to end. Otherwise, it is unrealistic to withstand psychologically the state of uncertainty. An incomplete connection is like an infection that slowly spreads and poisons the personality.

Who to part with is a personal matter for everyone, but there are tips on how to do it. If the relationship isn't quite dead yet, it's worth considering. But if they survived their finale a few years ago, then it is worth acting. Living in the hope that things can get better, as well as constantly comparing a potential new wife with an old one (or vice versa), you only hurt yourself.

And yes, the advice applies to one person as well as to another. After all, your relationship with your spouse after infidelity can also become new. The main thing to understand is that the new begins where the old ends.

With whom to stay, and with whom to leave

A representative of the stronger sex, choosing between a legal spouse and another woman, will have a hard time. You need to prepare yourself for the fact that any decision will not be painless. You also need to be aware of how much you want to take it. Perhaps you are waiting for women to do it for you. It is clear that in such a situation, a person wants someone to help with the decision, be it a psychologist, an astrologer or close people. But the help of someone from the outside is rather an illusion, self-deception, since the one who chooses simply needs to share responsibility with someone. Better yet, move it.
Remember that a love triangle ruins the lives of three people at once. The final decision must be made, and the sooner the better.

Since the choice is closely connected with the rejection of something that was in a person’s life, it is important to understand here: what he gains and what he loses by giving preference to one or another passion.

Another factor to consider is to understand the concept of "love". In a situation where a husband is in love with both his wife and his mistress, there cannot be two absolutely identical feelings. Ask yourself: what exactly are you experiencing? Describe the feelings in words, taking into account all the shades. Surely they will be different. In some there will be more passion, in others - care or responsibility. Notice the difference between the soul urges. What is she in? Maybe you have a specific deterrent, such as having children. Give yourself an account of this. Or is your financial situation not allowing you to part with your ex and provide for a new darling? Or maybe you have some other addiction that does not allow you to assess the situation impartially? These are very important factors. They may seem quite insignificant against the background of experiences, but still play a decisive role in the selection process.

There are examples when a man does not leave his wife only because of the responsibility for the family, which he took on entirely. Of course, it is noble, but the hopelessness here will drag on for a long time. The strong half of the couple needs to figure out as soon as possible why he does this? Perhaps he treats his wife like a small child - is he convinced that she will not live without his protection and help? But he does not understand that in reality he feels only pity? After all, real passion still goes to another woman. So, protection and help is no longer needed.

Moreover, when a husband treats his chosen one like a child, this is fundamentally wrong.

Such a connection, if not worked on, means that it is time for the husband to leave, and it is time for the wife to grow up. Here there will be a mutual complement: having left, the partner will give the other half a chance for an adult independent life.

Should you go to another?

When thinking about whether to leave for another woman, ask yourself what is valuable to you in this regard, what have you acquired that was not in a past life? Very often, betrayal does not stem from a love impulse, but from dissatisfaction, a lack of one or more "puzzles" in marriage. If this is your case, know that an affair on the side is a reaction to discord in family life.

Choosing a new passion, it is important for a person to realize that:

• A new love arose not because of a lack of sensations.
• It is not a banal escape from everyday life and family problems.
• The person with whom you have established a new relationship is yours in every sense of the word.

If one of the points has shaken confidence in the decision, the representative of the stronger sex runs the risk of losing more than gaining.

When you make your choice, perhaps for some time you will love your wife and potential chosen one at the same time. But time will put everything in its place. It will become truly clear only when the passion subsides and other relationships grow on its foundation - real lasting love or alienation and disappointment. Guarantees, unfortunately, no one will give, so you have to take a chance and surrender to the will of fate.

But let us remind you once again - while there is still a chance, take a closer look at your feelings, listen to yourself as objectively as possible, without deceiving or creating illusions. Perhaps this is your chance to change your life for the better. Or not. But in any case, the responsibility lies with you. You must remember this.

And I love my wife and the “other”: the opinions of scientists

Consider the double bond process from a biochemical point of view. In this area, they do not believe in double love. Based on their theory, passion is caused by such a substance as dopamine, which is understandable to physicists, but not romantics. Dopamine is released only when a person sees the one they are in love with. And the process is possible only in relation to one person, but not to two.

But some psychotherapists answer the question: can a man love two at once, they answer positively. But note that not everyone has such a gift. It goes only to those who have a strong and developed psyche.

Then can a person with a strong psyche fall in love with three? Let's give an example: the famous English businessman James Goldsmith had three full-fledged families at once. Each had children, spending time together, vacations, etc. Periodically, he changed his place of deployment and lived with all three families in turn. The will also listed three heirs.

It turns out that it is also possible to fall in love with three? Scientists are sure not.

Of course, if the lover's psyche is all right. To fall in love means to enter a kind of obsessive state, which, according to scientists, is not able to arise immediately for three. Obsession can only occur in turn. Apparently, James Goldsmith did.

Another interesting fact: sexologists say that the feeling of falling in love is closely connected with the bed. And although romantics will not like this expression, there is no love without sexual desire. There is just a hobby.

And if we are talking about bed, then here are some facts about how the love triangle relates to sex:

• Only 5% of partners never went "to the left". But this does not mean that 95% cheat with a "cold heart" or have an unsuccessful marriage.
• 20-30% of civil couples, as well as about 15% of those legalized at least once, but had the experience of threesomes. And the third was not superfluous.
• And the last thing: it often happens that a husband does not want a wife, but actively has sex with a passion on the side, although he is in love with both equally (as he thinks). British scientists believe that a person has a gene that suppresses sexual desire, paired with many years of marital experience.

Love is the territory of only two, so there are no women in the world who seek a serious relationship with married men.

In theory, everything is simple - a married man cannot be "the man of your dreams." He is simply not seen as a potential partner.

But real human relationships are far from ideal. We do not always find out in time that a man is married (you can verify this by visiting almost any women's forum).

The absence of a wedding ring has a calming effect, and when meeting an absent wife, they rarely talk about it - after all, we get to know each other first of all as individuals, and not as possible spouses. And we sincerely rejoice if interest and friendly relations pass into a romantic stage.

But it often turns out that your prince is already married. And the woman begins to wonder what to do and how to stop loving a married man.

Why are relationships with a married man usually futile?

If you, having learned about the presence of a wife, do not lose interest in him and decide to continue the relationship with this man (many do this, because love is blind, strong emotions prevent you from thinking rationally, and the question “why and why am I doing this?” Does not arise) , a love triangle is inevitably formed in which you are assigned the role of a mistress.

In some cases, the triangle quickly breaks up, and the mistress acquires the status of a legal wife. But such cases are the exception rather than the rule.

What do dream books say about this?

Subconsciously, most women know this - it is not for nothing that the dream book, in which folk experience is concentrated, predicts that a married man dreams of trouble. This is not surprising - women usually negatively perceive men who have mistresses.

The dream interpretation also portends the appearance of guilt and tension. If a woman is interested in the meaning of dreams and believes in omens, she can part with a married man in time. And if she is married, she will be able to pay attention to her marriage in time - the dream book interprets such a dream as dissatisfaction with marriage.

Although many modern women consider dream books to be an archaic relic, psychology and statistics in this case agree with them - Sigmund Freud used dreams to conduct psychoanalysis, and even compiled his own dream book.

Statistics say that the resulting love triangles:

• Often become "chronic" because all its participants are not able to leave.
• All its participants are psychologically traumatized, and the longer such relationships last, the more severe the trauma.

A woman, having decided to have a relationship with a married man, usually does not take into account the psychological background of his behavior. Psychologists say that in most cases men with certain problems (complexes, etc.) have mistresses.

Despite the popular opinion about male polygamy, male psychology does not allow, with a stable, warm and sensual relationship with his wife, to have an affair on the side. Why, then, even men who are tuned in to married life sometimes have mistresses?

Why do men need a mistress?

A lover in the life of a normal married man appears when problems arise in his family relationships. Husbands are not inclined to analyze the causes of these problems and eliminate them (the exception is a lover who appeared with his wife).

In most cases, with family troubles, a married man either goes to work or seeks understanding on the side. And then you appear on his horizon - not married, you yourself show interest in him, do not condemn, do not ask “why?” and understand everything as it should!

And the mutual understanding that has arisen between you (if there is none in his family) is the reason why a love affair arises, which a man may later regret. Very often in such cases, your lover begins to rush between you and his wife, to whom he is still attached.

He starts to feel guilty. You can look for answers in dream books, guess, hope that he will go to you forever, you can endlessly. And in the end, most likely, he will not be able to choose: with whom to maintain relations, and with whom not.

A woman who has entered into a relationship with a married man always expects to remain in his life forever, not as a mistress, but as a lawful wife. But many men are quite satisfied with the status of a lover.

A married man needs another woman if:

1. The wife often makes scandals, all the time she demands something, and he wants an easy relationship without special responsibilities.
2. Intimate life has become monotonous, but because of this, you don’t want to share property and children.
3. He got married too early or “over the top”, there are no special feelings for his wife at the moment, other women are of interest, but he is very attached to the child.

The spouse usually does not plan to leave the family, since the domestic side of the marriage suits him perfectly. Often the interest of such men is a bright and married woman, because she rarely wants to part with her husband.

What promises a love triangle to a mistress?

Psychology and statistics say that at first, relationships that are not burdened by everyday life and adorned with romance (a married man tries not only to please you, but also to compensate for the presence of a wife) suit most women who have fallen in love with a married man.

The woman still believes that the lover is really going to part with his wife and draws in her imagination bright pictures of a joint future.

Over time, she realizes that if she becomes the only one, then not soon, she begins to look for a forum with similar stories, look into a dream book or try to clarify the future by other methods. The dream interpretation focuses on the external data of the dreaming man, the forum recommends breaking up, and various predictions are vague.

At the same time, she still likes the man and has no strength to part with him. The woman herself does not understand why she and her chosen one need this relationship, but “I love him” outweighs all arguments, and the dream book, which allows different interpretations, gives false hope.

Over time, interest gradually fades away and the relationship becomes painful. The question of what to do with these relationships, how to fall out of love with a married man and how to part with him, becomes especially acute at the later stage of the existence of the triangle.

The woman worries why she herself allowed this and why she did not stop in time. In some cases, self-esteem falls, and the woman herself does not want to do anything to part with her lover.

Other men do not arouse interest, because in addition to a kind of dependence, a belief is formed that almost all men at least occasionally have mistresses. That is why, having fallen in love with a married man, it is better to immediately think about what to do in order to avoid the fate of a mistress.

If a married man is of interest to you

Although the concept of "mistress" comes from the word "love", society treats women with such a status extremely unfavorably, but "lover" is perceived more adequately. As a result, you are forced to:

• Endure the pangs of jealousy and at the same time carefully hide them- being married, you can break the dishes as a last resort, but he already has these joys of life “there”. And he is looking for peace, sympathy and complete understanding from you.
• Never call and never count on him. If necessary, you can write sms, choosing neutral expressions, but no “I love”.

• Live in constant anticipation of his visit, i.e. regularly be on full alert and keep his interest.
• Spend the holidays alone. Even if your lover celebrates some event surrounded by colleagues, it is inconvenient for him to take you instead of his wife.
• Tolerate his lies.
• Deal with the fact that he has a child, therefore, in addition to remorse, you are still waiting for “I can’t today - my son has training, temperature, parent meeting, etc.”.

At the same time, you also want to have children, but a child from a married man either remains completely without a dad, or his dad is coming, “Sunday”. Even if a woman thinks that she can tie a lover to her as a child, and he leaves the family, at best she will simply turn into a secret wife.

The forum on this issue is replete with sad stories about believing in what "loves" and about unfulfilled hopes, but even sadder when a child is involved in this difficult relationship. Therefore, if you decide to create a full-fledged family, with your beloved, but married, it is better to leave, and it is better if you do it yourself.

How to end a hopeless relationship with a married man?

Psychology claims that a person is not able to control love, but we are quite capable of preventing love from developing into a deep feeling. If you realize that you like a married man, try to study all the nuances of the situation.

The man who arouses your interest may well not live with his family (marriage exists only on paper). It is desirable to obtain information not from the man himself, but from disinterested persons (mutual friends, etc.).

If the marriage is formal, you can give free rein to your feelings, and not even look into the dream book.

If there were no signs of “disintegration” in the family before your appearance, and you do not want endless meetings with a lover who will never become a husband, you need to understand how to stop loving a married man and what you need to do for this.

Desirable:

• Take a timeout in communication. During this time, you can meet a person who will be of interest to you and at the same time will not be married.
• Imagine that you are married to him and what will you do in this case. In the process of courtship, a person shows himself from the best side, but it is no coincidence that his family life is not ideal, because not only the wife is to blame for this situation (often the lover believes that only the wives themselves are to blame for the fact that men have mistresses).
• If your relationship has been going on for some time, you are most likely sure that he loves you, but is still living with her (there is always an explanation for “why”). Your "I love" does not allow a sober look at the situation, but it is simply necessary.

If a divorce does not occur in the first months of a new romance, according to statistics, it will never happen. In this case, it is the man who must decide who is more dear to him - his wife or his mistress.

If he really loves you, he will definitely decide on a divorce. But for some reason he can't make up his mind. So why waste your feelings and life on someone who did not deserve it?

Why me?

In addition, in order to understand how to forget a married man, it is important to analyze your past. Not every woman loves a married man and agrees to the role of a mistress.

Psychology says that married men come across quite often to women with low self-esteem. Therefore, first of all, you need to increase your self-esteem, throw away the dream book and fortune-telling cards, pay attention to yourself and surround yourself with new positive impressions.

Try to look at the forum on this topic - communicating with people in a similar situation will help you make the right decision and avoid men who have mistresses in the future.

Think about whether you can trust this man if he becomes your husband. After all, once he had already decided to have a mistress, and for some men, the presence of mistresses is the norm.

Do not live in illusions - the sooner you can correctly assess the situation, the more chances you have to become happy. Without false hopes, interpretations of dream books, advice from friends and fortune tellers.

What to do if a man does not concede and makes you to blame for everything?
What can you do? Change the man, he himself will hardly change. Find yourself a compliant person who is easy to make guilty for any reason. And by the way, did it ever occur to you that maybe you are really wrong? Not?

If he says he won't leave his wife?
I don’t understand you - a man tells you in plain text that he will never, under any circumstances, leave his wife for you. And you ask: "What does this mean?" This means that all your hopes and dreams of marrying him, having children, living in a family are just unrealizable fantasies! And note - your married lover tells you this directly and honestly, does not deceive. And you know what else? If you bother him with this question, he will leave you. Of course, he will leave you anyway when you bother him, but if you get it, it will happen very quickly.

Why the married man did not love his wife and did not leave her? What reason?
The reason is simple - your married lover hangs noodles on your ears. In the meantime, he lives quietly in the family and uses you with pleasure for sex and relaxation, for variety and pleasure! This is a standard scheme - to tell your mistress that you don’t love your wife, that you don’t sleep with your wife, that you’re about to leave her (option - you can’t leave because of the children), and in the meantime, calmly have both a wife and a mistress. And so - for years.

Should you tell your married lover that you want to see him more often?
And speak - do not speak, more often he will not come from these conversations. You must always remember that for a married man, a mistress is not in the first place, there are things for him that are much more important. And to talk - well, talk if you want, there will be no benefit or harm from this. But if you begin to express displeasure with the fact that he rarely comes, this is where a scandal can occur. Sometimes, after such statements, the lover stops coming at all. Much, of course, depends on what kind of person he is, what kind of relationship you have with him, but in general, married lovers do not like problems, they do not like it when their mistress forces them to do something and expresses displeasure. The only thing that can work here is if you try to make your meetings with your lover better, maybe then he will run to you more often. High-quality means more sex, more pleasure and fun, and no problems!

If a lover says don't call, I'll call myself according to the circumstances?
I translate: don’t call, don’t bother me, I don’t need you now, I have someone with me now. But when and if there is no one with you, then I myself will call you, set the time when you should be ready, I will come and fuck you. Now disappear!

How to get a married lover back after the first sex?
More precisely: after the first and last. such sex is also called "on one or two times." In your case, one. A married man just fucked you and immediately forgot, and you have already managed to think through the rest of your life with him, starting from his divorce from his wife and ending with the arrangement of furniture in your new, large and spacious apartment with him! And specifically on the question - why do you need a lover, who after each sex should be returned?

My lover doesn't say he loves me, does he just treat me well?
Or maybe not love, but just treats well. Although for some it is easier for a man to kill himself against a wall than to speak love words. And there are men who sing about love like a nightingale, but they don’t love anyone but themselves. Judge by deeds rather than words.

My lover listens to my advice and shares his pain. This is fine?
Of course it's okay. If your advice helps him, then good. Would not need advice - did not ask. Many men consult with their wives and mistresses on domestic issues, in which a woman is usually more oriented. And what sore shares - it means you have a close relationship with your lover and he perceives you as a loved one. Unless, of course, he shares this sore with everyone in a row - there is such a type of men, weak and weak-willed.

How to understand if a married lover loves?
It is very easy to understand whether a lover loves you or not. We must focus not on his words, but on his actions. Consider only his specific actions in relation to you and nothing else. Does he show his tenderness by action - caresses, hugs, kisses, or just seeks to quickly fill you up in bed and fuck you? Does he always call first to make an appointment, to ask about well-being, problems? Does he give gifts? Does it help with housework or financially? Does he always take your side in emerging life conflicts or leaves you to deal with your problems yourself. Well, and so on. Taking as a basis the actions and actions of your lover, and not his words, you will not let him deceive you and you will clearly see his true attitude towards you!
Always remember: Love is not words, but actions.

How long can a relationship with a married man last?
Much depends on the lovers themselves, especially on the woman. A smart and cautious lover can date her married lover for years without his wife knowing it. That is, a smart lover does not create problems for herself or her lover, receiving only positive and pleasure from communication with him. Married men value such mistresses, because they get only good sex, positive emotions and the joy of communication from communication with them. A love affair ends where the problems begin.

How to behave as a mistress when her lover (married) has cooled down to her?
It is necessary to part with such a lover. Not much but he is married, which means there are no prospects in terms of arranging his personal life with him, so he also "cooled down". Cooled down? Kick in the neck! You need a lover - you can easily find yourself a hot one, especially since married people do not scare you.
And it is better of course to find an unmarried man and marry him. Life is passing by.

Why do men immediately pull me into bed?
Well, firstly, because a man is so arranged - the sexual comes before everything else, and therefore a man first of all seeks to seize a woman sexually, this gives him confidence in his own significance for her. And secondly, you apparently belong to the type of women with whom there is simply nothing to do out of bed. If you suffer from the "What about talking?" syndrome, then you need to learn to use your sexual attractiveness as a bait, following which men will seek to win you over, instead of just to get into bed. This is not so difficult to do, and on our site there are articles on this topic in the Love category.

How to build a relationship with a married lover after 2 years, because the passion has passed?
Explain to me, why build any kind of relationship with a lover, and even a married one, when all passion for him has passed? Yes, you drive him in the neck! A lover is not a husband, it is to while away life with her husband, to raise children, to overcome difficulties to rejoice in joys ... And a lover for whom passion has passed is like a used condom. Throw away and forget. In this regard, take an example from men - they do the same with their mistresses.

When the wife is at home, the lover forgets me. Why?
Why, you yourself give your own question and answer - because the wife is at home! And when Zhenya is at home, he gets everything he needs from a woman from his wife - and love and affection, and care, and tenderness, and sex. And then he doesn't need you. Moreover, he does not want to offend his wife by meeting with you and spending time on you, which he can spend on his wife with much greater pleasure. And he does not want to risk his family well-being for the sake of sex with you (he doesn’t need more from you at all). In short, your lover needs you solely to relieve sexual tension when his wife is away on business. If he doesn't leave, he won't even remember you. See how simple it is? One has only to stop imagining God knows what about oneself and immediately everything becomes clear.

Is it worth it to put a lover in front of a choice?
Putting a lover before a choice - "either a wife or me" is possible only if you are ready that he will choose a wife and know exactly how to act in this case. And then after all, a woman, even if she is a wife, even a lover, putting an ultimatum like "she or I" in front of a man, assumes that he will choose her of course. In fact, for her, this is not an ultimatum, not a task with two solutions, but a requirement to confirm her own significance and value for this man. And a man really makes a choice and at the same time is guided by his own considerations. And a syndrome arises: "I put my lover (husband) in front of a choice, and he chose his wife (lover)."

A married lover assures that he does not sleep with his wife?
What is it, such men come across who assure their wife that they do not sleep with their mistress! Like, we meet - yes, but there is no sex! And you know what? Wives believe them just as you believe your married lover that he does not sleep with his wife. But the worst thing is that he generally has to lie to you that he does not sleep with his wife. The theme of his family life, and especially marital sex, should not have arisen in your relationship with him at all.

“He is so gentle and caring, so he loves me!” “He grumbles that his wife is lazy in bed, he will probably be better with me!” “He doesn’t want to go home, he’s probably more comfortable with me!” Do you recognize the train of thought? This is only part of the heap of considerations that every day, from dawn to dusk, swarm in the head of a married man's mistress. But there is another thought that we, lovers, undeservedly drive away. “Even if he is fine with me, this does not mean that he will leave his family for me.” Let's look at seven sure signs that your married lover will never trade the family hearth for you.

We are investigating

Well, we’ve arrived ... No matter how boring the phrase “you can’t build happiness on someone else’s misfortune”, no matter how your friends insist that you are a beauty and you will find a bachelor, but now you are dating a married man, and there is no strength to part with the object of passion. Fall in love to the point of exhaustion! When I fell into this trap, I immediately said to myself: “Well ... As long as there is patience, it is worth waiting. The main thing is not to give vent to hope and listen only to reason. And what does the mind and "experience of generations" say? Watching…

Your loved one is attentive to you before a date. But not after. You are probably a sexual outlet for him. Yes, a man is genuinely attracted to you. But only when he is not satisfied in a bored family bed. To verify this, pay attention to the number of calls and SMS messages from a fan when you make an appointment. And compare with how much he calls and writes to you the next day. And the tone? "My tender chick, my angel, I'm flying to you!" changed to “I arrived normally. Working". There are persistent suspicions that the boyfriend does not even think of considering you in the projection of a "long-playing" relationship. Like - yes, want - yes. But after sex it cools down quickly. So, it is unlikely that it will be possible to achieve deep feelings from a man.

He has everything planned. On the next vacation, your lover wants to go to China, the next - to Finland, and also "it would be nice to make repairs in the apartment." Of course, you can dream about the seas-oceans and plan repairs regardless of your legal spouse. But if the thought of leaving your wife for you occasionally creeps into your man’s head, it is unlikely that he will plan the future a year ahead. This means that the concept of “stability” is associated with his family, and you are unlikely to be able to get into the picture of the near or not very future, even in his fantasies.

Beloved is stingy with words of love. You lie in bed after a stormy leisure time and whisper tenderness to him. Of course, a romantic female nature is waiting for reciprocity! “Well, confess to me at least something, tell me that you like me, or at least I’m pretty,” your inner voice demands. And the man mutters: “Thanks, it was great.” You know what? Maybe you can read the words of tenderness in his eyes. And it may very well be that they are there! But confessing your feelings for you is a heavy cross for a married man who is not sure that he loves you more than his family. He is afraid to "give himself away." And he does it right! After making sure that your feelings are mutual, there is a great risk that you will go on the attack with sabers and a demand to move in with you. And the man, of course, is completely unprepared for this ...

The boyfriend has little interest in your life. Noticed? When it comes to sex, he is generous with epithets. “How do you want, where do you want, but can I make you like this? ..”. This illusion of interest in your inner world is quickly shattered by the harsh realities of life when you tell him that you are driving to another city late at night on a broken road, and upon arrival you do not receive an SMS “How did you get there?”. And he is not very concerned about the health of your child when you are at home on sick leave. Q.E.D! Your personality and your life for a lover is a secondary thing. If there is no way to have sex right now, why waste precious time?

Your existence is a mystery shrouded in darkness. Your boyfriend is in no hurry to take you out into the world - restaurants, movies, introduce you to friends. In principle, there is nothing shameful in getting out to a cozy cafe in the evening, especially if it is far from his home and places of intersection with friends. There is nothing wrong with walking around together, even if you have to introduce you as a “familiar” colleague who met unsuccessfully. But no! A lover does not seek to spend as much free time with you as possible in any setting. Using a guaranteed excuse - “we’d ​​better go to you” (cooing in a whisper in your ear). Of course, go, you want it too! But if this situation has been going on for several months in a row, think about it. Are you as important a part of his life as you would like to believe?

His interest in you is unstable. Probably a married lover visits you at regular intervals. Perhaps sometimes he is unexpectedly active in communication and also “for no apparent reason” calms down for a month. The reason for this is clear as day - the degree of tension in the family. Simply put, I quarreled with my wife - I remembered you. Reconciled - forgot. The truth of life is that the thoughts of a married man, as a rule, initially follow two paths. First: "Yes, I feel good with this woman, and it's a matter of time to go to her." Second: “No, I don’t plan to leave the family, but I just feel good, and I plan to use it for now.” In other words, a man will choose you only if he is deeply and consistently unhappy with his chosen one and honestly admits this to himself. But if, during the moments of truces with the legitimate half, adventurous thoughts about divorce leave without a trace, declare surrender. A radical change in the situation in the next 3-5-10 years is unlikely.

How long have you been together? Three months, a year or a quarter of a century? Psychologists call two dates for making a decision to change a friend of life - three months and a year. In the first three months of a relationship with mistresses, only those men who have long lost the desire to be a good family man leave. At home, plates fly into the wall every day, the wife throws tantrums for any reason, sex ended at a time when dinosaurs walked the Earth. If your guy is in this category, then your chances are great. But if everything is more or less peaceful at his house, most likely, this ghostly romance will drag on for up to a year. But now a year has passed, you maintain a close relationship, and it seems that the feelings of both have long been tested. But no! He packs swimming trunks and slippers and leaves for a family vacation. When this happens, you should have a serious talk with yourself. It will probably be the same next year.

Are you ready to spend precious youth on this man? Are you ready to celebrate the holidays alone? And look away, meeting a loved one in the park with a stroller, a smiling woman and mother-in-law. Will you survive the years of this pain? If yes, it remains to wish you good luck and patience. There are many examples of families breaking up. But this only happens if the marriage was doomed from the start. When two people simply did not match, did not understand each other, mutually cooled to the temperature of icebergs. But, fortunately (really, fortunately), a family is a conscious choice of two people in love, and betrayal is only a temporary intrigue in a crisis period of relations. Try to understand and accept it.

As for me, my relationship with a married lover after six months became very warm and strong. There was mutual support, and interest, and communication, and affection, and SMS from vacation. Everything except words of love and getting to know his friends. We really became close people. Therefore, the final conversation, when my beloved said: “I am missing something, but I am not ready to break off family relations,” I experienced relatively calmly. I will say more - I have more respect for men who do not leave their families for the sake of an affair on the side.

Many lovers are so secretive that a woman is lost in conjecture: what kind of feelings does he have for her?

It happens that a man says 40 times a day that he loves, but you do not believe him, and not at all because you are a suspicious bitch. At the same time, it is very important for you to know exactly "loves or does not love." Perhaps, in your opinion, this knowledge would help solve a number of problems:

Uncertainty about whether to continue the relationship (if he loves, then it’s worth it);

Will he leave you or is he truly in love (if he loves, then he won’t leave);

Is it possible to count on an expensive gift (if he loves, then he will buy);

Difficulties associated with leaving the family (if he loves, he will go to me or if he loves, then I will go to him), etc.

In general, it is vital for every mistress to know about His true feelings and intentions.

In fact, everything can be checked, there is one way. In a way, this is forbidden. Although I personally do not welcome this approach, sometimes its use is really necessary.

DECISION. Use this method carefully, do not overuse!

So, this is a game: come up with a fairy tale with a tragic situation and invite your man to finish it. It can be said that your second cousin on your mother's side was asked at school to come up with a fairy tale, and you have already broken your head and do not know what to come up with.

You compose the beginning of the fairy tale yourself in the context that you need. For example, if you want to know whether he will leave for you or not, your fairy tale will begin something like this:

"A young guy was fishing on the river bank. The fish was pecking well and the young man was in a wonderful mood. The catch was already big enough and the guy decided that he would catch the last fish. But suddenly he heard someone cry behind him. He looked around and saw a beautiful girl (you can take an image similar to you) She walked out of the grove and for some reason cried ...

Ask your lover to finish the story. You will see how he will respond: whether he will be distracted from what he loves at all, whether he will communicate with the girl or offer her help, or maybe he will not pay attention to her at all, etc.

You can enter additional conditions, for example, the words “and they lived happily ever after”, “love”, “legs” or “Baba Yaga” must be present at the end of the fairy tale.

You probably understood that the girl is your image, and the young man is the image of your lover. The fact is that unconsciously we play the way we behave in life.

Important: no matter what your lover says, in no case admit that you checked him. It is very important: this exercise should be carried out only when there is enough time and "eye to eye" in order to track external reactions.

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Not a single representative of the fair sex is immune from the situation when she is overtaken by love for a man who has already managed to marry another woman.

In such situations, numerous unforeseen questions arise and, of course, after each communication, excitement grows. How will the romantic story develop?

How to find out if a married man loves you and make sure of it? In addition, it is not always possible to immediately understand how high the chances of developing a romantic relationship become, not to mention the opportunity to stay together ...

Signs that a married man is in love

There are several signs that a married man really has an interest in another person.

Communication

Married men behave differently with girls who have managed to please them. It all depends on the nature of the representative of the stronger sex. On the question of how to find out whether a married man truly loves you or not, you need to understand one serious limitation that exists - a stamp in your passport.

Attention from a married man does not always mean something serious

It is possible that restrictions will be noted in communication, which sooner or later will lead to reasonable suspicions.

If a man is not ready to betray his wife, any contact will be prevented

Sometimes, after all, a married man is not ready to deal with his feelings, the existing cravings. In this situation, he is ready to act openly with his chosen one. Such manifestations of love can be dismissive., it's not so easy to admit that the wife no longer causes any interest. However ... you can’t get away from feelings, so sometimes romantic notes begin to appear more and more often and sincerely.

Man's behavior

Sooner or later, actions betray the true attitude of a married man towards his mistress. Interested in how to find out if a married man loves you, you need to understand that Can't hide real feelings...

If a girl needs help, a man will find a way to contribute to the successful solution of an existing issue. Even if there is a desire to prevent contacts, help will be provided indirectly, through other people.

Body language and gestures

In many situations, true feelings are manifested in gestures that are not so easy to control. Many girls try to understand how to find out if a married man loves you or just has a passion for you, they forget that body language becomes an amazing discovery of the meaning of all actions.

What features to pay attention to?

• long stares- this is the first and very shy step of two people in love who are still trying to fight what is emerging between them ...
• You can follow the fleeting movements of the eyebrows. If a man is in love with a girl, he will make an involuntary movement of his eyebrows for one second.
• Every man tries to look irresistible in front of a girl. which interests him. For this reason, he will straighten his shoulders, raise his head and draw in his stomach. All this will testify to the desire to please.
• Classic intimate gesture- placing the thumbs behind the trouser belt. Sometimes a man can keep one hand on his hips or sit on a chair, stretching his legs. Such changes indicate that he is trying to show his physical strength and willingness to be with a girl.
• The desire for intimacy often manifested by the fact that a man gently takes a girl by her hand or accidentally touches her hair. Such gestures ensure that a man is pleased to be around, so he wants to prolong this pleasure.

Even if communication turns out to be unnecessarily strained, it is recommended to take care to pay special attention to gestures and think about why a married man behaves a little playfully ...

Signs of attention from a man

Important fact! Signs of attention that can come from a man say a lot. In the initial period of communication or romantic relationships, it is possible to understand how the situation is in reality.

If everything calmed down and became commonplace, there will be no chance for positive changes.

Men show their attention in different ways, because not all of them are ready for cardinal changes in life and active rapprochement with a girl. Only free guys are ready to take care of the girls passionately, trying to successfully cope with the tasks.

A married man can offer help in a friendly or sympathetic way.

In fact, if the marriage is not going as well as we would like, the chances of starting a romantic relationship are significantly increased.

Perhaps, after all, there will be a transition to the romantic stage of communication with a further perspective ... But you should not think so far, because you first need to understand how to find out if a married man loves you.

The girl, despite her status as a potential lover, retains good opportunities to try to get close to her beloved man. If a man tries to help in difficult situations, encourage and inspire, you don’t need to act recklessly, immediately showing your interest.

How to understand the intentions of a married man

The first and most important task is to try to understand the true intentions of a married man. To do this, it is advisable to start with friendship, having your chosen one to learn more about the relationship with his wife, to understand what their marriage is and whether there are problems.

A long look indicates a clear interest

If you managed to find out about the married status of a new acquaintance right away, it is recommended to end any relationship. Otherwise, the question may arise, how to find out just having fun, or the answer about whether a married man loves you will be joyful and encouraging.

Carefully! Of course, there are cases where marriages break down after the love passes and people make a serious decision to break up. However, many situations confirm that the man did not even plan his divorce at first.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to 100% know the thoughts and desires of another person, but it is possible and necessary to try to predict the development of the situation.

If, nevertheless, the relationship is laid down and promises to be happy, you won’t have to wait long for a divorce.. Nothing good should be expected if a man is constantly looking for numerous excuses and does not even strive to take a serious and decisive step.

It's very frustrating to listen to all the new excuses and excuses every time.

Relationships can be given a chance, but only up to a certain point, because sooner or later it becomes clear that nothing good will happen.

Is it necessary to build a relationship with a married man

Life is an unpredictable thing, therefore it is impossible to give an unambiguous answer regarding relations with a married man. In any case, such a romantic relationship promises to be dubious. The woman will be judged by other people who will not approve of trying to take someone else's husband away from his wife.

Doubt and uncertainty are unpleasant moments of such a romantic connection.

Interesting fact! If a man cheats on his wife and takes active steps in a relationship with his mistress, we can assume that there are serious problems in family life. For example, womanizers cannot live without new relationships, and a husband disappointed with life is not ready to be faithful to his wife.

However, sometimes relationships have a perspective, because forced marriage or early marriage can collapse quite often.

How to build relationships

If a girl nevertheless decides on a relationship with a married man and values ​​them, she needs to know how to behave with him correctly.

What can and should be done

• First of all, it is recommended to understand that relationships are built on the positive and the absence of conflicts and quarrels. For this reason, it is recommended to adhere to the correct tactics with a married man.
• It is desirable to enjoy relationships at the beginning, without thinking about the future. Pleasure can be obtained from romance and sex. Of course, it is advisable to treat your personal future with respect, so it is undesirable to delay communication without prospects for a long time.
• The personal time of a married man cannot be claimed, as it becomes a valuable gift for his family.

• Aggression can destroy any romance, so it is advisable to control the mood.
• A lover cannot be forbidden anything. Even if a man decides to meet with friends, his decision must be respected.
• Patience can be valuable. If a girl is interested in how to find out if a married man loves you, it is best to gradually bring him to the need for a divorce. Only tact and understanding of the current situation will help to maintain relations.

What not to do

How can one not behave if there is a desire to maintain the existing relationship as long as possible?

• the spouse of the beloved cannot be criticized or blamed, trying to emphasize his leadership;
• you should not tell your friends about the secret, because no one from outsiders should know about the relationship;
• you can not abuse whims;
• you can not put pressure on the chosen one and demand a divorce;
• it is not recommended to impose your society on a man.

Relations between lovers will be happy and promising only if both parties find a particle of happiness in what they can build or destroy.

Communication with a married man: love or problems?

Many girls are ready to be mistresses of married men, but at the same time, the question regarding the prospects for relationships continues to remain open. You need to understand that only the person who finds himself in a love triangle has the opportunity to make his final choice and put everything in its place.

Mistresses often worry about a shared future with their lover, so they are not always ready to maintain a romantic union for a long time.

Is it worth becoming part of a love triangle - you decide

Before you set the perspective, you need to understand the features of marriage. Most often, men in whose relationship problems are noted, they decide to cheat.. If cosiness and comfort always reign at home, there is a happy and loving wife, nothing bad will happen. The only exceptions are the womanizers.

For this reason, it is necessary not only to understand how to find out whether a passionately and truly married man loves you or not, it is advisable to analyze the situation from all sides, and then make the right decision regarding the relationship.

Perhaps you still need to give a chance for romantic feelings, which over time can only become stronger?

What should a girl do if she falls in love with a married man? Watch video tips:

Get an expert's opinion on the meaning of a relationship with a married man from the following video:

Life is unpredictable, and you never know which side it will turn to you. They say that life should not be taken too seriously, that for each person the path that he is destined to go is already written, but no one says at the moment of making a decision what kind of choice a person should make.

Every person wants attention, care and love, and for many years everyone spends looking for that person with whom they want to live their whole lives. However, then years pass, and these first feelings go somewhere, being absorbed by household trifles and insults. Someone from this goes to work, someone begins to invest everything in children, and someone - to look for feelings around him. This is expressed in new relationships. For some, it's just a sexual relationship, but for someone it becomes the meaning of life. And at some certain moment the question arises of how to make the right choice between a husband and a lover, because so much is at stake, public opinion means so much. However, this is not the only thing. How to understand yourself and decide what is really more important at the moment and what kind of life you want to choose for yourself today, now.#How to hint a guy at a wedding#

Many women still cannot decide, moving from husband to lover and back. This is due to the fact that sooner or later the lover turns into a person who is nearby not for several hours, but for a long time, and turns out to be a person with negative habits, not only that gallant boyfriend who gives romance. Meanwhile, by that time, a lot connects with her husband, because relations with him go through the stages of relations from the first to the last.#Secrets of female sexuality#

They say that a man and a woman are two halves that are designed to complement each other. However, a woman has a lover, and this turns out to be a love triangle in which she needs both men, because they are half of the ideal man for her. It is often not clear from a lover what true feelings he is experiencing, and therefore a woman is afraid that she will leave her husband and be unnecessary to her lover.

In order to think about the option of leaving the family, you need to be sure that a man needs a woman.

How to find out about the feelings of a lover

In order to figure out how to find out if a lover loves you, you need to follow a few points.

1. One might wonder find out how your lover treats you, test contains several questions that can tell a woman his true attitude. It is common for a woman to ignore signs of neglect from a man, putting on rose-colored glasses and not taking them off until it is too late to change anything.
2. A man who has serious feelings for a woman will try to enter the circle of her close people, to find a common language with them. It is important for him to make a good impression on people close to her, whose opinion matters to her.
3. However, one has only to become more attentive to the behavior of a man, and everything will become clearer. The signs of love are always the same, whether a man is a lover or a husband, a boyfriend or a married man.
4. Sometimes it is enough to look into the eyes of a man to understand how he treats a woman. The look of a man in love displays warmth and comfort, but does not burn.
5. For a man, the sexual part of the relationship is of great importance, but if this is the main thing for a man, then after sex the man cools off towards the woman.
6. We are talking about feelings when there is interest on the part of a man, that is, he is interested in how her day went, he himself is looking for a meeting, and this is not always associated with intimacy.
7. Getting to know friends and relatives is another important step when a man lets a woman close to him, allowing the people around him to judge her.
   Caring for a woman can tell her a lot. If, first of all, he thinks that everything is fine with her, then this says a lot. After all, a woman is more sensitive, that is, a man is less inclined to express feelings and may even be embarrassed by this. But the feeling of care cannot be hidden, so this is a good sign of love.#How to understand that a girl wants to break up#
8. How to know if your lover loves you test will only help if you answer his questions objectively.
9. In a relationship, a man may want to give a woman gifts. You don't have to give them up. Of course, if the question arises, how to persuade a lover to buy me shoes, then this may take some time, because if a man is not set up for this, then there is no need to insist. Family budget and purchases can discourage sponsoring a mistress until she inspires sufficient confidence. After all, in the end, a man needs attention and love, selfless feelings.

How to make a lover jealous

The essence of a woman is that in order to feel like a caring man, she needs to arouse his jealousy. This is not easy in a lover situation, as he also has another life that does not concern her.

However, the lover must understand that just as one man appeared in her life, another one may appear. This can be hinted at by talking coquettishly with other men. If a man has feelings for a woman, often this is some sense of ownership, then he will even recognize an ordinary conversation, as if the question arises, how to make a lover jealous, then you need to, without going beyond the rules of decency, nevertheless, activate the feelings of your man .

1. In order to make a man jealous, you can talk on the phone, going into another room. Sooner or later, this will cause questions from the lover, and with them anxiety.
2. In any case, you should not forget about yourself, buying new things, cosmetics and underwear, showing off in front of a mirror.
3. A man becomes involved when a woman becomes dependent on him. Meanwhile, it will be useful to make a man worry and not pick up the phone after the first call. This will solve the question of how to find out if the lover has feelings, because if they are, the man will try in every possible way to capture the attention of the lover.
4. Leave room for mystery. If earlier a woman used to tell a man about what happened during the day, then you need to leave room for a mystery.
5. The lover gets used to the fact that a woman can devote all her free time to him. However, you need to let him know that the relationship does not happen then and not the way he wants. A woman can have a lot of hobbies and activities that are not related to him. You need to try to discover the world of free time for yourself, and then not only the man will be jealous, but the woman will also have time and the opportunity to observe the relationship from the outside.
6. An effective way would be to praise his friend. Many men seek favor with his friends, although this is not at all necessary and relationships with a man do not mean friendship with all his relatives and friends.

How to know if your lover is good with you

If you want to know how to know if a lover is good with you, then you have to wait a certain amount of time. Immediately after the start of a relationship, a man cannot decide what feelings and emotions he experiences in relation to her.

Asking questions will get you nowhere. If a man is married, then he has someone to ask questions, and he is looking for something else in a woman. She must be patient and understand what attracted him to this woman. After a while, when the adaptation period passes, he will definitely say what he likes the most, what attracts him.

A man who likes a certain woman will find time to call her, to meet. He is sincerely interested in her life, and not only talks about his successes.

Often a man begins to look for feelings on the side when monotony sets in in his sexual life. A woman with a lover is freed from conventions and can act more relaxed, experimenting with her body and behaving more relaxed.

Men do not like to feel weak, and from their point of view, this is expressed in men talking about their problems. Therefore, you need to listen carefully at this moment. This will add significance to the woman in his eyes.

A good lover does not load a man with her problems. Lack of responsibilities and attracts such a relationship. Over time, relationships develop, and partners may begin to make demands and claims on each other. You need to try to maintain ease in a relationship, and then a woman will certainly like a man.

How to know the intentions of a lover

When choosing between a husband and a lover, a woman must know where she is going. How to know the intentions of a lover? In this matter, you need to focus on the very beginning of the relationship. If a man and a woman were interested in each other primarily as a person, then the likelihood of attachment is more likely.

If initially the relationship was built on sex, then such men often choose the main thing in the relationship from this side.

That man who does not have serious intentions can talk about your future in vain from the first meeting and promise mountains of gold. This may indicate his desire to powder her head. Acquaintance can occur in the same way as between unmarried people.

Such a man will carefully listen to the interlocutor and be interested in her life. When the question arises what feelings does a lover have for you, it means he has found a response to your soul.

A man who is interested in further relationships will seek a relationship with such a woman. Meetings will be more frequent, have the character of communication, joint walks, and not just secret meetings.

Much can be understood from the conversation of a man. Of course, pressure on a man in the form of questions about whether he is going to get a divorce or whether he loves her will not lead to anything good. The conditions of communication most often do not change, so initially you should not count on anything. You can initially find out from a man what character their relationship will be, on what conditions, then it will be easier for a woman not to build illusions about them.