Correct behavior in society. Rules of etiquette for girls in a public place and in relation to a guy

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Elena Vos
Young lady. Rules of good tone and style for girls

Good manners are better than good principles.

Oscar Wilde

Introduction

Times change, ideas about what is acceptable and what is not are changing, but the rules of etiquette are always relevant.

Good manners, knowledge of the intricacies of communication, dress code rules are a universal way to succeed, get a prestigious job, become interesting interlocutor, to be accepted in the best society, to win the heart of a man and feel harmonious in any situation.

From this book you will learn what should be in a girl's wardrobe, how to meet and introduce yourself first, how to get an invitation on a date. And also: how to behave in the office and at leisure, what is self-presentation and how not to spoil the first impression.

Knowing the rules of etiquette will help you get together for a celebration and choose the right fragrance for the occasion, tell you how to behave at a party and what to answer if you are asked a tactless question.

Etiquette will tell you about accessories and handbags, what you need to know about brands, how to look elegant and get your way on the phone.

You will learn how to build relationships in a new team and write a resume. How to refuse correctly, and you will also learn how to switch to “you”, whether it is worth tipping and what not to do at the bar. How to accept a compliment without blushing and how to maintain female friendship.

Convenient structure of the book (rules of etiquette in alphabetical order from A to Z) will make it easy for you to find necessary information for all occasions.

aristocracy

Aristocracy today is a special, refined, noble demeanor based on impeccable knowledge of etiquette. Distinctive feature aristocratic style - observance of the norms of behavior in society and in the circle of close people, regardless of the situation.

Even when a person is upset or angry, he will not allow himself to be rude or swagger towards others, whatever their status or position. People of the aristocratic circle also do not allow rudeness or familiarity towards themselves.

There are not many people in the world who are aristocrats by birthright. However, any person can develop aristocratic manners if desired, and there are many examples of this in world history.

Aroma

Fragrance can tell about a person no less than clothing or accessories. Finding your scent is not always easy. When choosing, before you buy a bottle, put perfume on your wrist, rub it and ... leave the store.

According to experts, not earlier than an hour later you will know if the smell suits you and how stable it is. The use of special paper strips for applying perfume does not always reflect the real picture.

The basic rule for the use of perfumes and other perfumed products is that they should give you pleasure and not annoy others. The persistent and tart aroma of perfume should not “strike out” and interrupt all the surrounding smells, especially if you are going to a restaurant or to a dinner party.

When choosing a fragrance, it is necessary to take into account the degree of its concentration. Perfume, perfumery, eau de toilette can be presented within one line. Perfume ( perfume) - a product with a concentrated and strong, persistent aroma. They are combined with evening and festive clothes and are not recommended for young people, especially in daytime.

Eau de parfum ( Eau de Parfum) is a less concentrated agent. The fragrance of eau de parfum does not attract excessive attention of others and is therefore ideal for use on a normal weekday. Eau de parfum is also often referred to as daytime perfume. The fragrance of eau de parfum lasts up to 4-5 hours.

Eau de Toilette ( Eau de Toilette) has an even lighter fragrance, which is recommended to be "worn" in the warm season and can be "renewed" during the day. Ideal for young girls. However, it should be remembered that on hot days it is better not to use any perfumes, with the exception of deodorants or antiperspirants (preferably with a neutral smell or without it at all).

It should be borne in mind that perfumes and other fragrant products in the bottle have an expiration date, their aroma may change over time due to contact with air.

If the bottle is less than half full, stored in the light or in a hot place, then the perfume may "turn sour". The shelf life of perfume in the form of sprays and aerosols is almost unlimited.

Do not forget that for each person the perception of the same aroma is individual. Therefore, it is not customary to impose and discuss smells; in relation to a perfumed product, it is only permissible to express one's own attitude to the aroma.

The closer you have to communicate with the interlocutor, the thinner the fragrance should be. In an office, university or college, a bright, tart smell is unacceptable. Particular attention should be paid to the use of perfume in the interview. To meet with strangers and the employer recommends the use of light eau de toilette or unscented deodorant. There are known cases of refusal to hire because of too saturated perfume of the applicant.

Perfume is recommended to be applied to the skin in places of pulsation, on open areas, for example, on the neck, behind the ears, on the wrist, it is permissible - in the hollow on the chest or on the crook of the arm. Do not put perfume on fur. For clothes - better in the evening. Before an evening event, it is permissible to spray perfume, wrap yourself in a cloud of aroma. However, do not spray perfume on stale skin or use fragrances in the bikini area. It is strongly not recommended to mix fragrances and apply several perfume compositions at the same time.

tactless questions

In a situation where the interlocutor has confused you with an impolite or tactless question, do not rush to answer him rudely or leave. It is permissible not to answer a tactless question and make it clear to the interlocutor that you do not intend to discuss the topic. Pretend you didn't hear the question and move the conversation to another topic.

If the question is about personal life and is asked loudly enough that others are interested in the answer, let's say a neutral, polite answer: “I would not like to discuss this topic”, “This concerns me personally”, “I think this topic better not to discuss. Do not give in to emotions and change the tone of communication, the refusal to answer is pronounced in a calm, even tone.

In case you were given a standard for your life situation question, it is permissible to translate the answer into a joke. To the question: "When will you get married?", it is enough to answer: "I will inform you about this first." Impolite relatives often sin with such questions, and it makes no sense to argue with them.

In the case when a tactless question is asked by a well-known person, girlfriend or relative face to face, it is permissible to slightly pull the interlocutor and, demonstrating dissatisfaction, openly ask not to ask such questions. In society, as well as in communication with respected and older people, it is not customary to point out a mistake to a person.

It is not supposed to discuss absent persons, as well as those who made a mistake or got into a difficult situation. However, if you are ready to protect a person, this is always welcome.

Marriage

Guest

A popular form in the 21st century, especially in Western countries, acquired a guest or, in other words, an extraterritorial marriage. In a guest marriage, legal formalities are observed, official, legal registration of partners is carried out. The peculiarity of such a marriage is that the spouses do not live together in the same territory, but only visit each other from time to time. Spouses live on neighboring streets or in different cities- it doesn't matter, the main thing is separate.

This, not quite ordinary form of marriage, has both fans and opponents, who often call such relationships “coming”. Adhering to one point of view or another, you should not criticize, mock or give advice on changing the situation, it is better to accept the circumstances and support the couple.

If in a situation guest marriage got a friend, she needs understanding and support, and not indignation and distrust against her husband.

It is worth distinguishing the reasons for the transition of the family to this form of marriage. Guest marriage can be "by conviction" or "by circumstances". Due to circumstances, young people who do not have their own housing live separately, for example, with their parents, or creative personalities requiring privacy. The quarreling spouses leave without filing a divorce, as if temporarily parting. Sometimes spouses are forced to live in different cities, and sometimes countries for reasons of work and education. Guest marriage is also a popular form of business marriage in which the family resides in country house and the businessman husband visits his family for the weekend.

Such marriages are usually called a newfangled phenomenon, but no less a prime example are Russian noble families, whose heads lived in cities for half a year, and their spouses lived on estates.

If the guest marriage turned out to be forced, it is worth saving emotional connection: write, send SMS and call as often as possible.

Psychologists warn that a guest marriage cannot be considered a trial period for the future. family life. Only a year or two of real coexistence can show the true state of things.

Do not forget that over time, living at a distance reduces intimacy. Not every man will feel married in such a marriage, which means ... and obliged to be faithful, provide for and preserve the family.

Even in a guest marriage, over time, the amount of attention, bouquets and compliments inevitably decreases. If their disappearance is not supported in time with a sense of reliability and friendship, then the guest marriage will have to be terminated.

Having chosen a guest marriage, you should not make excuses to others. If you do not spend your evenings talking about the eternal, this does not mean that you do not love each other.

Due to the fact that the official-formal side of such a marriage is observed, disapproval rarely arises in the environment, more often - bewilderment and curiosity. If the couple is not ready to discuss the situation with others, it is better not to bother with questions, but it will be easy for friends and relatives to keep a good relationship with each member of the family.

For those who wish to congratulate both their wife and husband, for example, with a Christmas card, it is recommended to send two cards, addressing them to each family member and his family.

Having made the decision to move from a guest marriage to a conventional one, the spouse needs to act diplomatically. Do not rush to make a scandal, try to spend more time together, demonstrating a desire to reunite.

Civil

Speaking of the concept civil marriage”, it is necessary to distinguish the legal definition of the concept from the usual colloquial one. Big soviet encyclopedia interpreted civil marriage as a union formalized in state (civil) authorities, but without the participation of the church. Today, in everyday life, this term is understood as actual, but not formalized in the relevant authorities. state power marriage. Thus, most people consider a civil marriage that is not formalized.

A couple living together, but not registering a relationship, determines the status of their relationship by themselves, calling themselves a family or just close people. It is not necessary to clarify the details if a couple publicly calls their life together marriage, and each other husband and wife. In this case, people expect others to understand and agree. The main thing is that this form of cohabitation suits both partners and each of them observes the norms of courtesy and respect for each other.

The practice of unregistered marriage is becoming more and more popular. In the so-called common-law marriage, couples see an opportunity to learn more about each other in the process. life together. The reasons leading to "civil" marriage are different. It is believed that for men this is often an opportunity to evade unnecessary responsibility, a desire to build relationships with a minimum of obligations, doubts about a partner; for women - a manifestation of independence and unwillingness to insist on registering relationships. With the help of an unregistered marriage, women often try to save love, fearing to break the relationship with the presence of an official stamp.

Disputes about the possibilities, benefits and harms in the absence of official registration of relationships often arise in in social networks. Opponents of civil marriage prove the low responsibility of partners and the lack of obligations to each other. When entering into such a discussion or correspondence, it is worth remembering that opinions are different, it is not recommended to kindle thematic battles and use obscene language in relation to opponents who have a different opinion.

Oddly enough, but unregistered cohabitation is not a trend of the present time, it has existed for a long time, often in the relations of people who have already been married. According to historical tradition, parents young man agree to a civil marriage for a child more often than the girl's parents.

When choosing such a marriage, it is worth remembering what difficulties may arise in the family in the event of the birth of a child, as well as in solving property and financial issues.

For a couple, it is important that such a marriage does not turn out to be protracted and, over time, helps to make a decision on formalizing the relationship.

Acquaintances, friends, colleagues and relatives in secular life not recommended to set suggestive questions and make hints about the official registration of marriage. Also, do not use the expression "cohabitation" and even more so "fornication". The term "cohabitation" is often used to define such relations by the internal affairs authorities, and the word "fornication" reflects the attitude of the church towards an unregistered marriage.

Trial

Trial or temporary marriage (experimental marriage) is a voluntary agreement between the couple cohabitation and joint management of the economy before entering into official marriage or until the end of the relationship. In some countries, such as Scandinavian, this form of marriage is recognized by law and has legal force.

The duration of the trial marriage is determined by the individual agreement of the parties and is often reflected in the marriage contract, if it is concluded. At the end of this period, legal and other relations between the spouses are considered completed, unless the couple enters into a legal marriage.

The terms of a written contract may provide for cases of separation before the agreed period, for example, a lump sum payment of alimony. A similar agreement in Scandinavian countries often contains a clause stating that the couple will not have a child during the trial marriage.

Many couples in Russia view trial marriage not as cohabitation, but as a serious rehearsal of family life. Gaining experience, young people test the possibility of joint management of a common household, life, as well as the ability to adapt to each other.

It is important that the trial marriage does not drag on. Psychologists advise a period of six months to a year.

A couple entering into a trial marriage should take into account that psychologically, in a trial marriage, a man considers himself free, and a woman considers himself a spouse.

At the end of the trial marriage, a woman who is ready to enter into an official marriage is not recommended to agree to an extension of the term of an unregistered relationship, otherwise the situation of uncertainty may drag on.

A party

Vegetarians

If you are a vegetarian and do not eat all products, you should not refuse a party or a friendly company. If in doubt whether your principles and culinary tastes will be appreciated by others, try not to draw too much attention to yourself. It is recommended to warn a close friend, she will be able to choose suitable dishes for you, but you should not bother her with the preparation of a particularly complex dish - it is unlikely that a friend will have much time during the preparation for the holiday.

If your friend doesn't mind, you can bring your favorite dish with you and set the table for him. In this case, it should be borne in mind that other guests may become interested and try the food. In this connection, it is desirable that there be enough food.

The menu of restaurants and cafes almost always has a section of vegetarian dishes; when ordering, you will be able to choose dishes on an equal basis with everyone. However, when going to a gala reception or dinner party, don't draw attention to the choice of vegetarian options unless you've been asked about it.

It is not recommended to burden hospitable relatives with taste preferences, otherwise your appearance in their house will cause inconvenience. Try to find something suitable among the dishes and be sure to praise the dish.

If you are stubbornly offered to taste the meat, refuse politely and calmly: “Thank you, I see that it is very appetizing, but I will refuse.”

When inviting a vegetarian friend to visit, it is permissible to discuss the menu with her, and also warn that not only vegetarians will be at the table.

Drink party

Drink party, or drink party ( party), is a generalized name for parties dedicated to drinks. A party gets its name at the discretion of the organisers, often depending on the main drink served or the venue's rules. For example, short drink party– party of short cocktails, evening drink party, where on a certain day all drinks are served to the ladies for free.

For many, such a party is a form of relaxation, but it should be borne in mind that alcoholic drinks are served at the party.

You should not go to such a party alone, and also stay until the morning if the girl has to get home alone. Drink parties are not conducive to serious acquaintances and friendships - for visitors this is an opportunity to relax and spend the evening. Often a drink party turns into an evening of short acquaintances.

During the cocktail party, visitors have the opportunity to get acquainted with the taste and names of various cocktail drinks. For beer lovers, it is better to choose a beer party and enjoy different types of beer. During the hookah evening, Arabic music often sounds and belly dances are performed.

When going to a similar party, choose an institution and a theme that appeals to you. The dress code depends on the status of the institution and the event.

It should be borne in mind that many establishments have their own rules of communication and circle of regulars.

It is not difficult to organize a drink party at home, but it should be borne in mind that a party in an institution is not only drinking, but also an organized, often stylized evening program, drawing of souvenirs, and a concert program.

When organizing a party at home, try not to disturb your neighbors and comply with the norms of social decency.

pajama party

pajama party - special kind friendly party, implying free style clothes, reminiscent of home or directly in pajamas. The room is arranged accordingly: for example, blankets and pillows on the floor, favorite soft toys.

For a pajama party, it is important to choose the composition of the guests. This is a friendly party for girls, but the company itself decides whether men should attend the party.

Such a party encourages open, confidential communication. Before you cry into your pillow, evaluate whether you will regret your sincerity.

In addition to pajama parties, you can choose any other type of stylistic evening. For a party in the spirit of the 90s you will need stylish clothes, music and salads. At the masquerade party, guests come in costumes and make-up.

It is important that the participants know the topic in advance. If someone is not ready for active participation, you should not force them - let them be a spectator.

Invitation

The form of an invitation to a reception or celebration is chosen depending on the composition of the guests and the formality of the event. Friends, work colleagues and relatives are usually invited by phone or in person. In honor of the official reception, an official invitation is sent. In social life, invitations are also sent out in honor of significant event at in large numbers guests, such as weddings, anniversaries or housewarming parties.

Invite a guest to friendly party or for a bachelorette party enough by phone or e-mail. However, for a themed party, you can create eye-catching, special invitations.

The official invitation is issued by a third party. "XX is inviting", "XX is inviting", "XX has the pleasure of inviting". The tea invitation is written in the first person. If a couple is invited, the husband's name is listed first. In the case where the name of the partner is unknown, "Mr. XX with his wife" is invited.

invitation to house party it is permissible to issue from yourself personally as from the hostess of the holiday.

The invitation should contain basic information about the upcoming event: the name of the invitee, the place, date and time of the event. In addition to the required data, the invitation often indicates the dress code of the event, the phone number for responding to the invitation, or the address of the hostess where the response should be sent.

A written invitation is sent in an envelope by mail, and for especially important guests - by courier.

The time of sending the invitation is two to three weeks before the event, for less significant meetings - ten days or a week. The date of departure and the signature in the invitation are not put.

When you receive an invitation, you must respond to it. It is obligatory to reply to the invitation marked "Just in Time" or uncrossed letters "R.S.V.P." ( repondez, s'il vous plait): most likely this is an invitation to a banquet with a seating arrangement, where the composition and number of guests are especially important. You can not answer all other invitations, but if you are well acquainted with the hostess of the holiday, then it is advisable to inform her about your presence personally.

The response to the invitation must be sent as soon as possible, at least ten days, and in extreme cases one week before the date of the event. If you are in doubt and not sure about your plans, it is better to refuse to participate. Answers such as "according to circumstances" or "it will be known later" are impolite and will not be accepted.

If you have declined the invitation but are able to come, please contact the organizers of the event. In the case of a seated banquet, you should not appear without receiving a positive response; most likely there will be a place at the reception for a buffet or a cocktail.

If you have agreed to participate, you must attend the event. If circumstances have changed, inform the hostess as soon as possible, apologizing and explaining a good reason.

The answer to the official invitation is expressed in a third person.

Accepting an invitation:"XX gratefully accepts your invitation to attend the reception to be held at (place), (date)."

Refusal of an invitation:"XX is very grateful to you for your invitation to attend the reception, which will be held at (place), (date), but, unfortunately, cannot accept it due to the scheduled meeting for this day."

If one of the two invitees cannot take part in the banquet, and the other agrees to come, the refusal and acceptance of the invitation are marked in one letter.

Some two hundred years ago, when educating girls, close attention was paid to teaching etiquette. The modern rhythm of life has largely changed the mores of society: the rights of men and women have become equal, communication has become simple and unconstrained. But no one has canceled the rules of etiquette for girls.

Rules of etiquette in a public place

Most of my life modern girls carried out in public places. This is urban transport, institutions, a work office, and even the most common staircase or an elevator. There are a number of rules of conduct that a girl needs to know in order not to be rude in certain situations:

• If you approached at the same time as another person open door and you are asked to go first, come in without ceremony. By tradition, the stronger sex is obliged to let the weaker sex pass, the younger generation must give way to the older, the subordinate - to the leader. If you are the same age and social status, the one closest to it enters the door first.
• If you and a man go up the stairs, you must go ahead of him, except for the steep and dark stairs. During the descent down the stairs, the place of the girl is behind the man. You have given way - bow your head slightly in gratitude. If the flights of stairs are too narrow, give way, taking a small step to the side, to the elderly, women older than you, your boss.
• At the elevator, say hello to people you know. When the elevator stops, clear the passage for those leaving: if space permits, take a step to the side, no - exit, and then return.
• At the entrance to shopping center or to some institution, first let out those who go out, and only then enter yourself. Prepare money in advance for settlement at the checkout.
• When traveling on public transport, try not to talk loudly or laugh, do not eat ice cream, and do not stare at passengers. If you have caused inconvenience to someone, you must apologize.
• When communicating with colleagues at work, behave with restraint, politely, and tactfully. Be punctual. According to the rules of business etiquette, discussion of the personal life of employees is not allowed.
• In any public place you can be in conflict situation. On the manifestation of insults, behave correctly and with dignity, like a well-mannered girl. Don't be like the offender. Act according to the law.

Good table manners for girls

The culture of eating has many traditions and norms that are the rules of behavior at the table and the use of eating utensils. Every self-respecting girl should have good manners and know the rules of etiquette at the table - this will allow her to feel confident both at home at dinner, and in a cafe and restaurant.

Basic table manners:

• Use a napkin, to do this, put it on your knees so that the large lower part is on top of your knees, and you can wipe your hands with the top.
• When eating, do not forget about the correct posture. The distance to the table should be one palm. Do not spread or rest your elbows on the table. Don't put your hands under the table.
• Use the appropriate cutlery for the particular dish.
• Do not reach for the necessary item (for example, for a salt shaker), but ask for it to be served.
• The use of toothpicks on the table is allowed only in the restroom. You can also touch up your makeup or hair. Touching your hair at the table is considered bad manners.
• For coughing or sneezing, you must leave the table.
• You can call the attendants by waving your hand or nodding your head. In no case do not call the waiter by banging cutlery or shouting.
• If cutlery falls, do not pick it up, but ask the waiter to bring clean ones.
• It is considered bad manners at the table to dangle your feet, lick your fingers, and champ.

How to behave towards a guy?

To achieve sympathy from the representatives of the stronger sex, girls must master the rules of etiquette that will help them in this:

• don't show up for a date on time: being 15-20 minutes late will allow your boyfriend to gather his thoughts and plan the upcoming evening;
• when going on a date, do not take a large bag, as this is a sign of bad taste;
• do not allow kisses on the first date - this indicates a bad upbringing;
• do not initiate the next date;
• do not meet with a guy every evening;
• do not be vulgar in behavior, men like femininity and softness;
• have your own opinion, guys want to see an interesting interlocutor in a girl.

Etiquette in clothes is important!

Remember that you are the fair sex. Having an impeccable appearance and exquisite taste in clothes, you will be a real lady. Let's pay a little attention to the etiquette in clothes:

• Dress according to the season and time of day. Light and light-colored clothes are suitable for summer, denser ones are suitable for winter. Morning clothes should be simple and discreet, and for the evening, sequins can also be allowed.
• Suits and blouses are suitable for work clothes, tights, for example, flesh-colored, must be worn. They can be worn with any outfit.
• In a working environment, short skirts are not allowed.
• Shoes should be of good quality and polished, suitable for your clothes, and most importantly, that they do not bring you inconvenience. Even at 30 degrees of heat, never open the toe, you can only expose the heel. And the heel of a real lady should have a perfect look.
• Do not wear excessive jewelry during the day.
• A combination of more than three colors is not allowed in clothes.

Manners, etiquette, tact and ability to keep yourself are eternal. Elegance always captivates, delights and inspires respect. Coming out of modest surroundings and being forced to rotate in rich circles, it is easy to get a bunch of complexes, admiring chic and sophisticated women with extraordinary manners. But natural elegance and self-confidence can be easily learned. The main thing is to approach the issue with all your heart.

In most cases, this is due to social origin. In wealthy families, girls are sent to a ballet school, where they are taught to stand straight and move gracefully. And in addition to dancing lessons, they go to special schools, where this is taught, exactly the same as at home, everything is simply saturated with the spirit of sophistication of behavior in society. Most often, of course, this is typical for royal families, of which there are not so many left in the world today, or for families upper class belonging to the elite of society. In Ukraine, unfortunately, due to certain historical events, there are practically no such families for a long time, as well as special requirements for behavior in high society, and, consequently, specialized educational institutions.

Continuing lessons good manners and correct behavior in society, I would like to pay attention to how we walk, stand and sit, and teach how to do it correctly and elegantly. There is nothing worse than a pretty girl who only uses her appearance, completely unable to behave properly. Sometimes it becomes a pity for those women who spend a lot of time and money on care in order to achieve the perfect hairstyle, manicure and makeup, who are completely lost behind their total inability to behave and behave with dignity.

Correctly stand

First of all, when you stand, stand up straight, maintaining the correct posture (read about this in another article).

• Do not shift from foot to foot, even if your legs hurt or ache
• The legs should be perpendicular to the floor. Take small steps if this somehow helps to ease the load on the legs. You can also become in the third position by placing one foot slightly in front of the other
• Don't lean against the wall. Stand straight on two legs, or find yourself a chair

Regarding movements, remember that real lady, the seductress is a restrained and tactful woman who impresses with her beauty, demeanor and tact.

• Don't talk or laugh too loudly and avoid overly sweeping gestures. Hands, and especially elbows, should always be close to the body. Do not cross your arms over your chest or place them on your hips.
• If your legs really hurt and you can no longer stand, never complain or make a face. No one should know about your suffering. An exception can only be made for best friend, or loved one but very quiet.

When walking, the movements should be smooth, calm, harmonious and attractive. Exude confidence.

• Don't forget to keep your chin up.
• Try to walk straight. Imagine a straight line on the floor and try to put your foot as close to it as possible. Don't try to walk like a supermodel. This is not the effect you want.

• Don't go too fast, as if you're in a hurry. Don't move your legs. This will make you look tired and exhausted.
• Do not put a strong emphasis on the heel. Firstly, you become like a soldier, and secondly, the heel knocks too loudly, which annoys others.
• Do not exaggerate the swaying of the hips or the movement of the buttocks. It's unnatural and looks cheap.
• Always carry a bag or clutch with you to keep your hands busy. So you look more elegant than when your arms just dangle back and forth.

• Don't put your hands in your pockets. Pockets for men only!

You also need to be able to sit elegantly.

• Standing in front of a chair or chair (or other object that you can sit on), lean forward slightly and bend your knees.
• Remember to keep your back straight. Then slowly lower your buttocks onto the seat, as close to the back as possible. If the seat is too far away and you need to move it closer to your knees, do so while you slowly lower yourself. Never pull up a chair after you sit on it. This creates unnecessary noise and looks disgusting. Never hunch over when sitting, no matter how comfortable the seat is.
• Keep your feet together. You can tilt them slightly to the side, or cross your ankles. In some cases, or in certain seats, such as the high stool behind the bar, it is better to cross your knees. This looks more feminine. Just remember that when you cross your legs, you must do it as carefully as possible and keep them as close as possible. closer friend to friend. (Forget about Sharon Stone - not now...)
• When you get up from a place, do it also slowly, keeping your back as straight as possible.

In order to master these simple rules and apply them in society without the slightest feeling of embarrassment or inconvenience, it is best to practice at home in front of a mirror with different chairs and different outfits.

At the mention of the word "etiquette" most people come to mind complex table settings using dozens of appliances, prim ladies and the coldness of official events of aristocratic houses. Meanwhile, etiquette is just a set of rules that regulate the behavior of people in a given situation. And even if you consider yourself a rebel, going against all the norms and rules of society, to know the main rules women's etiquette never hurt. This is especially important when traveling, because very often the rules of conduct in different countries differ significantly, and what is accepted in your homeland may surprise or even shock foreigners.

In that article we will talk about modern European rules etiquette for women.

The etiquette of the modern girl

Everyday etiquette for girls includes the following basic rules:

1. Any communication begins with a greeting. Its purpose is to express the joy and pleasure of meeting. During the greeting, the degree of friendliness of the relationship should be taken into account. For distant acquaintances, a verbal greeting will suffice, close friend or a relative can be kissed on the cheek or lightly hugged. However, a balance should be struck between a languid and overly boisterous greeting. Remember that those with whom you greet should hear you, and not everyone around you within a radius of several meters. Avoid loud exclamations, violent hugs and noisy long kisses.
2. AT rainy weather the guy holds an umbrella over the girl (if he is taller or the same height as her). With a significant difference in height, each carries his own umbrella. When entering a room, remember to protect others from water dripping from your umbrella. To do this, use a cover or leave an umbrella in a special stand at the entrance.
3. Eating on the street, especially while walking, is indecent. Of course, no one will forbid you to eat ice cream in the park on a bench, but you should not enter public transport, shop or museum with bitten hamburger or sandwich.
4. You must arrive exactly at the appointed time. Contrary to popular belief, guests should not be late. If you fail to arrive at the appointed time, be sure to notify the hosts about this. In the event that you need to leave before other guests, do not draw too much attention to yourself. Leave quietly, without fuss, and of course, do not forget to say goodbye to the hosts and thank them for the welcome.
5. Control your movements. Too active gesticulation not only interferes with others, but also does not look too beautiful.

Etiquette in a restaurant for a girl

If you go to a restaurant with a gentleman, then, according to the rules, the guy enters the room first. Taking the menu, he must give it to the girl, inviting her to choose first. Then he takes the menu himself, makes his choice and orders dishes for both.

You should not start eating before the order is brought to everyone present. The only exceptions are cases when other people themselves will offer you to start the meal without waiting for them.

At the end of the meal, the cutlery is placed on the plate in parallel. If they pause while eating, the devices should be placed crosswise.

While eating, you should not slurp, sniff food noisily or defiantly pick at it. Eating with a knife or, sitting at a table, picking out food particles stuck in your teeth are the most gross possible violations of etiquette.

If you accidentally dropped, spilled or spilled something - do not panic and do not rush headlong to correct your oversight. Spilled liquid should be wiped only with a napkin, and crumbled crumbs should not be brushed onto the floor.

Business etiquette for women

Dress etiquette for business women provides for the observance of the classic official style in appearance. Ideal option clothes will be a business suit (jacket and trousers or skirt) in discreet tones. At the same time, the absolute coincidence of the “top” and “bottom” of the suit is not necessary - you have the right to combine, for example, a sand jacket and a blue skirt.

The main requirement for any clothing is cleanliness and neatness. Make sure that your suit is always washed and ironed, there are no stains or holes on it. Similarly, your hair and makeup should be neat. Follow your appearance It means showing respect for others. But you should not clean up (pull up your stockings, clean your shoes, straighten your hair, powder your nose, tint your lips or wipe off leaking mascara) in public. It is better to do this at home or in the "lady's room".

As you can see modern etiquette for women does not provide for overly complicated rules or exhausting duties. It is enough just to be friendly, to behave with restraint, but not constrained, and to treat others with respect.

In society, there have long been rules of conduct that have been called etiquette. Many people are not familiar with it and often make mistakes. If some rules are already outdated and forgotten, then most still apply. I bring to your attention their part, about which many people forget.

1. You should never come to visit without warning. If the guests did not warn you about their arrival, you can not do the cleaning without a shadow of embarrassment, but walk around the house in a dressing gown, curlers, and even in a cosmetic mask. One British lady once said that when unplanned guests appeared, she always put on a hat, shoes, took an umbrella. If the guest who came was pleasant to her, she always exclaimed: “Oh, how lucky, I just came.” If the guest was not a joy to her, she said: "What a pity, it's time for me to leave."

2. It is considered bad manners to ask your guests to take off their shoes. They must be able to figure this out for themselves. If not, then the rules good manners not for them.

3. A very common mistake is drying an umbrella open at a party or office. This can be done exclusively at home and preferably without guests. To dry it at a party, you need to put it in a special stand or just hang it.

4. Many people often make another mistake - they put the bag on their chair or put it on their knees. It is unacceptable! If a small elegant handbag can be put directly on the table without a shadow of embarrassment, then a bulky bag or a bulky backpack should be hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor. This rule applies in the absence of a special chair for the bag, which are very often found in restaurants. Briefcases are placed exclusively on the floor.

5. It is considered outright redneck to wear plastic bags as a bag. It is permissible to use them exclusively for delivering purchases home from the supermarket, but nothing more. The same applies to paper branded bags from a variety of boutiques.

6. A man should never wear women's bag, and a women's coat can be picked up solely in order to bring it to the locker room, and then hang it up and vice versa.

7. Comfortable trousers and a sweater are at home, but they must have a decent appearance. Clothes such as a bathrobe or pajamas are reserved exclusively for the bedroom and bathroom.

8. One of the most common mistakes is made by parents. At the same time, as you allocate your own room to the child, and he settles in it, you must strictly accustom yourself to the fact that it is impossible to enter the room without knocking if he is in it. In this case, the child should do exactly the same before entering your bedroom.

9. It is permissible for a woman not to take off such items of clothing as a hat and gloves indoors, but in no case should she be in a hat and mittens.

10. It is accepted in the international protocol total decorations no more than 13 items, which also include a variety of jewelry buttons. It is unacceptable to wear a ring over gloves, but wearing a bracelet is not at all forbidden. It is generally accepted in the world that the darker it is outside, the more expensive jewelry should be. It used to be believed that diamonds were considered an adornment exclusively for the evening and only for married ladies, but now it is normal to wear diamonds during the daytime, as well as the appearance on a young girl of stud earrings with small diamonds of about 0.25 carats.

11. Many are not familiar with the rules of paying for orders in a restaurant. If you uttered the phrase “I invite you”, then pay, respectively, only to you. If a woman invited her business partner to a restaurant, then, accordingly, she should pay. There is another frequently used wording: "Let's go to a restaurant." This implies that everyone pays for himself. Only if a man offers a woman to pay the bill for her, she has the right to agree.

12. Rules dictate that men should always enter the elevator first, and the one who is closest to the door should exit first.

13. Few people know that in a car the most prestigious place is considered to be behind the driver, which should be occupied by a woman, and a man sits next to her and when leaving the car, he must hold the door and give the woman a hand to help get out of the car. If a man is driving, then it is still preferable for a woman to take a seat right behind him. However, wherever a woman is sitting, a man should get out, open the door for her and help her out of the car. Men often forget about this nowadays, and women in business etiquette are increasingly using the motto of feminists, which says that there is no division into men and women in business.

14. It is considered indecent in society to say in public that you are on a diet. And it is absolutely unacceptable under such a pretext to refuse the offered dishes that a hospitable hostess can offer you. It is necessary to praise her culinary talents, but it is permissible not to eat anything. Oddly enough, but the same is true with alcohol, and you should not publicly declare that you do not drink. Why you shouldn't drink is purely your problem. You can ask for a dry white wine and just sip a little.

15. Small talk has its own rules and a list of topics that are considered bad form to discuss. You should not start a conversation in such a conversation about religion, money, health, and you should also forget about politics. It is considered extremely indecent to be interested in the price of a dress or any other accessory of someone else's outfit. If you are asked such a question, it is best to smile and answer that this is a gift, and then carefully move the conversation to another topic. If the interlocutor does not let up and continues to insist, politely say that you do not want to talk about it.

16. You need to address “you” not only to equal and older interlocutors, but also to every person who has reached the age of 12. It sounds very rude when some people allow themselves to be called “you” to waiters, drivers or doormen. In public, “you” is best addressed even to a well-known comrade. It’s better to use “you” only in private. An exception may be the case when you are peers or close friends. What to do if the interlocutor is not familiar with the rules of good manners and stubbornly continues to address you as “you”? First, it is best to politely ask if he is addressing you. If he did not understand your subtle hint, look around and ask in bewilderment if he meant you. In especially severe cases, you can shrug your shoulders neutrally and say, “Sorry, but we didn’t switch to “you” with you.”