Why a woman is friends with men psychology. Is friendship possible between a man and a woman? Friendship between a boy and a girl in puberty

Fortunately, the days when schooling for boys and girls was separate are long gone, so modern people begin to communicate with members of the opposite sex from an early age and continue to do so until old age. And, of course, when people communicate with each other, certain relationships and antipathies arise between them. With dislikes, everything is more or less clear. Rather, today we will not talk about them at all, but rather about a feeling of sympathy.

Of course, the most pronounced sympathy between a man and a woman is still one, and it degenerates into a love relationship. But on the other hand, as a rule, we like not one person, but several, many.

Moreover, a person can be sympathetic without a touch of some special attraction or love, and in this case, sympathy flows into friendly, friendly relations. But even here, not everything is so simple, because we are still talking about the relationship of people of different sexes. And as a result, a heated debate arises: a Is real sincere friendship between a man and a woman possible??

Tell me who is your friend?

There is a point of view that such friendship is impossible in principle. Even if a man and a woman call their relationship friendship, and one of them really does not experience any feelings other than friendship, the second one still experiences them (most often secretly). And then, at best, such a "friendship" can later develop into something more.

And at worst, this second one will suffer, listening to stories about the love experiences of his "friend" or "girlfriend", trying to hide his own feelings away in the soul. But one day it becomes completely unbearable to hide love, and then there are two ways: either by confessing a person receives reciprocity (or at least a chance for reciprocity), or a frank refusal. But, be that as it may, after this "friendship" will no longer be the same as before.

Sometimes relationships come to naught and by themselves, for example, when one of the friends has his own family, and a “friend in love” or girlfriend suddenly comes to the realization that nothing is holding him next to this person, since there is no longer any dream of reciprocity meaning, and the whole "friendship", as it turned out, rested precisely on this ...

Human factor

And yet, many believe that sincere, true friendship between a man and a woman is still quite possible. It is friendship - without all sorts of secret loves, dramas and.

Probably, many can even give similar examples from their own lives or the lives of their friends. And, indeed, why, in fact, representatives of the opposite sex cannot be friends with each other? After all, a person is a person who is able to see in others a personality, their inner world and soul, and not perceive them only as a sexual object.

There is no female friendship
friendship between a man and a woman also.
Question: with whom to be friends with a woman?

So many opinions have been expressed about the friendship of a man and a woman, so many articles have been written that, it would seem, there is nothing to add to what has been said. But I'll still try. I would like to express my point of view on this issue.

Before discussing the essence of the issue itself, it is necessary to define what is meant by the word "friendship". Due to the substitution of concepts, now for some, friendship is even correspondence on social networks. But these cases do not want to consider. Friendship, first of all, is an active participation in the life of another person, help and support. In other words, you spend significant time with a friend, and your communication is not limited to just a phone call. Constant contact is essential. Some, considering friendship between a man and a woman, give an example of "friendship" when they meet once a year for a cup of coffee, spending the rest of the time away from each other, and communication takes place through telephone conversations. Such relationships can be called friendly, but friendly ... With a friend you spend a significant period of time together, go for a walk, visit, travel, help to cope with life's difficulties. That is, you take an active (!) Participation in the life of a friend. And from this point of view, I will consider today the friendship of a man and a woman.

Now imagine for yourself: you closely communicate with a man, go shopping with him, go to clubs together, you share the most intimate with him, he calms you down after your next break with a partner. A rather illogical situation is obtained, you see. And the conclusion suggests itself: either he likes you, or he is gay and perceives you as a girlfriend. I can't find any additional justification. I'll tell myself. If I go everywhere with a girl, spend time with her, listen to her complaints, help her everywhere and in everything, I just like her. No other is given. I will not strain for a stranger, a stranger to me. Yes, one or two times I can do something (not constantly), just out of respect, but then I will certainly find reasons to leave (yes, that's how bad I am). And so it is with every man. Therefore, if a true friend appeared next to you, you should not hope that you are the only one who was lucky to have friendship with a man. You just don't care about him. Only the question is different: how do they get into this very category of “friends”? And here the fault, in my opinion, lies with the men. Somewhere you were shy, didn’t hug, didn’t kiss at the right moment, didn’t clearly show your serious intentions - that’s it, now you are a friend. And you might be glad to do something, but it's too late to twitch. Live and be friends. And there are two ways out: either stay close and hope for a miracle, or leave and not torment yourself. As a rule, choose the first option. But this miracle happens oh how rare. You give yourself everything, hoping that the object of adoration will open its eyes to you. Isn't it easier to say? Isn't it easier to talk, open up, and then act according to the situation? After all, it is much better to take this step than to live in ignorance all your life.

But you girls are good too. Tell me, how can a man be classified as a friend? Spending time with him, relaxing, visiting, then complaining about another villain who left you, and in the finale giving out a brilliant phrase “I wish I had such a good guy like you, my friend”? Why look if it is in front of you??? I know that women's logic is unpredictable, but not so. You are friends, he does everything for you, pleases with surprises, gives gifts. On any of your calls, he breaks down and comes to you. But when you “accidentally” find out about his feelings for you, you make such a surprised face, as if you met a dinosaur on the street. For you, this becomes such a discovery, as if there were no “friendly” romantic dates before, “friendly” trips to the cinema, “friendly” bouquets of flowers. Such news, but “absolutely nothing” did not indicate any feelings ...

Anything can be found these days. Including friendship between a man and a woman. As far as I'm concerned, that's just stupidity. Nature did not create us for this. Partners, lovers, spouses - anyone but friends. As a famous person said: “I don’t believe it!” ...

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman is the most mysterious question, for many years psychologists have been trying to determine whether such friendship exists? Let us consider in more detail the features of heterosexual friendship, how to establish and maintain such friendly relations? Why do friendly feelings arise between a man and a woman, what contributes to their creation?

Features of friendship between a man and a woman

The friendship of a man and a woman causes conflicting opinions, some people believe in its possibility, others do not, and girls are more prone to such relationships, and the guys understand that it is difficult to keep such friendship, love is likely to arise.

Why do girls like to be friends with guys, what are the benefits of such communication?

1. Men think objectively, they can help with advice in resolving the situation.
2. Men are sincere in their manifestations, inspire trust, and are not inclined to compete with women.
3. The guys are always attentive and courteous with the girls, allow them to be in the spotlight.
4. Reliable in friendship - obligatory, always ready to help, focused more on actions than reasoning.
5. Friendly communication helps in the future in building love relationships, promotes self-knowledge and understanding of the opposite sex, features, differences.
6. A good friend can give advice from a male point of view, help you look at the situation differently.
7. Men are more truthful in their assessments, they do not show envy, they can sincerely rejoice at achievements, evaluate a new outfit, and make a compliment.
8. For a young girl, communication with guys is of great importance, it contributes to the growth of self-esteem.
9. Communication with men is more interesting - it allows you to look at the world differently, new topics for conversation arise, and the circle of interests expands.

Therefore, for girls and women, friendships with the opposite sex bring a lot of positive things, while you should be confident in choosing friends and careful in choosing a company.

What are the reasons for the friendship of guys with girls?

1. In adolescence, the influence of the hormonal background increases, there is an interest in the opposite sex, an unconscious attraction.
2. Girls are sensitive, they can understand, show attention, care.
3. It is pleasant to be in the company of girls, men like to feel the attention of women, support, positive evaluations.
4. Desire to impress the opposite sex.
5. The desire to know the girls, the characteristics of their behavior, thoughts, the desire to get friendly advice from them.

Usually, guys prefer male companies for friendship, but in adolescence, more often female and male groups intersect, mixed are formed. There is more and more interest in each other. At this stage, friendship is more of a preparation for love.

Are there friendships without intimacy? The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman gives such friendship a special status - it is not just friendship and not love, rather an average. When people are just friends, talking, there is a feeling who it is - a girl or a man, which causes special feelings. We are opposite in our inner essence, like fire and water, earth and sky, it is the differences that cause a strong attraction between men and women.

Psychology of love, love is friendship, how to distinguish friendship from falling in love? - a question that haunts many young people. Communication can bring pleasure, but where is the line that symbolizes falling in love?

Let's try to identify the main differences:

• love arises like a flash of lightning, a discovery, a sudden feeling, and a friendly attitude is the result of a long communication, a series of meetings, joint activities;
• love does not have special levels, it exists as a given, it is hard not to notice, friendly affection has different levels - weak, strong, there may be acquaintances or true friends;
• love- this is passion, and hence suffering, implies ecstasy and high joy from meetings, but also the torment of separation and experiences. Friendly feelings are not connected with experiences, rather they are aimed at the joy of communication;
• love it can be one-sided without an answer, and friendly interaction is usually a mutual process - communication, mutual sympathy, the desire to help in difficult situations;
• prone to idealization, a person is real and at the same time becomes special, the best in the world, in friendship we really evaluate a friend, we see objectively;
• in friendship it is important to feel the understanding of a friend and feel the similarity of views, in love a person is constantly in search of answers - is there reciprocity or not, do they love me;
• fair and demanding to a lesser extent, love is madness, constant anxieties, thoughts, even having found reciprocity, a person often feels ups and downs of joy in moments of separation, experiences.

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman makes it possible to understand that friendly feelings are more humane, tuned to the mutual joy of communication, and are useful for both a man and a woman, but we remember nature. If you want to maintain friendship and not move to the stage of love, you should follow the recommendations of psychologists:

• Remind periodically that you are just friends.
  I co-sport. Diverse friendships have their advantages and disadvantages. The main question is: how do people perceive these relationships, what do they invest in them, do they see each other as friends or hope for more?
• Do not use flirting in communication, transparent hints of the closeness of the relationship.
• Do not play with a person in the family - joint purchases, repairs and other similar matters.
• Try to keep a distance, too active communication can turn on other mechanisms.
• Report that you are not looking for love or that the place in your heart is occupied.

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman determines: such friendly feelings arise as a result of joint activities - common work, teamwork, hobbies, hobby activities. You can go to courses, learn foreign languages, play sports together. Diverse friendships have their advantages and disadvantages. The main question is: how do people perceive these relationships, what do they invest in them, do they see each other as friends or hope for more?

friendship and sex

The modern world has become more pragmatic, not everyone needs real feelings, there are young people who are just interested in a partner for a relationship. There was also the expression "sex for friendship". What does this mean and is such interaction possible without a feeling of love? Initially, friendly communication excludes intimacy, and its presence indicates greater intimacy. How to perceive such a trend?

There are 3 options for the development of events:

1. casual sex with a friend- booze, party, carried away and this is the result. How to be further? Forget and stay friends or become a couple, move to the next level of close communication;
2. friendship for sex- this is a search for a temporary partner to enjoy life, often people feel uncomfortable alone, and this is a simplified version of meetings without obligations;
3. friendship+sex- relations are based on friendly feelings, however, there is also a conscious desire to receive physical relaxation, the rules of the game are established - no obligations, dates continue until the moment of meeting true love, can last up to 10 meetings, then falling in love occurs or one of the partners goes to to another person.

Of course, such relationships seem cynical or vulgar, less sublime than love, but they take place in the modern world, while "sex for friendship" is a big risk - it is difficult to meet a true friend, and close intimate communication can ruin a wonderful friendship. It all depends on people, moral principles, life values, priorities.

Friendship between a man and a woman is a reality

Psychologists have established that friendship between a man and a woman exists, which is confirmed by social surveys among the population - 61% of respondents believe in heterosexual friendship, 31% do not. However, the line is rather shaky and friendly communication is possible under certain circumstances:

• friends have partners, lovers;
• there is no intimate interest, there was already an affair, friendly feelings remained;
  family couples.
• there is a mutual desire to maintain communication at the level of friendship;
• friendly communication with married couples.

How to perceive when there is friendship between a man and a married woman or a girl with a married man? Of course, not all spouses approve of friends of the opposite sex, for fear of losing loved ones. The essence of the issue is deeper - when a close friend arises, besides the spouse, there is a high probability - there is no spiritual intimacy and understanding in the family, which creates the basis for friendly relations.

A friend compensates for the lack of communication, mutual understanding, playing the role of a congenial, dear person. Such attachments often arise on the basis of common interests - music, literature, foreign languages. People are united by common views on life, values, worldview.

It is worth remembering: in the case of a person’s sociability and desire to communicate with a large circle of friends, this is normal, but a close friend is an alarming sign for a couple. Such interaction in case of difficulties with a loved one can become an order of magnitude closer. Often there is sympathy between friends, but they try to keep their distance, maintaining the boundaries of independence from feelings.

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman pays special attention to the question of the transformation of friendship. Love after friendship is a fairly common scenario. Friendly feelings imply trust, respect, mutual assistance. The stage of friendship can be a preparation for love, it serves as an excellent foundation for establishing strong family relationships. Indeed, to create a lasting union, friendship, love, passion, respect, understanding are needed. And a close friend can know a person quite well and understand perfectly. Often close friends can be a wonderful couple, but are afraid to upset the existing balance.

As you can see, love after friendship is quite possible and develops well on the basis of friendly feelings, the main thing is that it be mutual and desirable, then the likelihood of a successful development of events is high.

Benefits of love after friendship:

• lovers never get bored, have a great time together, have common interests;
• the partner knows the secrets, perfectly feels and understands the loved one;
• the beloved is already familiar to friends and relatives, therefore, those around them perfectly perceive the newly created couple, usually support and rejoice;
• the beloved knows the positive and negative sides of the partner, calmly treats the shortcomings;
• a person perceives a partner naturally, there is no need to embellish oneself outwardly or attribute special qualities;
• such couples easily find a common language, have an excellent level of mutual understanding.

Negative points:

• in the event of a break in communication, there is a high probability of losing a friend,

Is there friendship between a man and a woman? Scientific works are devoted to this topic, there are disputes on television, in the press. Great people have contributed to this issue. Their arguments, quotes, sayings and poems provide food for thought. Friendship between a man and a woman has been compared to life on Mars - it is assumed that it exists, but it is difficult to prove.

Most agree that the relationship of the two sexes begins with friendship, but with the onset of night (as Bismarck said) weakens significantly. Their psychology is very different. The phrase of Honore de Balzac that a man never becomes a friend, wants to become a lover.

Sexual overtones are almost always present. Such relationships may exist in exceptional cases. In her poem, Zlata Litvinova says that strong friendship is possible only if "you do not burn with great love." When a woman "does not see a man in him at all."

So what is friendship? Many people interpret it differently. Relationships between members of opposite sexes have their own characteristics. They can be called rather friendly, until it comes to feelings and sex.

The famous psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky said about such friendship that it is a MYTH. It does not exist, because a woman and a man are too different not only externally, but also psychologically. What can unite them?

Attachment

When it occurs in a man to one woman and vice versa, it creates harmony between them, has a good effect on the psyche, and is important for success and well-being. Yin and Yang combine to form one whole. There is an exchange of energy.

Inevitably leads to love and sex. Young people have jealousy, a sense of ownership. It can very rarely remain a disinterested friendship, more often it happens at a more mature age, when both clearly understand the meaning of the word attachment.

Interests

Common activities can become the basis of strong friendships between representatives of different sexes. Sports, studies, computer games, the Internet, reading books - this can become the basis of a strong friendship. Better bring together sports competitions, jogging, love of chess, hiking in the mountains, forests.

Communicating, new facets are found - friendship, joyful memories. As Omar Khayyam said, there is no difference what the relationship is called if people feel good together.

Ownership

During relationships, there is often a desire to possess another. This illusion makes one happy and joyful. When the situation changes, everything will collapse, unsightly emotions will appear - jealousy, sacrifice, suffering.

Between two people of both sexes there is a whole gamut of feelings that brings joy, happiness, disappointment, longing. All of them are closer to love than to friendship.

Every person wants to please the opposite sex, to have his attention. There is a fear of losing him, jealousy of other people. Not everyone can cross this line.

Victim

Friendship is one-sided, when one already loves, and the second perceives everything as a partnership. There are enthusiastic assurances of the sincerity of feelings that put a barrier between them, subsequently not everyone will be able to overcome it.

In order to save her, the lover will suppress his feelings, sacrifice himself, suffer. You can often hear such stories when a hopelessly in love offers friendship to his beloved, hoping for reciprocal feelings.

Years pass, but the miracle does not happen. The suffering continues. When hope leaves, a heavy burden appears, bringing disappointment and sadness. It is even harder for someone who experiences unrequited passion.

The prose (short story) by Stefan Zweig "Impatience of the Heart" describes the suffering of a man who has become the object of a woman's love. Compares the state with "cruel torture", when you do not have "the ability to defend yourself from the passion that harasses you." There is no escape from someone else's feelings, you become powerless.

Unselfishness

It manifests itself when partners not only help in everything, but also do it with great joy. They endure, become close souls. If a friend needs moral or material help, selflessness comes, the desire to help.

There is such an emotional connection between them that even the spouses do not have. These relationships can exist in couples who are happily married.

The woman is sure that there will be no sexual claims from the man. As the great classic Oscar Wilde said, “friends have everything in common and friendship is equality.”

Joy

The ability to celebrate the successes and achievements of a comrade is not available to everyone. This is a sign of true true friendship. More often, envy and jealousy cover their eyes, they do not allow them to be happy for a friend. There are many anecdotes about this, where a “true friend” wants the same thing that he has (he went bankrupt, went to jail, ended up in the hospital).

When there is envy, the desire to profit, to gain, there is no place for true friendship. It implies trust, willingness to help, empathy, shared success. When it is, then the partnership will last for many years.

Jealousy

Friendship implies the absence of possessive manners, jealousy. Relationships must be built on trust. Most people are selfish, tend to take more than give.

Watching the happiness of others without envy is not available to everyone. A folk saying says: "I'm not jealous, but evil takes." Its absence is the very threshold that distinguishes a mature relationship from all sorts of meaninglessness.

Friedrich Nietzsche called jealousy "a witty passion and the greatest stupidity." Getting rid of bad feelings can be very difficult. It causes the collapse of relationships, sometimes even murders.

A gentle, devoted friend or husband can suddenly become an implacable enemy, or a murderer. Movies and books often tell stories from life, where whole dramas unfold.

Friendship

As Bernard Shaw said, "friendship between a man and a woman is the relationship of former or future lovers." Representatives of the two sexes may have platonic ties for some time, but sooner or later they will end in sex. Byron compared friendship to love without wings. When they grow up, the brightest feeling available to a person is born.

What does friendship lead to?

What is the opinion of psychologists on this issue? Numerous tests and studies have been carried out, which show that this is almost impossible. It's all about the men. They initially view the woman as a sex object.

Getting into bed with her is a matter of time. The weak half sees a man as a "shoulder" that you can lean on. There is too much difference between both sexes and the ultimate goal. As Democritus said, only "unanimity creates friendship."

Too different thoughts are visited by representatives of different sexes. Seeing a happy-faced man sitting in a fitting shop is as difficult as seeing a woman fishing or hunting. Unites only a common hobby, which will be the basis of friendship.

Also, there are a long period together - childhood friends who have passed the test of time, created their own families, maintained friendship.

Good relationships - with ex-spouses or lovers. When sex is satisfied, but interest, the desire to communicate remains.

A work colleague pretends to be a friend. Labor worries bring together, such ties last for years.
Relationships that began with understanding, the desire to help will certainly develop into a strong marriage and great love for life.

How to keep feelings

It has been proven that 99% of friendships between the weaker and stronger sex end in sex, but not always in love. Men perceive this as a relaxation, women are looking for the only one with whom they will be all their lives.

Having different goals, you need to find a middle ground when your “bird of happiness” grows wings. The strongest views begin with friendly, friendly sex is not excluded. Every couple develops differently.

Happiness is never the same, only sorrow is. There is no single recipe for maintaining relationships. Everyone should save the good that fate has given.

Sex

At all times, humanity was worried about the question: is there friendship between a man and a woman? There is no answer to this day. This is rather a rhetorical question, completely individual. It should be noted right away that the object of discussion is not an intermediate friendship from acquaintance to a full-fledged relationship. Namely, friendly, friendly relationships that do not imply a romantic outcome. The opinions of psychologists are radically different from each other. Some are sure that friendship is not guided by gender. Others argue that the basis of any relationship is physical attraction. And, sooner or later, platonic love will grow into physical.

What is friendship?

Some have a distorted concept of friendship. As a result, a misunderstanding of love relationships is formed. The line between platonic and romantic relationships is blurred. Therefore, friendship between a man and a woman ceases to be an option. So, friendship is called disinterested, trusting relationships built on common interests, communication, respect, fun pastime.

There are a number of basic distinguishing features of friendships from other types of feelings:

• Unselfishness. Friendships are formed without further benefit to anyone. If one achieves success in something, the other is only happy with his achievements. If on the way there are failures, friends experience them together. No envy, no gain, no use.
• Equality. There is no principle of hierarchy (as in a family, at work). Partners are equal.
• Frankness. True friends share their experiences with each other, openly show emotions. No one will ridicule the revelations.
• Naturalness. Friends never wear masks, they never pretend. They are what they are. And pretense is superfluous, inappropriate.
• Freedom. Comrades do not violate the personal space of everyone. Communication occurs only when both want it.

If these conditions are met, communication is easy, without imposition, we can safely talk about friendship between a man and a woman. But, the line between camaraderie and romance is very thin. She is not easy to recognize. It is even more difficult not to step over it for the opposite sex.

How to distinguish friendship from romance?

How to distinguish simple friendship from brewing love? A distinctive feature of romanticism is sexual attraction to a partner, which is manifested from the sensual sphere. The purpose of a romantic relationship is to build a family. Therefore, when a physical attraction to a man or woman arises, it is not necessary to talk about friendship.

If love begins to emerge between friends, the interests of one are put above the interests of the other. The appearance of a hierarchy, subordination violates one of the basic principles of unanimity - equality. A partner in love begins to do everything to please the other. He puts on masks, becomes good. So, a man can take the role of a guardian, a protector, and a woman can take the role of a mistress, a seductress. All these masks and roles discredit the principle of naturalness.

Often, people in love have false expectations for their chosen ones. And when these expectations are not justified, they are upset, disappointed. In this case, the principle of freedom, disinterestedness is violated. These are the main differences between love and friendship. The sooner "friends" recognize them, the better it will be for both.

Having studied the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman, you can understand what you need. If a partner is not looking for love or sex, friendship will only bring benefits - communication, useful experience, development. If a man or woman notices that sexual desire is beginning to appear, and you want to maintain friendship, you should adhere to the following psychologist's advice:

• Remember that you are friends;
• Do not flirt with a friend, do not make ambiguous compliments;
• Do not make joint purchases (do not play family relationships);
• Keep a distance in communication;
• Tell a friend / girlfriend that the place in your heart is taken.

Why do men value friendship with a woman?

Both a man and a woman expect understanding, support, trust, help, and a pleasant pastime from such relationships. But, a man who is friends with a girl also receives a kind of psychological relaxation session of psychotherapy. After all, who, if not a friend, will tell you what girls like, how to dress for a first date, what to give a sweetheart for her birthday?

Women are sensitive, spiritual beings. In them, a man will always find support, useful advice. Due to courtesy and attentiveness, a man feels like a leader in a female environment. Therefore, like-mindedness with a woman gives him confidence, increases self-esteem. Also, a long-term friendship with a girl helps a man to understand the feminine nature, the essence. This is a great theoretical experience for building romantic relationships.

Why do women prefer friendship with a man?

Men have developed logical thinking. They soberly assess any situation, without emotions. Therefore, girls will always find support, good advice from a male friend. In addition, a man is always sincere. They do not try to compete with a friend, to look better than her. They are what they are. This makes it much easier for some girls to surround themselves with male friends.

In addition, the representatives of the stronger sex, in most cases, are reliable and responsible. They will help you day and night. You can always rely on them. Friendship with a man gives a woman an understanding of the opposite sex, which helps in building a love relationship. And communication with a guy significantly expands your horizons, carries you into interesting dialogues, discussions.

Friendship between a man and a woman is real

World psychologists say that friendly relations between opposite sexes are quite possible. This is indicated by a sociological survey. So, 62% of the population either believe in friendship between the sexes, or have such a relationship. But, nevertheless, there is a line in such feelings. So, a friendly union between a guy and a girl is possible only if the following parameters are met:

• One of the friends, or both, has a love relationship with others;
• No sex drive;
• No sex;
• Both wish to maintain friendly relations;
• Partners are friends in couples, families.

The last point is worth dwelling on in more detail. Not always a spouse or spouse welcomes the close relationship of their loved one with the opposite sex. Jealousy takes its toll and the friendship ends. On the other hand, the second half is worth considering. If a married girl or a married young man needs to communicate with the other sex, perhaps the couple lacks spiritual intimacy, there is a spiritual distance between them.