Irony and sarcasm are positive in statuses. Selected evil VK statuses
As soon as relatives appeared in contact - Brothers and sisters about whom you had not previously suspected in some strange way showed up, about 50 people each. I can no longer say anything about sons and daughters. Even 13 year old girls have them. Don't you people think this is nonsense?
One day in a letter I will send you a bomb that will explode your heart and fill your brain with shrapnel
You meet people who claim to have made it to the top, when in fact they just floated up there.
The more generous a man is on the first date, the less time he needs a woman.
A smart woman, she doesn't take offense. He just immediately starts planning revenge.
I would forget you and you would be calm with her. But one idiot keeps reminding me of himself, asking why I love him and whether I want to forget him. At the most inopportune moment. (ha, why are you afraid that I will disappear and no one will wake you up to love you, you won’t wait)
Sometimes, as soon as you get to know a person better, you immediately want to send him to hell.
A true friend will always be happy for your success, but a fake one, smiling, will hate you for it with all her soul.
If a person is bitten by a vampire, he becomes a vampire. It seems to me more and more that you have been bitten by a flock of sheep.
There are days when you are a dove, and there are days when you are a monument!
Based on conversations with some people, it seems that the year of the goat has never passed.
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man always keeps himself under control. So be wise.
Show your trick, disappear into thin air!
I want to fill a sock with batteries and punch someone in the face!
I am Russian Post. I don't want to deliver anything, I want lunch and a break.
Sometimes you meet such people. When you get to know them better, you immediately want to move away.
Damn, if you have become so grown up, then be smarter and shut your mouth! I’ve already started to get used to your rudeness towards me!
Success in life depends on those who use their brains while others flapping their ears.
This is how people talk who think they predicted you one step ahead, but in fact were not even remotely close to understanding who you are and what you can do.
I told her: That’s enough, I’m filing for divorce! I leave the house, I hear a shot - I shot myself! I come back - I opened the champagne, you bastard!
Despite the fact that my dog is female, the cat turned out to be a female.
She lied so beautifully, almost like a weather forecast.
Dear my ill-wishers! I suggest you suck off the toad that is always choking you! Of course, this will not add love to me, but it will keep you occupied for a while.
You are so rude as if you had a spare jaw in your pocket.
Never swore dirty! My mat is always clean, fresh and tidy.
You have sunk below the baseboard, but I don’t pick up the dirt from the floor.
That's why. Here's a cute guy who goes to school and you like him, and then he adds it on the internet and writes about it. You think it would be better to remain silent. It turns out that the usual selfish schmuck.
I gave up fatty and unhealthy foods... And now he is deputy. CEO of Lukoil
If for every lie you told me I gave you a balloon, you would have long since flown away!
Rich inner world can be donated for organs
It seems like a call from the city authorities: do not go out into the streets in the snow and do not use personal vehicles! - only utility workers listen.
I can divide my life into two periods - everything is going on around me and I’m sleeping.
Remember. everything will be okay, and we will find the culprits.
You will open your mouth at the dentist.
What song reminds you of him? - Yes, all the work of the Leningrad group
Sighs, suffering. but no one dreams of what is not interesting to him.
Who else gets mad when guys talk about their exes, and do it with delight, while at the same time swearing at her from head to toe!
I look with a smile at those who are trying to put a spoke in my life. Fools! My wheels are bulldozer tracks
I would tell you who you are and what you are like, but I’m afraid you’ll be very offended.
A wonderful weather! You won’t burn, you won’t peel, you won’t stick to the asphalt, you won’t sweat! The only negative is that the slates do not fit on a warm sock.
And you can get a heart attack silently, sitting, without doing anything. Just when a message comes with the content: sorry, I did wrong, I still love you. and this is spam (damn.
I don't have big breasts anyway. Damn, she's not even in a swimsuit!
I take criticism calmly, but I ask you not to poke your log into my speck.
So many emotions. And all with obscenities.
The shortage of real men is not yet a reason to cling to someone you don’t know.
Don't touch me, I'm angry today. Fell off the broom
I wish I could take some indelible paint and write Shmarovoz on his car. A friend will ask: -Who are you with? Then he looks at the inscription and everything is clear. And the number of passengers will decrease sharply
Tough. I saw photos of a woman on VKontakte, photos of her and her friend’s legs were taken this way and that, even in the bathroom! Damn, aren't people f#cking crazy?
You were fine without me. With him.
Sarcasm is something we rarely do without. modern world. Sometimes you just can’t express your opinion on something in any other way. Sometimes so that no one understands anything, and sometimes so that everyone understands and understands very precisely. What interesting quotes Can you use sarcasm?
Definition
Sarcasm is a type of satire, caustic mockery. Sarcasm is the highest manifestation irony. The basis of sarcasm is not only the contrast between the implied and the expressed, but also the demonstration of the implied. Often, phrases with sarcasm can begin very positively, but most often carry a negative connotation.
Quotes with sarcasm
Often statements of this kind, based on sarcasm, are aimed at the shortcomings of society. Such quotes most often most openly and at the same time somewhat aggressively express the opinion of the speaker.
Black humor and cynical behavior - what else remains smart person in a society of idiots?
Only those who have it go crazy.
Anyone who knows nothing can take on anything.
I knew a man so little read that he had to compose his own quotations from the classics.
Take care of yourself - what if I need you?
Sarcasm is a natural defensive reaction of the psyche against the stupidity of others.
Do you mind if I smoke?
You know, I don’t care even if you shoot yourself.
Sometimes the statements are quite elegant, their quality is much higher.
For a man to find something in the refrigerator, it must be at eye level and it is advisable to run along the shelf, attracting attention to itself.
I don't know about you, but for me nerve cells not only are they recovering, but they are also trying to take revenge on those responsible for their deaths.
I will give you a manual called “How to Answer phone call" or "Oh, that mysterious green button!"
I'm often wrong, sorry, perfect people!
It is not enough to have wit, you also need to be able to avoid its consequences.
Life experience is a lot of valuable knowledge about how not to behave in situations that will never happen again.
Makeup is an attempt to paint on your face the face of another, much more beautiful woman.
Lord, we broke up, I’ll go crazy and throw myself off the chair.
Sarcasm: quotes and aphorisms
The skill of some people in sarcastic statements leads to the appearance of quotes that become aphorisms. For example, these are quotes from Faina Ranevskaya:
Optimism is a lack of information.
There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
Loneliness is a condition that you have no one to tell about.
Many people complain about their appearance, but no one complains about their brains.
The woman is, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
Do you know what it's like to act in a movie? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and they take you on a tour there.
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
I do the hardest part before breakfast. I get out of bed.
There are no fat women, only small clothes.
I noticed that if you don’t eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, or drink beer with fish, your face becomes smaller, but sadder.
Sarcasm in music
Interestingly, sarcasm can sometimes be found even in music. And not just in popular songs or in the text of some rapper, but in real operas. Of course, the brilliant composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was a master of ridicule, a master of irony. The most different facets of humor from light irony (in the aria “Frisky Boy” - video No. 1 from 45:00) to real sarcasm in the duet of Suzanne and Marcelina, in which they openly quarrel, driving each other to white heat (No. 1 from 22 :00). And in general, the entire opera based on the plot of Beaumarchais is aimed at ridiculing the vices and stupidity of the aristocrats and emphasizing the intelligence of the third estate. And the very plot of one day in the life of Figaro only leaves you wondering how it was even possible to come up with this and twist everything like that?
Below is the opera in Italian, there are Russian subtitles, they can be turned on in the settings.
We present to your attention another opera. She is full of sarcastic remarks.
Among the Russian composers there was also an outstanding master of sarcasm, Alexander Sergeevich Dargomyzhsky, a younger contemporary of Mikhail Ivanovich Glinka and one of the founders of Russian national school. Probably even Mozart would envy Dargomyzhsky’s mastery of sarcasm. The difficult fate of the innovative composer led to the fact that he often resorted to irony, including evil irony. But what role does expressive intonation, which the great and mighty Russian language is so rich in, play in conveying sarcasm? Dargomyzhsky enriched the musical language with speech intonations, both in his romances and in operas. A visual aid to this is “The Stone Guest” based on “A Little Tragedy” by Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. The opera is written to the poet's unchanged text, and expressive speech patterns are complemented by musical intonation.
Sarcasm hovers in the opera from the appearance of the main characters Don Giovanni and Leporello, especially in the latter's lines.
Sarcasm is an integral part of language and worldview. Probably, without this phenomenon, life would be a little boring.
Sarcasm is a real art. It's quite difficult to describe in simple words, but it is quite possible to express it in some phrases. We offer you selected statuses with sarcasm.
Don't let others judge you - do it yourself
- If you notice that you are being lied to, politely ask the person to be more artistic.
- Have you been unable to find reciprocity in your relationship with a girl for a long time? Go outside and feed a stray dog. That's where you get reciprocity!
- I don’t always prefer to answer the phone. And I get terribly angry if I find out that someone else is doing this.
- If you are offended by your significant other, then either lie down together and wake up in the morning in an embrace, or sit and develop a plan for revenge.
- What, honey, were you distracted by someone else? Don't be distracted by me now!
- It turns out that people with poor eyesight cannot believe in miracles. They can't see love at first sight.
- I thank the grandmothers at the entrance for spreading surprisingly loyal rumors.
- Everyone has a person who has completely ruined their life. And everyone has their own person.
The tongue will lead to sarcasm
Statuses about sarcasm are designed for when you want to explain everything quickly, and at the same time - a large number of people. The following phrases will allow you to make the most subtle, and at the same time, the most appropriate hints.
- Don't be too offended by the swearing. Maybe it's in my principles...
- Whenever you do something stupid, remember that someone once took out a loan to pay for a wedding.
- Don't be afraid of "under-the-bed" monsters. Give them a bag of chips that you eat while watching a TV series, and they won't eat you.
- Why should a man worry about appearance, if he has already put on whole clean socks...
- Don't be offended by my sarcasm. This is how I defend myself from your stupidity.
- Appropriate jokes were invented in order to protect someone from suffering, and someone even from suicide.
- Do you know why guys make girls laugh so often? Because a laughing woman usually doesn’t understand much!
- I have so little strength that I don’t even want to pick myself up from the floor.
How much hatred there is sometimes in the phrase “Everything is fine”
A good phrase can replace not only status, but even a full-fledged psychologist. Enjoy short statuses with sarcasm!
- A person should be the only one, not the best.
- Knowing the price does not mean appreciating it.
- Don't look at your enemies, look further.
- Meet, meet. You'll break up anyway.
- Not knowing your worth is sometimes bad.
- TV series are the drug of the new generation.
- Finding tar is more difficult than finding honey. But we succeed.
- In life, avoid idiots and extra calories.
- The truth won't bring you friends.
- Most often, the impact on the rake occurs unnoticed.
- There is always insincere hatred between lovers.
- Accept that everyone is talking about each other.
- You can test the depth with only one foot.
- Not to promise also requires strength.
- The more friends a person has, the better he lies.
- A secret for two. The third one will destroy it.
If you have a disgusting character, you leave no one indifferent
Funny statuses with sarcasm are definitely not for the faint of heart. We warn you that not all of your friends on social networks may like them.
- As soon as they start ignoring me, I involuntarily catch myself thinking that they are simply enjoying me.
- I wish all my enemies long life to their annoying relatives!
- Conscience often contradicts logic. I develop the second, and mostly ignore the first.
- It’s not baggy clothes that make you look fat, but the “porky” portion.
- All children are born a little strange. Most adults remain this way.
- Don't lie to your parents. But there are some parents who can kill you for a certain kind of truth.
- I don't want to seem intrusive, but I would be glad to never meet you again.
- An unloved colleague did not come to work and fell ill. Let him recover quickly, who should we throw mud at...
There's nothing more annoying than love at first sight
Almost everyone has exes with whom, to put it mildly, it was not a good break up. In order to speak correctly on the topic, there are statuses about love with sarcasm.
- When looking at a loved one, the pupils dilate slightly. Especially when looking at yourself, your loved one.
- Jealousy is bad. For the hair of that miguera who dared to look at him.
- Yes, I loved her. But this cannot mean that I loved no one besides her.
- Before building a relationship brick by brick, take care of the protection of building materials.
- Love is something that is not worth looking for. All its charm is in surprise.
- “I love you”: so few words, but so many different problems...
- The strongest relationships are those where respect prevails. Love can ruin a lot of things.
- There is definitely a soulmate somewhere, but if you are made to be stupid, you will lose it as soon as you meet it.
- I'm ready to do anything for her. No, not for that, and certainly not for that. Come on, it’s not bad to live alone...
Sarcasm statuses are a great opportunity to show a sense of humor. Therefore, quickly install the phrase you like.
Be sure to keep your childhood photographs. Suddenly, one day you will have to prove that you became a bastard and were not born.
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I'm smarter than an elephant - at least I don't drink water from a puddle with my nose.
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So what if the wind is in your head - but your thoughts are always fresh.
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I am against the assertion that only idiots hang out on the Internet... there are many interesting, smart, talented, beautiful souls people... Me, for example... And the slight crazyness... it’s even piquant.
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You can go from yourself to yourself all your life... And at some point you can get such a kick from life that you quickly find your place in it... and yourself at the same time...
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I didn't go through face control at the zoo!
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When I... am visited by INSPIRATION... other visitors... are no longer allowed into the ROOM...
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Today I... put on makeup in the morning... And looking in the mirror, I began to cry: Oh, you are a terrible force... BEAUTY!!! And more SCARY than... POWER
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- How old are you?
- Oh, I'm already old! I still lived in a time when “bitch” was an insult, not a compliment.
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No consistency... either I'm hysterical... or in the clouds... Airborne seizure...
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All ladies are like ladies, and I am like a horse in a blanket.
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The doctor told me not to be nervous... Not at all, that is. At all. Under no circumstances. Now this is the third day and I’m not nervous... I’m not nervous with all my might. It just fucking infuriates me, no matter how nervous I am.
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I am not lying!!! I'm just imagining things...
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I look in the mirror... it seems like nothing... beautiful... I come closer, take a closer look... oh my... GODDESS
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And again the lesson is not for the future,
The same rake - in the same forehead,
In the same place, into a puddle - bang!
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HOW GOOD it is to be alone in the apartment... smearing mascara in the morning, eating mushrooms from a jar with your hands and not keeping your back straight...
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My cheerful disposition and unbridled optimism often resemble complete idiocy...
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I recently read in scientific journal that ideal appearance is not photogenic. OH, I THINK I'M TOO PERFECT.
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Off to do good...
I really hope no one gets hurt...
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Before I do anything, I ask myself: “What would my cat do in my place?” As a result, I either eat or go to bed...
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I can easily and naturally roll up balls to any beauty... in a bowling alley!
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Everything is fine with me... I just sometimes doubt... No, not that it’s good... That I have...
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They gave me a car... Now I’m not just a participant in a traffic jam, I’m its organizer...
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Don't offer friendship! Just get married! Briefly about yourself: Magical all over!
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The phrase: “Get off your phone already!” I hear more often than my name.
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I’m a very good cook... I can cook noodles... Brew porridge... Add oil... In general, I’m a clever wizard...
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Something is cockroaches in my head Lately behave defiantly... In order to suppress their uprising, they had to hire a squirrel. It’s quiet so far, but... it seems the squirrel is up to something with the cockroaches.
I got you! Now imagine what it’s like for me. Alone with myself. 24 hours. 7 days a week. And you're not going anywhere
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I’m still going anywhere, I’m just dreaming of peace!
And I’m quite happy with this life!
And may someone be born under a lucky star,
Well, I was born... under a comet!...
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I am often asked if I can seriously and frankly post my thoughts and feelings in statuses. I answer seriously and honestly: “I perform soul striptease very rarely!”
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Yes, people don’t spend as long in prison as I do on the Internet!
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I'm not the wonderful romantic dork I try to appear to be. A boring, prudent bloke.
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I constantly do two things: lie and sleep with Angelina Jolie...
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My husband... finds me... in shopping centers... based on SMS reports from a bank card...
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Do you think my childhood is playing in my butt? No, you're wrong, there's a whole kindergarten settled.
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I admit my mistakes... Brilliant...
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If it weren't for the wheel on the mouse, I wouldn't have any physical activity did not have …
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It’s already evening... And I still don’t want to do so much...
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A drop like Me... can overflow... the cup of any patience
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I realized that my wife drives a car better than me! I can’t move with the handbrake, but she drove around all day...
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Treat me with HUMOR, I still won’t say anything sensible...
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How fast life flies! More and more “never” appear... I will never jump with a parachute, I will never get rich again, I will never wear that frivolous dress... One thing consoles me: I will still have time to do a lot of stupid things!
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I will answer questions only in the presence of my personal psychiatrist!
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They say that Russian rock is loved by drunkards and thinkers. It's embarrassing to admit, but I don't drink...
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I'm going to work today. At the hairdresser: “Haircut 300 rubles, details from the administrator.” At the car show: “3% discount for everyone, contact the manager for details.” Well, in the morning I put a sign on the table: “I’m evil! My husband has the details!”
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Evil is me at 6 am
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I hope that in the New Year I will stop feeling like a workhorse, and will become a little pony that everyone looks after...
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Sometimes such smart thoughts come into your head that you feel like a complete idiot.
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The ability to shut up in time is a great and invaluable talent, unfortunately, I do not possess it.
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Today I met a person with the same character as me... It’s hard to admit it, but YES... I wanted to strangle this infection after just 10 minutes.
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There are people who don’t know me at all... THEY ARE BAD WITHOUT ME... PROBABLY...
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Three important rules:
don't go to the store hungry
on a date - excited
and don't update your drunk status...
Some people are simply evil, and only the strongest of them become so of their own free will. About this and more - in the evil statuses of VK.
Any evil is due to lack of love
- Statistics confirm that any piece of poop is sure to pretend to be Raffaello's candy.
- Some people just want to... brew a herbal infusion with herbs. And some people just want to be beaten with these herbs.
- If they try to trample you, think about whether you should be offended. Maybe a person has no more ways to rise at all.
- It is so difficult for a person to simply do something for another. But if you intimidate with karma, then it’s easy.
- Silence is gold. But how expensive it is...
- People who promised to write and sit peacefully online go to hell out of turn.
- I never hold evil in my soul: I just give it to someone else.
- You can get up on the wrong foot, or you can be born. Do you catch the difference?!
- Don't use foul language if you don't know how to do it beautifully.
The most terrible person is a friend who became a traitor
Justice can befall each of us. In no case should it be left unpunished: the evil statuses of VK must be used to the maximum.
- Thinking about what you did for me, I notice that a few years for murder is not so much.
- Traitors tend to appear when everything is bad even without them.
- Loneliness is when even the cat doesn’t want to sleep at your feet.
- You will also thank me for my “rudeness”: I am writing a description for you for free.
- I would like to wake up every morning with my beloved, but so far I only wake up with the desire to die.
- I will not console myself with the thought that only narrow-minded people discuss me. If I find out, I will limit them even more.
- Yes, I don’t expect you to understand me. You can't do this without brains...
- You can learn at least all the boxing techniques, but you must find an answer to the question “Why are you so impudent?”
Being able to ruin life is a talent
Angry statuses about life will tell about pain, bad luck and failure in completely different words. Perhaps then all of them will not be so significant...
- My behavior may not inspire enthusiasm, but it makes many people shut up.
- If I need to, I will definitely smile sweetly. But the abuse that I swear at in my mind is unknown to very many.
- To your “sorry” I can only say “It’s okay.” More precisely, write. Even more precisely, a nail on your door.
- Think about it, because each of us has ruined the life of another a little.
- I get offended very easily, I “move away” very easily, and I spend a very long time making plans for revenge.
- Maybe good triumphs over evil, but definitely for someone else.
- People suffering by my will, know: at that moment I was simply hungry.
- As soon as Elena realized that nothing other than her conscience was stopping her, she immediately got rid of it. And oh, how I didn’t regret it!
Evil never sleeps
There is enough bad, as well as good, in our lives. The main thing is to take what you need for yourself. And leave everything bad in evil statuses about life with meaning.
- People throw words to the wind so relaxed that someday I will also relax and throw something heavier at them.
- Be afraid overweight women on a diet - they are already angry and can still hit you in the head.
- Anyone who makes crooked schedules at universities ends up in hell without a queue.
- You simply expressed your opinion, to which you have every right. I just bought a chainsaw and remembered your address.
- I don’t understand whether to go feed the pigeons or shoot someone...
- He wanted open relationship, but was extremely surprised when he was sent three letters. Conclusion: dreams come true.
- In general, I’m a quiet person, but one wrong word about my mother and I’m ready to kill.
- If I try to create good impression, then I won’t necessarily continue to do it when I’m offended.
It pays to watch what you say
To live life without meeting a single bad person is unrealistic. For each of them it is necessary to keep angry short statuses.
- Special features: listens to music through a speaker.
- The snow melted and the former appeared.
- I freaked out and actually forgot my head instead of a pen.
- There is no wind of change upon you.
- A nervous person definitely doesn’t need an expensive phone.
- Shyness is worse than tactlessness.
- I'm not crying, I'm just imitating a fountain.
- It's your fault that I miss you.
Words that are usually answered not with words 
In order for the conflict to be resolved, it must be ended in time. And, of course, secure it with very evil statuses.
- You shouldn’t take everything so closely, maybe the offender just has a meager sex life or its absence altogether.
- I look at you and feel how I have a complex of usefulness.
- In fact, guys are afraid to get involved with good girls. They understand, the bastards, that one place will immediately stick together.
- I don’t regret that you left at all: it’s just that every rag needs its own mop.
- Don't teach me life, and I won't teach you spelling rules.
- What are you talking about, I still have a long time to get down to you...
- I know that you are saying this purely because of your complexes. But you know: I will forgive you tomorrow, but my complexes with you will remain.
- Remember, girls: every chicken should cluck in her own chicken coop.
Fill the status line with interesting phrases.