Obstacles on the way to the goal. Are they needed?

Sometimes you have to fight with yourself for happiness...

Let's be like Tom and Jerry, we'll quarrel every day, but never part... I can't live without you...

Just because a person is strong doesn’t mean he doesn’t get hurt.

If something can be proven by deeds, then there is no need to waste words on it.

If you let someone into your life, for some reason he begins to think that he has become its master...

Don't give 101 roses to a girl who doesn't appreciate it, give them to your mother...

When you meet a person for the first time, you never know how long he will stay in your life. People come and go...drink coffee with you...laugh...wake you up with text messages...love...hurt...lie...And no matter how much it hurts, someday I will sit down, close my eyes and forgive them for everything.

Love that survives separation is rewarded with eternity.

Sometimes one song is enough to remember everything.

Everyone has such a person in their life, after whom you change. And it doesn’t matter at all whether it was boundless happiness or crazy pain. You just understand that you will no longer be the same as before.

It's good when you're 4 years old. You can take the broken remote control and call your mom...

And sincerity... No one refused it, but let's give it to those who appreciate it. Throwing it around in order to prove your superiority to someone, like, look what a heart I have, or to change someone else - impenetrable - in this way... Nonsense! Those who don’t want to see the light will never see it, even if the whole world is hung with spotlights, it’s useless

Saving is when you erase words to fit into one SMS, and if, nevertheless, the text is two, then you figure out what else to add so that the space is not wasted: D

Don't wait until you graduate from college to have children.
Stop waiting until you start working, when you retire, when you get married, when you get divorced. Don't wait for Friday evening, Sunday morning, shopping new car, new apartment. Don't wait for spring, summer, autumn, winter. Moments of happiness are precious, it is not the final destination of the journey, but the journey itself. Work - not just for money, love - not in anticipation of parting. Dance - not paying attention to the looks. The most terrible mistake What you can do is to chase goals all your life, not noticing how your life is passing you by..

It is difficult to understand how to behave with a person who does not hold and does not let go.

The best time is before bed. When you lie alone with your thoughts and dreams.

-Do you want me to leave? - He asked. -Want. - She answered without hesitation. - Fuck you. - He said and hugged her...

Your unfinished tea was left on the table. I will follow you for a long time, I will miss you.
And out of habit, I look for your lips in the morning. But I will never return to you. Never

Sometimes people spend their entire lives looking for something, and sometimes they find it in a day. Sometimes we wait, and sometimes we make someone wait for us. Sometimes we meet someone, and it seems to us forever, and sometimes we see them off, and we understand that it was meant to be. Sometimes we strive to communicate, expand our circle of acquaintances, we are in a hurry somewhere, we are in a hurry to see someone, and sometimes we just want to close our eyes, and nothing else is needed - just you and the silence that instills peace in your soul and mind. Sometimes we turn off all phones, just so that no one will disturb us, and sometimes we sit surrounded by telephone handsets, unable to breathe, trembling with patience, waiting for one single call. When we leave, we never leave completely, and we leave a piece “in spam” because merging and absorption is the main essence of this game with the proud name “LIFE.” Sometimes we wrap ourselves in a blanket and still can’t get warm, because in fact we are cold not outside, but inside the heart. Sometimes... Sometimes we really need to hear just three words: “Everything will be fine”, someone to cry, ask to stay and not leave you alone. And when leaving I want to hear “stay, stay forever”

It is a rare person who can boast that his feelings for another were always mutual. As the song says: “We choose, we are chosen. How often this doesn’t coincide...” Each time there is such a discrepancy, painful questions arise: “What should I do? What is the right thing to do? Should I pursue the object of my love or should I retreat?”

Love is not a thing that can be discovered, then put in a drawer, locked with a key and kept for a long time. I think that mutual sympathy and affection is something that is born from the constant efforts of everyone, actions aimed at another person, intended specifically for him. That is, a love relationship is not a static reality, but a process that is important to constantly maintain.

If we are talking about struggle, it means that there are obstacles. If the issue is with parents who, for one reason or another, are against your love, you should probably try to defend the right to yours. own feelings, while taking full responsibility for building future relationships and separation from the parental family.

The next obstacle may be everyday problems, such as: distance between lovers, financial problems, housing, etc.. But, as you know, obstacles are just a ghost when it comes to Love. Otherwise, we should talk about a “balanced” approach to building a future destiny, and this is a completely different topic...

Unrequited love: painful anticipation of a call, delight and torment from meetings, excitement, jealousy, tenderness, hope and despair. And the constant darkness of desire and inability to change anything. And I really want something to happen: either to bewitch him (her) forever, so that it doesn’t go anywhere, or to uproot this torment from my soul.

Certainly, unrequited love exhausting. Should I neglect my pride, begging for attention, earning favor, seeking reciprocity? Or leave with your head held high, relying on your self-esteem and pay for it by plunging into the abyss of despair? Unrequited love is like a trap from which no way out is good and it seems that nothing depends on you.

It happens that a person’s life turns into an endless struggle for an “object,” an exhausting race for “personal happiness,” which destroys all other connections, relationships, destroys the person himself, and drives him to complete despair.

Before you throw yourself headlong into the struggle for the “elusive” object of love, ask yourself: why is this person so important (needed, vital) to me, who doesn’t even look in my direction? What do I really want - recognition, respect, care from him, confirmation of my personal exclusivity? What will happen the moment I achieve what I want? How will it be for me? When you have answered all the questions honestly, it may turn out that the “struggle for personal happiness” is a struggle with... own complexes, the desire to prove one’s worth and overcome obstacles...

The question is not whether to fight for your happiness or not; it is much more important to regain your inner freedom. And then it may turn out that unrequited love is an exciting, wonderful, life-giving experience, regardless of how your relationship develops. Or maybe it’s important to let go of what doesn’t work out, mourn this loss and look for your person, for whom you will become the most valuable, the closest. Or it may happen that, having stopped demanding from fate the immediate fulfillment of all your desires, you will be able to build a relationship with this person that is meaningful for both of you.

Galina is twenty-seven, and, according to most contemporaries, this is not yet age at all.
But Galina has a different opinion on this matter. She feels much older than her years and increasingly catches herself thinking that the best half of her life is already behind her. Love, joy, expectation of a miracle, hope for happiness - everything is in the past.

In the present there is only duty and struggle.
At Galina's - six year old son with severe birth trauma. A husband who was simply ideal at first, to such life's trials turned out to be not ready. Just six months after the birth of such a long-awaited son, he moved Galina and the child to her mother, and he himself began to build his life with clean slate. Then Galya was still confident that she would rehabilitate the child, no matter what the cost. He will crawl out of his skin, turn himself inside out, find the most the best doctors, will study from morning to night. Her son will definitely be healthy. And bio dad... Well, God is his judge.

Unfortunately, not everything in this life is in our control.
Although Galina has done and is doing a lot, her boy still remains a “special” child. And he will never be like everyone else.
Gala's mother sympathizes with her, her sister supports her, her friends help her out, but her life is very, very difficult. She cannot work because there is no one to look after her son. They live on penny alimony and state benefits, and the money that Galina’s relatives and friends give her from time to time. Everyone feels very sorry for her - Galya is entirely a child. Feedings, procedures, classes, massages, walks... Women the same age make careers, engage in interesting hobbies, travel, go to theaters and restaurants, discuss hairstyles and heels, and most importantly, communicate with the opposite sex, fall in love, get married. Galina gave up on her personal life a long time ago.
Well, who needs her, with such and such a child, poor, problematic, as if she herself was bedridden...

But recently, while walking, as usual, late in the evening with a stroller in the park, so as not to attract close attention to her child, Galina met Yuri. The young man was with a dog.
The child drew attention to the dog, the owner called the dog, and a meaningless conversation ensued.
On the second day, as it should be, we met again by chance and greeted each other like old acquaintances.
And on the third day they exchanged phone numbers and agreed to go for a walk together.

In general, soon Galina could no longer imagine how she had lived before without Yura, who surrounded her and her son with care and love.
Galina began to smile, became prettier, and suddenly felt like she was twenty-seven, and not fifty, like everyone else last years. With the appearance of Yuri in their lives, suddenly many problems became easily solved. He brings bags of delicacies for Galina, which they have long lost the habit of, willingly takes her and her child on various errands in his car, bought Galina washing machine in exchange for them and their mother, who was completely worn out... But it’s not about the machine, of course. Although Galina is shocked and touched in a way that a truck with roses probably would not have touched her. The point is the care that the man suddenly showed towards Galina.
And just like that - Galina really liked Yuri.
Of course, it’s too early to talk about anything - only a couple of months have passed since they met. And yet, Galina’s worldview became completely different. It turns out she might have it too woman's happiness. Well, at least theoretically. Of course, nothing is clear or understandable yet; it’s too early to guess how things will turn out in the future. Nevertheless, the relationship exists, it is developing, and this greatly supports Galina on her difficult path in life...

And a week ago, a lady suddenly showed up at Galina’s place and introduced herself as Yuri’s mother.
In short, the potential “mother-in-law” is categorically against their relationship, and will do everything so that her son, as she puts it, comes to his senses.
Well, because it doesn’t fit in my head - a wealthy, with an apartment, with a car, smart, magnificent in all respects young man and Galya, second-hand, and even with his own... uh... makeweight. Why should her son Yuri raise a child who will never become normal?
Rave. She is a mother, raised her son alone, invested everything in him - now she has the right to expect NORMAL grandchildren.
And he asks Galina to come to her senses and leave her son alone. Better in a good way.
Otherwise, Yuri’s mother said, she will do everything, she will die, but she will not allow such a misalliance anyway.

It was as if Galina had been doused with a tub of icy water.
On the one hand, it’s offensive to the point of tears, on the other... well, the aunt is right. Galya and her son are not a gift to anyone at all.
And Galina, like no one else, knows that her child is a heavy cross, which not everyone can bear. Why do they need Yuri? And if he can't stand it, just like Galin ex-husband, will merge in six months, and during this time Galina will become attached, fall in love, and suffer. Moments of joy will have to be paid for with hours of pain and humiliation. So is it worth starting, almost certainly knowing that it will not be easy? besides, it is now known for sure that their relationship will be diligently put in the way.
And the child? He also seems to be starting to get attached to Yuri. Don't they have enough problems already?
Maybe we should stop all this before it goes too far? Just break it off without explaining anything, and especially, of course, without informing Yuri about his mother’s visit. Every cricket knows its nest. Well, what kind of men are Galina in her position? It's better not to flatter yourself.

You're crazy! - Galina’s sister, who accidentally found out about the matter, cannot calm down. - He likes you! and he for you! What does his mother have to do with it?.. Well, yes, she is against it, like many mothers in her place, probably. But this is a great chance for you! You deserve happiness! Fight for him! You never know who will say something, what are you talking about! You can't give up. Don’t you dare push Yura away, do you hear?

Indeed, you need to fight for happiness, don’t you think?
Intrigue, hypocrisy and go ahead? Will the happiness achieved in this way be real?
Tell Yuri about the visit of the “mother-in-law” - let him deal with her himself, or is it not worth it?
End the relationship?
Continue as if nothing had happened, and then - how will it turn out?
What should I do? What do you think?

In my opinion, what you received is quite natural. I don’t think that your husband is rude because he is a redneck himself. Otherwise he would not have become your husband. Without justifying it in any way, nevertheless, you yourself provoked this situation. They set (consciously or subconsciously - another conversation) a high bar for him “what he must do to win your favor.” He "conquered" you. But it turned out that you don’t love him. Expectations were not met. It's a shame. This resentment results in irritation and even rudeness. I agree, I agreed myself, I jumped myself, and therefore, it seems, I shouldn’t be offended by anything. In theory. But in practice, this behavior of his means that he is still trying to somehow change the situation. IN better side. But now you are “raising the bar” again. Only in a negative sense. Now all his actions are counted against him.

But the whole point is that you simply don’t love him. And from the very beginning they didn’t like me. They just did things" loving woman"But form can rarely replace content. Then why continue this masochism further? You don’t get any pleasure for yourself from such a life. Neither does he. Then get a divorce. Believe me, it will be better for both of you.

And what “to fight for happiness or not” is an extremely controversial and ambiguous question. In my opinion, a woman who initially positions herself as “I won’t run after anyone, they should run after me” is worthy only of pity. Because from the very beginning it positions itself as a soulless thing. The door lock doesn't care who opens it. The main thing is that the key fits. By the way, as a rule, such people with such “high standards” are actually trying to disguise the lack of content. For it usually turns out that behind the external façade “there is nothing worthwhile.”

IMHO 04/06/2007 12:25:49, Leshy

Another question - WHY DID HE ACHIEVE HER????? Maybe she believed that he loved HER. And he was only trying to achieve a façade(((((No need to say that she was initially wrong - where was he at that time????? And, on the other hand, she loves someone else for many years until she achieves him , although it seems to her that she loves him. If she starts to achieve that first thing, where is the guarantee that he will not believe her, will meet her halfway, but it turns out that she, too, was only carried away by the façade, and did not have a thorough idea about the daily side-o - side of life with him. All these are theoretical arguments. In general, I am inclined to think that you can get along with any person, just take the first one you come across and live with him, only you must mutually follow the rules. And love is also a thing that, according to the rules you can play. So, IMHO, it’s all in the head. If you want happiness, make it better with the one next to you. Because if what’s in your head today, then everything will be the same with anyone else. You need to change your head, not men. IMHO)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 04/06/2007 13:55:18, weterok

I understood everything except this:
How can I change the situation for the better without fulfilling any of the promises given to me, stopping working, etc.? He makes it worse, yes. And what kind of negative bar has I raised? For me, my bar in relation to my husband has dropped nowhere lower
04/06/2007 12:34:54, I won’t introduce myself

Pardon my cynicism, but, roughly speaking, an informal agreement was concluded between you. You positioned yourself as a smart, beautiful, sexy, gentle and caring woman, “who doesn’t agree to get along with just anyone.” Thus, you outlined the rule for participation “in the tender” - you will go with the one who offers the most profitable terms. He agreed to play by these rules. That's why he made "promises". He believed in them himself! The deal was done, you married him.

What do we have now?

1. Disappointment on your part - I deceived you and did not fulfill your promises. I do not like.

2. There is also disappointment on his part - she deceived her, charged an exorbitantly high price for literally nothing, because the devil is like someone else’s.

Those. If we talk about deception, then you both deceived each other. You encouraged him to give you more and more advances. So now there is no need to say that you have absolutely nothing to do with it, that he himself promised everything. Moreover, you promised him love, but you didn’t give it to him. And, formally, according to the terms of the agreement, he may not pay “for a service not provided.”

You see, in essence, you continue to step on the old rake. And he, in your opinion, should be happy that the woman married him, but instead of love, he only expresses dissatisfaction - where is the fulfillment of material promises? You are very wrong to think so.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you at all. I'm not God. Everyone goes their own way. I view the situation only from the position of personal comfort. True, in its broadest sense, including principles, morals and ethics. So, in order to raise the level of psychological comfort in your life, it is better for you to divorce this man. Not because he is bad and you are good, or vice versa. But only because the agreement itself is initially erroneous, and this error is systemic. 04/06/2007 12:49:21, Leshy