Godfather to the godson's wife. Who is the godfather of the child's father: names, family ties, common misconceptions

The theme of “godparents and godsons,” of course, is not comparable with the eternal theme of “fathers and sons,” but nevertheless, it is also very relevant in our time. After all, the traditions of succession were interrupted. And it often turns out that people who are far from the Church, but still want to baptize a child, choose a godfather for him for purely everyday reasons. And in the families of churchgoers, sometimes stumbling blocks arise in the relationship between godparents and godchildren. About some similar problems we want to talk.

Background
The role of godparents among the first Christians cannot be understood without knowing the conditions in which they lived.
Communities of the first Christians gathered in their homes. Sometimes houses were even specially rebuilt - internal partitions were demolished and a baptismal place was set up. The photo shows such a rebuilt house from the 3rd century. Baptistery in the Meeting House. Dura-Europos (Syria).

According to the imperial edicts, Christianity was outlawed as a harmful sect. Introducing someone to a creed that denied the divinity of the ruling Augustus and forbade making obligatory sacrifices to the gods and images of the emperor was considered as state crime and was prosecuted under the law of insulting the majesty of the emperor.
For Roman Christians, it was important to provide such instruction and education to the newly baptized that would help them become true members of the Church. The situation was especially complicated by the fact that, unlike later times, the bulk of those baptized were not infants, but adults who came to baptism consciously. This forced Christians to maintain a long period of clarification for them to assimilate the essence of the doctrine and help them, keeping them from doubts and deviations.
Household slaves lived in the houses of wealthy Romans - servants, educators, and wet nurses for children. In fact, they were the younger members of the family, involved in all its affairs. Christianity gradually spread among them, and for a person attached to children, it was natural to try to save the child for future life. This gave rise to the secret teaching of children in the basics of the Christian faith and their baptism by people who were not related to them by blood. These people became their successors, godparents.
During the baptism of an adult, the recipient was a witness and guarantor for the seriousness of the intention and for the right faith of the person being baptized. At the baptism of infants and the sick, speechless, the recipients made vows and recited the Creed. The 54th rule of the Council of Carthage provided: “Sick people who cannot answer for themselves will be baptized when, by their will, others testify about them, under their own responsibility.”
In development of the 83rd and 72nd rules of the Council of Carthage, the Council of Trullo, in the 84th rule, established that found children, about whose baptism there is no reliable information, also had to be baptized. In this case, the recipients actually became the children's mentors.
Initially, only one recipient participated in baptism: when baptizing a woman, a woman, and a man, a man. Subsequently, the analogy with physical birth was extended to baptism: people began to participate in it simultaneously Godfather And godmother.
Church rules (and, in full agreement with them, the civil laws of the Empire that adopted Christianity) did not allow the physical parents of the person being baptized (people who were already close to him), minors (people who, due to their age, were unable to provide spiritual guidance) and monks (people renounced from the world).
In Russia in the 18th-19th centuries, children in villages were baptized in infancy a few days, or less often weeks, from birth. The latter was not associated with any special customs, but, for example, with the remoteness of the village from the temple.
As a rule (exceptions were extremely rare), recipients participated in the baptism of children. They tried to choose them among people they knew well, more often relatives.
Among Slavic peoples, including among Russians, the custom of having both a godfather and a godmother spread very quickly. They had to be of legal age and capable of performing their duties responsibly. In 1836, the Synod established the lower age limit for godparents - 14 years. When performing the sacrament itself, the duties of the godfather included paying all material expenses for its implementation and the subsequent celebration, as well as taking care of the cross for the baby. The godmother was required to present the baby with a robe - a cloth in which he was wrapped after taking him out of the font, a blanket and a baptismal shirt.
Often they tried to find godparents among blood relatives who could take responsibility for raising children in the event of the death of their parents. This practice was not condemned: it was believed that family relations only getting stronger.

Yaroslav ZVEREV

Wedding General or Fairy Godmother?

A godfather or, in other words, a godfather is a person who takes upon himself the responsibility for the church upbringing of a child. He makes vows to Christ for his godson, renounces Satan, reads the Creed during the Sacrament of Baptism. After the baby is immersed in the font three times, the priest passes him into the arms of his godfather, who receives him from the font - hence the “receiver.”
But the Sacrament of Baptism was completed, it was celebrated, life moved on, and after a while the parents of the baptized baby have complaints: “the godfather forgets us” - he communicates little with the child, rarely calls, to the point of disappearing from life altogether godson. What’s upsetting is not even the fact that the godfather rarely appears (this, of course, is unpleasant, but understandable, given how busy everyone is today). It's a shame to have a formal attitude towards the recipient. For example, one girl said that they invited an authoritative church-going person to be her godfather, but throughout her life he never tried to establish contact with her. Once, long ago, in childhood, he gave her a bouquet of flowers - this is her only memory of him. Of course, the godfather prayed for her - this is the duty of the godparent under any circumstances - but this was clearly not enough for the child.
Speaking about the duties of a godfather, it is difficult to list: they say, he must do this and that. Everything - except prayer - depends on the situation. Often godparents see their help only in “transporting” the child to the temple and back. But if the godson’s parents need help, and the godfather has free time, then going for a walk with your child or staying at home with him is a duty of love. Many "prudent" (in in a good way this word) parents, thinking about who to ask to become a godfather, choose precisely such godparents on whom they can rely.
In addition, godparents need to remember how important it is for any children - from church and non-church families - to feel a sense of celebration and friendly communication. For example, one young woman recalled that as a child, her godmother always took her to the Shokoladnitsa cafe or the Anchor fish restaurant after communion. A visit to the temple turned into friendly communication for festive table, all together left an impression in my memory fairy tale. Of course, communication was not limited to this. The godmother took her to monasteries and read good books, for example, Nikiforova-Volgina (and she read it out loud herself, and did not give the “correct” book for show), and made memorable gifts. You could always call your godmother before a difficult exam asking for prayer help - and be sure that she would pray for you.

Unchurched family: insist or give up?
Godparents, when talking about difficulties in relationships with godchildren, most often mention situations related to the fact that the godson’s parents are not churchgoers. For example, at first they promised not to interfere with the child’s churching, they even showed interest in the Church, but soon after baptism they forgot about all the promises. In words, it seems that the possibility of communication remains, but in reality... In the summer you need to go to the dacha, in the winter there is a flu epidemic. The rest of the time, I have a runny nose, or need to visit my grandmother, or go to the market to buy overalls, and in general, Sunday is the only day off when you can get enough sleep. And if you manage to go to church with your godson at least twice a year, that’s good.
In general, before agreeing to become godfather of the child from an unchurched family, consultation with a confessor is required. But what to do if the child has already been baptized, and the parents, despite their promises, remain indifferent to the Church?
Godparents familiar with this situation advise not to take the child to a temple located far from the godson’s home. It is better to go to the nearest church, having previously found out when the service begins and what time is most convenient to give the child communion. If there are several temples near your house, then it is better to find out where it is less crowded, where the atmosphere is calmer and more welcoming.
Should a godfather, who is not allowed to fulfill his direct duties, insist on his rights? It can be assumed that aggressive preaching is likely to cause rejection. Does this mean we should give up? In answer to this question good story said Archpriest Theodore BORODIN, rector of the Church of the Holy Unmercenaries and Wonderworkers Cosmas and Damian on Maroseyka: “My sister and I met my future godmother, seemingly by accident. Some woman was moving into our house, and my father was asked to move her furniture. Her father saw her icons. Therefore, when later there was talk of baptizing their children, the parents turned to her - to Vera Alekseevna. This unexpected meeting changed our entire subsequent lives. Everyone thought that we would be baptized - that’s all, but Vera Alekseevna began to enlighten us and, apparently, prayed very hard for us. She took us to the temple. It was very difficult for me. All is mine childhood memory from the temple - it was only back pain and sandwiches that she gave us when we, tired and hungry, left the church after communion.
It happens that some godparents pray, worry about the child, but are afraid of being intrusive.
But she insisted, said: “You promised me,” warned: “In two weeks I will take Anya and Fedya to the temple, please, don’t let them eat in the morning.” She asked: “Anya and Fedya, have you read your prayers?” I remember she gave us a prayer book and marked three prayers that should be read. Two weeks later she came to us: “Well, Fedya, did you read your prayers?” I say yes". She took the prayer book and said: “If you were reading it, then the first paper cover would be crushed like this, this is not the case, which means you rarely opened it. It’s not good to deceive your godmother.” I felt ashamed, and from then on I began to say prayers.
We were also drawn into the circle of Christian education that took place at the godmother’s house. She had several dozen godchildren. She tried to reach their hearts through evenings of reading, Christian rethinking of poetry, music, and literature. Thanks to this, we discovered faith in a completely new way. We learned that Orthodoxy is not old women in church, that the heritage of all Russian culture is essentially Orthodox. She managed to truly church very a large number of of people. Among her godchildren are three priests, many people living a full church life. Despite the fact that most of us were from families absolutely far from the Church.”
If it turns out that relations with the non-church parents of your godson have reached a dead end and your life paths separated, and the child is still too young to communicate independently, then you should not turn into a “wedding general”. It would be more honest to simply pray heartily for this child.

Teenager
Many priests and teachers warn that during adolescence, a child will almost inevitably rebel against parental authority and seek support outside the family. “This is age feature for teenagers - they definitely need someone outside the family, an authoritative adult who they can rely on. And a godfather can become such an authority,” says Elena Vladimirovna VOSPENNIKOVA, a Sunday school teacher at the Church of St. Nicholas in Kuznetsy. — How to prepare yourself for this? Firstly, the godfather must take part in the child’s life from childhood, in any issues not only related to the Church. Communication with the godfather should be versatile - this also helps in homework, and going to the theater together, and discussing what is interesting to both you and the child. Secondly, the godfather must be an authority for the child. And this is only possible when the child sees that you are doing it sincerely, not out of duty.”
But it is important not only to save a good relationship. The main thing is to help the teenager not lose faith. How to do it? Only by personal example. Elena Vasilyevna KRYLOVA, teacher at the St. Demetrius School of Sisters of Charity: “If a child sees that it is impossible for the godfather to stay at home on Sunday instead of going to the Liturgy, that the life of the godfather does not exist without the church, only then the words of the godfather can be heard. If a child feels, through participation in church sacraments, through communication with his godfather, that there is another life, then even if he falls away in the ordeals of adolescence, he will then return to the Church. And you can attract a teenager to the temple through common activities. Now in the youth world outside the Church, everything is limited to parties, discos, but teenagers need real things to do.”
There are a lot of such things in the Church: trips to orphanages, helping people, missionary trips, restoration of ancient churches with young people from “Restavros” in the most picturesque places and much more!



Baptism in an orphanage
IN ancient Church infants were not baptized without guardians, since Christian upbringing could not be guaranteed in pagan families. And now it is impossible to baptize a child without an adult recipient. But what about children in orphanages and orphanages? After all, the situation here is completely special. The baby's godparents (if they can be found) should be traced future fate it's very difficult for your godson
Is this a reason to refuse to baptize abandoned babies altogether? Svetlana POKROVSKAYA, Head of the Board of Trustees of St. Alexia: “Once a month we go to a children’s hospital where newborn abandoned children with severe heart defects are kept. Children are usually nameless. The priest names them and baptizes them. Subsequently, we cannot trace the fate of these children; the hospital administration does not provide such information. Many of them die before reaching three or four months. And we cannot guarantee a Christian upbringing for the surviving children. Therefore, our activities cause contradictory attitudes. It happened that I applied to a priest with a request for baptism, but he refused to baptize without godparents, and such godparents who would bear their responsibilities in full until adoption. But many other priests believe that it is impossible to deprive babies of grace just because there are no recipients. After all, a godfather can pray for a child, write his name in notes, so that a particle can be taken out at the altar for a sick, suffering child, and this is very important. Therefore, we ask those who agree to be godparents to first of all pray for the children.”
The situation when an orphanage child is baptized at a conscious age is significantly different from the previous one. Here the godfather must understand that children become very attached to adults who show attention to them, and therefore it will be impossible to leave the child once he has started communicating with him. Many are afraid of such responsibility, they are afraid that the child will want to be taken into the family. Marina NEFEDOVA (she, along with other parishioners of the Church of the Annunciation in Fedosino, helps the nearest orphanage baptize children), based on his experience, says: “Children over seven years old understand that their godfather takes them to church, visits them, but does not become an adoptive parent. It seems to me that it would be very good if the orphanage children had godparents who would communicate with them for many years.”
It happens that people are asked to become godparents too often. But there are reasonable human limits. According to many confessors, you should soberly assess your capabilities and try to be constant in those relationships that already exist. After all, they will ask us what we did and how we took care of those we received from the font.

Veronica BUZYNKINA

Archpriest Mikhail Vorobyov, rector of the church in honor of the Exaltation of the Precious and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord in the city of Volsk, answers questions about godparents

Is it possible to refuse to participate in Baptism? They say that if you refuse to be a godfather, then you refuse the cross.

Of course, it is not worth giving up the cross that the Lord gives to every person to strengthen his spiritual strength. Yes, this is impossible, because, refusing one cross, a person immediately receives a new one, which most often turns out to be heavier than the previous one. However, the duties of godparents can hardly be considered a moral test from which it is a sin to refuse.

The very name “godparents” (in the rite of the sacrament of Baptism they are called more neutrally - godparents) shows that their responsibilities are very serious. They consist in caring about the right spiritual development godson, in his upbringing in accordance with the moral principles of the Orthodox faith. God-parents They guarantee before God that their godson or daughter will grow up to be a decent, worthy, believing person, that he or she will feel the need to live a full church life. In addition, godparents are obliged to help their godchildren with ordinary everyday needs, to provide them not only spiritual, but also material assistance.

If some circumstances do not allow you to confidently accept such responsibility, if there is no sincere love to the intended godson, it is better to refuse the honorary offer to become a godfather.

Two years ago, my relatives asked me to become a godmother. Now they demand gifts from me, tell me where and what to buy, without asking what my current situation is. financial situation what I can or cannot buy. What should I do?

Perhaps we should remind our godfathers of the Russian proverb: “Stretch your legs according to your clothes.” By becoming a godmother, you, first of all, accepted the responsibility to raise your godson in the spirit of Christian values. These, by the way, include moderation in meeting material needs. Try to conscientiously fulfill this basic duty: teach your child to pray, read the Gospel with him, explaining its meaning, attend divine services. Gifts, especially those that bring spiritual benefit and delight the child, are, of course, also a good thing. But you did not undertake any obligation to fully replace your natural parents. In addition, another proverb is true: “There is no judgment.”

Can my sister, whose son I baptized, become the godmother of my child?

Maybe. There are no canonical obstacles to this.

My husband and I are not married. But we became godparents of our relative, who was baptized as an adult. I didn’t immediately get into the ritual, but then I found out that it wasn’t possible. And now our marriage is falling apart. What to do?!

The circumstance you are talking about can under no circumstances be grounds for divorce. On the contrary, try to save your marriage. If this fails, together with ex-husband continue to diligently fulfill your duties as godparents.

What should the child’s parents do if his godfather has forgotten about his godson and does not fulfill his duties? How to proceed?

If the godfather is a relative or close friend family, it is worth reminding him of the responsibility that he bears before God for the correct Christian upbringing of his godson. If the godfather turned out to be random, and even not a church person at all, you should only blame yourself for a frivolous attitude towards the choice of a successor.

In this case, the parents themselves must diligently do what the godfather is obliged to do: raise the child in the spirit of Christian piety, accustom him to participate in divine services, introduce him to cultural wealth Orthodox Church.

Can I adopt my godson's child?

You can; There are no canonical obstacles to the adoption of a godson.

We decided to take relatives as our son’s godparents: our baby’s uncle and cousin, between them they are father and daughter. Please clarify, is this allowed? Let me explain that the choice was made consciously, and these are the people, in my opinion, who can be spiritual mentors for our child.

Your choice is quite acceptable if the intended godmother is not a minor child. After all, adoptees take on adult responsibility; they are obliged to raise their godson in the spirit of Christian values, which means they themselves must know what these values ​​are, love the Church, worship, and live a church life.

Is it possible, being already the godfather of the eldest child in the family, to also become the godfather of the youngest?

If the godfather responsibly and conscientiously fulfills his duties towards his godson, then he may well become a godfather for his godson. younger brother (Bulgakov S.V. A clergyman's handbook. M., 1913. P. 994).

Please tell me whether siblings can be godparents. And one more thing: can a 12-year-old girl be a godmother?

Siblings can be godparents of the same child. A twelve-year-old girl can also become a godmother only if she was raised in Orthodox tradition, has a strong faith, knows the doctrine of the Church and understands the godfather’s responsibility for the fate of his godson.

Are there dogmatic or canonical obstacles to nepotism between spouses; in other words, can my wife and I become godparents to our friends’ child? Can godfathers and godfathers who were not married at the time of Baptism subsequently become husband and wife? I heard that there is no consensus in the Church on this matter.

Article 211 of the Nomocanon prohibits a husband and wife from being children of the same child. However, some decrees of the highest ecclesiastical authority of the Russian Orthodox Church (see about this: Bulgakov S.V. A clergyman's handbook. M., 1913. P. 994) cancel the specified requirement of Nomocanon. In the current situation, in my opinion, one should adhere to the more ancient tradition, especially since in the Russian Orthodox Church it for a long time was considered the only correct one. In the case where the child’s parents absolutely desire to have their spouses as their adoptive parents, they should submit a corresponding petition to the Ruling Bishop of the diocese in which the sacrament of Baptism is supposed to be performed.

Recipients of the same child who were not married at the time of Baptism are not considered to be spiritually related. Therefore, in the future they can enter into legal marriage without any obstacles ( Bulgakov S.V. Handbook of a clergyman. M., 1913. P. 1184).

In fairness, it should be noted that there is an opposite opinion on this matter, which was held, for example, by St. Philaret of Moscow. If a priest refuses to marry the successors of the same child, one should also contact the Ruling Bishop of the diocese where the wedding is expected to take place.

Can the godfather have other godchildren?

It is allowed to have any number of godchildren. However, when inviting a godfather for your child, you should think about whether he can adequately fulfill his duties, whether he has enough love, mental strength and material resources for the proper Christian upbringing of his godson.

At my cousin 10 years ago a son was born with congenital defect hearts. The doctors said that the situation was bad, and the sister decided to baptize him right in the hospital. She was lying in a special box, where no one except doctors was allowed. Only the priest was allowed in to baptize the child. I was only told later that I was registered as a godfather. Later, in Moscow, the child underwent surgery, he got back on his feet, thank God. And in January, my friend’s son was born, and he invited me to become godfather. Can I be a godfather?

I repeat, it is allowed to have any number of godchildren. However, it should be remembered that the responsibilities of godparents are very serious. Baptism is a church sacrament in which Divine grace itself acts. Therefore, you were not just “registered” as a godparent, perhaps without your knowledge, but you were given responsibility for the correct Christian upbringing of your godson. Having several godchildren is quite difficult. But, if you feel love for these children, the Lord will give you mental strength and the opportunity to become a worthy godfather for them.

Newspaper “Orthodox Faith” No. 7 (459), 2012

", published by the Sretensky Monastery Publishing House, provides in an accessible form the initial knowledge necessary for those who are preparing for the Sacrament of Baptism or are just beginning to live an Orthodox life. The book presents the main provisions of our faith, talks about the Sacraments, the commandments of God and prayer.

When I have to baptize an adult, most often I perform the sacrament of Baptism without godparents. Because godparents, or godparents, are necessarily needed only for children. When an adult is baptized, he himself can say that he believes in the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior and wants to accept Holy Baptism to save your soul. He himself can answer the priest’s questions and promise fidelity to Christ. Of course, it is good when next to the adult person being baptized there is an Orthodox church person who can become his successor and help him take his first steps in church and teach him the basics of faith. But I repeat, for an adult it is not necessary to have godparents.

Why are receivers needed at all? Godparents are those people who, due to the minority of their godchildren, make vows of Holy Baptism for them, a promise of fidelity to God. For their spiritual children, they renounce Satan, unite with Christ and confess their faith, reading the Creed for them. We baptize most people in infancy, that is, at an age when the child does not yet have conscious faith and cannot answer how he believes. His godparents do this for him. We baptize children according to the faith of their recipients and according to the faith of their parents as the closest people. Therefore, both bear a huge responsibility. Godparents are not just family friends, they are not some kind of “wedding generals” standing at the sacrament with an “Honorary Witness” ribbon, as happens at weddings. No, godparents are very responsible persons; they become guarantors before God for the souls of their godchildren. At the moment of baptism, together with their parents, in front of the Cross and the Gospel lying on a lectern, they make a promise to God Himself. What promise? That they will make every effort so that the newly baptized baby grows up as a believer, Orthodox person. Their duty now is to pray for their spiritual children, teach them prayers, instruct them in the Orthodox faith and take them to church to receive communion, and then, after seven years, to confess. So that when their godson reaches adulthood, he already knows how to pray to God, knows what we believe in and why we go to church. Of course, the greatest responsibility for the Christian upbringing of children lies with the parents, but godparents can also greatly influence their godchildren and become their spiritual teachers and mentors.

Many parents approach the Baptism of their children quite formally and choose godparents in the same formal manner.

Now a little about the sad things. Most modern godparents are very poorly prepared. Unfortunately, many parents approach the sacrament of Baptism of their children completely formally and choose godparents in the same formal manner. After all, a godfather should not just be a good man, communication with whom we enjoy, our friend or relative - he must be an Orthodox person, churchgoer and knowledgeable of his faith. How can we teach someone the basics of faith if we ourselves don’t even know the basics, haven’t read the Gospel, don’t know prayers? Indeed, in any field, if a person knows something well, for example, knows how to drive a car, work on a computer, solve mathematical problems, do repairs, he can teach this to others, pass on his knowledge. And if he himself knows nothing in this area, who can he teach?

If you are godparents and feel a lack of knowledge in the spiritual field (and none of us can say that he has fully studied Orthodox faith, for this is an inexhaustible reservoir of spiritual wisdom), it is necessary to fill this gap. You need to educate yourself. Believe me, there is nothing complicated about this, especially now, when no one forbids us to read any spiritual literature and when books, brochures, and CDs telling about the Orthodox faith are sold in all churches and bookstores. The Lord reveals himself to everyone who turns to Him, at any age. My grandfather received Baptism at the age of 70 and then mastered the basics of the Orthodox faith so well that he could even teach and mentor others.

You need to start spiritual education with the very beginning, basic books, such as “The Law of God”, “First Steps in Orthodox church"and others. You definitely need to read the Gospel; you can start with the “Gospel of Mark”, it is the shortest, only 16 chapters, and was written specifically for new pagan Christians.

The godfather must live according to the commandments of God, pray to God and receive communion

The recipient is obliged to know the Creed and read it at baptism, in this prayer book in short form Orthodox doctrine is set forth, and the godfather must know what he believes. And of course, the godfather must live according to God’s commandments, pray to God and receive communion. According to church canons, a child is entitled to one godfather, of the same gender as the person being baptized, but our Russian tradition presupposes two godparents - a man and a woman. They must not be married to each other. Godparents then cannot marry or marry their godchildren. The child's father and mother cannot be his godparents, but other relatives: grandparents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters may well become godparents. Recipients, preparing for the sacrament of Baptism, must confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ.

Christ's.

After the baby is immersed in the baptismal font, the godfather receives him from the hands of the priest. Hence the Slavic name - receiver. Thus, he takes upon himself the responsibility for life to raise the child in the Orthodox spirit, and the answer for this upbringing will be given at the Last Judgment.

During the Baptism of infants, the recipients recite (confess) the Creed in their place, pronounce vows and take care of teaching faith and morality to those received by them (;,).

The custom of having a recipient at Baptism dates back to the most ancient Apostolic Tradition.

The presence of two receivers is a Russian tradition. According to the rules of the Church, one godfather is enough: a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. In practice, gender mismatch is tolerated.

In the Sacrament of Baptism, the godparents promise God to bring the baby to Him. It's important to remember this.

Who can be godfather

– The godfather (father) must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be from the Church (who does not regularly receive communion), a representative of another religion, or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know and read it at Baptism, but also to spiritually educate the godson in the future, daily prayer for him.

– The godfather must be a churchgoer, ready to regularly take his godson to church and raise him in the Christian faith.

– After the Sacrament of Baptism has been performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he has gone missing or fallen from the faith.

– Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents to both boys and girls.

– The father and mother of a child cannot be godparents, and a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child; other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

– A person should only have one godparent. According to , only one recipient is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. The presence of a second godfather is an unwritten, albeit ancient, custom of the Church.

– Monks and nuns are not allowed to be ordained.

– The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the presence of recipients in person during its celebration. As a last resort, infant baptism is allowed even without godparents, then the priest himself is considered godfather.

– Marriages between the baptized person and the recipient are prohibited: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter ().

It is reckless to invite a non-church person to be godparents: what can someone who does not know the subject teach? It's like choosing a guide in dangerous journey, where the price of the issue is the life (in our case, Eternal), of a rogue who does not know the route.
It is also unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a child in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but also do not intend to become a church member, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.
If you are invited to be a foster parent by parents who are not only not against baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to make your parents vow to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for their children, come to church with them, try to give them communion weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechesis classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or whether they view Baptism as a magical rite.

According to the ancient church rule, during the Baptism of infants, only one recipient was considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person (Great Trebnik, Chapter 5, “see”). The rule about “being one recipient at Baptism” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom of having two godparents at Baptism has become widespread: the godfather and the godmother.

Only Orthodox successors or successors have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are remembered in prayers and included in certificates of Baptism. Receiver " represents the face of the person being baptized and makes vows to God for him, makes, confesses the symbol and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither an ignoramus in the faith nor a non-believer can do"(Book on the positions of parish elders, 80).
According to the practice of the ancient Church, just as non-Christians are never allowed to adopt children, it is also indecent for an Orthodox Christian to be the foster child of non-Christian parents, except in those cases when the children are baptized into the Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church also do not provide for such a case as participation in baptism as a recipient of a person.

Insane people, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners, and those who came to church drunk, cannot be recipients. For example, those who, due to negligence, have not attended confession and Holy Communion for a long time cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be recipients, since they are still incapable of teaching and are not firm in their understanding of the faith and power of the Sacrament (except in those cases when it is completely impossible to have an adult recipient).

Ancient Russia did not know such a rule that would eliminate monks from succession. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand ducal and royal children were for the most part monks. Only later were monks prohibited from succession because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik). Parents cannot be recipients of their own children from the baptismal font. A woman in normal cleansing, it’s inconvenient to be a recipient. In such cases, you can postpone Baptism or invite another recipient.

Church rules do not prohibit siblings, father and daughter, or mother and son from being the adoptive parents of the same baby. Currently, priests do not allow husband and wife to share the same child. To prevent violations existing rules Regarding the successors, the priest usually finds out in advance from the parents who they want to have as the successors for their children.

Prayers for godchildren

Prayer for children and godchildren, father

Sweetest Jesus! God of my heart! You gave me children according to the flesh, they are Yours according to your soul. You redeemed both my soul and theirs with Your priceless Blood. For the sake of Your Divine Blood, I beg You, my sweetest Savior, with Your grace touch the hearts of my children (names) and my godchildren (names), protect them with Your Divine fear, keep them from bad inclinations and habits, direct them to the bright path of life, truth and of good. Decorate their lives with everything good and saving, arrange their fate as You yourself want and save their souls with their own destinies! Lord, God of our fathers! Give to my children (names) and godchildren (names) a right heart to keep Your commandments, Your revelations and Your statutes. And do it all! Amen.

On raising children as good Christians: Parents' prayer to the Lord God

God, our merciful and heavenly Father!
Have mercy on our children (names) and godchildren (names), for whom we humbly pray to You and whom we entrust to Your care and protection.
Put strong faith in them, teach them to revere You and deign them to deeply love You, our Creator and Savior.
Guide them, God, on the path of truth and goodness, so that they do everything for the glory of Your name.
Teach them to live piously and virtuously, to be good Christians and useful people.
Give them mental and physical health and success in their work.
Deliver them from the cunning machinations of the devil, from numerous temptations, from evil passions and from all wicked and disorderly people.
For the sake of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through the prayers of His Most Pure Mother and all the saints, lead them to the quiet haven of Your eternal Kingdom, so that they, along with all the righteous, will always thank You with Your only begotten Son and Your life-giving Spirit.
Amen.

Prayer to the Lord God, composed by the venerable

Lord, You are the only One who weighs everything, who is able to do everything, and who wants to save everyone and come to the mind of Truth. Enlighten my children (names) with the knowledge of Thy truth and Thy Holy will, strengthen them to walk according to Thy commandments and have mercy on me, a sinner.
Amen.
Merciful Lord, Jesus Christ, I entrust to You my children whom You have given to me, fulfill my prayer.
I ask You, Lord, save them in the ways that You Yourself know. Save them from vices, evil, pride, and let nothing that is contrary to You touch their souls. But grant them faith, love and hope for salvation, and may their life path be holy and blameless before God.
Bless them, Lord, may they strive every minute of their lives to fulfill Your Holy will, so that You, Lord, may always abide with them by Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, teach them to pray to You, so that prayer may be their support, joy in sorrow and consolation of their life, and so that we, their parents, may be saved by their prayer.
May Your angels always protect them.
May my children be sensitive to the grief of their neighbors, and may they fulfill Your commandment of love. And if they sin, then grant them, Lord, to bring repentance to You, and You, in Your ineffable mercy, forgive them.
When their earthly life ends, then take them to Your Heavenly Abodes, where let them lead with them other Your chosen servants.
Through the prayers of Your Most Pure Mother, Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary and Your saints (all holy families are listed), Lord, have mercy on us, as You are glorified with Your Beginningless Son and with Your Most Holy and Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages.
Amen.

Does it really teach that marriage between godparents is inadmissible according to Article 211 of the Nomocanon?

Obstacles to marriage and adoption at baptism. Grigorovsky S.P. Publishing Council of the Russian Orthodox Church. 2007. With the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II. pp. 49-51. Quote from there:

« Currently, Article 211 of the Nomocanon [which states the inadmissibility of marriage between adoptive children] has no practical significance and should be considered cancelled... Since during baptism it is enough to have one recipient or one recipient, depending on the gender of the person being baptized, there is no reason to consider the recipients to be in any spiritual relationship and therefore prohibit them from marrying each other».

Prof. Pavlov, in his course on Church law, comments on the problem of spiritual kinship between the recipient and the recipient of one child and the marriage between them:

“...several rules of apocryphal origin and strange content (for example, rule 211, prohibiting a husband and wife from being the adoptive parents of the same baby, on pain of being separated from their marital cohabitation). Already in the first years of its existence, the Holy Synod began to regard such rules with great doubt and often made decisions directly contrary to them, especially in matters of marriage.”

In December 2017, the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church adopted a document stating: “ Marriages between recipients can be performed with the blessing of the diocesan bishop (taking into account the decree of the Holy Synod of December 31, 1837)".

Can pregnant and unmarried women become godparents?

Pregnant and unmarried women Both boys and girls can be godparents; there are no canonical prohibitions against this. All prohibitions apply exclusively to dense folk superstitions and have no power for Christians.

At what age do you not need a godfather?

Persons over 14 years of age.

How to baptize a child if one or more family members are against it?

– You should try to bring such people to a meeting with the priest. The main thing here is to understand what is inside a person, why he refuses to baptize his child. If people are atheists, it can be difficult to convince them to give up their views. But it is still possible to convince of the need for a calm and loyal attitude towards the fact of a child’s baptism.