The godparents are the parents of the child. Godparents and godchildren: informal relationships

You were invited to be godparents. This is a great honor and a great responsibility. What are the duties of the godfather and godmother, what should be done during and after baptism?

Baptism of an infant. Photo from the site https://dveri.bg/uap64

The main duties of godparents

During the sacrament of baptism, the godparents are obliged to vouch for the faith of the baby and further educate him in the Orthodox faith. The child himself still does not know anything and cannot profess the faith, therefore, godparents make baptismal vows for him. If your faith is not strong enough, you should seriously think before you agree to take on the duties of a godfather. After all, in the future you will have to answer to God not only for yourself, but also for your godson.

God-parents All their lives they pray for their godson. While the child is small, they teach him the Orthodox faith, try to make him visit the temple more often, take communion, explain the meaning of worship, talk about the saints, about icons, about Orthodox holidays. When a child becomes a teenager, it is the godparents who should take special care of him. morale. This explains the choice of godparents - the boy will certainly need Godfather, and the girl godmother, the presence of a second godfather is not mandatory. With the godfather of the same sex, it is easier for a teenager to discuss some personal issues, problems about which he, perhaps, does not dare to talk with his parents.

What should godparents do before the sacrament of baptism

Future godparents, together with the parents of the baby, agree on the place and time of baptism. Before the sacrament, you will need to go through a categorical conversation, or “interview” in the temple where baptism will be performed. There may be several such conversations. They lay out the basics Orthodox faith that every Christian needs to know.

Who exactly will buy the baptismal set, pectoral cross and the icon - has no fundamental difference. If the godparents want to make a gift to the godson, they can take part of the costs themselves.

Some wealthy people order a measured icon - this is an icon painted to order, on a board, corresponding to the growth of the baby at birth. It depicts a saint whose name is given to the child.

More often they buy an icon in a church shop: for a boy - the Savior, for a girl - Mother of God. You can choose any icon, based on your desires, tastes and means. But it should be borne in mind that this icon will be with the godson all his life. In the old days, it was customary to bless a grown child for marriage with this icon. Entering into family life, the bride and groom each brought their own icon with them, and they formed the so-called “wedding couple” of icons. Based on this, it is better to buy not the smallest icon (on which you can barely see the image), but several larger size(usually choose approximately the size of the book) and in the salary. But, I repeat, there are no strict rules here, and if you are very constrained in means, an expensive icon is not at all an end in itself.

When choosing a cross for a child, you should not buy the tiniest one. It seems very suitable for such a baby, but the baby will grow up, and the tiny cross, especially on a man, will look completely different. It is better to buy a medium-sized cross.

A baptismal set, as a rule, can be bought at a church shop at the temple. It includes a diaper with an embroidered cross, a shirt and a scarf for a girl.

The sacrament of baptism. Photo from the website of photographer Nadezhda Smirnova http://www.fotosmirnova.com/kreschenie

Responsibilities of godparents at baptism

Godparents should know by heart Symbol of faith which contains all the main truths of Orthodoxy. It will need to be read during the sacrament of baptism:

I believe in one God the Father, Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, visible to all and invisible. And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Only Begotten, who was born of the Father before all ages; Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, uncreated, consubstantial with the Father, Whom all was. For us for the sake of man and for our sake of salvation, who descended from heaven and became incarnate from the Holy Spirit and Mary the Virgin, and became human. Crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered, and was buried. And resurrected on the third day according to the Scriptures. And ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of the Father. And the packs of the future with glory to judge the living and the dead, His Kingdom will have no end. And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Life-Giving One, Who proceeds from the Father, Who with the Father and the Son is worshiped and glorified, who spoke the prophets. Into one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. I confess one baptism for the remission of sins. I look forward to the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the age to come. Amen.

During the sacrament, the godparents hold the baby in their arms (if the child worries and cries, it is allowed to hold him to his own mother, there is no violation in this). The most important moment is when the godfather takes the godson from the font from the hands of the priest. Therefore godparents are otherwise called godparents. The godfather should take the boy from the font, the godmother should take the girl.

If parents have children in previous or subsequent marriages, they are considered half-siblings. The mother's husband, but not the father of her child, is the stepfather. The father's wife, but the child's mother is not a stepmother. A non-native son of a husband or wife at the next marriage of his parent (parent) is a stepson, and step daughter- stepdaughter.

In Russian folklore, the stepmother is spoken of unflatteringly: people did not believe that a woman could love someone else's child as her own. It is no coincidence that the plant was also called: coltsfoot. Its leaves are smooth and cold on top, and warm and fluffy from the inside. And they say: "The other side is the stepmother."

When adopted or adopted, the child was called an adopted child. The new parents - the named mother and the named father - considered the girl to be the named daughter, and the boy - the named son.

The planted mother and father became close, but not relatives - people who were invited to the wedding to replace mother and the father of the bride and groom.

And after a newborn appeared in the family, he might need a mother, a nurse, a dairy mother. To feed - it meant almost intermarry with the baby. An uncle was assigned to older children - for care and supervision. Such an uncle brought up the cavalry girl Shurochka Azarova in the film "The Hussar Ballad".

Men could fraternize by exchanging pectoral crosses and kissing three times. They became crusaders. Fraternization was the result great friendship or saving lives in combat. Girlish friendship, not related by kinship, was also consolidated by a kind of ritual: the girls exchanged pectoral crosses. Then they called their friends like that - crusades, twins, named sisters.

Religious ties were strong and unostentatious in families. As it should be according to the rite, each little godson or goddaughter had a godfather and godmother. The godfather's father became a godfather, the son became a godbrother, and both godparents in relation to the godson's parents became godfathers: he is a godfather, she is a godfather. The godfather and godfather took upon themselves the responsibility of taking care of the religious education of their godson and, in the event of the death of their parents, took their place. Being the godfather of the first or second child in the family used to be considered a great honor.

They chose godfather and mother from close people: relatives or family friends. A pregnant woman was not called a godmother: it was believed that the godson would die. If newborns or young children had died in families before, the first person they met was taken as godfather. Preference was given to godparents who had many godchildren alive.

An unmarried man, who was to become a godfather for the first time, chose a girl for baptism, an unmarried girl - a boy. It was believed that otherwise the girl risks remaining a century-old woman, and the guy - a bachelor. There was a belief among the peasants that if a girl or a guy who was invited to be godparents to the first child is older than the godson's parents, then the girl will marry a widower, and the guy will marry a widow or woman older than him. Therefore, accordingly, they tried to make godfathers younger than their parents.

On Peter's Day (July 12), the godfather baked unleavened pies with cottage cheese for the godchildren. On the day of forgiveness (the last day before Great Lent), according to custom, the godfather went to the godfather with soap, and she went to him with gingerbread. According to the canons of Orthodoxy, godparents could not marry each other.

GRANDMA, grandmother - the mother of the father or mother, the wife of the grandfather.

BROTHER is a son in relation to other children of the same parents.

BROTHER GOPHAD - The godfather's son.

Brother CROSS, brother on the cross, brother named - persons who exchanged body crosses.

BROTAN, bro, bro, bro, bro - cousin.

BRATANICH - brother's nephew.

BROTANIHA - the wife of a cousin.

Bratanna - brother's daughter, brother's niece.

Bratelnitsa - cousin or distant relative.

Bratova - brother's wife.

Bratych - brother's son, brother's nephew.

A widow is a woman who has not remarried after the death of her husband.

A widower is a man who has not remarried after the death of his wife.

A great aunt is the sister of a grandfather or grandmother (cousin).

A great uncle is the brother of a grandfather or grandmother.

A branch is a line of kinship.

A grandson is the son of a son or daughter, the sons of a nephew or niece.

Great cousin-niece is the granddaughter of a cousin or sister.

Great-niece - the granddaughter of a brother or sister (second cousin).

Grandchild, grandchild - being a relative in the third generation, second cousin.

Great siblings are second cousins.

Great cousin-nephew - the grandson of a cousin - th brother or sister.

A great-nephew is the grandson of a brother or sister.

A great second cousin is the grandson of a second cousin or sister (second cousin).

Granddaughter, grandson - daughter of a son or daughter, nephew or niece.

A cousin is the sister of a grandmother or grandfather.

A great-aunt is the sister of a great-grandmother or great-grandfather.

A great-great-grandmother is the sister of a great-great-grandmother or great-great-grandfather.

A cousin is the daughter of a cousin or sister.

A cousin is the daughter of an uncle or aunt.

Cousin aunt - cousin father or mother.

Cousin - related in the second generation.

A cousin is the son of an uncle or aunt.

A cousin is the brother of a grandfather or grandmother.

A cousin is a cousin of one's father or mother.

A cousin is the son of a cousin or sister.

A great-grandfather is the brother of a great-grandfather or great-grandmother.

A great-great-grandfather is the brother of a great-great-grandfather or great-great-grandmother.

Brother-in-law is the husband's brother.

Grandfather (grandfather) - the father of the father or mother.

The godfather is the godfather's father.

Grandfather, grandfather - aunt after uncle.

Dedich is the direct heir of his grandfather.

A daughter is a female person in relation to her parents.

Daughter named - adopted, pupil.

Dshcherich is the nephew of his aunt.

Dschersha - niece by aunt.

An uncle is a person who takes care of a child.

An uncle is the brother of the father or mother, as well as the husband of an aunt.

Congenital children (homogeneous) - children born from the same father (homogeneous father), but different mothers).

Single uterine children (one uterine) - children born to the same mother, but from different fathers.

Single uterine - born by the same mother, but from a different father.

A wife is a woman in relation to the man she is married to.

Zhenima, wife - unmarried fourth wife.

Bridegroom - conspiring his bride.

Sister-in-law, goldsmith, zolova - the husband's sister, sometimes the brother's wife.

Son-in-law is the husband of a daughter, sister.

A knee is a branching of a clan, a generation in a pedigree.

The godmother is a participant in the rite of baptism in the role of a spiritual mother.

The godson is the godson.

Goddaughter - goddaughter.

The godfather is a participant in the rite of baptism in the role of a spiritual father.

Consanguinity - descent from the same parents.

Blood - about kinship within the same family.

A cousin is a cousin.

Cousin is a cousin.

Kum is a godfather in relation to the parents of the godson and to the godmother.

Kuma is a godmother in relation to the parents of the godson and to the godfather.

A small aunt is the sister of the father or mother (cousin).

Small uncle is the brother of the father or mother.

A mother is a woman in relation to her children.

Godmother, cross - the recipient at the rite of baptism.

Christ.

After the baby is immersed in the baptismal font, the godfather takes him from the hands of the priest. Hence the Slavic name - recipient. Thus, for the rest of his life, he takes upon himself the obligation to educate the child in the Orthodox spirit, and the answer for this upbringing will be given at the Last Judgment.

At the Baptism of infants, the recipients pronounce (profess) instead of them the Symbol of Faith, pronounce vows and have care for teaching the faith and morality of those they have accepted ( ; , ).

The custom of having a sponsor at Baptism goes back to ancient Apostolic Tradition.

The presence of two recipients is a Russian tradition. According to the rules of the Church, one godfather is enough: a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. In practice, gender mismatch is allowed.

In the Sacrament of Baptism, the godparents promise God to bring the baby to Him. It's important to remember this.

Who can be godfather

- The godfather (grandparent) must be Orthodox Christian. The godfather cannot be from the Church (who does not regularly take communion), a representative of another religion or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know and read it at Baptism, but also the spiritual upbringing of the godson in the future, daily prayer for him.

- The godfather must be a churched person, ready to regularly take the godson to the temple and educate him in the Christian faith.

- After the Sacrament of Baptism is performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he is missing or has fallen away from the faith.

- Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents to both boys and girls.

- The father and mother of the child cannot be godparents, and also the husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child, other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

A person should only have one godparent. According to, only one godparent is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. The presence of a second godfather is an unwritten, albeit ancient, custom of the Church.

– Monks and nuns are not allowed to receive reception.

- The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the full-time presence of the recipients during its commission. In extreme cases, Baptism of infants is allowed even without godparents, then the priest himself is considered a godfather.

- Marriages between the baptized and the recipient are forbidden: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter ().

It is reckless to invite a non-church person as a godfather: what can one teach who does not know the subject himself? It's like picking a conductor in dangerous journey, where the price of the issue is life (in our case, Eternal), a rogue who does not know the route.
It is just as unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a baby in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but are not going to become churched, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.
If you are invited to be a godparent by parents who are not only not opposed to baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to take a vow from your parents to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for your children, come with them to the temple, try to take communion with them weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechism classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or consider Baptism as a magical rite.

According to an ancient church rule, during the Baptism of infants, only one godfather was considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person (Great Book of Books, ch. 5, “see”). The rule about “being at Baptism to one godfather” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom has become widespread at Baptism to be two godparents: the godfather and the godmother.

Only Orthodox godparents or godparents have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are commemorated in prayers and are included in the baptismal certificates. Receiver " represents the face of the person being baptized and for him vows to God, creates, the Symbol confesses and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither the ignorant in faith nor the infidel can do» (Book on the offices of parish presbyters, 80).
According to practice ancient church Just as non-Christians are never allowed to receive children, so it is indecent for an Orthodox person to be the recipient of children from parents of other faiths, except in cases where children are baptized into the Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church do not provide for such a case as participation in baptism as a recipient of a person.

The insane, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners and those who came to the temple in a state of intoxication cannot be godparents. For example, those who, due to negligence, have not been at confession and Holy Communion for a long time, cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be godparents, since they are still incapable of teaching and unsteady in understanding the faith and the power of the Sacrament (except in cases where it is absolutely impossible to have an adult godparent).

Ancient Russian did not know such a rule that would eliminate the monks from receiving. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand-ducal and royal children were for the most part monks. It was only later that the monks were forbidden to accept the reception because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Big Trebnik). Parents cannot be godparents from the Baptismal font of their own children. The woman in regular cleansing, it is inconvenient to be the recipient. In such cases, Baptism can be postponed or another hostess can be invited.

Church rules do not forbid a brother and sister, as well as a father with a daughter or a mother with a son, to be godparents of the same baby. At present, priests do not allow a husband and wife to receive the same baby together. To prevent violations existing rules As regards sponsors, the priest usually finds out from the parents in advance who they want to have sponsors for their children.

Prayers for godchildren

Prayer for children and for godchildren, father

Sweetest Jesus! God of my heart! You gave me children according to the flesh, they are Yours according to your soul. You have redeemed both my soul and theirs with Your priceless Blood. For the sake of Your Divine Blood, I beg You, my sweetest Savior, by Your grace touch the hearts of my children (names) and my godchildren (names), protect them with Your Divine fear, keep them from bad inclinations and habits, direct them to the bright path of life, truth and of good. Decorate their lives with everything good and saving, arrange their fate as you yourself want and save their souls with their own destinies! Lord God of our fathers! Give my children (names) and godchildren (names) a right heart to keep Your commandments, Your revelations and Your statutes. And do it all! Amen.

On the upbringing of children by good Christians: Prayer of parents to the Lord God

God, our merciful and heavenly Father!
Have mercy on our children (names) and godchildren (names), for whom we humbly pray to You and whom we commit to Your care and protection.
Give them strong faith, teach them to revere You, and make them worthy to love You, our Creator and Savior.
Guide them, O God, on the path of truth and goodness, so that they do everything for the glory of Your name.
Teach them to live piously and virtuously, to be good Christians and useful people.
Give them health of mind and body and success in their labors.
Deliver them from the cunning machinations of the devil, from numerous temptations, from bad passions and from all kinds of wicked and disorderly people.
For the sake of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through the prayers of His Most Pure Mother and all the saints, bring them to the quiet haven of Your eternal Kingdom, so that they, with all the righteous, always thank You with Your only begotten Son and Your life-giving Spirit.
Amen.

Prayer to the Lord God, compiled by the reverend

Lord, You are One in all weight, You can do everything and want to be saved by everyone and come to the understanding of Truth. Enlighten my children (names) with the knowledge of Thy truth and Thy Holy will, strengthen them to walk according to Thy commandments and have mercy on me a sinner.
Amen.
Merciful Lord, Jesus Christ, I entrust to You my children whom You have given me, fulfill my prayer.
I ask You, Lord, save them in ways that You Yourself know. Save them from vices, evil, pride, and let nothing that is contrary to You touch their souls. But grant them faith, love and hope for salvation, and may their life path be holy and blameless before God.
Bless them, Lord, that they strive every minute of their lives to fulfill Your Holy will, so that You, Lord, could always be with them by Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, teach them to pray to You, so that prayer would be their support, joy in sorrows and consolation of their lives, and so that we, their parents, would be saved by their prayer.
May your angels always keep them.
May my children be sensitive to the grief of their neighbors, and may they fulfill Your commandment of love. And if they sin, then vouchsafe them, Lord, to bring repentance to You, and You, in Your inexpressible mercy, forgive them.
When their earthly life ends, then take them to Your Heavenly Abodes, where let them bring with them other servants of Your chosen ones.
Through the prayers of Your Most Pure Mother the Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary and Your saints (all holy families are listed), Lord, have mercy on us, for you have been glorified with Your Beginningless Son and with Your Most Holy and Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and forever and ever.
Amen.

Does it really teach about the inadmissibility of marriage between godparents according to the 211th article of the Nomocanon?

Obstacles to marriage and reception at baptism. Grigorovsky S.P. Publishing Council of the Russian Orthodox Church. 2007. With the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II. pp. 49-51. Quote from there:

« At present, Article 211 of the Nomocanon [where it is pointed out that marriage between successors is inadmissible] has no practical value and should be considered canceled ... Since at baptism it is enough to have one godparent or one godfather, depending on the gender of the person being baptized, there is no reason to consider the godparents to be in any spiritual relationship and therefore forbid them to marry among themselves».

Prof. Pavlov, in his course on Church Law, comments on the problem of the spiritual relationship between the beneficiary and the beneficiary of one child and the marriage between them:

“... several rules of apocryphal origin and strange content (for example, rule 211, which forbids a husband and wife to be godparents of the same baby, under pain of being separated from marital cohabitation). The Holy Synod, already in the first years of its existence, began to treat such rules with great doubt and often made decisions that were directly opposite to them, especially in matters of marriage.

In December 2017 at the Bishops' Council of the Russian Orthodox Church A document was adopted stating: Marriages between godparents can be performed with the blessing of the diocesan bishop (subject to the decree of the Holy Synod of December 31, 1837)".

Can pregnant and unmarried women become godparents?

pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents for both boys and girls, there are no canonical prohibitions on this. All prohibitions apply exclusively to dense popular superstitions and have no power for Christians.

At what age is a godfather not needed?

Persons over 14 years of age.

How to baptize a child if one or more family members are against it?

“You should try to bring such people to a meeting with the priest. The main thing here is to understand what is inside a person, why he refuses to baptize his child. If people are atheists, it can be difficult to convince them and make them give up their views. But it is still possible to convince of the need for a calm and loyal attitude to the fact of the baptism of a child.

”, published by the publishing house of the Sretensky Monastery, provides in an accessible form the initial knowledge necessary for those who are preparing for the Sacrament of Baptism or are just starting to live an Orthodox life. The book presents the main provisions of our faith, tells about the Sacraments, the commandments of God and about prayer.

When I have to baptize an adult, most often I perform the sacrament of Baptism without godparents. Because godparents, or godparents, are necessarily needed only for children. When an adult is baptized, he himself can say that he believes in the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior and wants to accept Holy Baptism to save your soul. He himself can answer the questions of the priest and promise fidelity to Christ. Of course, it is good when there is an Orthodox church person next to an adult who is being baptized, who can become his godparent and help him take his first steps in the church, who will teach him the basics of faith. But I repeat, for an adult, the presence of godparents is not necessary.

Why are receivers needed at all? Godparents are those people who, at the young age of their godchildren, give them the vows of Holy Baptism, a promise of fidelity to God. They renounce Satan for their spiritual children, unite with Christ and confess their faith, reading the Creed for them. We baptize most people in infancy, that is, at the age when the child does not yet have a conscious faith, cannot answer how he believes. His godparents do it for him. We baptize children according to the faith of the recipients and according to the faith of the parents as the closest people. Therefore, both have a huge responsibility. Godparents are not just friends of the family, they are not some kind of “wedding generals” who stand at the sacrament with the “Honorary Witness” ribbon, as happens at weddings. No, godparents are very responsible persons, they become guarantors before God for the souls of their godchildren. At the moment of baptism, together with their parents, in front of the Cross and the Gospel, lying on the lectern, they make a promise to God Himself. What promise? That they will make every effort to ensure that a newly baptized baby grows up a believer, an orthodox person. Their duty now is to pray for their spiritual children, teach them prayers, instruct them in the Orthodox faith and take them to the church to take communion, and then, after seven years, to confess. So that when their godson enters perfect years, he already knows how to pray to God, he knows what we believe in and why we go to church. Of course, the greatest responsibility for the Christian upbringing of children lies with the parents, but godparents can also greatly influence their godchildren, become their spiritual teachers and mentors.

Many parents formally approach the Baptism of their children and just as formally choose godparents.

Now a little about the sad. Most modern godparents are very ill-prepared. To the greatest regret, many parents approach the sacrament of Baptism of their children in a completely formal way and just as formally choose godparents. After all, the godfather should not be just a good man, with whom we are pleased to communicate, our friend or relative - he must be an Orthodox person, church-going and knowing his faith. How can we teach someone the basics of faith if we ourselves do not even know the very basics, have not read the Gospel, do not know the prayers? After all, in any field, if a person knows some business well, for example, knows how to drive a car, work on a computer, solve mathematical problems, make repairs, he can teach this to others, pass on his knowledge. And if he himself knows nothing in this area, whom can he teach?

If you are godparents and feel a lack of knowledge in the spiritual field (and none of us can say that he has fully studied the Orthodox faith, for this is an inexhaustible storehouse of spiritual wisdom), you need to fill this gap. You need to educate yourself. Believe me, there is nothing complicated about this, especially now, when no one forbids us to read any spiritual literature and when books, brochures, CDs telling about the Orthodox faith are sold in all churches and bookstores. The Lord reveals himself to everyone who turns to Him, at any age. My grandfather was baptized at the age of 70 and then he mastered the basics of the Orthodox faith so well that he could even teach and instruct others.

It is necessary to begin spiritual education from the very initial, basic books, such as The Law of God, First Steps in Orthodox church"and others. Be sure to read the Gospel; you can start with the "Gospel of Mark", it is the shortest, only 16 chapters, and was written specifically for novice Christians from pagans.

The godfather must live according to the commandments of God, pray to God and take communion

The recipient must know the Creed and read it at baptism, in this prayer book in short form the Orthodox dogma is set forth, and the godfather must know what he believes. And of course, the godfather must live according to the commandments of God, pray to God and take communion. According to church canons, a child is entitled to one godfather, of the same sex as the one being baptized, but our Russian tradition assumes two godparents - a man and a woman. They must not be married to each other. Godparents then cannot marry their godchildren or marry them. The child's father and mother cannot be godparents, but other relatives: grandparents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters may well become godparents. Receivers, preparing for the sacrament of Baptism, must confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ.

The topic “godparents and godchildren”, of course, is not comparable with the eternal theme “fathers and sons”, but still it is very relevant in our time. After all, the traditions of reception were interrupted. And it often happens that people who are far from the Church, who nevertheless want to baptize a child, choose a godfather for him for purely worldly reasons. Yes, and in the families of churched people, it happens that stumbling blocks arise in relations between godparents and godchildren. About some similar problems we want to talk.

Background
The role of godparents among early Christians cannot be understood without knowing the conditions in which they lived.
The communities of the first Christians gathered at home. Sometimes the houses were even specially rebuilt - the internal partitions were demolished, a baptismal was arranged. In the photo - such a rebuilt house of the III century. Baptistery in the Assembly House. Dura-Europos (Syria).

According to imperial edicts, Christianity was outlawed as a harmful sect. The introduction of anyone into a creed that denied the divinity of the reigning Augustus and forbade making obligatory sacrifices to the gods and images of the emperor was considered as state crime and was prosecuted under the law of insulting the majesty of the emperor.
For the Roman Christians, it was important that the newly baptized be trained and brought up in such a way that would help them become true members of the Church. The situation was particularly complicated by the fact that, unlike in later times, the bulk of those baptized were not infants, but adults who came to baptism consciously. This compelled Christians to keep for them a long period of pronouncement to assimilate the essence of the dogma and to help them, keeping them from doubts and deviations.
In the homes of wealthy Romans, domestic slaves lived - servants, educators, nurses for children. In fact, they were the younger members of the family, involved in all its affairs. Christianity gradually spread among them, and it was natural for a person attached to children to try to save a child for future life. This provided a basis for the secret teaching of children in the basics of the Christian faith and their baptism by people who are not related to them by blood. These people became their godparents.
At the baptism of an adult, the beneficiary was a witness and guarantor for the seriousness of the intention and for the right faith of the person being baptized. At the baptism of infants and the sick, deprived of the gift of speech, the godparents made vows and pronounced the Creed. The 54th canon of the Council of Carthage stipulated: “Those who are sick, who cannot answer for themselves, will be baptized when, at their will, others will utter a testimony about them, under their own responsibility.”
In the development of the 83rd and 72nd canons of the Carthaginian Council, the Trullian Council in the 84th canon established that the children found, about whose baptism there is no reliable information, should also be baptized. In this case, the recipients actually became the mentors of the children.
Initially, only one godparent participated in the baptism: at the baptism of a woman - a woman, men - a man. Subsequently, the analogy with physical birth was extended to baptism: both the godfather and the godmother began to participate in it.
Church rules (and, in full agreement with them, the civil laws of the Empire that adopted Christianity) did not allow the physical parents of the person being baptized (people already close to him), minors (people who are not capable of spiritual guidance due to their age) and monks (people renounced from the world).
In Russia in the 18th-19th centuries, in the villages, children were baptized in infancy a few days later, less often weeks after birth. The latter was connected not with any special customs, but, for example, with the remoteness of the village from the temple.
As a rule (exceptions were extremely rare), sponsors participated in the baptism of children. They tried to choose among well-known people, more often relatives.
Among Slavic peoples, including among Russians, the custom of having both a godfather and a godmother spread very quickly. They had to be of age, able to responsibly treat their duties. In 1836, the Synod set a lower age limit for godparents - 14 years. When performing the sacrament itself, the duties of the godfather included paying all material expenses for its conduct and the subsequent celebration, as well as taking care of the cross for the baby. The godmother was required to present the baby with rizki - the fabric in which he was wrapped, taking out of the font, a blanket and a baptismal shirt.
Often they tried to find godparents among blood relatives who, in the event of the death of parents, could take responsibility for raising children. This practice was not condemned: it was believed that family relations only get stronger.

Yaroslav ZVEREV

Wedding general or fairy godmother?

A godfather, or, in other words, a godfather, is a person who assumes obligations for the church upbringing of a child. He makes vows to Christ for the godson, renounces Satan, reads the Creed during the Sacrament of Baptism. After the baby is immersed in the font three times, the priest hands him over to the godfather, who receives him from the font - hence the "grandparent".
But then the Sacrament of Baptism took place, it was celebrated, life flowed on, and after a while the parents of the baptized baby have complaints: “the godfather (a) forgets us” - he communicates little with the child, rarely calls, to the point that he disappears from life altogether godson. It’s not even frustrating that the godfather rarely appears (this, of course, is unpleasant, but you can understand, given how busy everyone is today). It's a shame the formal attitude towards the recipient. For example, one girl said that she was invited as a godfather by an authoritative church person, but throughout her life he never tried to establish contact with her. Once, long ago, as a child, he gave her a bouquet of flowers - this is her only memory of him. Of course, the godfather prayed for her - this is the duty of a godparent under any circumstances - but this was clearly not enough for the child.
Speaking about the duties of the godfather, it is difficult to enumerate: they say, he must perform this and that. Everything - except prayer - depends on the situation. Often godparents see their help only in the "transportation" of the child to the temple and back. But if the parents of the godson need help, but the godfather has free time, then go for a walk with a child or sit at home with him - a duty of love. Many "prudent" (in good sense of this word), parents, thinking about who to ask to become a godfather, choose exactly such godparents on whom they can rely.
In addition, godparents need to remember how important it is for any children - from church and non-church families - a sense of celebration, friendly communication. For example, one young woman recalled that as a child, her godmother always took her after communion to the Shokoladnitsa cafe or the Yakor fish restaurant. A visit to the temple turned into friendly communication for festive table, from everything together, the impression remained in the memory fairy tale. Of course, the conversation didn't stop there. Godmother and drove her to the monasteries, and read good books, for example, Nikiforova-Volgina (moreover, she herself read aloud, and did not give the “correct” book for show), and made memorable gifts. You could always call your godmother before a difficult exam with a request for prayer help - and be sure that she would pray for you.

Unchurched Family: To Persevere or Retreat?
Godparents, talking about difficulties in relations with godchildren, most often mention situations related to the fact that the parents of the godson are not churched. For example, at first they promised not to interfere with the churching of the child, they even showed interest in the Church, but soon after baptism they forgot about all the promises. In words, it seems that the possibility of communication is preserved, but in reality ... In the summer it is necessary to go to the country, in the winter - an influenza epidemic. The rest of the time, either a runny nose, or you need to visit your grandmother, or go to the market for overalls, and in general, Sunday is the only day off when you can sleep. And if you manage to get out to church with your godson at least twice a year, that's good.
In general, before agreeing to become the godfather of a child from an unchurched family, consultation with a confessor is necessary. But what to do if the child has already been baptized, and the parents, despite their promises, remain indifferent to the Church?
Godparents who are familiar with this situation advise not to take the child to a temple located far from the godson's house. It is better to go to the nearest church, having previously found out when the service begins and at what time it is more convenient to take communion with the child. If there are several temples near the house, then it is better to find out where it is less crowded, where the atmosphere is calmer and more friendly.
Should the godfather, who is not allowed to fulfill his direct duties, insist on his rights? It can be assumed that aggressive preaching is more likely to cause rejection. Does that mean you have to give up? In response to this question good story said Archpriest Theodore BORODIN, rector of the Church of the Holy Unmercenaries and Wonderworkers Cosmas and Damian on Maroseyka: “My sister and I met our future godmother, it would seem, by chance. A woman was moving into our house, and my father was asked to move her furniture. Her father saw her icons. Therefore, when later there was talk of baptizing children, the parents turned to her - to Vera Alekseevna. This unexpected meeting changed our whole subsequent life. Everyone thought that we would be baptized - and that was all, but Vera Alekseevna began to enlighten us and, apparently, she prayed very hard for us. She took us to the temple. It was very hard for me. All is mine childhood memory from the temple - it's only back pain and sandwiches that she gave us when we, tired and hungry, left the church after communion.
It happens that some godparents pray, worry about the child, but are afraid to be intrusive.
But she insisted, said: “You promised me,” she warned: “In two weeks I will take Anya and Fedya to the temple, please, let them not eat in the morning.” She asked: “Anya and Fedya, did you read prayers?” I remember that she gave us a prayer book and marked three prayers that should be read. Two weeks later she came to us: “Well, Fedya, did you read prayers?” I say yes". She took the prayer book and said: “If you had read it, the first paper cover would have been crushed like this, it doesn’t exist, so you rarely opened it. It is not good to deceive a godmother.” I felt ashamed, and since then I began to read prayers.
And we were also drawn into the circle of Christian enlightenment, which was at the godmother's house. She had several dozen godchildren. She tried to reach their hearts through evenings of reading, Christian rethinking of poetry, music, literature. Because of this, we discovered faith in a completely new way. We learned that Orthodoxy is not old women in the church, that the heritage of all Russian culture is essentially Orthodox. She managed to really church very a large number of of people. Among her godchildren are three priests, many people who live a full church life. Despite the fact that most of us were from families that were absolutely far from the Church.”
If, nevertheless, it turned out that relations with non-church parents of the godson reached an impasse and your life paths separated, and the child is still too young to communicate on his own, then you should not turn into a “wedding general”. It would be more honest to just pray heartily for this child.

Teenager
Many priests and educators warn that in adolescence, a child will almost inevitably rebel against parental authority and seek support outside the family. "Such is age feature in adolescents, they definitely need someone outside the family, an authoritative adult who could be relied upon. And the godfather can become such an authority,” says the Sunday school teacher at the church of St. Nicholas in Kuznetsy, teacher Elena Vladimirovna VOSPENNIKOVA. How to prepare yourself for this? First, the godfather from childhood must take part in the life of the child, in any matters, not only those relating to the Church. Communication with the godfather should be versatile - this is help in homework, and joint trips to the theater, and discussion of what is interesting for both you and the child. Secondly, the godfather should be an authority for the child. And this is possible only when the child sees that you are doing it sincerely, not on duty.”
But it is important not only to keep a good relationship. The main thing is to help a teenager not to lose faith. How to do it? Just by personal example. Elena Vasilievna KRYLOVA, teacher at the St. Demetrius School of Sisters of Mercy: “If a child sees that it is impossible for a godfather to stay at home on Sunday instead of going to the Liturgy, that the life of a godfather does not exist without a church, only then the words of the godfather can be heard. If a child feels through participation in the sacraments of the Church, through communion with the godfather, that there is another life, then even if he falls away in the ordeals of transitional age, he will then return to the Church. And you can attract a teenager to the temple through common deeds. Now in the youth world outside the Church, everything is limited to parties, discos, and a teenager also needs real deeds.”
There are a lot of such things in the Church: trips to orphanages, helping people, missionary campaigns, restoration of ancient churches with youth from Restavros in the most picturesque places, and much more!



Baptism in an orphanage
In the ancient Church, infants were not baptized without godparents, since a Christian upbringing could not be guaranteed in pagan families. And now it is impossible to baptize a child without an adult godparent. But what about children in orphanages and orphanages? After all, the situation here is quite special. Godparents of the baby (if they can be found) trace further fate your godson is very hard
Is this a reason to generally refuse the baptism of abandoned babies? Svetlana POKROVSKAYA, Head of the Board of Trustees of St. Alexia: “Once a month we go to the children's hospital, where newborn abandoned children with severe heart defects are treated. Children are usually unnamed. Batiushka names them and baptizes them. Subsequently, we cannot trace the fate of these children, the hospital administration does not provide such information. Many of them die before they reach three or four months. And we cannot guarantee a Christian upbringing for surviving babies. Therefore, our activity causes a contradictory attitude. It happened that I applied to the priest for baptism, but he refused to baptize without godparents, and such godparents who would bear their duties in full up to adoption. But many other priests believe that it is impossible to deprive the grace of babies just because there are no godparents. After all, a godfather can pray for a child, write his name in notes so that a particle is taken out in the altar for a sick, suffering baby, and this is very important. Therefore, we ask those who agree to be godparents to first of all pray for their children.”
The situation when an orphanage child is baptized at a conscious age is significantly different from the previous one. Here the godfather must understand that children are very attached to adults who show attention to them, and therefore it will be impossible to leave the child, once you start communicating with him. Many are afraid of such responsibility, they are afraid that the child will want to be taken into the family. Marina NEFEDOVA (she, along with other parishioners of the Church of the Annunciation in Fedosino, helps the nearest orphanage baptize children), based on his own experience, says: “Children over seven years old understand that the godfather takes them to the temple, visits, but does not become an adoptive parent. It seems to me that it would be very good if the orphanage children had godparents who would communicate with them for many years.”
It happens that godparents are asked to become too often. But there are reasonable human limits. According to many confessors, one should soberly assess one's capabilities and try to be constant in those relationships that already exist. After all, they will ask us what we did and how we took care of those we received from the font.

Veronika BUZYNKINA