History of etiquette: the main stages of development. Etiquette: etiquette and social manners

The rules of etiquette in society are the ability to behave in all situations in which a person can find himself. In the modern world, it is extremely important to know them, to have good manners in order to be pleased with yourself and others, to treat all people with respect, affability, benevolence, naturally. So that any, even the best elite society, willingly accepts you into its ranks.

Interpretation of the term

Etiquette in modern society- a list of generally accepted rules that relate to human behavior in relation to other people in certain life situations.

There are several main types of such rules.

1. The ability to present oneself - the rules for the formation of a wardrobe, appearance, self-care, physical form and posture, gait, postures, gestures.
2. Speech etiquette - the ability to correctly say greetings, compliments, thanks, give remarks; farewell rules, politeness,
3. Table etiquette - manners at the table, serving standards, the ability to eat.
4. Rules of etiquette in society - how to behave in a museum, at an exhibition, in a theater, restaurant, court, library, shop, office, etc.
5. Business etiquette - relationships with colleagues, superiors, good business manners, leadership skills, etc.

Ability to present yourself

Good manners, the rules of etiquette, the ability to be a kind person - all this requires not only skills, but also knowledge in these areas. A modern person should know how to behave in any circumstances, be able to behave accordingly, be amiable, friendly and self-confident.

Etiquette in clothes

The first impression is the strongest and most memorable, and in addition, the mind is manifested in the choice of clothing for the occasion. To produce good impression It's not enough to be fashionable or expensively dressed. If you want to please others, you must reckon with them and take into account different circumstances. Therefore, even in the formation of a wardrobe, it is customary to observe the rules of etiquette in society. It is important that the clothes are beautiful and suit you, but it is much more important that all the details of the appearance are organically combined with each other, and that it matches the time, place and atmosphere. It is not customary to wear evening dresses during the day, and to wear leisure clothes to work. Each time, choosing what to wear, you must take into account the situation, the appropriate occasion, time, place, do not forget about your own age, body features. Everything you wear should always be clean, hemmed, buttoned and ironed. Outfit must always be in fully prepared. When shaping your wardrobe, remember to include must-have items such as suits, tailored trousers and skirts, blouses and evening wear, and home kits.

Personal care

Good manners imply the obligatory observance of cleanliness of clothes, proper nutrition and healthy lifestyle. It is unacceptable to appear in society unkempt. At the same time, it is important to monitor the appearance in the complex, carefully removing the hair, going out into the "light". These are mandatory rules of etiquette and behavior for a girl, as well as for a man.

Good manners in society

The ability to present oneself begins with gait, posture, gestures, postures, manners of sitting and sitting. The rules of etiquette in society require a beautiful gait with a straight posture, when the arms do not move widely in the rhythm of the step, the shoulders are straightened, the stomach is tucked up. You can not lift your head high, but you should not walk with your head down. Equally important are postures and gestures. To make a good impression, you need to act simply and naturally. It is considered bad manners to turn something in your hands, twist your hair around your finger, drum your fingers on the table, stamp your feet to the beat of the music, touch any parts of your body with your hands, pull on someone else's clothes. As for the question of how to sit correctly, it is important to know only two rules here: do not cross your legs and do not fall apart, spreading your legs and arms to the sides.

Speech etiquette

Polite words are special formulas in which a large amount of information is encrypted, both semantic and emotional. It is necessary to know them by heart, to be able to choose the most appropriate for the occasion and pronounce them in the appropriate tone in time. Masterly, correct possession of these words is speech etiquette in modern society.

1. Greeting

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and feeling into the words. For example, you would not be very delicate when you say “good afternoon” to a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it’s completely unacceptable to say hello to the boss, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people - when greeting them, call them by name or by name and patronymic. Men must accompany each other with a handshake. When meeting with a lady, a gallant gentleman kisses her hand, while he should not pull her towards him, but should bend as far as the woman gave her hand.

2. Appeal, presentation

Which of the appeals is preferable, you have to decide in each case, depending on the audience you are addressing. It is customary to address acquaintances by name or by name and patronymic, the second is considered a manifestation of greater respect. In a formal setting, when introducing anyone, state the first and last name. And addressing by patronymic, for example, Ivanovna, is permissible only in the village, but not in secular society.

3. Requests

The word "please" is really magical, it must be heard in all requests. Since the request in one way or another burdens the person to whom you are addressing, in some cases it is worth adding: “If it’s not difficult for you”, “Is it not difficult for you?” It is also appropriate to say: "Do me a favor, be kind, could you," etc.

4. Farewell

Before you say goodbye, you should prepare the interlocutor for parting: "It's already late", "Unfortunately, I have to go." It is then customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, such as "I'm glad we met." The next stage of farewell is words of gratitude. Sometimes you can say a compliment to the mistress of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without delay.

In addition, the rules of etiquette in society require the ability to invite, apologize, console, express condolences, gratitude. Each of these forms of address should sound natural, sincere, excluding rude and harsh phrases and phrases.

Table etiquette

Eating beautifully is just as important as moving and speaking well, but it is here that one must especially observe the measure.

• No need to try to deliberately embellish the process of eating, for example, eat in very small pieces, set aside bent fingers. It is enough not to open your mouth while chewing, not to talk with your mouth full, to chew food thoroughly before putting another portion in your mouth.
• Never drink until you have swallowed the food, unless you have taken hot food in your mouth unexpectedly. If you see that the food is hot, do not blow on it before you start eating.
• Try to eat and drink absolutely silently.
• In society, bread is eaten not by biting off the whole piece, but by breaking off pieces from it.
• Salt from an open salt shaker, if there is no special spoon in it, is supposed to be taken with the end of a clean knife, after pouring it on the edge of your plate.
• Ketchup or mustard as a condiment is offered only in the most casual atmosphere.
• When eating, try not to stain your plate as much as possible, do not stir or smear food on it.
• Never, even at home, eat with your hands. It is customary to hold the fork in the left hand, and the knife in the right. If you are eating a salad, then you can take the fork with your right hand.
• If you want to drink or take a break from eating, then you need to leave the fork and knife in a crosswise or "house" position.
• The spoon is always taken with the right hand, if you eat from a soup bowl, the spoon is left there after eating, not laid out on the table.
• At the end of the meal and before drinking, it is customary to use a napkin.

Etiquette: rules of conduct in society and public places

AT in public places there are some specific rules of good taste, which are extremely important to observe.

1. In a museum, at an exhibition, a vernissage

The rules of conduct in these "temples" of art all over the world are the same and extremely simple: walk through the halls quietly, speak in a hushed tone, do not touch anything with your hands, do not get too close to the paintings and exhibits so as not to disturb other visitors.

2. In the theater, philharmonic, concert hall

Modern rules of good manners are somewhat contradictory. Previously, a man had to invite ladies to such public places, today it is considered quite decent if a girl herself invites him to a performance, a concert. And even if it is she who pays for tickets for two. A well-bred man should play the role of a gallant gentleman, courting a lady everywhere. It is important to arrive on time, undress calmly, take a seat without disturbing anyone. People with impeccable upbringing should not chew anything while watching.

3. In court, church, clinic, library

The rules of etiquette and good manners in society urge you to behave in these places as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. You can not talk, rustle, chew and walk without special need. Questions and inquiries should be answered politely and in a low voice.

In any establishment, it is important to maintain good manners, to be accommodating, tactful and polite. Most importantly, your stay should not cause discomfort to any of those present.

Business Etiquette

Good manners at work are a must for every employee. What are the aspects of business etiquette? Easy rules will help to understand this issue.

• Compliance with subordination with colleagues and superiors.
• Timely arrival at work and prompt performance of their duties.
• Polite communication with both colleagues and visitors.
• Privacy at work.
• Appropriate clothing for the institution you work for.
• Lack of personal topics in discussions.
• Maintain order in your workplace.
• by phone.

Rules in society help to achieve the goals assigned in business. Thanks to good manners, you can move up the corporate ladder and be a successful self-fulfilling person in everything.

To be a pleasant person in any situation, to want to do business with you, you need to perfectly know the laws of behavior in society. They will help not only achieve any goals, but also become a self-confident and happy person.

Etiquette is a rather complex science, which is fraught with a number of features. The main subtlety is that the rules of etiquette do not always carry an absolute meaning. It all depends on the place, time and circumstances. Having comprehended these rules, each person will be able to avoid embarrassing situations. A review article on the topic "Rules of Etiquette" will give a general idea of ​​​​this concept. We will help you navigate in different life circumstances, when you need to show your best qualities in communication and behavior.

• Content:

The concept of etiquette

The historical roots of the very concept of "etiquette" lead to France. In a general sense, this term refers to a set of requirements assigned to a particular culture, which in each individual situation are imposed on human behavior.

According to the dictionary definition, etiquette- these are generally accepted rules of behavior in society, established forms of circumvention. The practical essence of etiquette lies in the fact that it allows people to use ready-made rules. behavior, manners and forms communication with different people.

First rule of etiquette

For more than 40 years, World Hello Day has been celebrated annually. It is not for nothing that such attention is paid to this event. The fact is that greetings is the first rule of etiquette.

If communication takes place face to face, then a smile is indispensable. The first impression leaves a deep mark, and there may not be another time to correct your opinion about yourself. Since ancient times, avoiding a greeting has been considered a prime example of bad manners.

Communication etiquette

Etiquette is a tool that allows you to achieve what you want from communicating with loved ones, friends or colleagues. To do this, you need to understand certain rules and use them in practice.

Any communication should begin with a polite greeting and proper treatment. Even if the conversation is tiring or does not arouse interest, you need to pay attention to the interlocutor. In this case, you will find his location and keep a good impression of yourself.

We have detailed the details in the corresponding article, we will add just a few more words about the concept that is relevant today - the rules of talking on the phone.

telephone etiquette

Even the shortest telephone conversation should be carried out in accordance with the generally accepted rules of etiquette, be it business or domestic. Today, almost everyone has in their pocket mobile phone. Therefore, the culture of communication by telephone lives and develops in step with the times.

Communication has always brought people together, even if it's just talking on the phone. Such a conversation should fit within the framework telephone etiquette. It is important not to forget the words of greeting and farewell, to be able to clearly express thoughts and stop in time, giving the floor to the interlocutor.

Etiquette norms are studied from school and throughout life. Companies that care about their reputation spend even special education employees dedicated to telephone communication. When implementing business negotiations not only the personal authority of the speaker is put at stake, but also the image of the organization.

A person does not go beyond the socio-cultural space throughout his life. Thanks to established rules of conduct, he maintains normal relations with others. This is important for every educated person.

Mutual respect can be earned by adhering to the rules of courtesy. Non-conflict people show restraint, do not allow harshness and rudeness in their behavior. They try to avoid even the slightest conflicts and ridiculous situations, daily using the basics of etiquette science.

True benevolence, disinterestedness, sensitivity, politeness and tact are the main qualities of a person on which good behavior. They are important at all stages of communication and relationships. Such qualities will comfort heartache, to smooth out the insult and not to allow grief at all.

Good manners

Mastering good manners enriches the spiritual beauty of a person. They are directly related to the right upbringing. Such manners are manifested in gait, clothing, facial expressions, intonation, actions, and treatment of people.

A cultured person should be able to behave with restraint, modestly, tactfully and attentively towards others. He must be held accountable for his words and deeds. These are the key qualities upon which good manners are built. And they, in turn, are regulated by etiquette. Therein lies their intimate connection.

At one time, Goethe compared the manners of a person with a mirror reflecting his portrait. These words have not lost their meaning and relevance in the modern world. The surrounding people notice everything, they judge a person by behavior, which sometimes gives out more than we would like. To be on top, you need to never stop monitoring your manners.

Etiquette at the table

When going to a gala event or a family dinner party, a romantic date in a cafe or a business meeting in a restaurant, it is important not to forget about good manners and table etiquette rules. A cultured person should know them so as not to lose face.

Table etiquette is due to a number of features and national traditions, but at least the generally accepted rules must be remembered. The culture of behavior at the table seriously affects the impression of a person. The inability to properly eat, take food or drink can turn away from communicating with such a person.

Modern table etiquette rules are available to everyone. They reveal the purpose and use of serving items, regulate the norms of behavior during meals. Mastering this difficult science will make you feel much more confident at any table.

Away etiquette

It may seem that being a guest is easy and fun. In fact, to become a welcome guest, you need to be able to behave beautifully, that is, to observe guest etiquette. Every educated person should learn its prescriptions and subtleties. No wonder the term “persona non grata” is widely used, which literally means an unwanted guest.

You need to be able to come at the appointed hour, in a good mood, not empty-handed. You also need to leave on time, with gratitude for the invitation and a warm welcome. It is important to be able to behave with dignity in any environment and company.

Norms and rules of etiquette

The norms and rules of etiquette have been honed over the centuries. They are being amended different nations who honor their national and cultural traditions. Despite this, there are generally accepted attitudes of behavior and communication between people.

Every educated person sets himself the task of not only getting acquainted with the rules and norms of etiquette, but also tries to follow them. This is an important component of the internal culture of the individual.

Basic rules of etiquette

The treasury of etiquette rules does not cease to be filled with the development of society. In it you can find norms and rules of conduct for all occasions. Every self-respecting person should know at least the basic ones. In this article, we only give an overview of the concept of "rules of etiquette", you can easily find specific examples on the net.

Following key ethical rules simplifies interaction and generally makes life easier in society. Their observance allows a person to show his upbringing and education.

Good etiquette rules

Following the rules of decency does not mean at all that someone should dance to someone else's tune. A person who truly respects himself and others will, in any situation, try to adhere to good etiquette rules so as not to inconvenience yourself and others. To do this, it is enough to master simple and useful rules good tone. Then not only personal life, but also the surrounding reality will become more beautiful, kinder.

Applying the rules of good etiquette is a guaranteed success. They will help you quickly establish good contact, cause the right reaction and generally feel confident.

Rules of etiquette in society

A person, being a social being, must behave in society with dignity, guided by the rules of etiquette. They are aimed at ensuring that the behavior is natural, not simulated.

Sincere feelings have always been valuable. To express them, each member of society must strive for self-improvement. Inner harmony a person is achieved by combining high morality with exemplary manners that follow from the rules of etiquette in society.

Etiquette for girls, men, children

Today, the days of chivalry are rarely remembered, how nobly real heroes treated women. Where can you find such gentlemen now? They can only be seen on the movie screen than to meet in real life. Real ladies are also rare today. A girl with refined manners is a rare guest in our area.

The fact is that the weaker sex today communicates on an equal footing with men. And the representatives of the stronger sex are afraid or do not know how to demonstrate their gallantry. Gender differences are being erased, but the rules of etiquette for today's girls and men are no less relevant than in ancient times.

The subtleties of graceful manners are important not only for adults, but also for children. They will help convey the correct model of behavior in society. The child will be able to easily communicate with peers, relatives and strangers. Having mastered the rules of good manners, children will learn to behave at school, at the table, in the cinema. Their social adaptation to adulthood will be painless.

Service etiquette is a set of expedient rules established in labor collectives in order to determine the behavior of employees. These rules correspond to moral and moral principles. Compliance with the prescribed requirements should be mandatory for both managers and subordinates.

Service etiquette rules are essential for maintaining a normal working climate and increasing productivity. Their implementation is of fundamental importance for stable and fruitful cooperation with customers and partners.

Service etiquette prescribes the requirements for behavior not only within your team, but also in cooperation with external entities. Supporting business conversation with foreign partners, you need to know their rules of etiquette, traditions and customs. Only such relationships can become long-term beneficial for both parties.

We talked in general terms about the rules of etiquette and the components of this concept for different aspects of human life. The details of good manners in different circumstances are appropriate to consider separately, in detail, for each situation. It is impossible to reflect the rules of conduct in all the subtleties in one material. Therefore, we consider this article a starting point in the world of etiquette and will use it as the content for subsequent articles on this topic.

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In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, elementary politeness, a neat appearance and the ability to manage one's emotions.

website presents you a selection of current rules for today that every self-respecting person and others should know.

• If you say the phrase: "I invite you," it means you pay. Another wording: "Let's go to a restaurant" - in this case, everyone pays for himself, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, she can agree.
• Never visit without calling. If you are visited unannounced, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers. One British lady said that when uninvited guests she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!”. If unpleasant: "Oh, what a pity, I have to leave."
• Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. In doing so, you show how important the communication device is in your life and how much you are not interested in annoying chatter going on nearby. At any moment, you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check the feed on Instagram, answer an important call or get distracted to find out what fifteen new levels have come to Angry Birds.

• You should not invite a girl on a date and communicate with her through SMS messages.
• The man never wears women's bag. And woman coat he takes only to bring to the locker room.
• If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should also say hello.
• Many people think that sushi can only be eaten with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Men, unlike women, can eat sushi with their hands.
• Shoes should ALWAYS be clean.
• Do not talk on the phone with empty chatter. If you're in need of a heart-to-heart conversation, it's best to meet with a friend face to face.
• If you have been insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice to the person who insulted you. Don't stoop to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.
• On the street, a man should walk to the left of the lady. On the right, only military personnel can go, who must be ready to perform a military salute.
• Drivers should remember that cold-bloodedly spraying passers-by with mud is flagrant incivility.
• A woman may keep her hat and gloves on indoors, but not her hat and mittens.
• Nine things should be kept secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of the medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

• Having come to the cinema, theater, to a concert, you should only go to your seats facing those who are sitting. The man goes first.
• A man enters a restaurant always first, main reason- on this basis, the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the institution, and who will pay. In the case of the arrival of a large company - enters first and pays the one from whom the invitation to the restaurant came. But if a porter meets visitors at the entrance, then the man must let the first woman through. After that, the gentleman finds free places.
• You should never touch a woman unwillingly, take her hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her hand above the elbow, except when you help her get into or out of a vehicle, or cross the street .
• If someone calls you impolitely (for example: “Hey, you!”), You should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture, educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach an etiquette lesson by your own example.
• The golden rule when using perfume is moderation. If by the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
• A well-bred man will NEVER allow himself not to show due respect to a woman.
• In the presence of a woman, men smoke only with her permission.
• Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when you enter the room, say hello first.
• Keep correspondence confidential. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same with each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is doing extremely ugly.
• Don't try to keep up with fashion. It is better to look not fashionable, but good, than fashionable and bad.

• If after an apology you are forgiven - you should not return to the offensive question again and ask for forgiveness again, just do not repeat such mistakes.
• Laughing too loudly, talking noisily, staring at people intently is offensive.
• Do not forget to thank loved ones, relatives and friends. Them good deeds and readiness to offer one's help is not an obligation, but an expression of feelings worthy of gratitude.

And finally, here are the words of the legendary American actor Jack Nicholson:

“I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Do not shout from one room to another. Do not open a closed door without knocking. Let the lady go ahead. The purpose of all these countless simple rules is to make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I am careful about my manners. It's not some kind of abstraction. This is for everyone understandable language mutual respect."

fr. etiquette - label, label) - a set of rules and norms of behavior that regulate the external manifestations of human relationships, an integral part of the external culture of a person and society. Includes treatment with others, behavior, manners. Types of etiquette: court, diplomatic, military, business, civil.

Great Definition

Incomplete definition ↓

ETIQUETTE

fr. - etiquette - label, label) - a set of rules of conduct relating to the external manifestation of attitude towards people - (treatment with others, forms of address and greetings, behavior in public places, manners and clothes). E. - an integral part of the external culture of eb-va (Culture of behavior). It includes those of its requirements, which acquire the character of a strictly per - lacent ceremonial and, in compliance with which, is of particular importance certain form behavior. Although E. ultimately expresses the content of those. or other principles of morality, respect for a person, in a class society, as a rule, it becomes a conditional ritual, has a purely external form, divorced from its moral content, a strictly canonized character. It is expressed in a complex system of detailed rules of courtesy, clearly classifies the rules for dealing with representatives of various classes and estates, with officials in accordance with their rank (who should be addressed properly, who should be titled as), rules of conduct in various circles (court E ., diplomatic E., E. "higher education", etc.). At the same time, for strict observance of E; an unfriendly w disrespectful attitude towards people can be hidden. He. in essence, it is often a legalized form - hypocrisy in everyday relationships between people. E. is built on a completely different basis in a socialist society, reflecting the process of democratization social life and establishing truly humane relations between people. E. here is greatly simplified, becomes incomparably more free and natural, acquires the meaning of an everyday benevolent and respectful attitude towards all people, regardless of their position and social position. Courteous treatment of a woman, respectful attitude towards elders, forms of address and greetings, rules for conducting a conversation, bringing at the table, treating guests, fulfilling requirements; imposed on a person’s clothing in various circumstances, all these laws of decency embody general ideas about the dignity of man, the simple demands of convenience and ease in the relationship of people. Charge to external form manifests itself here only insofar as it reflects ideas of beauty in behavior and appearance human (ethical and aesthetic), In general, E. under socialism coincides with general requirements courtesy, it is ultimately based on the principles of socialist humanism. As for the ritual forms of E., they are preserved in the main. only in the sphere of diplomatic relations (compliance with the so-called diplomatic protocol). But they also reflect a fundamentally new thing in people's relations - they provide for equal treatment of representatives of different countries.

Compliance ethical standards person in society always defines him as a highly moral individual with moral principles respecting himself and those around him. But only knowledge and following the rules of etiquette make a man a real gentleman, and a woman a real lady.

What is it needed for?

To understand the need for such a phenomenon as etiquette, it is worth giving this concept a definition, distinguishing it from the concept of ethics. Etiquette is a set of rules that must be observed in society, the ability to behave appropriately in a particular case.

For the first time the word "etiquette" arose in France under King Louis XIV. At one of the social events, guests received small cards (labels), which contained the first ever written rules on how to behave in society.

Such an innovation could not go unnoticed. For a long time and to this day, the set of rules has been steadily growing, whole chapters and paragraphs are being added, which are designed to regulate human behavior in all areas of activity.

The latest modern developments in the field of etiquette are related to the norms of communication in the Internet space. This is an important topic, since permissiveness and depersonalization in the network entails laxity and degradation of society and each person individually.

The concepts of etiquette and ethics are often equated and generalized. It is not right. If etiquette is clear laws, when a person can be accurately assessed, it can be concluded whether he is familiar with good manners or not, then ethics are internal moral and moral guidelines that this or that subject follows, relying on his own intuition, and as well as the degree of upbringing and prudence.

Etiquette is common for everyone, it is unchanged and exists a priori, ethics are hidden and hidden traits of a person’s character. Everyone has their own ethics. They depend on social status, from those models of behavior and building relationships that are inherent in the family, from the educational process at school, from the circle of friends and acquaintances, from the personal qualities and character of a person.

You can be a highly moral person and a great moralist, but not know the rules of etiquette at all, or you can observe all the laws of decency, but be a selfish, greedy and bad person.

Of course, the rules of etiquette were created subject to ethical standards. Indeed, historically, it was morality, nobility and virtue that were the measure of a good and bad beginning in a person.

One way or another, in order to achieve success in life, to be able to present yourself from the best side, to feel confident in any society, in any situation, you should learn all the rules of good manners and always follow them. Etiquette has covered all spheres of human life, so it is important to know that your partners, opponents, colleagues, friends and relatives are familiar with the laws of decency and will appreciate your ability to stay in public and in an intimate setting.

Kinds

It should not be surprising that many rules can be found, for example, both in general civil etiquette, and in military or business. Many settings are common to all aspects of life, so they are duplicated. It is worth highlighting the following types of etiquette:

• general civil. The set of rules established by general civil etiquette regulates the norms of behavior for all citizens, without exception, in Everyday life. They are guided when being in public places, when asking for help from a stranger, during a trip to public transport etc.
• Secular. Familiarize yourself with the rules secular etiquette worth it for those who are about to appear in a society united by some event or an invitation from the hosts of the event. This includes the laws of greeting, dating, introducing guests to each other, expressing gratitude to the organizers of the evening, the rules of good manners at the table, the appropriateness of a particular outfit, and others.
• Courtier. Anyone who was lucky enough to appear at the court of the monarch (for example, to be in the company of the Queen of England) must know “in and out” the rules of good manners at the royal court. One of the main laws during a reception with Elizabeth II is to speak only when the Queen herself asks.

• Military. The set of rules, which clearly regulates the observance of subordination in the army, includes the norms of behavior for military personnel in all possible situations.
• Business. An important block of rules to study that will help anyone build a career, become a reliable partner and a successful businessman.
• Religious. It is not enough to express respect for the church and faith, you need to know how to behave in the temple, how to address the clergy, how to behave at rituals.
• Family. Within each cell of society, the laws of family etiquette must be respected. By following the rules, most family quarrels can be prevented, and as a result, divorces.

There are many other types of etiquette. Some are long gone, for example, knightly, and such as court or ballroom are on the verge of going down in history. Modern world it is very changeable, impetuous, new concepts are constantly introduced, phenomena occur that require regulation, conclusion in a framework.

Functions

The law on the part of the state cannot create the necessary framework for the regulation of all aspects of human life. This function is taken over by the norms of etiquette.

All the rules are aimed at achieving success in all areas of human life and are designed to help the individual turn the situation in the right direction, create a favorable impression of himself, arrange the interlocutor, join any society.

Thus, we can distinguish the main functions of etiquette as a science:

• Contact establishment function. Proper greeting and familiarity will help win over a person from the first seconds. After a competent start, the channel of the conversation takes the right direction and plays into the hands during the entire period of the relationship. To set the right tone will help compliance with the rules of etiquette.
• The function of developing the skill of conducting a conversation and maintaining non-verbal contact. Small talk is an obligatory attribute of any official and informal event. With the advent of virtual communication, a modern person loses the ability to support a conversation, forgets about controlling his gestures and facial expressions. For those who feel insecure in this aspect, it is recommended to train in front of a mirror, read more fiction try to retell the plot of the story.

Use a tape recorder to listen to your story from the side - assessing your own strength will help you improve in the art of conversation.

• Demonstrate a courteous, respectful attitude towards others. There is a saying: “Politeness is the best weapon thief." It should not be taken literally, but should be taken into service. A person who shows courtesy to others and respect for elders is always met with joy, they seek to help him, forgive a lot.
• The function of regulating people's behavior. This function is one of the most important, because it does not apply to a specific individual, it helps to restrain the entire society as a whole within the framework of ethical standards. Observing the norms of etiquette, a person becomes predictable, it is easier to “deal” with him, his reactions are quite understandable.
• Etiquette helps in conflict prevention. One of the main criteria for observing the rules of decency is the ability to control one's emotions. Most often, quarrels and disagreements can be settled peacefully, adhering to the norms of etiquette.

Thus, etiquette is aimed at creating a highly moral, highly organized, intellectual society. Compliance or non-compliance with the rules of this phenomenon helps to evaluate a person within certain capital limits.

High secular society will not allow an individual who neglects the norms of good manners, whose manners do not correspond to generally accepted standards.

Principles

The foundation or skeleton of etiquette are the principles on which all norms of behavior were created. Separate rules regulating, for example, the correct address to elders or good manners at the table, as if strung on this backbone, introduce specifics and point to the only correct option.

It is the basis of etiquette that is closely connected with the concept of ethics and morality. Based on this statement, we can single out the main principles of the phenomenon:

• Humanism and humanity. The essence of the concept of "humanity" is that each person should treat others the way he would like to be treated. main idea, which the phenomenon of "humanism" carries in itself, is the freedom of choice of a person, freedom of action, the opportunity to develop and choose one's own path of development, the realization of one's goals. This statement means that no one can prevent a person from managing his life. It is worth making a remark: human freedoms are limited by the criminal and civil codes.
• Tolerance. This concept is close in meaning to the concept of "humanism". Tolerance is tolerance for strangers: worldview, religious predilections, appearance, physical features, lifestyle. Do not compare this concept with indifference. You can be involved in the life and situation of another person, but remain tolerant.

• The principle of control over the aesthetic appeal of actions. You should always watch your gestures and facial expressions. A cheeky gait, waving arms while talking, a provocative posture or indecent gestures can be regarded as disrespectful to others or lack of proper upbringing. A real lady or gentleman always, as they say, "keep himself in hand", not allowing himself to be discredited by inappropriate movements.

By the way, some gestures in a particular country may differ. For example, the sign of negation, which is familiar in Russia - rhythmic turns of the head to the left and right, in Bulgaria has the opposite meaning - this is how the Bulgarians agree with each other. This is another reason to abandon the brightly colored non-verbal ways of transmitting information.

• The principle of traditions and customs. Etiquette in different countries may differ depending on the traditions, religion or historical past of the country. Thus, addressing a girl in France sounds like "mademoiselle", to older women - "madame", while in England - "miss" and "miss", respectively. In addition, there are deeper differences between the etiquette of different countries. For example, the etiquette of Muslim states is very much tied to the religious characteristics of the people.
• Principle of modesty, courtesy and tact. Modesty is the best ornament of a person. Do not confuse this concept with shyness. A self-confident person does not shout about his merits in society, but he knows his own worth and observes the principle of modesty. A polite, tactful person will never offend another, will always find a way to make a remark so as not to affect the feelings of a person, will never comment on someone's behavior in public, will not allow himself to evaluate someone's actions or words.
• All actions must be appropriate to the circumstances. Sometimes in a given situation, knowledge about how to do the right thing is not enough. In this case, you should use common sense.

You should act in such a way as not to put other people in an awkward and difficult position. First of all, it is worth taking care of the well-being of others, putting personal interests in the background.

Basic concepts

Etiquette is a very broad concept that includes different aspects and aspects of human behavior. The concept is based on many components of etiquette.

Speech or verbal etiquette

In any society, you should watch your speech. Not only the content must comply with generally accepted standards, but also the timbre, intonation, speed, and tone of speech play an important role.

State your thoughts clearly, do not stretch, but do not chatter. The interlocutor should be able to make out all the words, to catch the meaning of what was said. Calm and confident intonation contributes to the development of conversation, strengthening relationships.

Verbal etiquette skills can be learned. For training, you will need a stopwatch and any object (comb, scissors, sugar bowl). Turn on the timer, then talk about the selected subject for three minutes. Make sure that thoughts do not repeat themselves, follow all the basic laws of speech etiquette.

Once the story is easy to come by and is at least three minutes long, increase the length to five minutes, and so on. It’s a good idea to add a voice recorder to such training in order to listen to your monologue, evaluating its content, your voice (tone and timbre). Performing such simple actions regularly will allow you to master the culture of speech. Now, no matter what was discussed, you can talk for a long time, and most importantly, it is interesting for others.

In relation to the narrator, the listener must also fulfill a number of requirements. First, in no case should you interrupt someone who is speaking. This is a show of disrespect. It is important to ask a few clarifying questions after the end of the interlocutor's phrase in order to show your interest and participation.

You should never comment on someone or someone's actions with negative connotations.. Always remember about essential functions etiquette - humanism and tolerance, as well as tact and politeness. Even if personal feelings were hurt, you should remain silent and, if possible, simply stop communicating with the offender.

Non-verbal etiquette

Non-verbal communication is communication through body language, facial expressions. It is always very important to watch your gestures and facial expressions.

Looseness in movements is not accepted in any respectable society. The posture should be restrained, not vulgar. While talking, do not use your hands to gesticulate. It is especially striking when someone at the table is waving instruments during a conversation. Such behavior is regarded as the height of indecency.

Too emotionally expressed facial expressions are considered inappropriate in society. For example, do not open your mouth wide in surprise. The gaze should be directed towards the interlocutor; when talking, it is advisable to look into his eyes or at the bridge of the nose.

Etiquette proxemics

Proxemics is the study of space and time sign system in society. In different countries, taking into account the peculiarities of traditions, religions, one can talk about a different level of comfort when encroaching on personal space, but there are generally accepted norms.

Always remember distance. The optimal distance between interlocutors is 1 meter. Invasion of personal space can cause hostility and, as a result, the termination of communication between people. This also includes touch.

It is acceptable to shake hands during a meeting or acquaintance, provided that the initiator is a woman or a senior in rank or age.

Etiquette proxemics also includes rules governing, for example, the place of a particular guest in the house at the table. So, the hosts take a place at the head of the table, the guest of honor - right hand from the owner, younger and children - in the far corner.

Label paraphernalia

The world of things is not last place in etiquette. This section can include such phenomena as table setting, the ability to use cutlery correctly, the appropriate choice of outfit for a particular occasion, knowledge of how to properly sign a card or give a gift, present flowers.

Communication rules

The rules of communication usually depend on the situation, but the basic postulates are common to everyone, therefore, in the process of creating an etiquette set of rules, speech formulas. They are designed to become the standard of how to properly conduct a conversation with a particular person.

Before proceeding directly to speech formulas, it is necessary to determine the structure and types of communication. Thus, it is divided into:

• oral (speaking, listening);
• written: (writing, reading).

Oral and written communication differs in the type of presentation, the way to perceive information.

During a personal conversation, an information field is created before our eyes, the speaker has the opportunity to use timbre, intonation, facial expressions and gestures during a conversation, he actively works with his voice.

Writing allows the narrator to devote more time to selecting accurate language tools, find the right words, accurately follow the thread of the story, and also makes it possible to correct and edit what is written.

A letter or conversation, including a telephone conversation, can be divided into certain stages:

• the beginning of the relationship (greeting, acquaintance);
• the main part of the conversation;
• ending the conversation, debriefing and farewell.

From how the first stage went, one can judge about further development conversations and relationships in general. Etiquette comes to the rescue in creating a favorable image. Its rules govern the sequence of greetings:

• the younger in age, service rank or rank is the first to greet the elder;
• a gentleman greets a lady;
• a young girl - a man older than herself;
• a single lady is the first to greet a married couple;
• when two couples meet, women first greet each other, then men with women, and only then men shake hands;
• during telephone conversation the first to greet the one who got through;
• the letter always begins with the words of greeting.

To properly greet a person, you should be guided by the appropriate specific situation speech formula:

• "Hello! » - a universal variant for a greeting;
• "Good afternoon good evening", " good morning» - depends on the time of day, is also considered universal;
• "Hey! "- an informal greeting, suitable for meeting old acquaintances, friends;
• “I wish you well! "- a specific speech formula used in military etiquette.

In addition to verbal ways of greeting, there are non-verbal techniques that are actively used in secular society:

• head nod (used mainly by women);
• men raise their hats in greeting if a familiar person passes by a few meters away;
• at balls and in court etiquette, ladies curtsy at a meeting or a new acquaintance;
• men kiss a lady's hand or shake hands;
• close people kiss each other on the cheek.

The dating stage is very important and requires careful preparation. It is better if strangers are introduced to each other, for example, by the owner celebratory event or a common friend. Some time ago, it was considered indecent for both a man and a woman to take the initiative by getting to know each other on their own. However, times are changing, the lady can be the first to start a conversation and introduce herself.

One way or another, there is a certain order that, according to the rules of etiquette, is followed at the time of acquaintance:

• the man appears first to the woman;
• a woman introduces herself first if the acquaintance occurs with a man or lady older than her;
• a single person is always the first to introduce himself to a married couple or group of people.

If the task is to introduce two strangers to each other, there is the following sequence:

• the lady is first introduced to the man, she, in turn, decides whether or not to give a hand;
• the first to introduce the eldest in age or official position to the one who is younger;
• the owner of the house, the organizer of the evening, introduces the newcomer to the whole company, calling his name first;
• during the presentation of a relative, the first name is the degree of kinship, then the name (“Meet my niece Olga”);
• introducing his friend to his parents, the first name of a friend is called;
• introducing peers, the first name is a closer friend.

To introduce two people to each other, you should choose the right moment, so you should not interrupt the conversation of one of them. Don't let two strangers down to each other and invite them to get to know each other on their own. Such a gesture is regarded as the height of indecency.

When introducing yourself, or at the moment when the guest is introduced by the host, you should not sit on a chair, you should stand up and greet a new acquaintance. The exception is the elderly, who are allowed to remain in their place.

After the introduction to new acquaintances, you should say to each other: “Very glad to meet you! or “Nice to meet you! ". Acquaintance can be sealed with a handshake, but the usual nod of the head, a slight bow is also allowed.

After a greeting, a first acquaintance, a woman or an older person can start a conversation. She should be supported. In the rules of etiquette, there are topics that should be avoided in a secular society and at the first meeting - this is politics and religion. Do not categorically express your thoughts and start an argument. It is necessary to adhere to the principle of humanism and tolerance.

After the end of the event, it is worth saying goodbye to a new acquaintance, once again expressing the pleasure of meeting, hoping for a new one soon. Farewell may also be accompanied by a handshake, with an old friend or relative, an exchange of hugs or kisses on the cheek is allowed.

General rules visits to social events or holidays on the occasion of a birthday, name day, New Year and others involve the following aspects:

• Punctuality. It is very important to come to any meeting exactly at the appointed time. It is not a good idea to arrive early as the hosts may not be ready and this may put them in a difficult position. Being late is all the more unacceptable. In case of force majeure, you should call in advance and discuss exact time arrival.
• Appearance must match the event.
• When attending an event in which a feast is expected, you should not come empty-handed. You should bring cookies, cakes or sweets and hand them to the hostess. The hostess must put treats on the table.
• Entering the room, in which the guests have already gathered at the table, it is necessary to greet everyone at once, take a look at each guest, smile.
• Sitting down at the table, once again greet the neighbors on the left and right hand.
• You should not wish the audience a pleasant appetite, this expression is considered indecent in secular circles.
• At the end of the evening, thank the hostess, give a positive assessment of her culinary skills and the evening as a whole.

It is necessary to highlight separately the laws of etiquette that relate to telephone conversations. It is especially important to follow the rules during business calls or calls to unfamiliar and complete strangers. Large firms develop standards for their employees, which the employee strictly fulfills every day in his work. So the company's management creates the necessary image and authority in the eyes of its customers.

Regardless of who receives or makes calls - a civil servant, a commercial employee or a call is of a purely secular nature - The following rules serve as the basis for telephone conversations:

1. Phone calls should be made from 9:00 to 21:00.
2. It is imperative to greet the person, introduce yourself. If a phone call wears business character be sure to name your regalia.
3. Ask the interlocutor whether it is convenient for him to talk.
4. Name the purpose of the call, ask a question of interest.
5. After the topic of the call is exhausted, you need to thank for the answer and say goodbye.

If you answer a phone call, you must greet the caller if he did not name himself, clarify how he can be contacted, answer the question and say goodbye. There are rules of etiquette for answering an incoming call for employees of firms and organizations. The employee should say hello, announce the name of the company, his position, last name and first name. Then ask the question “How can I help you? " or alternatives offered by the employer.

The requirements for the letter resonate with the stages of a normal conversation: a greeting with an address by name, the main idea stated in the subject of the letter, farewell and a signature. The signature in a personal letter, as a rule, is of an intimate nature, in a business letter it is official, listing the regalia, surname, name and patronymic.

Conversation is the most reliable way conveying information. During a conversation, you can find out the opinion and side of the opponent, create agreements, draw a personal portrait of the interlocutor for yourself, find out what drives a person when making certain decisions, and, importantly, enjoy and satisfaction from a pleasant pastime.

There are two main types of conversation:

• business;
• secular.

The first type of communication involves strict adherence to all norms and rules of business etiquette. In a business environment, it is imperative to adhere to a set of these rules so that the relationship between partners and colleagues is as predictable as possible. Everyone values ​​their time, money and reputation.

Basic laws of business communication:

• Punctuality or time management. The concept of business punctuality includes not only the fact of arriving at a meeting at the appointed time. Compliance with the time frame for the execution of the contract, making a call within the agreed time frame, performing work by an employee for a certain time, the ability to briefly and clearly formulate one's thoughts - also relate to the phenomenon of punctuality.

In order not to get into an awkward situation associated with the violation of temporary agreements, an employee of any level must comprehend the science of planning his labor day. This is what time management does.

• Attitude towards work. To successfully run a business and move up the career ladder, you should be conscientious about your work, minimize the percentage of errors. You should not often take breaks for tea, linger from lunch, be distracted by personal calls, talk with colleagues on abstract topics.
• trade secret. All financial transactions and terms of contracts with counterparties are classified information. Employees are required not to share this information. Currently, the condition of keeping a trade secret is included in paragraphs employment contract. Penal and administrative sanctions may be applied to an employee of an organization for the dissemination of information related to a trade secret.
• Dress code. Business attire is a prerequisite for successful cooperation and workflow. The choice of an appropriate suit forces a person to comply with the decency accepted in society, creates a certain image, makes others see a professional in a person.

Do not forget that each employee is the face of the company, so it is important that each employee looks neat, presentable and in the context of a business style.

• Desktop. There must be order on the table of an employee and a boss of any rank. Each document should be in its place, have a neat appearance. This is necessary so that the employee can always quickly find the necessary information and transfer it to colleagues or partners upon request. AT large organizations there are written rules about what items should be on the table, as well as in what places to lie.
• Subordination. You can not show familiarity with your colleagues, and even more so older in age and official position. The position of a particular individual is due to his being at a certain level of the hierarchy. Thus, the employee cannot distribute service tasks to his supervisor. However, the reverse process is taken for granted by everyone.
• Mutual courtesy and tact in resolving controversial issues. It is important to be able to argue your conclusions, all statements must have specific character, the words do not contradict each other. At the time of resolution of disputes or conflict situations it is not allowed to offend the feelings and personality of the opponent, it is necessary to learn how to properly accept victory or defeat.

• Competently defending your position is an important skill in conducting business negotiations and the work process in general. In order for the conversation to turn out to be constructive, the image of the person and the company not to be damaged, one should prepare in advance for a meeting with a partner. You should think about what arguments the counterparty can bring in order to be ready for a response.

So, etiquette makes it possible to make relationships predictable, because most of arguments can discredit one of the partners. However, few people are ready to present such arguments and terminate partnerships.

An example of a business letter indicating the need for a meeting:

“Good afternoon, colleagues!

Today, 03.02.2018, a meeting will be held in the director's office. The issue of staff turnover and options for correcting the situation will be discussed. I ask the personnel department to prepare the necessary figures and reports, the heads of departments - a list of requirements for candidates, HR - ways to manage staff turnover.

The time of the meeting is 14:00 – 15:30.

Sincerely,

director of "Manager" LLC

Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich"

Taking into account all the above basics of business etiquette, an employee will easily receive good performance, and consequently, will achieve a promotion.

Small talk is less formal. This is especially evident in communication with close friends and relatives. However, the basics remain unchanged - punctuality, courtesy and tact, respect and reverence for elders, modesty and humanity.

How to dress properly?

Clothing has a huge impact on the assessment of a person in society, and on how the individual himself feels. To achieve harmony in these hypostases, you should know the following: the outfit should be appropriate, neat, it should not contain vulgar elements, it should be comfortable and strictly correspond to the occasion.

Casual clothing should not provoke the public, its main task is to be neat and comfortable. Whereas for a trip to a restaurant, it is best for a woman to choose a cocktail evening dress, and for a man to wear a suit.

It often happens that invitation cards at a social event, you can see the postscript: “Dress-kode Black Tie”. Such a message obliges a man to appear in a tuxedo (or black suit), and a woman in a long dark evening dress.

When choosing clothes, one should strictly adhere to the specifics of the event, season, specific weather, time of day.

It must be remembered: a tracksuit is appropriate only for the gym or purely sports events on the fresh air, high heels and a miniskirt are not worn for a picnic, a swimsuit can only be worn on the beach.

Separately, it is worth mentioning the make-up. In the daytime, a woman should not paint brightly, it is necessary to select decorative cosmetics in natural tones. An evening out allows you to apply any lipstick and shiny shadows.

Behavior in public places

Good manners in public places are based on the principle: not to cause difficulties and inconvenience to others. It is always necessary to think about the well-being of strangers, and if, through negligence, any actions have affected someone's feelings or physically interfered with an outsider, you should definitely apologize.

In public places, they don’t talk or laugh loudly, they don’t wave their arms, they don’t try to skip the line, they don’t get into skirmishes and arguments with strangers.

Sometimes you have to turn to a stranger for help. In this case, you should not attract his attention with the phrase “woman! or “man! ”, you should approach the person and ask: “Excuse me, please, could you help me? ". Next, you need to state the essence of the issue. This speech formula is universal for men and women, and such fleeting communication does not require introduction and personal acquaintance.

You should not eat on the go, as well as in public places that are not provided for this.. There is a chance of choking or staining others. Smoking in public places is prohibited not only by state law, but also by the rules of etiquette. It is indecent to point and discuss passers-by. In public transport, you should give up your seat to the elderly, the disabled and passengers with children.

National Features

The generally accepted code of etiquette is considered international. It is adhered to European countries, USA, Russia and others. However, some rules may differ due to their own traditions, history and culture.

These differences are especially noticeable with the advance to the east. Majority Eastern countries profess Islam or Buddhism. Both religions have a strong influence on the secular life of the people living there.

The Muslim model of good manners is the verses of the Qur'an. Religion calls on each of its bearers to be modest, charitable, sympathetic, hardworking, to be wary of debauchery, vulgar thoughts, abuse.

For women, this is the education of humility and chastity from childhood. Thus, the etiquette of Islam reads:

1. A woman should not look into the eyes of a strange man, even at a wedding, the eyes of the bride are fixed on the floor.
2. A woman completely obeys the opinion of a man, has no right to contradict, to enter into an argument.
3. The hijab completely covers the legs to the ankles, the arms to the wrists, its color is not bright, often black.
4. A Muslim woman marries exclusively a virgin, otherwise she will be dishonored.

Often, ignorance of the exact rules of etiquette is compensated by such human qualities as morality, modesty and politeness. It is important to be able to restrain your emotions, not succumb to provocations, use your smile as a weapon, be an open and cheerful person.

Before visiting an important social event, you should familiarize yourself with the rules of good manners, adopt speech formulas that may come in handy. It is also important to choose the right clothes.

For those who dream of a high official position, it is worth training in oratory, in the ability to defend their position without violating the rules of etiquette, and to study time management.

Going on a trip, get acquainted with the cultural characteristics of the country, religion and moral standards. Example: when visiting a Muslim state, think over your wardrobe, you should not appear in public places in clothes that open your shoulders, stomach, knees.