Anyone had a midlife crisis? How to survive a midlife crisis: advice from a psychologist. How long does a midlife crisis last?

A midlife crisis always creeps up unexpectedly. You turn 30 or 35 and suddenly depression is on the horizon. You want changes, because it seems that life is almost over and old age is just around the corner. How to get rid of these intrusive thoughts? Read below.

What is a midlife crisis?

This is a condition that appears in men and women in the middle of their life path. The midlife crisis marks a new phase in your life. Usually it comes along with the next birthday. A person involuntarily thinks about age, then looks at himself in the mirror and suddenly realizes that his appearance is slowly starting to change. Wrinkles appear, the figure swims and it seems that nothing good in life awaits you. What is a midlife crisis? approaching death. A person understands that most of his goals and plans have not become a reality, and the allotted time may not be enough to make his dream come true. Some people may realize that they live with someone they don't love, go to boring jobs, and have never traveled abroad. At this turning point, a person can choose several paths. He will either begin to realize long-established goals, or succumb to depression and begin to engage in self-flagellation. And then, for the sake of self-affirmation, he can start buying expensive toys that he cannot afford. It can be cars, apartments or a widescreen TV. But such a thoughtless amount of loans does not help a person feel better, but only exacerbates the problems even more.

Is there a crisis for everyone?

No, not all people are affected by this problem. Some may live happily into retirement and never know what a midlife crisis is. Why do some suffer and others don't? People who know how to set goals and achieve what they want, those who have a family and children in time, those who know how to get along with others, will be able to avoid problems. The midlife crisis affects people with low self-esteem who are used to putting off life until later. It always seems to such people that tomorrow will come, and on this mythical day everything can change. And today you can relax and watch TV. Miracles don't happen. So you have to pay for laziness and apathy with psychological problems. If a person has not achieved anything by the middle of his life path, and there is a certain imbalance in the life spheres, then problems will not take long to wait.

Symptoms

A midlife crisis is not a disease. Some people consider it even a normal life phenomenon. But it's not. A crisis is a state into which a person falls who does not solve the accumulated psychological problems for a long time. If you settle everything in time, go to a psychotherapist or independently find solutions to difficult life situations, then problems will be easily avoided. But so rarely do our compatriots. Do you know at least one person who goes to a psychotherapist? Unlikely. Even if your friend signs up for such a session, he will be ashamed to tell others that he needed help.

The accumulated problems do not find a way out day after day. And any little thing can be the last straw. But still, if you replace the symptoms in time, you can not bring your condition to a crisis. If you study yourself well, you can even conduct psychotherapy on your own.

What are the symptoms of a midlife crisis in women and men?

• dissatisfaction with their appearance
• lack of entertainment
• quarrels with your partner
• dissatisfaction with children
• misunderstanding at work
• lack of sports in life.

If you are now about 30, then you should notice all your breakdowns. They show your weaknesses. If you quarrel with your husband every day, then think about why there are quarrels? Perhaps you want to attract the attention of a man in this way? Or maybe you want to assert yourself? Find the true problem of the conflict and deal with it.

Causes of the Crisis

You have understood the symptoms of the problem, now you need to understand the causes. One of the most common in men is dissatisfaction with life. Everyone wants to do what they love, achieve a position in society and have an interesting social circle. And if a person does not achieve this, he begins to stress. The causes of the midlife crisis in women are the absence of a family and children. Every girl dreams of a big and friendly family. And if a woman could not give birth before the age of 40, the chances of doing this in the future are reduced to zero. For many, this is what constitutes psychological trauma. At the age of 30, it seemed to the girls that they first needed to take up a career, and the family could be relegated to the background. And then it turned out that work at night does not heat. Men are the least worried about unborn children. After all, they can fertilize a woman even at 60 years old.

Aging can be another cause of a midlife crisis. Because of the change in appearance, not only women, but also men are experiencing. After all, they understand that the peak of their physical activity has already passed, and now, in order to maintain a good shape, you need to make two or even three times more effort than before.

Treatment

What is the cure for a midlife crisis and at what age does it strike a person? Each individual has his own psychology, his complexes and principles. Therefore, the midlife crisis begins differently for everyone. For some, it can start at 30. This is not uncommon for people who grew up without parents. Due to the lack of warmth and support in childhood, various complexes can develop that will make a person aware of themselves only at a conscious age. If a person grew up in a normal family, the crisis will overtake him in the period from 35 to 40. At this time, if a person has not achieved success in all areas of life, she will begin to have problems and depression. It will seem that the world has become gray and it would be time to change something. But psychologists say that no matter how a person tries to run away from himself, this will not work. So if it seems to you that moving from Moscow to the Maldives will correct the situation, then this is only an illusion. You have to deal with yourself. And if you can't do it, you need to go to a specialist.

How to survive a midlife crisis? You need to find a purpose in life. Write down your childhood desires and hobbies and renew them. Nobody will judge you for this. If you lack emotions - jump with a parachute or go horseback riding. If your personal life is still not arranged, start dating. Try to find a balance between home, work, family, friends, sports, entertainment and self-development. And if you succeed, then you can consider that you successfully got out of the crisis.

Or maybe leave the family?

The midlife crisis in men after 40 is often associated with such a question. It seems to a man that another woman can make him happier. But the question you should ask yourself is this: why does my wife not suit me? If a man could live peacefully with a woman for 10 years, it means that she suited him perfectly. Leaving a family is a difficult decision. It cannot be taken lightly. Especially if there are children. A man should be clearly aware of what exactly he wants to find in a new relationship? Passion, tenderness, mutual understanding or love? First you need to talk to your wife. Maybe she misses it too. You can always leave. First you need to try to save the marriage. And if nothing can be done already, then parting will be the best solution.

Women's midlife crisis is a little different than men's. The fair sex is more phlegmatic, so ruining a marriage is quite easy for them. Especially this decision is easily made by ladies who have already managed to acquire a lover. It seems to a woman that a new man will love her forever, that passion cannot disappear. But it should be understood that until a person changes himself, he will attract the same people with the same characters and views of the world.

Will changing the image help?

How does a midlife crisis manifest itself after 30? Symptoms in women can be as follows: they look in the mirror and see the first wrinkles, gray hair, age spots on the skin. All of this brings to mind the approaching old age. But no woman wants to grow old. Therefore, many decide at this age for plastic surgery. They do a facelift, they can even change the shape of the nose or lips. It seems to them that their life did not work out because of some external shortcomings, and not because of internal complexes. What's the point of changing your hairstyle or hair color if it doesn't change your thoughts? Of course, for some people it is easier to tune in to the fact that a new life must necessarily begin with external changes. But remember: nothing in life will change until you change.

What to do if a husband has a midlife crisis and he begins to look younger? Pay your attention to it. After all, men, like women, always want to look prettier for the opposite sex. Therefore, the wife should be the first to appreciate the efforts of a man. After all, if a close woman does not do this, there will be someone on the side who can appreciate the efforts.

Take care of your health

How to treat midlife crisis in men? By the age of 35, the body begins to lose its former shape and strength. And in order not to be horrified, looking at yourself in the mirror, you need to play sports. This will help avoid many health problems. And most importantly, people who go in for sports think more soberly and in an original way. The flow of oxygen and blood to the brain helps improve cognitive abilities. Sports are also a great way to kind of meditate. In this state, it is difficult to think or engage in self-flagellation. After all, you need to focus on breathing and count the approaches to the sports equipment. After a workout, no person feels bad, at least mentally. Therefore, if you do not know what to do or how to improve your life, feel free to go to the gym.

What to do after a midlife crisis? Never stop your workouts. Don't take fitness as medicine. Think of sports as an integral part of life. Then it will be easier to go to the gym.

Children are the flowers of life

Think about why you came into this world. Right, to fulfill your mission in life. But you will die someday. And in order to pass on your accumulated knowledge and experience, you need to think about children. They are what make life complete. Yes, you can’t make a child the meaning of your life and the center of the universe. But it is the children who will brighten up your old age and bring a glass of water when you are no longer able to get up. Therefore, in order to avoid a midlife crisis, think about children at 28. And if you give birth to your first child before 30, perhaps psychological problems will bypass you. You don’t have to wind yourself up and envy married couples with children.

And what are the symptoms of a midlife crisis in men over 40? At this age, a man understands that children are part of his life. And if they are, he begins to take an active part in their development. But earning children's attention and love is sometimes not easy. Especially if the guys rarely see dad. Therefore, a man can become depressed because his own children do not love him. In order not to look for an answer to the question of how to earn the sympathy of a child, you should pay attention to your child from his very birth.

Prevention

In order not to think about what a man should do after a midlife crisis, you should, having felt his symptoms, immediately begin to solve the problem. What to do prevention? You should do a little exercise. Draw a circle and divide it into those areas of life that seem important to you. It can be family, work, self-development, friends, love, sports, etc. Now put a dot in each sector. It should be closer to the middle, the less attention you pay to this area. Then connect the dots. Don't worry if you end up with a tarantula instead of a circle. Your job is to get your life in order. If you do not take care of your health, sign up for a massage or a pool, if you do not pay attention to your family, stop working in the evenings. Do this exercise every week and you will always know what area of ​​your life needs more attention.

To always feel confident, you need to work with your self-esteem. Many people manage to live a whole life without experiencing any pleasure from life itself. It is clear that in such a situation, a midlife crisis will not be long in coming. If a person spends at least every weekend interestingly, going on trips, gathering with friends, getting out into the forest, then he will not get the impression that life is passing by. But if a person spends his free evenings and all his weekends watching TV, then it will not be difficult to understand what threatens this person at the age of 30 along with obesity.

Learn to do everything ahead of time. This will help you a lot in life. If you don't get exhausted all the time because you're doing a project at the last minute, you'll have time to spend alone with your thoughts. Do you find it difficult? Yes, organizing your life can sometimes be difficult. But when you are in control of everything that happens, calmly making some adjustments that will always appear, it will be easier to keep track of what is happening around you. In this way, it will be easy to develop the habit of analyzing. And this skill will help you sort out all your problems in a proven way.

When mentioning the phrase "transitional age", the vast majority of people correlate it with adolescence. Moreover, the associations are not the most rosy. As a rule, this period of life is associated with a large number of difficulties related both to the teenager himself and to the people around him, and especially to his parents. However, the expression "transitional age" can be applied to another period - the middle age. In this case, it would be called a midlife crisis that affects both men and women. For some, it flows almost imperceptibly, for others, on the contrary, it is very difficult. At this moment, a person is forced to solve many problems, only this time his parents will not come to his aid, primarily because adults prefer to cope with their difficulties on their own.

What is a midlife crisis

First of all, it should be emphasized that a midlife crisis is not a whim, not a temporary blues, and not a manifestation of a bad character. This is a combination of psycho-emotional and physiological states, based on objective changes in a person's life. In women, this period usually falls on 35-40 years. In some cases, the crisis may come earlier or, conversely, later than the average norm.

In order to overcome this period of time correctly and as less painfully as possible, it is necessary to treat it as an adolescent transition period that comes and goes for everyone. The relationship of psychological and physiological changes in middle-aged women is expressed in the following symptoms:

• There is weakness, indifference to what is happening, unwillingness to do anything, which can be mistaken for laziness. A woman irresistibly wants to be in peace and quiet. Even when fatigue is not observed, she tends to lie down, watch a movie or read. She does not want to visit or even just walk. Former hobbies do not attract her as before. She strives for the most passive rest. Moreover, deep down she feels some kind of longing, even if she manages to secure such a pastime for herself.
• Quite often during this period, depressive states roll over a woman. It seems to her that life is already halfway over, only sunset and early old age are ahead. It may even seem that life has been lived in vain. At the thought that all the best is behind, despair seizes. There is no desire, no strength, no sense to do anything, plan, fight. A woman has a feeling that she is overboard in life.
• Grown-up children, whose lives, on the contrary, are in full swing, exacerbate this feeling of loneliness and meaninglessness even more. Now they do not seem to need maternal care or are even burdened by it. Frequent changes in a woman's mood complicate relationships with children and other people in general. She gets the feeling that no one needs her, that others live their lives (much more complete than hers, as it seems to her), that if she disappears, those around her will not immediately notice her absence. The woman begins to feel sorry for herself. If there are no children at all, then despair, loneliness and a sense of the meaninglessness of one's existence is felt even more acutely.
• Relationships with your husband during this period can be very complicated. Depression, weakness, unwillingness to do anything, dissatisfaction with one's appearance - all this leads to additional conflicts. If a man at the same time does not show sufficient understanding and tact, taking the midlife crisis for female whims, then the likelihood of a break will increase. You should also not forget that the men's crisis can coincide in time with the women's, and this is an even more dangerous situation.
• During this period, a woman begins to experience anxiety from external transformations. No matter how hard she tries, or looks after herself, time takes its toll. Signs of impending withering, loss of external beauty can lead to despair. Accustomed to signs of attention from the opposite sex, a woman suffers from the fact that now men often pass by her without even looking. She begins to feel unattractive, ugly, old. For this reason, sometimes women begin to behave differently in public. They stoop, lower their eyes, stop smiling, look uncertainly, even hunted.
• The fading of beauty so hurts a woman that she begins to make desperate attempts to add to her attractiveness. In some cases, this is limited to a change in hairstyle, hair color, a new diet, or additional beauty treatments. In more complex cases, a woman can act on the verge of eccentricity. A radical change of image, ridiculous elements of clothing suitable only for teenagers, flashy makeup, etc. And attracting male attention at any cost. During this period, a woman can go for a frequent change of sexual partners, especially if the situation favors it.
• By this time, hormonal disruptions that occur in the body of every woman at a certain age may begin to appear. Especially if she does not have regular sexual intercourse. Against the background of these failures, the state of health worsens, external beauty suffers even more, mood changes especially often. Deep depressive states can be replaced by a sharp rise in mood, a thirst for activity, unmotivated fun. However, this inspiration, as a rule, is extremely short-lived, again giving way to despondency and sadness. Not only the woman herself usually suffers from such changes, but, first of all, her family members.
• Another sign of a midlife crisis is self-digging, and often self-eating. A woman begins to rethink her life, remember mistakes and missed opportunities. At such moments, it seems to her that her whole life has not been lived at all as it should be. That if at one time she had chosen another job / man / social circle, then everything would have been just wonderful, otherwise her life is one big mistake. A feeling of envy for other women rises, as well as irritation with an unsuspecting husband. And even the good luck and happy moments that have surfaced in her memory make her sad, because they are gone and will never return.

Even if a woman understands that her condition is nothing more than a midlife crisis, it can be difficult for her to cope with it. Things are much more complicated with those who believe that all the sensations described above are completely objective, moreover, they are based on the actions of quite real culprits (usually close relatives and friends). Often at this moment in the depths of the soul there is resentment against the parents, anger at the husband and annoyance at oneself.

The most mature decision in this case is a visit to a psychologist. After all, it is not surprising that specialists work with adolescents during the transitional age. In addition, parents, teachers, etc. help them. Why, under such circumstances, does an adult prefer to be completely alone? Of course, you can survive this period on your own, suppressing various negative impulses and thoughts with an effort of will. But, perhaps, it is possible to deal with these problems easier if you entrust them to a professional.

In this case, each person makes his own choice. If a woman feels that her crisis does not entail concrete (tangible) changes for the worse, then perhaps there really is no cause for concern. The following reasons can be the basis for anxiety and an appeal to a psychologist:

• frequent conflicts at work and at home interfere with life;
• there is an irresistible desire to divorce her husband;
• quarrels with children on the verge of breaking up relations;
• thoughts of suicide appear;
• there was an intention to quit the job despite the fact that the alternative to it is either doubtful or absent;
• you are seriously thinking about packing your suitcase and leaving to live somewhere else forever.

Even if you prefer to deal with your problems on your own, despite the presence of objectively serious difficulties, try at least not to commit acts that radically change your life. And often remind yourself that this unpleasant period will definitely end. It is better to live it with all the depth of understanding, even love it, since it is an integral part of life, and if possible, even spend it productively.

How to behave during this time

With the right attitude and competent actions, the midlife crisis will pass without any complications. It’s good if you manage to enlist the support of your husband - in this case, you may not feel half of the unpleasant symptoms at all. And even if you don’t have to rely on anyone’s support, don’t despair, take everything into your own hands.

First, do not be shy about your desires, and sometimes even indulge them if it is not harmful. For example, when laziness attacks, allow yourself to sit back. Lie on the couch, watch your favorite movies, give up your household chores for a while - they will never end anyway. Try to enjoy it, because you have already done enough for the family and others, you can finally waste time.

Secondly, try to find an activity that will be pleasant on the one hand, and useful on the other. Even a small goal will cheer you up when it is achieved. For example, it's never too late to start learning to sew or play the guitar. If you don’t feel like doing even that, devote your free time to taking care of yourself. Find new body and facial care products, take relaxing baths and other pleasant treatments. This will not only give pleasure, but also positively affect the appearance, which is very important especially during this period.

If you have the opportunity to have a child, then this will be the most effective tool against a midlife crisis. Therefore, if such an opportunity exists, by all means use it. Your whole life will change dramatically. And the reason is not only in emotional, but also in physiological changes. In fact, a woman with the onset of pregnancy comes a second youth. This state brings back the time when a woman is young and full of plans for the future. In addition, a meaning appears in life, in comparison with which any crisis is just a trifle that does not deserve attention.

The worries that accompany the birth of a child leave no room for other experiences. In addition, the birth of a baby can be a salvation for a husband who is also affected by age-related emotional changes. Overnight, you will turn from mature spouses into young parents. You will be surrounded by people with similar interests and concerns, and raising a child will become the meaning of your coexistence.

If you do not have the opportunity to give birth to a child, then you should not give up in this case. Pay attention to your health, especially women's. If problems in this respect are corrected, it will give you confidence and improve your mood. Do not allow yourself to relax in matters of appearance. Do not leave the house without makeup and hair. Even at home, try to look well-groomed and beautiful. This will also add confidence. Thanks to this, it will be possible to get rid of the desire to lower your eyes and stoop. When a woman looks flawless, carries herself proudly, smiles and likes herself, she attracts the attention of others, no matter how old she is.

And finally, remember that 35-40 years for a woman is still quite a young and wonderful age. At 20 you can look young, at 25 you can look beautiful, and at 40 you can look truly luxurious. Every age has its charm. And how beautiful your current one is will become clear many years later. Therefore, it is better not to postpone the realization of this until later, but to enjoy this beautiful time right now. And do not remember the past too often, for this the time will come. Now you need to live in the future, because there are so many happy days ahead!

- Middle age crisis
- Tipping point in middle age in men
- Lack of middle age in women
— Main causes of SWR
- symptoms of a crisis
How to overcome a midlife crisis for a woman
How can I help my husband overcome his midlife crisis?
- How to save a marriage during crises with spouses?
- Conclusion

Middle age crisis - a long-term emotional state () associated with a reassessment of one's experience in middle age, when many of the opportunities that a person dreamed of in childhood and adolescence are already irretrievably missed (or seem to be missed), and the onset of one's own old age is assessed as an event with a very real time (not "sometime in the future").

Midlife crisis is a term that characterizes a difficult emotional and psychological period of life for both men and women. During this period, a person begins to rethink his life, draw conclusions, and most often this happens with a very negative connotation, accompanied by depression, opposition to everything, and many other actions that were not even inherent before. Because of this, this period is called a crisis, as a person experiences a deep personal crisis.

In men and women, the midlife crisis most often manifests itself at the age of 35-45 - this, as a rule, but, nevertheless, this period can come at 50 years, because each human body is purely individual. Based on medical statistics, women experience a midlife crisis earlier, they experience it somewhere at the age of 35, when men are more close to 40. That is why this crisis is of middle age, since it occurs in middle age, approximately at 40 years.

As for the duration of the midlife crisis, then again, for each person this period has its own duration. For some, this period can last from several months to a year, and for someone even a whole decade. Everything will depend not only on the individual characteristics of a person, but also on his past, position in society, career, family atmosphere, support, etc.

Tipping point in middle age in men

For men, SWR is usually associated with reaching a certain ceiling in a career (or, conversely, with the understanding that the desired heights will never be reached). As a result - apathy, depression, lack of motivation. A healthy way out of the crisis is the setting of new tasks and striving for new meanings.

In a woman, SWR is usually associated with hormonal changes and the understanding that very soon she will no longer be able to give birth to offspring, just a couple more years - and that's it.

It is at this age that women desperately want to have a baby (or another baby) and are willing to pay almost any price for it.

The direction of the female crisis may be somewhat different than that of men. For many women in this time is characterized by the desire for creativity, which has a magical variability.

Creative thirst can also be expressed as:

People who have a difficult period during this period may experience:

- dissatisfaction with life, with their own style, despite the fact that all their lives they were satisfied and happy with everything;

- boredom, fatigue from everything and everyone;

- resentment and doubts whether they are there, whether they are with that, bitterness from a lived marriage;

- the desire for a new love or connection;

— understanding the need for change;

- a feeling of embarrassment from yourself, work and life;

- inability to make specific decisions.

The causes of the midlife crisis can be caused not only by the internal experiences of a person, but also by external factors. For example, a person may experience stress that enhances emotional sensations, or a problem from a distant childhood that he did not know about before may come to the surface.

There are some other causes of the midlife crisis due to external factors, for example, a very serious one is debt. If a person has a lot of loans, and in our time this is very important, but there is no way to pay, then it is very easy to fall into a protracted depression. And it happens that only a specialist is able to get out of this difficult state. Seek help, otherwise solving the problem will be very painful for both you and the family.

The loss of a close relative may also be an external cause of a midlife crisis, sometimes a person is unable to cope with such grief. If a loved one was a support, then there may be a loss of the meaning of life and, as a result, severe stress.

There are people who try to avoid conflict in any relationship, constantly worrying about low self-esteem, keeping their distance from people. As a result, this situation, one way or another, leads them to a very serious crisis. And because such people cannot afford to ask for help, the crisis becomes even deeper and more serious. Usually they do not even seek solutions, but try to avoid them. It is at this age that people often begin to divorce.

In general, it does not matter what causes of the midlife crisis are manifested in a person, external or internal, but it happens that a person, having passed this period, regrets the decisions made.

Crisis Symptoms

— Depression.
- Self-pity.
- Devastation.
Feeling trapped, career or marriage trapped.
Feeling that life is unfair.
— External manifestations.
- Refusal of what has been achieved, despite the positive assessment of achievements by others.
- Loss of interest in many previously significant aspects of life. That is, in many ways.
- Changing the circle of reference persons: the opinion of random people may become more significant.
- Changing value orientations.
- More free, eccentric behavior.

How to overcome a midlife crisis for a woman

First of all, you must understand that you have entered a period of midlife crisis, this can be determined from personal observations, based on the signs of this period described by us above.

It is very important that you do not withdraw into yourself and do not move away from your family, and most importantly - from your other half. Yes, in this period it is sometimes even useful to be alone with yourself: to think, reason, draw some conclusions, but this should not go too far.

If you have begun to quarrel frequently with your husband, then it may be worth sitting down with him in a quiet environment and discussing the situation.

It is equally important to draw the right conclusions from your career. If you have a stable and confident income, you work in a good place and with a good team, and also enjoy authority, then this is already considered an achievement.

Often, a midlife crisis in women is accompanied not only by a rethinking of their career achievements, but also of marriage. This problem must be solved together with the husband, and not accumulate it all in yourself and blame him for being such and such.

If you have a period of midlife crisis - try to take a vacation and just take a break from everything. can be found on the Internet.

How can I help my husband overcome his midlife crisis?

Give your husband time to be alone with his thoughts. At the same time, "do not miss it", and do not let it move away from you both physically and mentally. Try to spend more time with the whole family, and just the two of you.

Support your husband in all his affairs, show very sensitive care, affection and tenderness during this period, but so that it is not too intrusive. Become an integral part of his life.

Become a psychologist for him, let him speak out to you: what worries him, what he dreamed and dreams about, what he would like to change both in his own and in your family life. If at the same time he says something that will be unpleasant for you, it is unnecessary to show a negative reaction - he was sincere with you and opened his soul to you, since you are a dear person to him. Help him understand himself by directing him in the right direction.

How to save a marriage during midlife crises in spouses?

If your marriage has lost its former inspiration, or if you want to survive a midlife crisis while keeping your family together, then talk to your husband. Create a relaxing romantic setting for this and talk about your relationship. Remember how you met, how you met and, of course, your wedding. Talk about your family, moving the conversation smoothly to what you like and don't like about your relationship - and you would like to change. But here it is very important that this conversation be with an open mind, and not become the subject of a quarrel. After such a conversation, try to summarize your mutual desires and find a common plan for their implementation.

Add something new to your relationship. Call each other several times during the day or exchange SMS messages.

Conclusion

The midlife crisis is another scourge of modern society, which today has taken on enormous proportions. Many people do not realize the full depth of such a problem, and do not know how to survive this difficult period with the least losses.

According to statistics, most people on our planet are faced with a similar problem, which can lead to rather complex consequences. That is why this article describes in detail all the causes and consequences of such a crisis and how to overcome it, saving your family.

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

According to statistics, men from 35 to 45 years old go through the most difficult stage in their lives. It is during this period that divorces occur. Men experience severe depression associated with hormonal and physiological changes. Moreover, at this age, the representatives of the stronger sex instill addiction to alcoholism, or worse, commit suicide.

This period is called a midlife crisis, during which men rethink life, come to logical conclusions and immerse themselves in self-knowledge. To safely survive this time, you need to understand what symptoms appear, and know the cause of their occurrence.

When do men have a midlife crisis?

The midlife crisis in men is menopause. Although it is commonly believed that only women suffer from this, in reality this is not the case.

Climax is a change in the hormonal background of a person, regardless of his gender. Over time, sex hormones leave the body, which leads to changes in human physiology. Therefore, menopause occurs in all people.

Basically, the period when the midlife crisis begins is close to forty years. The first changes that a man begins to notice is the lack of sexual desire. This does not mean that the representatives of the stronger sex have impotence, just sexual desire occurs much less frequently than before.

Important! The fact that passion subsides in men over time is quite normal, since in youth, hormones in men are much more active.

In connection with physiological changes, from which the attraction to a woman decreases, men begin to look for interesting activities for themselves. It is not uncommon to see them go fishing, go hunting, or spend hours dismantling a car.

However, some do not understand why such changes occur to them. They are trying to figure out what the problem is, and the first people to come into view are the wives. Since women gain weight in their forties, wrinkles appear and their bodies become less sexy, men think that their spouse is the problem. That is why, husbands begin to go to the side in order to arouse in themselves feelings that have been muffled in them. However, over time, they return to their wives.

Interesting! The successful experience of the crisis in men depends on the circle of friends, the situation in the house and on his social position.

Symptoms and signs

The midlife crisis in men aged 30 or above is the most difficult emotional period in their lives. At this age, their priorities change, they reconsider their life values ​​and look for meaning in life. In other words, a person is trying to fully satisfy not physical or sexual needs, but emotional ones.

Interesting! Many men at this age have reached unprecedented heights or received Nobel Prizes.

Most importantly, it is important to know the main symptoms that are characteristic of this age. These include:

• deep depression. The very first sign of menopause is depression, which is accompanied by a change in mood and a deterioration in the emotional state of a person. In this regard, men may not be able to work and are constantly dissatisfied with something. Moreover, men can have:

1. Bad appetite
2. Severe weight loss
3. Lethargy and fatigue
4. restless dream,
5. Loss of interest in vital matters.

• Rethinking life. Men are trying to radically change their lives, in connection with which, the first thing they resort to is to change jobs. Sometimes these are good changes, but it happens that a person looks at his family differently and becomes very disappointed in her.
• A strong desire to change something. The stronger sex makes unplanned purchases or rolls up repairs in the house. He wants to change something globally, the environment, lifestyle, communication style, friends, etc. It is very important that the wives who are nearby give their help correctly. They need to try to support their husband in everything and try to monitor their appearance. Treat your husband like a child who has a transitional age. If you constantly sort things out and quarrel, this will not lead to anything good.
• Also, the crisis manifests itself in doubt about the choice of a marriage partner.. It happens that spouses live for many years without knowing grief, and at one fine moment, the husband says that he made a mistake in his youth and wants to correct it while there is time. It is very important for wives to understand that such statements are associated with a severe hormonal crisis and therefore, do not take serious action. It's just a normal reaction of a man to his physiological changes. It is difficult for them to admit that it was not the wife who changed, but he became different.
• Outburst of negative emotions. In a moment of global change, men conduct deep introspection. They analyze what they have achieved in their lives and who is responsible for the fact that they did not get what they wanted. In connection with such reasoning, husbands can be provocateurs in scandals or are able to throw out accumulated negative emotions.

All these symptoms can appear for a long time, so wives need to be patient.

Doctors cannot say exactly how long a midlife crisis lasts. For each person, it proceeds differently. Someone experiences this period for about a year, and someone lives with it for decades.. Therefore, family members should treat the heads of the family with understanding when they undergo a change in the body.

Important! The duration of the crisis also depends on how much teenage hormones are left in the body of a man.

What to do, how to survive?

Many people think that it is at the age of 40 that a crisis begins for all men. However, no one can know exactly what time it will start. It all depends on the individuality of the human body. But how to survive this time and stay in the family? You need to remember a few rules:

1. Do not grieve for a past life and do not suffer from nostalgia. If you don't like your life, add positive colors to it and try to change something. Take up any interesting job or get carried away with some kind of hobby. Inaction only exacerbates depression.
2. Change jobs and set a new goal. Take care of the repair in the house and change its interior. If everything suits you, earn money for a trip to another country and, together with your families, go for new sensations or emotions. Someone wants to move to another country and for this he learns a foreign language, thanks to which he gradually achieves his goal. Learn to love life and continue to achieve everything, do not give up and do not be content with what you have. Learn to do something new for you and through this, your self-esteem will increase.
3. Train yourself to be an optimist. Fight your thoughts by capturing them. Do not allow negative thinking to develop and never think about death. Start exercising and break your bad habits.
4. Focus only on the good, praise yourself for the successes achieved and do not stop there. A positive attitude will help you get through the crisis normally, without bad consequences.
5. Don't think your life is over and it's over. Do not feel sorry for yourself and go to the goal, many people have achieved success only by the age of 50, and you are no exception. A strong desire does wonders.
6. Apperciate things which you have. People are used to seeing what they don't have. However, consider that you have health, family, work, relatives, friends and, finally, life. Many people only dream about it, but you already have it. Happy is not the one who has everything, but the one who knows how to appreciate what he has. No wonder they say that we do not store, having lost crying.
7. Take care of your health and do not overwork. A balanced lifestyle will help you safely survive menopause.

For a midlife crisis to pass well, men need to pull themselves together and control their feelings, emotions and behavior. Apply all these tips and maybe your life will become even better.

Crisis - a problem or an impetus to the great?

In every man, hormonal changes cause different reactions. Someone abandons his family and destroys everything he has acquired, while someone achieves new goals and conquers Everest. It all depends on the mental state of a person and his willpower. Everything is in our hands and only we decide how our life will turn out.

It is important for relatives and wives not to abandon such men, but to be support and support for them in everything. A wise wife contributes to the development and prosperity of the family, and a stupid woman destroys it with her own hands.

A crisis can occur not only in the economy or in life, but also in connection with age. If we talk about age, we often remember the midlife crisis. However, in men and women, it can occur at any time. You can call it a crisis of transitional age and even the age of 3 years, when a person begins to gradually separate from his mother.

Throughout life, a person periodically enters periods of crisis? What it is? What's so special about a midlife crisis? The online magazine site will tell about everything, which in this article focuses on one of the crises that have been coming for about 40 years.

What is a midlife crisis?

What is commonly called (or the crisis of the forties)? This emotional state is long in time, which occurs in the middle of life and is associated with a reassessment of values, experience and the direction of one's existence. Typically, this crisis occurs between the ages of 35 and 55, when a person begins to nostalgic about a good past, regret missed opportunities, overestimate the meaning of his life, give up unnecessary and make efforts only for what is important, as well as awareness of the inevitable approaching old age, to which you should have time to enjoy life.

What is a crisis anyway? A crisis is a time for change. However, not only the surrounding world must change, but also the person who lives in it. The problem of many is that during the crisis they complain, whine, try to return their old life back. But those who do not struggle with changing circumstances become successful, but change themselves to suit these circumstances, and change themselves in such a way as to be able to live successfully, richly, happily, etc. in new conditions.

Sometime in childhood, you adapted to the world in which you were born. Like the world or not, no one cared. You were forced to look for ways that you will use in order to achieve the benefits that you need. You learned to communicate with different people, decided for yourself how to react and act in certain situations, determined how you would live, in accordance with the opportunities that life gives you.

There are such concepts as constancy and stability. Many people talk about how they strive for constancy and stability, and fall into a trap. The trap of permanence and stability lies in the fact that a person ceases to be flexible, adaptable and changing. If the world were static, did not change, then a person would only adapt in childhood, and then live the rest of the time as he used to. But the world changes periodically or constantly. Successful people are those who understand the need to change themselves depending on the conditions and goals that are achieved in the new circumstances.

How to survive the crisis? Understand that you do not live in a static world. If not heads of state, then natural disasters, if not your friends and neighbors, then you yourself will create a crisis - a period when you have to radically change something in your lifestyle. Even such a happy moment as the birth of a child creates a crisis for parents. Now mom and dad must change their lives forever, adjusting themselves to the needs of the child. It is hard for those who have not been able to transform their lives, change old habits for new ones and accept the fact of the existence of a new person in their lives who will remain forever.

Crisis is a natural process. He, of course, can go in the direction of regression, not progress. But the essence is different: in order to live happily, calmly and prosperously in the new conditions that have been created, you need to change yourself - your views, habits, manners, rules and beliefs, even fears, doubts. Not everything will have to be changed, but only that part that will no longer help in the new conditions.

You once adapted to this world, no matter how good or bad it may be. There were transitional moments when you created crises for yourself and changed your lifestyle (for example, adolescence or the transition to adulthood). Of course, when the crisis is created by external forces, and not by you (for example, you broke up with you, you were fired, or there was a crisis in the country), it is difficult to change. But this is not the main thing. If you want to live well, despite the new circumstances that have arisen in your life, you must change yourself, and not whine, complain or resent. You need to change your views, habits and rules, which now will not help you live in new circumstances. You don't need to be stable here. A person must be flexible in his mind and ready for change in order to change throughout his life.

Obviously, the crisis is a temporary period that can be experienced if you learn to live in a new way. And here the problem arises: what new life to live next? This is the question that arises in the middle of life. If in adolescence people usually know what they want in the future, then in the middle of life this question remains open. A man and a woman do not know what they want, so they return their thoughts to their past to answer this question.

The milestone, when a person is at the stage of reaching his 40th birthday, is marked by a midlife crisis. A person already has everything that he could only achieve: family, money, career, property, etc. It seems to some that this age is the very period when a person begins to grow old. It's a delusion. A person ages only when he begins to consider himself old and unable to achieve anything else in his life. The midlife crisis is marked by very different changes.

For different people, this period comes at different times. Someone at the age of 35 may realize that his life is going in the wrong direction, someone at 45 begins to live in a new way. 40 years is the arithmetic average, plus or minus 5 years. It is during this period that a person suddenly begins to reconsider his life in order to understand whether he lives happily or not.

The midlife crisis is marked by a change of job where he worked for a long time, the destruction of a family that lasted for many years, moving to other cities, etc. What pushes for such drastic changes? It's not about all people. You can see that people go through a personal crisis, but after it they continue to live their usual lives. There is nothing surprising. Having considered the essence of this period, one can understand why a person performs certain actions.

The midlife crisis is a period when a person begins to reconsider his life. Does he like the way he lives? Are you happy with the life you are living? Does everything suit him? Is he satisfied with himself and with the way his life is organized? This is the stage when a person allows himself to finally live happily, and not as usual. It is customary in society to start a family, work officially, earn money, work around the house, etc. Does he want to continue living like this, or does his happiness lie in something else?

This period is marked by the fact that all the goals that an exemplary citizen of his country should embody are achieved, but the question arises: did he want to have this in his life in order to be happy? "What makes me happy?" A person finally stops living as it should be, and starts the life that makes him happy.

If the work did not like, brought a small income, then the person begins to change it. If there were plans to create a business, it is during this period that a person allows himself to realize what he wants. If the family was unwanted, the second spouse is an unloved partner, then the person decides to leave. He may not leave children, but he terminates his marital status. Finally, there are those partners who are really interesting and attractive. He begins to make friends with those people who evoke friendly feelings in him.

The midlife crisis can be called a "transitional" stage, when a person begins to live for his own pleasure. He already has the skills, experience and knowledge to reasonably plan his future life, to predict the results of all his decisions and actions. At this age there is no fear. A person is already familiar with the world around him and knows how to behave in order to achieve what he wants.

Changes during this period do not occur only for two reasons:

1. A person gets happiness from what he already has. In this case, there is no need to change anything.
2. A person is ready to live and put up with what he has, but he is not satisfied. Nobody canceled laziness and unwillingness to change. The individual lives on as before only because he is ready to put up with the lack of happiness.

midlife crisis symptoms

Psychologists are not so optimistic about the midlife crisis. For some people, during this period, much is collapsing, their personality is upset, the meaning of life is lost. Outwardly, the symptoms manifest themselves in different ways, depending on how a person experiences this period.

1. Rejection of achievements, even if they are positive and society approves of them.
2. Feeling trapped in a career or marriage, feeling unfair.
3. Change of significant people and friends.
4. Feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness of life.
5. Self-pity, emptiness, exhaustion.
6. Changing values.
7. Loss of interest in other activities, depression.
8. Eccentricity.

Why does a midlife crisis occur?

Why does a midlife crisis occur? K. Pak singled out the following factors:

• Changing the importance of intimate to social priorities.
• The need to change activities from physical to mental, which is associated with poor health.
• Separation of interests related to family and work.
• The need to form emotionality, which has decreased significantly over the time of the existence of marriage and the loss of friends.
• Reorientation from personal interests to public ones.
• Concentration of attention on approaching old age and death, which is inevitable.

A person is on the border between childhood, youth and approaching old age. He understands that he spent his healthy and young years on following other people's prescriptions and following social principles. The family has already been created, the ceiling has been reached at work, the house has been built, the children have been raised.

The midlife crisis begins when a person has fulfilled all his obligations to society. In other words, he has already achieved everything he could, and now he is facing the realization that he has done nothing for himself. Public goals have been achieved, personal desires have not been realized, you can’t jump above your head, and there is little time left to finally live for yourself.

The appearance of free time, which a person does not know what he is doing, is a factor in the emergence of a crisis in the middle of life.

Midlife crisis in men

Men are more prone to a midlife crisis. During this period, they can leave high-paying jobs, leave their wives and find mistresses (often much younger than themselves), become depressed.

The crisis in men in the middle of life is associated with dissatisfaction. For most of his life, a man fulfilled his duty, fulfilled the obligations assigned to him, was constantly indebted to someone. Now the period has come when he realized that he lived not for his own joy, but for the benefit of other people. A man is aware of the presence of lost opportunities and unfulfilled desires.

How can a man survive a midlife crisis?

1. Recognize and get used to the decrease in physical and psychological activity. The body is aging, but this does not mean that a person should give up on himself. A man simply has to change his lifestyle in accordance with the changes that occur in his body.
2. Stop chasing public goals. Start living for your own pleasure. However, this does not mean abandoning the family, leaving work and everything that a person has achieved. Everything valuable and achieved should be preserved by simply changing the direction of its movement. Stop running, just start walking towards what is interesting and important.

The main thing that a man should not allow is the collapse of his family, career and other achievements that were important to him before. In times of crisis, one might think that these elements are unimportant. In fact, family, work, loyal friends, accomplishments are the pillars that will support a man as he seeks his new path through a midlife crisis.

midlife crisis in women

Women are also subject to a midlife crisis, which usually occurs after 35 years. It is distinguished by symptoms:

• The fading of love feelings for her husband.
• Misunderstanding the meaning of your life.
• Emotional distance from children.
• Job dissatisfaction.
• Uncertainty and anxiety.
• Regret for unfulfilled desires.
• The idea that the best years have passed, and the future does not exist.
• Feeling of lost time.
• Dissatisfaction with one's appearance.
• Empty after romance and flirting.
• Dissatisfaction with the past years.
• Avoiding parties, friends.

Psychologists recommend not to focus on longing and regrets. Stop thinking about what happened. Better focus your energy on what you would like to have in the future. Now you are at a stage where you want to change. You can find new hobbies, start your own business, change your appearance, make friends with other people, etc.

If you want change, then you should implement it. To avoid depression, you simply should not yearn for the past.

Bottom line, or What kind of life do you want to live next?

When a crisis occurs, a person begins to look for answers to the questions that have arisen, or rather, the way through which he will get rid of the current problems. This is a kind of desire to change or change something around you, to start living differently, to get rid of what causes pain and suffering.

But which way to choose? Act as you would if you were a single person. There is no one nearby, no one tells you how to live, and there is no one to help either. You have only you and the material that is available today. What else do you want to achieve? What do you want to develop in yourself? How exactly do you want to live?

A crisis is a moment of understanding what oppresses you and prevents you from living happily. And at least on a subconscious level, every person understands that changes are needed. But what will those changes be? It depends on what you see in your future and how are you going to proceed? We can say that your future now depends on what goals you begin to achieve from today. And thus you will not only get rid of the oppressive past, but also shape the future that you will live.

There is only you and no one else. Think for yourself, rely only on yourself, act on your own. What do you choose, left alone with the whole world? How do you see yourself? What kind of life do you want to live next?