A complete guide to how to get away with everything. How to forget about everything so as not to be nervous and live calmly

Today we will share secrets with you and personal experience how to forget about everything. And also how to send all unnecessary thoughts to hell. Do you often find yourself worrying about little things? Are you exhausted, angry and resentful? So maybe it's time to take control of the situation and throw the garbage out of your head? So, from this article you will find the answer to the question of how to forget about everything and not get nervous over trifles.

The important start is acceptance.

Forget about everything and live in peace, the following tips will help you.

Accepting a problem means starting to move towards its solution. The fact that you are now reading this article speaks for itself - you realize that you are loading more than you should. Much more than it should. Let's try to figure it out. If you are on the edge and you no longer have the strength, then the following advice will help you structure all your thoughts into shelves and streamline your further actions.

1. Take a piece of paper and write down everything that worries you, point by point.

Do not be afraid!

Be honest with yourself. It is important!

Tell yourself: Yes! I experience anger (uncertainty, fear, resentment, doubt). I have a lot of things that I want to close soon. It is advisable to write down everything from the most serious to the most trivial.

1. Next, think about ways to solve each of the identified problems. Be sure to write down all your thoughts.

Amazing!

Now you have a scheme for solving your problems, which you created yourself. Why don't you start putting it into practice? After all, the answers are there, they are ready and, most likely, simple. If some tasks remain unsolved, catch yourself thinking: is there any point in worrying about them, will this improve the situation? Or maybe they are not so important and can be done later?

1. Realize this!

The method through acceptance and awareness of the problem described above is very effective in relieving anxiety, resolving internal contradictions, and getting rid of unwanted thoughts.

However, solving current problems will not protect you from coming up with new ones. It is important for you to learn not only to be able to get out of the busy state of the brain, but not to enter it at all. The ability to “score” is an art, which we will talk about later.

“Why are you worried about what people who don’t play any role in your life will think of you?”

Valeria: This is exactly the question my psychologist friend once asked me. I, who was then still worried about the opinions of my boss, colleagues, visitors, and flies flying past, was perplexed by this statement. I fell silent and thought about it. And, you know, I still can’t answer why I was so worried about other people’s opinions about me. Why did I spend mine vitality trying to please everyone?

It is no coincidence that the world and we in it are created so multifaceted. Everyone has their own opinion, attitude to things, tastes. It is unlikely that there will be at least one person on the planet who was a complete copy of you, with the same tastes, views on life and the future, with the same aspirations and life positions. Even twins have different opinions on these issues.

People will never be happy with you with all your seven billion members. Even if you are perfect, smart and beautiful a million times over, I assure you: there will be those who will be annoyed by this. So is it worth spending time, effort and energy trying to be what they want you to be?

Remember : by changing yourself to suit everyone’s preferences, you lose your uniqueness and individuality. In other words, you are losing yourself.

The opinion of only those who are truly important to you in life is valuable. This is family, loved ones and closest people. But it is they, as a rule, who do not seek to change us, because they love us for who we are.

As for strangers, passers-by, colleagues and bosses, they, by and large, do not care about you. People live for themselves. Therefore, all your attempts to prove to someone that you are like this and not some other are meaningless. Knowing this makes life a lot easier. Also remember that you do not live for them, but in order to become and be happy and light, to enjoy everything that surrounds you and to be filled with joy and strength.

Very often, when a person comes to such an understanding and stops thinking about the opinions of others, they begin to look closely at him and notice, approve of his actions and actions. But at this moment a person absolutely doesn’t care what others say, the main thing is inner satisfaction from life!

Just live. Live simply. Learning to be simpler

People who do not know how to “forget” about unnecessary things, filling their heads with unnecessary things, greatly complicate their stay on the planet. A few things will help you forget about everything and live in peace: simple steps, which will simplify life, make it more enjoyable and allow you not to pay attention to the little things.

Step 1.Let go of expectations

The author of books about a joyful perception of life and health, gave advice to her readers: “Try approving everything about yourself for one day and see what happens.” Stop analyzing yourself, stop waiting for someone’s answer, conclusion or verdict, don’t evaluate anyone. Just accept reality as it is. Stay a little simpler.

Step 2. Live for today

Free yourself from the burden of thoughts and expectations. Yesterday is already over - forget about it. Tomorrow has not yet come - you will think about the events of the coming day when their time comes. You only have today, don’t waste it by immersing yourself in the experiences of the past and expectations of the future.. Look how beautiful the snow is falling. Listen to your favorite music. Enjoy the taste of ice cream or freshly brewed coffee. Look at everything through the lens of joy. Don't deprive yourself of a day off, don't fill it with work. Be alone with yourself or with your family. Leave everything until Monday!

Step 3. Overcoming Fear

There is very wise quote: “Our doubts are our traitors. They make us lose what we might have won if we weren't afraid to try."

Just think about these words! A very deep and valuable thought!

There are many reasons for unnecessary worry and worry. The source of them all is banal fear. Fear of being left with nothing, fear of loneliness, fear of making the wrong decision. This is why we don’t quit a job we don’t like, don’t ignore other people’s opinions, don’t tell others: “no,” and don’t tell ourselves: “yes.”

Most of our fears are nothing more than a stereotype of thinking imposed by society and fantasy. In fact, most situations do not require concern. They are just fiction. They exist only in your head.

The surest solution to this problem is to be guided by your inner voice, the call of your soul, without thinking about any “ifs.” “The heart will never tell you to do something bad”, -motivating and literate words.

Don't think about losing. No wonder they say: “It’s better to do and regret than not to do and regret”. Moreover, our mistakes are our best teachers, after all, they shape our personality, make us wiser, and often better.

Step 4. Change of world view

Imagine for a moment how much time a day you spend thinking about all sorts of unnecessary mental garbage. Now think about how you could spend this time if you did something truly useful and productive. I don’t want to upset you, but there is an opinion, and it is true, that a person who really has something to do has no time for extraneous small thoughts. His mind is completely occupied with serious matters. So, maybe it's time to pull yourself together and think about the global? Develop your mind and body, start building confidence and strength. As you become a better person, you will let go of the need to worry about little things. You simply won't have time for it.

Think about what really matters. Separate the wheat from the chaff.

Step 5. Through relaxation to problem solving

The brain's need to cling is bad habit. You may even realize that you can “forget” and not “sweat”, but still scroll through unwanted thoughts in your bright head. You can and should get rid of this. To begin with, relax. Constant pressure– excellent soil for the development of harmful thoughts. Sports and yoga will help you cope with your emotions. Try to notice the moment when you start to “load up”. When you “catch” it, do not let the unwanted thought spread throughout your brain - stop it. Abruptly switch your attention to something else, don’t let your brain think about it, just note it and continue going about your business. This practice is very effective. It's only difficult at first. Later, this becomes a new, useful habit - not to bother your head with nonsense.

Understanding these simple tricks will make your life a hundred times easier! It is important not only to learn the ability to abstract from the opinions of others, but also to instill it in your children.

Laugh!

Laughter and positive attitude. Many of us are afraid of embarrassment, wrongly spoken words or stupid actions. Self-analysis takes so much energy from us that, if we collected it and put it in the right direction, we could illuminate a small city. The strongest and most internally intact people have a unique skill. They can and are happy to laugh at themselves. Why bother when you can smile and move on?

Sometimes it’s amazing how people talk for years about some incident that happened to them many years ago. Each time these stories are emotional. I just want to say, “Forget about it already!”

Well, you too, forget about what’s bothering you! As the song says, “It was, it was, it was, but it’s gone.”

Forgot! They scored! Let's go! :)

Be honest

If you are “loaded” in vain, then think, what will this worry bring to you? Never mind! So why do you need it? Why waste time on this? Are you living such a boring life that you allow all sorts of “junk” to settle in your head?!

We are often afraid to admit to ourselves what we really want. Thinking about condemnations and mistakes, we place a huge burden of doubt in our heads and souls, which gives us no peace.

We are “loaded” with thoughts about how to do the right thing, what to say, how to respond.

The answer is simple: you need to speak and act honestly.

Being honest is always the right thing to do. Not being afraid to tell the truth (to yourself, first of all!) is the choice of strong and wise people.

Let go of unnecessary thoughts, be alone with yourself and answer the question: and what exactly do I want? And act in the given direction. Don’t be afraid to change jobs, stand up for your rights and protect yourself by fighting back against your abuser.

Many of us are tormented by feelings of guilt due to missed opportunities and mistakes made. But this is experience. And we can only feel gratitude for it, because it builds our personality.

Forgive yourself for all your misunderstandings. Forgive the people around you for the negative emotions they brought to you. All this is a long time ago, lessons have been learned, mistakes have been corrected. There are new opportunities and chances ahead, don’t lose them by digging through the “dirty laundry” of the past.

By clearing your thoughts, you will free up space for really important things that will delight you, because they are desired by you.

Replace obsessive thoughts with positive ones.

Whatever one may say, any situation, even the most unpleasant, has its own positive sides. Let's see how we can turn intrusive thoughts into positive ones.

Results

So, how do you get the hang of everything:

1. Awareness of the problem– a mandatory step to solve it, 70% success. Admit to yourself that your life can become simpler and more enjoyable without negative thoughts, and it will become so. Allow yourself to think only about what is important.
2. Forget about other people's opinions. There are many people - different opinions. It doesn't matter. It is important to be loved and loving in the eyes of those who light the fire of your heart. Everyone else is just fellow travelers.
3. Be more simple. Being simple does not mean being primitive. To be simple means to be able to not complicate life where it does not require any trouble.
4. Fill your life with joy. Laugh at yourself, at situations, and Life will bring you joy.
5. Be honest and sincere. This will relieve you of the unwanted need to invent something or look for reasons, which, in turn, will make life easier and more enjoyable.

Remember that your life is here and now, and only you can decide what it will be like. Do you need thoughts that cause nothing but discomfort? And who needs them anyway? Smile and enter the new day happy and unburdened by unnecessary mental burden.

OTHER OPINION / How not to depend on the opinions of others

“Don’t teach me how to live, help me better financially,” you grumble when friends advise you to “relax” and “get over it.” It's because you just don't know how to do it. And we'll tell you!

1 Don't be dramatic

Do you have the magical gift of turning a fly into an elephant, and then worry about the scale of the failure you invented? The habit of exaggerating your mistakes creates anxiety. Sometimes we make our passions look like fatal ones and thus grow in our own and other people’s eyes, completely forgetting about preserving our own nervous system. “Most often, the desire to exaggerate everything is characteristic of people who have taken from their parents’ family the feeling that they must constantly overcome something,” says psychologist Anetta Orlova. “Gradually, this becomes their pattern of behavior: constantly talking about their almost “incredible” difficulties and, of course, about the enormous efforts that they have to put into overcoming them. They do not live, but report. And at the same time, they constantly need positive assessment from others.”

Advice: Did something “terrible” happen? “Go out” onto an imaginary balcony and look at the situation from the fifteenth floor. You can imagine that you are flying over all this in a hot air balloon, which smoothly takes you into the blue heights. Have you calmed down? Well, now plan what to do.

2 Don't overthink it

If you think that you see through others and can always understand what and why the people around you are doing, what they feel and think at any given moment, you are wrong. After all, there has long been a saying that someone else’s soul is darkness. And even psychologists cannot always guess human reactions in a given situation. Thinking that you can always calculate the action of another person, you turn off your attention and begin to act based on your assumption. And all this instead of just calmly observing the development of events, and not worrying in vain. Especially in those moments when it seems to you that someone wants to treat you not very well.

Advice: Talk more and listen carefully! If you want to know what another person thinks, just ask him. We often forget that the shortest path is the most direct. And we love to mix things up.

3 Live in the moment

It has been proven that the most troubles, disappointments and misfortunes occur among those people who remember and cherish their past grievances and problems. Understand: the more often you replay them in your mind, reliving the unpleasant feelings they gave you, the larger they will seem. This means that you will feel offended not in the past, but in the present. Sometimes simply forgetting about an offense, erasing it from your memory, is even easier than forgiving it.

Advice: Let bygones be bygones. And in order to forget, you have to... remember: all the good moments, all
bitter, joy and resentment.
And put them in an imaginary locker: the good - in one drawer, the bad - in another, actions - in the third, thoughts - in the fourth... Then (mentally) lock all the drawers and put it... wherever you want, even throw it away.

4 Don't generalize

Remember that one or two failures are not a sign of catastrophic bad luck. And one random triumph of unconditional genius. Even three unpleasant events following one after another cannot always be called a protracted trend. Sometimes these are just random circumstances, and not a chain of troubles. And yet, according to statistics, grievances and defeats are remembered longer than victories, 7-12 times! Therefore, psychologists recommend that you keep a diary of your achievements, in which you will write down not only your victories, but in general everything good that happens to you: a compliment said by a colleague; the smile of a stranger on the subway; a gentle sms from your loved one. The main thing is to find something good every day! And when you feel sad, re-read your “positive diary.”

5 Don't be a perfectionist

Perfectionism is a kind of disease that prevents you from enjoying the present and constantly pushes you to search for something better. And the search for an ideal is an endless process, since, as we know, there is no limit to perfection. At the same time, absolutely everything that you already have (lovers, work, friends, etc.) will seem uninteresting and imperfect.

Advice: Psychologist Anetta Orlova recommends: “If you are used to being ideal, try for at least 5 minutes a day to do everything differently than usual, do a stupid thing, don’t be afraid to look funny and weak. If perfectionism is directed at others, ask your loved ones to stop you when you criticize others. The main thing is to accept the world as it is.”

6 Don't make up rules

Do you remember, as a child, your parents told you that, in addition to the verb “I want”, there is also “need” and “must”. Often these two words, supported by certain rules of behavior that you consider unshakable for yourself, only give you a feeling of guilt and neuroses. Of course, as we get older, we all have some obligations to our loved ones and colleagues, but we still shouldn’t forget about what exactly you want. After all, by loading your brain with various obstacles, you miss out on many opportunities. And when you try to force others to follow your rules, you turn into a bore or a dictator. Agree, not the most pleasant roles.

7 Avoid stereotypes and labels

Use words with positive or at least neutral connotations. After all, the language of negativity gives rise to similar thinking. And when you divide things into certain categories and evaluate them, you stop seeing them real value. Psychotherapist Natalya Untilova notes: “Now the words “good” and “bad” have for the most part lost their personal character and turned into standards and rules of behavior. A person, having forgotten that “good and bad” are only reactions, takes them for facts, thereby depriving himself of the opportunity to gain some new experience.”

Advice: Try to live at least a day without judging anything - just observe and live. You'll see how nice it is!

Instructions

Gain strength and determination to change your life and start it again. First, give yourself one day (or even less) to finally cry and feel sorry for yourself. Cry as much as you need. Within an hour you will probably notice that there are no tears left. Write down all your negative emotions about what happened and, without re-reading, burn it.

Use NLP techniques to successfully say goodbye to the past. From the point of view of this direction, those events that are less emotionally charged are easier to leave memory. Accordingly, reducing the emotional intensity of events (of a person) is suitable for your purposes. Alexander Lyubimov on his website trenings.ru recommends mentally imagining photographs of a traumatic situation painted on glass and breaking it with a hammer. You can also push the image of this situation or person away from yourself as far as possible, reduce the brightness and reduce the sounds of this situation, making them faded and dull.

Accept your past. Fighting it and wanting to erase it from your memory will not lead to any significant result. You can accept the past, let it go, learn from it, but you cannot make it disappear. Accept that this is part of your life, a part of you, but a part that is already gone. Find a positive experience in it, your unique experience, and mentally put an end to that situation. Also mentally turn your face to the future.

Take responsibility for your destiny and do not let any people or situations control your destiny. A sense of responsibility for yourself will not allow you to become limp and give up. If it doesn’t work out and you still feel sorry for yourself and want someone to fix the situation for you, then it’s time to get angry! Get angry at yourself, at the offender - you have a feeling self-esteem and pride, after all. A feeling of anger helps you part with what is no longer relevant - people, situations and your past self, and take a step forward.

Now step over to new level– from suffering and pity to activity. The search for new ideas, goals, hobbies, just interests, impressions should occupy your brain and your strength. Learn to live in the present and not return your thoughts to worries about the past. Look for new joys and opportunities in your current situation. Use your time to your advantage, don't waste yours life to useless experiences. You probably have needs, hobbies and goals that you have completely forgotten about. It's time to implement them!

Probably the most difficult experience in a person’s life is grief associated with loss. When losing someone very close, people feel that the meaning of life is now lost. The joy disappears, an unbearable ringing emptiness is felt inside. But it is possible to survive the loss. You will return to life, although not immediately.

Stages of bereavement

Of all the creatures inhabiting the planet, only people bury their loved ones. This has a special meaning: all those who have passed live in the memory of their loved ones. Stages of experience heartache can be described as follows:

Shock and denial. The person simply cannot believe what happened. What is happening seems unreal. The brain protects itself through shock so that the full weight of the experience does not fall on the person overnight. Soon anger may appear, which is produced so that negative emotions have an outlet.

Disbelief and search. The person still cannot believe it and is looking for a solution to the situation. It seems that as soon as you turn a corner, the one you lost will meet you as if nothing had happened. A certain feeling of the unreality of events remains. Usually this stage occurs a few days after the incident.

Acute grief. This is the most difficult stage, during which you often want to shout: “Help me survive the grief!”, because the condition seems completely hopeless, it is very painful and it is unclear how to cope with it. But the stage of acute grief does not last longer than 2-3 months. After them, emotions begin to subside, the pain of loss gradually decreases. This is a turning point in the experience.

Periodic returns of experiences. At this stage, the person seems to become the same, but from time to time he still experiences acute experiences, they unexpectedly return, still very intense. Over time they become less and less common.

The end of the experience. After a while sharp pain leaving.

Even though the pain seems unbearable, you need to experience all stages of grief. Don't try to suppress your emotions, accept that there is no shortcut on this road.

How to get through grief and learn to live again

It is impossible to skip some steps of experiencing, and no one can answer the question of how to learn not to worry.

Realize reality. Talk about how you feel with loved ones or a psychologist. Keep a diary. You are experiencing deep emotions, this is a lot of stress for the psyche. You need to learn to let go of everything that is happening inside.

No one can share your feelings, but you are not alone. Grief happens to every person on Earth. No matter how strong your emotions are, you can cope; this is a feasible burden for a person.

Don't sit idle. The person you lost was an important part of your life. In its place there is now a kind of emptiness. Try to fill it with something: your favorite thing, work, hobbies, travel or something else.

Don't isolate yourself, communicate with friends and family. Despite the fact that sometimes you need to be alone, you cannot completely close yourself off from communication.

0 Young people know a lot of different jargons and slang expressions. However, in different parts countries, the meaning of words differs from each other. Some young people, hearing the word “Forget” for the first time, begin to wonder what does "kill" mean in one context or another. Many people have always believed that nails can be driven in, and do not understand at all what is at stake in a particular case. I recommend reading interesting articles on the topic of fashion slang, for example, who is Anti-Stylist, what does Beauty mean, how to understand the word Brutal, what is Sticker Bombing, etc.

Score(to pass) means to give up something, to miss something. In addition, Forget it can mean a desire to stop worrying about something (for example, about an exam)

For example, you can forget about the lecture, forget about homework, score the lab.

The meaning of the jargon "To score"

Why didn't you go on a date yesterday?

Yes, I was just too lazy to trudge through this weather and I gave up on this matter.

Let's play on the computer tomorrow and score the first pair?

Second meaning. In junkie jargon, to clog means to fill a joint with weed (plan).

You filled this joint badly, it won’t light up!

Third meaning. In gangster jargon, to score means to make a final decision, to arrange a meeting.

Well, okay, we gave up on this (the phrase is an analogue of “that’s what they decided on”).

Fourth meaning. In youth slang, to score means to ignore.

I completely gave up on him!

Fifth meaning. To forget means to forget about a person, event, incident, and also to change the topic of conversation.

You've got to give up on him already!

Sixth value. In youth slang, scoring means getting a tattoo.

She hit her entire shoulder!

Seventh meaning. In thieves' jargon, Zabit means to pick up, take a turn, sell.

If you don't know how to stop thinking about a guy, we will help you with this. The action plan is scheduled for two weeks, where each day is devoted to a specific activity.

How to score on a guy: action plan

If you want to be sad and mourn the situation, then the first day can be made a day of crying. Tears protect against negativity and allow you to get rid of accumulated emotions. You can listen to your favorite song, watch videos and photos, etc.

The second day puts an end to former relationship. Everything is in the trash, gifts, CDs, things, photos without pity are in the trash. There is no need to leave or give anything back. In the trash can, period.

Cleansing the soul, thoughts and body. We make an aromatic bath with salt and oils, soak, warm up, and then descend, opening the plug. When the water leaves, we imagine that sorrows, sorrows, and a past life go along with it on a journey through the pipes.

We minimize communication with mutual friends to avoid meeting and discussing this situation.

It is believed that a woman does new hairstyle when it starts new life. Go to the hairdresser and don't be afraid to experiment.

Let's go in for sports or exotic dancing. Exercising makes you feel happy due to the release of endorphins, the hormone of happiness.

Now that there is no need for a couple to go to cafes and bars, drink beer and eat fast food, you can take care of proper nutrition and lose a few kilos.

If you can’t get rid of thoughts about your boyfriend, you need to plan a series of activities that will not leave free time for “bad” thoughts.

In addition to sports, you can go shopping, which will help update your wardrobe, improve your mood and make your image brighter.

New love will help cross out all past experiences. It's time to party, with bright makeup and a joyful mood. Go ahead, preparation requires manicure, pedicure, makeup, etc.

What else can you do to forget your boyfriend? Get involved in your studies or career. After all, it is because of him that you are her Lately abandoned. Precisely because of emotional and love experiences.

Now is the time to catch up. Shine in your place and then, firstly, your self-esteem will rise, and secondly, you will have less time to remember the guy and suffer about it!

Start cleaning the apartment. It is necessary to wipe all the dust off the shelves; there are probably a lot of souvenirs there that were given to them. Select a separate box, or the farthest drawer of the table, into which you practically never look, and put in it everything that reminds you of ex-boyfriend. All your photos together, all his gifts and cards.

By the way, at this stage, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to erase all his SMS and mms from the phone. The best way to forget a guy. Then, someday, you will find all this, and these trinkets will bring back only pleasant memories for you. Someday, but not now.

In general, the most The best way forgetting one guy means finding another! Go to discos and walk in parks, visit museums and cinemas, meet guys and flirt with them.

Now you can not only do this, for the first time in the last nth period of time, but it is simply necessary. There are a lot of wonderful guys on your street, in your district, in your city, and each of them will happily help you forget the guy, even if he himself doesn’t even know about it!

Natalya Tolstaya advises:

Do you know what you can’t forget? But you can change your attitude:

Open your heart to new feelings:

Don't make these mistakes: