Evil status. Caustic statuses with sarcasm
Be sure to keep your childhood photographs. Suddenly, one day you will have to prove that you became a bastard and were not born.
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I'm smarter than an elephant - at least I don't drink water from a puddle with my nose.
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So what if the wind is in your head - but your thoughts are always fresh.
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I am against the assertion that only idiots hang out on the Internet... there are many interesting, smart, talented, beautiful souls people... Me, for example... And the slight crazyness... it’s even piquant.
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You can go from yourself to yourself all your life... And at some point you can get such a kick from life that you quickly find your place in it... and yourself at the same time...
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I didn't go through face control at the zoo!
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When I... am visited by INSPIRATION... other visitors... are no longer allowed into the ROOM...
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Today I... put on makeup in the morning... And looking in the mirror, I began to cry: Oh, you are a terrible force... BEAUTY!!! And more SCARY than... POWER
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- How old are you?
- Oh, I'm already old! I still lived in a time when “bitch” was an insult, not a compliment.
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No consistency... either I'm hysterical... or in the clouds... Airborne seizure...
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All ladies are like ladies, and I am like a horse in a blanket.
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The doctor told me not to be nervous... Not at all, that is. At all. Under no circumstances. Now this is the third day and I’m not nervous... I’m not nervous with all my might. It just fucking infuriates me, no matter how nervous I am.
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I am not lying!!! I'm just imagining things...
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I look in the mirror... it seems like nothing... beautiful... I come closer, take a closer look... oh my... GODDESS
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And again the lesson is not for the future,
The same rake - in the same forehead,
In the same place, into a puddle - bang!
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HOW GOOD it is to be alone in the apartment... smearing mascara in the morning, eating mushrooms from a jar with your hands and not keeping your back straight...
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My cheerful disposition and unbridled optimism often resemble complete idiocy...
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I recently read in scientific journal that ideal appearance is not photogenic. OH, I THINK I'M TOO PERFECT.
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Off to do good...
I really hope no one gets hurt...
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Before I do anything, I ask myself: “What would my cat do in my place?” As a result, I either eat or go to bed...
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I can easily and naturally roll up balls to any beauty... in a bowling alley!
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Everything is fine with me... I just sometimes doubt... No, not that it’s good... That I have...
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They gave me a car... Now I’m not just a participant in a traffic jam, I’m its organizer...
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Don't offer friendship! Just get married! Briefly about yourself: Magical all over!
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The phrase: “Get off your phone already!” I hear more often than my name.
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I’m a very good cook... I can cook noodles... Brew porridge... Add oil... In general, I’m a clever wizard...
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Something is cockroaches in my head Lately behave defiantly... In order to suppress their uprising, they had to hire a squirrel. It’s quiet so far, but... it seems the squirrel is up to something with the cockroaches.
I got you! Now imagine what it’s like for me. Alone with myself. 24 hours. 7 days a week. And you're not going anywhere
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I’m still going anywhere, I’m just dreaming of peace!
And I’m quite happy with this life!
And may someone be born under a lucky star,
Well, I was born... under a comet!...
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I am often asked if I can seriously and frankly post my thoughts and feelings in statuses. I answer seriously and honestly: “I perform soul striptease very rarely!”
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Yes, people don’t spend as long in prison as I do on the Internet!
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I'm not the wonderful romantic dork I try to appear to be. A boring, prudent bloke.
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I constantly do two things: lie and sleep with Angelina Jolie...
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My husband... finds me... in shopping centers... based on SMS reports from a bank card...
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Do you think my childhood is playing in my butt? No, you're wrong, there's a whole kindergarten settled.
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I admit my mistakes... Brilliant...
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If it weren't for the wheel on the mouse, I wouldn't have any physical activity did not have …
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It’s already evening... And I still don’t want to do so much...
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A drop like Me... can overflow... the cup of any patience
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I realized that my wife drives a car better than me! I can’t move with the handbrake, but she drove around all day...
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Treat me with HUMOR, I still won’t say anything sensible...
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How fast life flies! More and more “never” appear... I will never jump with a parachute, I will never get rich again, I will never wear that frivolous dress... One thing consoles me: I will still have time to do a lot of stupid things!
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I will answer questions only in the presence of my personal psychiatrist!
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They say that Russian rock is loved by drunkards and thinkers. It's embarrassing to admit, but I don't drink...
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I'm going to work today. At the hairdresser: “Haircut 300 rubles, details from the administrator.” At the car show: “3% discount for everyone, contact the manager for details.” Well, in the morning I put a sign on the table: “I’m evil! My husband has the details!”
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Evil is me at 6 am
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I hope that in the New Year I will stop feeling like a workhorse, and will become a little pony that everyone looks after...
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Sometimes such smart thoughts come into your head that you feel like a complete idiot.
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The ability to shut up in time is a great and invaluable talent, unfortunately, I do not possess it.
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Today I met a person with the same character as me... It’s hard to admit it, but YES... I wanted to strangle this infection after just 10 minutes.
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There are people who don’t know me at all... THEY ARE BAD WITHOUT ME... PROBABLY...
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Three important rules:
don't go to the store hungry
on a date - excited
and don't update your drunk status...
Sarcasm is something we rarely do without. modern world. Sometimes you just can’t express your opinion on something in any other way. Sometimes so that no one understands anything, and sometimes so that everyone understands and understands very precisely. What interesting quotes Can you use sarcasm?
Definition
Sarcasm is a type of satire, caustic mockery. Sarcasm is the highest manifestation irony. The basis of sarcasm is not only the contrast between the implied and the expressed, but also the demonstration of the implied. Often, phrases with sarcasm can begin very positively, but most often carry a negative connotation.
Quotes with sarcasm
Often statements of this kind, based on sarcasm, are aimed at the shortcomings of society. Such quotes most often most openly and at the same time somewhat aggressively express the opinion of the speaker.
Black humor and cynical behavior - what else remains smart person in a society of idiots?
Only those who have it go crazy.
Anyone who knows nothing can take on anything.
I knew a man so little read that he had to compose his own quotations from the classics.
Take care of yourself - what if I need you?
Sarcasm is a natural defensive reaction of the psyche against the stupidity of others.
Do you mind if I smoke?
You know, I don’t care even if you shoot yourself.
Sometimes the statements are quite elegant, their quality is much higher.
For a man to find something in the refrigerator, it must be at eye level and it is advisable to run along the shelf, attracting attention to itself.
I don't know about you, but for me nerve cells not only are they recovering, but they are also trying to take revenge on those responsible for their deaths.
I will give you a manual called “How to Answer phone call" or "Oh, that mysterious green button!"
I'm often wrong, sorry, perfect people!
It is not enough to have wit, you also need to be able to avoid its consequences.
Life experience is a lot of valuable knowledge about how not to behave in situations that will never happen again.
Makeup is an attempt to paint on your face the face of another, much more beautiful woman.
Lord, we broke up, I’ll go crazy and throw myself off the chair.
Sarcasm: quotes and aphorisms
The skill of some people in sarcastic statements leads to the appearance of quotes that become aphorisms. For example, these are quotes from Faina Ranevskaya:
Optimism is a lack of information.
There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
Loneliness is a condition that you have no one to tell about.
Many people complain about their appearance, but no one complains about their brains.
The woman is, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
Do you know what it's like to act in a movie? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and they take you on a tour there.
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
I do the hardest part before breakfast. I get out of bed.
There are no fat women, only small clothes.
I noticed that if you don’t eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, or drink beer with fish, your face becomes smaller, but sadder.
Sarcasm in music
Interestingly, sarcasm can sometimes be found even in music. And not just in popular songs or in the text of some rapper, but in real operas. Of course, the brilliant composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was a master of ridicule, a master of irony. The most different facets of humor from light irony (in the aria “Frisky Boy” - video No. 1 from 45:00) to real sarcasm in the duet of Suzanne and Marcelina, in which they openly quarrel, driving each other to white heat (No. 1 from 22 :00). And in general, the entire opera based on the plot of Beaumarchais is aimed at ridiculing the vices and stupidity of the aristocrats and emphasizing the intelligence of the third estate. And the very plot of one day in the life of Figaro only leaves you wondering how it was even possible to come up with this and twist everything like that?
Below is the opera in Italian, there are Russian subtitles, they can be turned on in the settings.
We present to your attention another opera. She is full of sarcastic remarks.
Among the Russian composers there was also an outstanding master of sarcasm, Alexander Sergeevich Dargomyzhsky, a younger contemporary of Mikhail Ivanovich Glinka and one of the founders of Russian national school. Probably even Mozart would envy Dargomyzhsky’s mastery of sarcasm. The difficult fate of the innovative composer led to the fact that he often resorted to irony, including evil irony. But what role does expressive intonation, which the great and mighty Russian language is so rich in, play in conveying sarcasm? Dargomyzhsky enriched the musical language with speech intonations, both in his romances and in operas. A visual aid to this is “The Stone Guest” based on “A Little Tragedy” by Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. The opera is written to the poet's unchanged text, and expressive speech patterns are complemented by musical intonation.
Sarcasm hovers in the opera from the appearance of the main characters Don Giovanni and Leporello, especially in the latter's lines.
Sarcasm is an integral part of language and worldview. Probably, without this phenomenon, life would be a little boring.
Sarcasm is a real art. It's quite difficult to describe in simple words, but it is quite possible to express it in some phrases. We present to your attention selected statuses with sarcasm.
Don't let others judge you - do it yourself
- If you notice that you are being lied to, politely ask the person to be more artistic.
- Have you been unable to find reciprocity in your relationship with a girl for a long time? Go outside and feed a stray dog. That's where you get reciprocity!
- I don’t always prefer to answer the phone. And I get terribly angry if I find out that someone else is doing this.
- If you are offended by your significant other, then either lie down together and wake up in the morning in an embrace, or sit and develop a plan for revenge.
- What, honey, were you distracted by someone else? Don't be distracted by me now!
- It turns out that people with poor eyesight cannot believe in miracles. They can't see love at first sight.
- I thank the grandmothers at the entrance for spreading surprisingly loyal rumors.
- Everyone has a person who has completely ruined their life. And everyone has their own person.
The tongue will lead to sarcasm
Statuses about sarcasm are designed for when you want to explain everything quickly, and at the same time - a large number of people. The following phrases will allow you to make the most subtle, and at the same time, the most appropriate hints.
- Don't be too offended by the swearing. Maybe it's in my principles...
- Whenever you do something stupid, remember that someone once took out a loan to pay for a wedding.
- Don't be afraid of "under-the-bed" monsters. Give them a bag of chips that you eat while watching a TV series, and they won't eat you.
- Why should a man worry about appearance, if he has already put on whole clean socks...
- Don't be offended by my sarcasm. This is how I defend myself from your stupidity.
- Appropriate jokes were invented in order to protect someone from suffering, and someone even from suicide.
- Do you know why guys make girls laugh so often? Because a laughing woman usually doesn’t understand much!
- I have so little strength that I don’t even want to pick myself up from the floor.
How much hatred there is sometimes in the phrase “Everything is fine”
A good phrase can replace not only status, but even a full-fledged psychologist. Enjoy short statuses with sarcasm!
- A person should be the only one, not the best.
- Knowing the price does not mean appreciating it.
- Don't look at your enemies, look further.
- Meet, meet. You'll break up anyway.
- Not knowing your worth is sometimes bad.
- TV series are the drug of the new generation.
- Finding tar is more difficult than finding honey. But we succeed.
- In life, avoid idiots and extra calories.
- The truth won't bring you friends.
- Most often, the impact on the rake occurs unnoticed.
- There is always insincere hatred between lovers.
- Accept that everyone is talking about each other.
- You can test the depth with only one foot.
- Not to promise also requires strength.
- The more friends a person has, the better he lies.
- A secret for two. The third one will destroy it.
If you have a disgusting character, you leave no one indifferent
Funny statuses with sarcasm are definitely not for the faint of heart. We warn you that not all of your friends on social networks may like them.
- As soon as they start ignoring me, I involuntarily catch myself thinking that they are simply enjoying me.
- I wish all my enemies long life to their annoying relatives!
- Conscience often contradicts logic. I develop the second, and mostly ignore the first.
- It’s not baggy clothes that make you look fat, but the “porky” portion.
- All children are born a little strange. Most adults remain this way.
- Don't lie to your parents. But there are some parents who can kill you for a certain kind of truth.
- I don't want to seem intrusive, but I would be glad to never meet you again.
- An unloved colleague did not come to work and fell ill. Let him recover quickly, who should we throw mud at...
There's nothing more annoying than love at first sight
Almost everyone has exes with whom, to put it mildly, it was not a good break up. In order to speak correctly on the topic, there are statuses about love with sarcasm.
- When looking at a loved one, the pupils dilate slightly. Especially when looking at yourself, your loved one.
- Jealousy is bad. For the hair of that miguera who dared to look at him.
- Yes, I loved her. But this cannot mean that I loved no one besides her.
- Before building a relationship brick by brick, take care of the protection of building materials.
- Love is something that is not worth looking for. All its charm is in surprise.
- “I love you”: so few words, but so many different problems...
- The strongest relationships are those where respect prevails. Love can ruin a lot of things.
- There is definitely a soulmate somewhere, but if you are made to be stupid, you will lose it as soon as you meet it.
- I'm ready to do anything for her. No, not for that, and certainly not for that. Come on, it’s not bad to live alone...
Sarcasm statuses are a great opportunity to show a sense of humor. Therefore, quickly install the phrase you like.
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Incident in the theater. Performance for children. The moment where the main villain is about to appear - the lights are turned off, the orchestra is buzzing warily. there is silence in the hall. And then such a thin child’s voice: “Fuck your mother!” How scary!!!"
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Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why beautiful women are more successful than the smart ones?
- This is obvious, because there are very few blind men, and stupid ones are a dime a dozen.
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Be who you are. The rest will be attributed to you.
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Those who say that you can’t eat at night, let them try to explain why they invented the light in the refrigerator!!!
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The question is not whether to marry this man or not. The question is what to do with the rest???
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Judging by the weather, the scarecrow of Maslenitsa still survived, and now, the bitch, he’s taking revenge on us!))
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Advice: Do you want to prove to your husband that men are looking at you! Walk a little ahead of your husband and stick your tongue out at every guy passing by. Success guaranteed!!!
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My husband is 35 years old, and in “classmates” his classmates are 25-30. Lord, how difficult it was for him to study, he stayed in the second year so many times...
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A friend in need is a friend indeed! And my husband... is on maternity leave!!!
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The solar circle, the sky around - this is a drawing by a boy. A naked woman, vodka, a barbecue—it was the boy’s father who helped him.
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To the question: “How many men have you had?” I answer honestly, hand on heart: “Not one. But asshole..."
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Women don't like nice and open people. They love to open closed worlds and re-educate demons.
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Girl: “There are no princes, only horses reach us!”
Guy: “The fact is that princes go to princesses, and horses go to horses.”
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You suck your stomach in more... and you seem thinner...
What should I do to look smarter?
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In general, you know how sexy I am... when I slobbered on a pencil at school, the boys lost consciousness...))
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There is nothing more alien than your former...
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So, as an athlete, tell me: arrows shoot, swords throw, and darts...?
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If you have sex all day long, you can really waste your life.
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In disputes, the most boring one wins.
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A smoked cigarette shortens your life by 2 hours, a drunk bottle of vodka shortens your life by 3. A working day shortens your life by 8 hours.
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Do you want change??? - go to school. there are changes every 45 minutes...))))))) Ironic statuses
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Judges, once retired, are constantly poking around in the garden. Not for the sake of the harvest, they simply cannot help but plant.
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...SMS to my wife: “Abducted by aliens... They are experimenting on me... They have already doused me with perfume, smeared me with lipstick, scratched my whole back, took my money. They promised to let me go in an hour!!!
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Life is like the tide of the sea - today you are on the wave, and tomorrow you are floundering in shallow water.
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The husband drank for eight days in a row until his wife decided to mark Friday off the calendar...
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- You have 14 children - is this a family tradition?
- No, our tradition is different, and children are a side effect.
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Only in Russian “Do you want to drink?” not a question, but a SUGGESTION!
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There are SO MANY “necessary” things in my purse that if a pickpocket wants to get into it, he will most likely hang himself out of grief!)
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Men brag about fictitious victories, women keep quiet about real ones...))
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You can immediately feel the difference in the age of the bride and groom. The groom's children's photos are all black and white, and the bride's are digital...
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The phrase “Let’s remain friends” is the same nonsense as, for example, “I’m tired of you dog, let you be my cat”!
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What do I care about snow, what do I care about heat, what do I care about torrential rain, when a maniac is running after me...
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The eyes are afraid, and the hands are dirty!
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I can’t resist self-criticism solely due to the fact that I have a sweet tooth and a gourmet))
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- Why, the more you drink, the more beautiful the opposite sex is? - The body thinks that it is being poisoned and is urgently trying to continue its race.
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Every self-respecting schizophrenic is obliged to discuss current problems with himself, his loved one, from time to time.
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I don't take ANYTHING personally!!! ...except Money!!! ...)))
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“Magic logs” in your own eyes do not prevent you from looking at the “specks” in the eyes of other people...
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How hard it is to be polite when you are right!
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Marvelous!!! How many things can happen on the night from Friday to Monday.
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The husband saw the little guy under his wife's bed - the little guy was wearing a cap and holding his pants in his hands.
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Fate, like a woman, should be surprised good ending and a sudden turn.
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Men! If all women are bitches and bitches... sleep with dogs - they are man's friends!
Ironic statuses
And I look and understand that the guy with the brains is much more interesting guy With relief press and tubercles muscles.
This true love There is no way to treat humanity without sarcasm.
It has been noticed that many people love popular expression“Fuck you, fuck you” doesn’t hit so painfully and painfully nervous system, like a good luck wish thrown with sarcasm.
Would you like to purchase a personal plot of land, measuring one meter by two and three meters deep?
Best status:
“Your sarcasm won’t help you, you great pregnant creature!”
If there is at least one person who can understand all the intricacies of my sensitive soul and understand whether I am truthful or riddled with lies, and whether I have sarcasm, I will gladly meet him halfway, honestly... I’m not lying, lies are useless.
Say hello to your new baby from me... From where, new baby? But of course! Damaged, painted and used...
I have only one serious drawback, but what one! Sheer uncertainty about whether a person will live to see tomorrow if he suddenly dares to upset me today.
Do you have a memory like a gopher’s – 1 MB?!
We may forget what we said, but we will never forget how we felt when we were together...
At your request, give 3000 rubles. at the beauty salon, your husband, looking at you, sighs and gives you 10,000.
Male logic: - So what if he’s wearing earflaps, a padded jacket and felt boots. But it's warm! Women's logic: - Just think - my brains and ass are frozen. But it's beautiful.
Don't blow your lips, friend... you're already big-lipped. That your boyfriend loves me, it's not my fault
There is no need to demonstrate a variant of deficient development
No matter what you think, I’m already halfway to having sex out of pity.
I'm often wrong, sorry, perfect people!
Congratulations on your winning place! No one has ever fallen so low in my eyes.
Has another thought ever crossed your mind?
You remind me of the ocean... You make me just as sick.
– Are you laughing like that or are there horses nearby?
What’s on my mind won’t grow to that size in yours!
What long legs you have... Especially the left one.
From point of view logical interpretation I can't ignore the tendencies of paradoxical illusions, but I can say: “Fuck you!”
Leave the excesses of your internal culture for a narrow family circle!
Is your whole body hairy or just your nostrils?
Yesterday the police discovered a corpse without brains and with a small penis. P.S. Honey, call me back, I'm worried!
Madam, where can I get so much vodka?!
Is my butt wider than my shoulders? And your tongue is longer than your pussy!
And on your mighty chest... three hairs seemed like a heap
You smell so nice!!! What did you drink today?
Today I have the feeling that everyone around me has conspired and is playing with me the game “Who will steam me harder today”... I’m already wondering who will win?
If someone has sunk his teeth into your happiness...then he clearly has extra teeth...
My beloved, my only one, I searched and found! Anyone else wouldn't even come near you to shoot. With slanted eyes, drooping lip, with what shackles has fate bound us? Lame, slanting, humpbacked Potato-red nose Snotty, freckled And no hair at all Yes, too fatty Yes, his mouth is distorted. But not a single cholera will take you away!
I write down anyone who “knows how it will be better for me” in a notebook and on the “kill at the start of the war” list.
You were wonderful in bed. The body shape is quite rich, the legs are slender, like those of a GAZELLE, and just as hairy.
So you played Shrek in the movie?
You need to use your brains, kitty, and not your buttocks...
Some people clearly don’t have enough material to build something of themselves
When some people open their mouths, it immediately becomes clear how important it is for a person to receive at least some kind of education
Always tell a woman that she is not like others if you want to get from her what you get from others.(
There are two types of people: some are rolling the world, while others are running alongside and shouting: “God, where is this world going!? "
I don’t know about you, but my nerve cells are not only being restored, but are also trying to take revenge on those who destroyed them.
There have been so many of you so smart in my life! May the kingdom of heaven be upon them!
The war between the left and right hemispheres of the brain. Place your bets, gentlemen.
Don't put on a smart face, you're an officer!
Habit? Nooo, you have a habit of swearing, but brain fucking is your calling!
Don't like my driving style? Get off the sidewalk!
I’d rather fake an orgasm with someone else than fake love with you.
With such a character she could have been more beautiful!
They don’t argue about tastes, they don’t argue at all... especially with tasteless assholes...
I laugh in your face or whatever you have...
Sarcasm is the last trick of shy and chaste-hearted people who are rudely and intrusively pierced into their souls.
You have small eyes, crooked small teeth, a big mouth. You could be called ugly if it weren’t for your smile - it makes you simply disgusting.
What a pity that you are finally leaving!
Stupidity is not a lack of intelligence, it is such intelligence.
You, girl, need to walk on your arms with legs like these!
Meet your principles... you don't change them.
When you wait for a prince on a white horse, as a rule, only the horse comes. And the prince is grazing next to some horse at this time.
Has anyone told you that you are very beautiful? No? Damn, how honest everyone is!
Darling, you were afraid to hurt me by leaving... and I was worried that you wouldn’t catch the Japanese chandelier with your horns
What is this delicious thing you have left in your beard?
He is so silent that you want to take off your clothes...
A cactus is a cucumber deeply disappointed in life.
Your beauty can only be compared to your friend's intelligence!
Girl, what are your beautiful hair! I would even say rare! Very sparse hair.
Well, dolls, it's time to turn into butterflies!
I left the brothel for you!
Every girl should have a nerd to teach her something. This is fine…
You are beautiful, no doubt about it. But I won’t give you money!
I don’t need to demonstrate my intelligence here, I’ve seen it better...
Keep your mouth shut, okay?... - you’ll pass for smart!
I bet you were conceived on a bet!
Given your lack of education, I am ready to answer any questions you may have.
Yes, I am faithful to you. And very often...
Bullshit, it's not worth it! But how it Dangles!
Madam, don't smile, it's scary
A person is 80% fluid. So you have this brake fluid!
I always think well of people. About these evil, brainless bastards.
A true optimist is one who thinks that the Leaning Tower of Pisa originally lay.
Envy spoils people! Although, nothing can spoil you, toad! Envy
I know that you are afraid of disappointing me, but I want to reassure you because my expectations for you are already low!
There’s nowhere to even send you - you’ve already been everywhere...
- Apparently the stork dropped you on the way...
Fate does not allow people like you to rise above the width
All ladies are like ladies, and you are like a horse in a blanket.
Why talk about you, let's talk about pleasant things!
You have beautiful lipstick on your shirt.
Go, go! You still have to earn a cake in the face!
I would send you, but I see that you are from there.
Dude, your ego writes checks that your body can't pay for!
You are playing with forces that are beyond your understanding.
You bastard, be yourself.
If it weren’t for you, I would have considered myself a freak.
It's a pity. - What's a pity? - It’s a pity that they didn’t succeed... - In my opinion, they succeeded. It just ended.(