The interview with my mother is the most forgotten one. Interview with mother of many children Ekaterina Sinenko. Having many children - why do people decide to do this?

Living with God is easier and more joyful. The mother of many children, Angelina Valeryevna Burdeynaya, is convinced of this, with whom the correspondent of the newspaper “Lukoyanovskaya Pravda” F. Kedyarkina spoke.

“Two years ago, the family of Angelina Valerievna Burdeina settled in the village of Kudeyarovo, Lukoyanovsky district. All family members became parishioners of the church in honor of All Saints. A large family, and even a churchgoer, is still a rare event in our district, which one cannot help but be interested in. Father Alexy Silin suggested that I get to know this family a long time ago. And now the occasion has arrived - Mother's Day.

And here I am in the Burdein’s house. Children run out of all the doors into the hallway different ages. The hostess introduces them by name. And for a closer acquaintance, we sit together in a spacious living room with soft sofas, a piano, a computer desk and a bookcase. In the red corner I notice a family iconostasis with a lamp. It’s late afternoon - the whole family, except the father, is gathered; the children have finished their classes at school and in clubs. The eldest son Alexander came home on leave from the city of Sarov, where he serves under a contract in the paramilitary security.

Mom begins a leisurely story about how and where their big family. I am sure that his bright moments will forever remain in the memory of the children. Many of us, having reached old age, lament with deepest regret that we were not curious, were not interested in our roots, and did not ask our parents about the past. It always seems to us that we still have time, that there is a lot of time ahead.

Angelina Valerievna comes from a military family. The only daughter, together with her parents, has been accustomed to moving from garrison to garrison since childhood. After her military father retired, the family settled in Kazakhstan, where the girl graduated pedagogical institute, faculty foreign languages. She got married there and gave birth to her first child, Sasha. Thanks to him, I started visiting with my husband Orthodox church, where my son attended Sunday school. Over the years, living with God according to Christian rules became the way of life for their young family. After some time, the couple got married.

Angelina Valerievna inherited housing from her father in Astrakhan region determined the further choice of place of residence. In Akhtubinsk, they had four more children - Maria, Anastasia, Militsa and Peter.

“Unfortunately, living there became unbearable because of the heat,” shares Angelina Valerievna, “almost round-the-clock air temperatures above plus fifty degrees became impossible to bear. And my husband and I decided to move to middle lane Russia with her temperate climate. We chose the Lukoyanovsky district, the village of Atingevo. At first everything suited us there: beautiful nature, rich in gifts, rural school, necessary social institutions. But gradually all this began to fold and close. And my husband and I realized the futility of life there, especially for children. And four years ago we bought a house in Kudeyarov. My husband works as a driver on long-distance flights, and I take care of the house and children. Our Varya, the sixth child in the family, was born here.

– How do you manage to endure all these moves, changes with such big family, - I ask Angelina Valerievna.

- And with God's help, she answers. – We, people, make decisions to change some conditions of our lives and ask the Lord for help. I won’t say every day, but we quite often perform the morning and evening rules with the whole family, regularly visit the temple, and ask the priest for his blessing. And if something still fails to be done as planned, we do not fall into despair.

But in this moment, - Angelina continues her story, - everything is going well. While my husband is on long flights, I run the household with the help of my children. For supporting family budget We keep three goats, piglets, and feathered animals. We set a watch for everyone. Children with early childhood they know how to do a lot around the house.

The day in the Burdeyny family is full of activities and worries. In the morning, four children go to school, which is very close to home - a ten-minute walk. Now there is no need to wake up children at six in the morning, as was the case in Atingeev, and go through snowy, unclean streets to the bus to get to classes at the Shandrovsky school. Their academic performance has improved, all children study at “4″ and “5″.”

Everyone now has time for their favorite activities. After completing up to three to four hours homework under the supervision of their mother, the children, accompanied by her, go to clubs and sections. Eighth-grader Masha is involved in a school photography club. She has already decided on her choice of profession - she will be a doctor.

“She likes to devote her free time to reading,” her mother says about her. “In our house there are no crime books or women’s books.” romance novels. From childhood, children are accustomed to reading that is good for the soul and mind: adventures, fairy tales, everyday stories. Orthodox stories, natural science publications.

Very often the younger ones sit around Masha, and she reads aloud to them. The eldest daughter sometimes replaces her mother in the kitchen. She loves to cook for the whole family unusual dishes By own recipes, although he sometimes looks into recipe books.

Seventh grader Nastya younger than Maria just for a year. He studies without grades, and after classes he rushes to the art school, where he attends the art department for the second year. “Nastya has loved drawing since childhood,” explains Angelina Valerievna, “she has mastered computer graphics well.” Sister Milica, a 4th grade student, also practices piano here. Thanks to her hobby, music is now often heard in the Burdein family’s house - the girl was bought an instrument for home practice.

Second-grader Peter chose a purely male activity for himself - a section combat sambo at the Kolos sports and recreation center. “To be strong myself and protect the girls,” he explains his choice.

The youngest, Varvara, also tries to keep up with her brothers and sisters. She is about five years old, but she already has her favorite books. And this fall she started attending the section figure skating at the Kolos sports and recreation center.

But the elder Alexander’s studies and plans for the future are already more serious and thorough. He discusses them with his parents. But most often with my mother, who is always at home, nearby. Alexander is already quite an adult, an accomplished person. He graduated from two technical colleges, is studying by correspondence to become a lawyer, and plans to find a job in the internal affairs bodies.
After serving in the army, the young man remained to serve under a contract. He is preparing to start a family and receive housing as a contract soldier. Little sisters and the brother is waiting with curiosity when the brother brings his chosen one to their family, how they will become friends with her.

All life processes in this big and friendly family Mom leads calmly, hardworkingly and with great love for God and loved ones. Her warm, bright house is never empty. It is filled with useful works that develop the soul and body. Friends often come to visit her children. Guests are always welcome here; for everyone there is a kind word, a tasty treat and an interesting activity.”

Text and photo: Faina Kedyarkina.

Again, I found it on the Internet. I was surprised.

h2>Positive mother of many children Irina Bochai: “I have one rule: I must be well-groomed!”

Irina Bochay She’s only 33, and she’s a happy mother of as many as nine children!

First of all, dispel your doubts and answer the most popular questions: do you have children of your own, do you have twins or triplets, did you give birth to them yourself?

I’m telling you that all the children are my own, I don’t have twins or triplets. I gave birth to all of them naturally.

Irina, tell us about your kids!

My eldest girl Katerina is 16 years old, she used to be very interested in drawing, her paintings were exhibited at the Lavra several times. She likes languages ​​(she studied Italian, German and English), now her soul lies more in physics and mathematics.

Anastasia’s second daughter is 15 years old, she graduated this year music school His class is violin, although he can play the piano. Daniel is 13 and plays the accordion.

Timothy is 12, engaged in wrestling. Oleg is 10 years old, we haven’t decided yet what to choose, cello or aikido. Irina is 9 years old, Grigory is 6 years old, Tatyana is 4 years old, and the youngest Yaroslav is still 1 year and 10 months old.

Total: 4 girls and 5 boys.

When did you meet your other half?

What I tell you will be more like a fairy tale. I met my future husband Oleg at the age of 17, 4 days later he proposed to me, and a week later we got married.

How did it happen that you became a heroine mom?

You know, everyone has their own life credo. I believe that a family should have as many children as God gives.

Tell us, in what conditions does your large family live?

Now we live in a 4-room apartment, which was allocated by the state in 2009. Before that, we huddled in a two-room apartment, but there were fewer of us then. In the evenings, when everyone comes home from school and kindergarten, it’s quite noisy from about 5-6 o’clock, but this is quite normal. We're not complaining. There is also an apartment, but so far they are only promising.

By law, you are entitled to a car...

There is a law, but there is no car. There are many doors in the world, you are unlucky with some, there is nothing to break down. At the “Dancing with the Stars” project, I received a Skoda Fabia car as a prize, and now I go to the grocery store.

Irina, tell me, who helps you with the children?

Only God. I have never had nannies or housekeepers. My mother lives abroad and helps by telephone.

Is it very difficult financially?

Let's cope! Neither deputies nor sponsors are interested in us. I have the “Mother Heroine” order, but it does not provide any additional payments or benefits. In Ukraine there is no benefit for a mother of many children; I only receive benefits for small child. Like everyone else, I pay for kindergarten, only for school lunches it comes out to 300 UAH a month, I don’t even want to count how much is spent on food.

And so everything goes according to plan. Once they invested money in the baby’s dowry, then the baby’s clothes, stroller, and crib are handed over youngest child by inheritance. Most often they help simple people. I was very lucky with my neighbors. Many children have outgrown their clothes, so they tell us.

Who cooks the food? How many liters of borscht do you have to cook?

You know, this is perhaps one of the most popular questions. People think that we have a 20-liter pot of soup or borscht cooking on the stove. In fact, my husband eats one food, I eat another, the older children like one thing, the younger ones another. It turns out that everyone needs to cook separately. Of course, all 4 burners and a separate electric kettle are used on the stove. For example, yesterday the older children and I made dumplings and made a pie.

How does the morning start?

We're off to a busy start to the day! My morning starts with a run. Sometimes I take one of my children with me for company. Jogging, stretching, dousing yourself with water by the lake, and then cooking breakfast. I am preparing food now for now, that is, for 1 time. There is little purchased food; everything is homemade and fresh. In the morning my husband loves thin crispy pancakes with spicy meat filling, I oatmeal with coffee, older children can have sandwiches for breakfast, younger children must eat porridge.

How many years have you been on maternity leave?

It turns out that I have been on maternity leave for 16 years, and have been breastfeeding for 16 years with short breaks. I stopped breastfeeding when I was 5 months pregnant.

Is there a secret to how to cope with so many children?

With the advent of my third child, things became much easier for me. One child is a guard. He has nowhere to put himself, he is an egoist who constantly demands attention. Two children are already competition, “showing off” in front of the adults, who is better. The crowd of children is busy with themselves, the adults are not bothered.

Is there competition between children, a struggle for parental attention?

The youngest son is still the owner. But from experience I will say that when children grow up, they understand that their mother is common. There is no jealousy between children. Outside the walls of the house, the children are friendly and united.

How do you manage everything?

So you don’t have time with one child, and the same with two, three, or four... you still don’t have time. It is important to remember that no one has time to do absolutely everything.

What do you wish for all mothers?

I have one rule: I must be well-groomed. It's not about money or time. I can find so many “excuses” not to do a manicure, pedicure, hairstyle, not to run, not to do abs... But if you want to be well-groomed, then you will. The main desire!

Yuri Gagarin and Anna Akhmatova were the third child in the family.

Composer Edvard Grieg was fourth.

Biologist Ilya Mechnikov and writer Emily Bronte are fifth.

Actor and singer Adriano Celentano, composer Johann Sebastian Bach, St. Macarius of Moscow, writer Mark Twain are the sixth children in the family.

Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets was the tenth child.

Konstantin Tsiolkovsky - eleventh.

Writer Theodore Dreiser is twelfth.

Surgeon Nikolai Pirogov - thirteenth.

Dmitry Mendeleev was the seventeenth child in the family.

) is already expecting her eighth child, we learned in an unusual way - from Sibmama’s blogs, where her pregnancy became the subject of a lively discussion.

Isn’t it difficult to give birth several years in a row, is it possible to pay attention to so many babies at once and still work, and in general “why so many?”, we decided to find out from the mother with many children herself.

- Zinaida, is a big family your long-time dream? Was your husband immediately like-minded?

Of course, there was no such dream. I couldn’t even think about this 15 years ago; I thought there would be three. I myself come from a large family: there were three of us, and I was the third, so for me this was the norm. My husband also didn’t think about having such many children... but it’s hard to think about it in advance!

” - We never planned the number of children, we were just always ready for the results married life. Now we have seven children: Pasha is 11 years old, Sonya is 10, Vova is 8, Dasha is 4, Sasha is 3, Zakha is 2, and Nadya is only 11 months old.

They are all different,” says Zina. - The eldest Pasha is kind and sympathetic, my assistant, very caring. Sonya is wayward, with strong character, but lazy! Vova is very responsible and meticulous, Dasha is a kind, sweet girl, Sasha... well, he just has the whole emotional spectrum in himself! Zakhar is spontaneous, stubborn, even treacherous, but Nadyusha is still the queen for everyone.

- Zina, have you felt the difference between a “one-child” mother and, say, a “five-child” mother?

The feeling of motherhood changed, of course. Experience comes, and then wisdom! Mother’s wisdom, if you’re lucky, sometimes comes both with age and with children. It gradually began to come to me from the fourth child, at least I believe so. But with each child you learn something new: to show love, patience, care, and sometimes condescension; you don’t force things, you don’t invent problems, but you solve real ones as they arise; you don’t look into the future, but live here and now.

Many siblings were surprised that your children have such a small age difference, but, nevertheless, you are in excellent physical shape. How do you do this?

My health allows it, I don’t understand why this should surprise anyone! I don’t do anything specifically for my health and figure, I don’t play sports, I don’t adhere to a certain nutritional system, but I don’t eat everything, certainly unhealthy.

Mothers with many children communicate on our forum, but, as a rule, the difference in children is greater: the youngest is a newborn, and the eldest is already a student. Your children are close in age and have similar needs. Is it possible to give everyone individual attention?

It turns out! Of course, taking into account their characters: some need more attention, others less... I’m balancing. Similar needs rather make my task easier; I manage to please everyone.

“When I look at Nadya, and she looks at me, always smiling, when Dasha can kiss my hand for no reason and say that she loves me, when Vovchik hugged me today, when I coughed a lot, when Pasha can kiss me in the morning, when I sleep , thinking that I don’t feel, but I feel when Sasha can bring a blanket and cover my legs, just like that, when Zakharik is unapproachable, he can come up from behind and hug my neck, and Sonya constantly comes up for a kiss, when on her she thinks “the battery is dead”... It seems like she hasn’t forgotten anyone? In general, no matter how you look at it, I know it’s love!” (from Instagram @zinaiost)

You creative profession. Are you taking a “parental leave” for yourself, or are you going straight back to work? How difficult is it for a mother of many children to engage in creativity - is your head full of household chores, or, on the contrary, are you happy to break away from your children and family and are completely immersed in filming?

My head is never full of household chores! These are little things that can be solved simply, without big thoughts. There was never any vacation, the first month at most. I calmly dive into work. Of course, there are difficulties, especially in photo processing. I can only allocate time for this at night, when everyone is sleeping, so I slightly changed the types of shooting to make it easier for me, and the client is happy. Experience helps you do everything quickly, although sometimes even this “quickly” does not have time. But I always try to optimize the process.

A large family is associated with a housewife mother, the keeper of the family hearth. You are a modern working woman. Do you have family traditions, such as New Year's?

For me, a modern working mother can easily be a homemaker at the same time. This is true! I worked, came, and let’s take care of the house, then I prepared a meal, here’s a cozy fireplace for you.

” - Everything can be combined, it would be for the sake of someone! Children stimulate a lot, otherwise I would definitely be a lazy housewife, I have a weakness...

We celebrate New Year at home, and there is always red caviar on bread and butter... This is definitely our tradition, even mine, from my childhood.

How do you manage to take care of children, housework and work? Is someone helping you? What do you consider mandatory and what is desirable, if you have enough time and energy?

We don’t have assistants or nannies; my husband and I manage on our own. Of course, I don’t get a lot done around the house (I wish I could!), but the world hasn’t collapsed yet because I don’t hang out the wet laundry on time or don’t make the bed. The main thing is to set your priorities correctly: husband, children, and then everything else. And it’s easier, easier to relate to difficulties!

“Starting with the third child, I teach my children to fall asleep immediately in the crib after eating. I breastfeed until about three months, and from then on I’m bottle-weaned! Next, we begin to train the habit: crib, bottle, means sleep! We are creating such a tradition. But this is all taking into account the fact that the child is healthy and nothing bothers him: he has eaten, played, and should sleep. Now Nadya has had enough of playing, I’m taking her to bed. If she ate before, then just with a pacifier, if she ate for a long time, then I fill the bottle, she holds it herself and falls asleep. I don’t sit next to you, give you the bottle and say “that’s it, go to sleep” and it works. The pacifier is always for sleeping. Why only from the third child? Because before that we lived with my mother, and for her to rock the crib - favorite hobby, even when the child doesn’t want to sleep.” (from Instagram @zinaiost)

Many women, having become mothers, complain that they seem to have been “turned off” from life - their interests are now too different from their former friends, there is too little mobility. Don't you have that feeling?

I'm not complaining about anything, everything suits me! True friends will not go anywhere, no one has taken away my mobility yet, but I don’t want to go anywhere at all. On the contrary, he always wants to go home.

In families with several children, elders often help parents. How do you organize the life of older children in the family? What are their household responsibilities?

Helping is normal, even in a large or small family. Helping someone who needs your help is the basis of who we will raise, if we do not lay down the main thing - to be kind and sympathetic. The older ones help, and they also divide the younger ones who should play with whom. The main thing we teach is to at least clean up after yourself: things, dishes from the table... No excessive work, as, by the way, in Soviet times: cooking, washing, cleaning, ironing - I do everything myself. At most, I can ask for things to be pulled out washing machine, vacuum. It’s everyone’s responsibility to collect toys; the quality, however, is still suffering... But that’s okay, they’ll learn!

Do your children go to school, kindergartens? How is the relationship with educational institutions- Do you, for example, have to do homework with your children?

They go to kindergartens, to school too, we periodically help with homework, but we don’t stand over them. We teach you responsibility! Not all of them have been successful yet, but we are trying to set an example.

- You are very famous as an insta-mom. What does your social media brand mean to you?

From the very beginning I created the page to show our life. When there were only three children, someone asked “Zina, show more children!” And I, without any special plans for the future, just filmed how my children lived, because why take pictures if you don’t want to show it? Gradually, the blog became more saturated, new readers began to appear who said that my page gave them strength and confidence. Someone decides on the first, someone on the fourth, someone refuses to have an abortion, seeing our life... I think for this it was already worth creating a blog, wasting time and effort. And I also like it, it’s a pleasure for me. A blog is definitely not a way to make up for a lack of communication, or an escape from routine - it’s part of real life.

- Do you now have the thought: “Well, the 8th (10th, 15th) child is the limit, no more”?

I don’t pose the question like that, I never have. We don't know anything at all about tomorrow. If I think about the future, then only about the good, no fears.

” - 11 years ago, before the birth of my first child, I could not imagine that I could love so many children at the same time and at the same time they would all be mine. So the 8th, 9th... there is no limit to a mother's love!

Interviewed by Irina Ilyina

Header photo of Elena Berezhneva (edited by Z. Jost)

Pwhy today the large family such a rarity , why is society often even aggressive towards large families? , Whatsuch an ideal family and aboutsecretOheducationMaria Bubnova, a mother of four children, tells in an interview.

— Please tell me what a family is, from your point of view, and what it should be like?

— Family- this is a married union loving spouses and children, which is a single living organism. Husband- head of the family, wife out of love (if you love a person, then you are afraid of offending him, upsetting him, you want to do everything so that there is love, peace, God's blessing in the family) obeys and helps him, children obey their parents, realizing that disobedience leads to serious consequences. Also here, in the family, are grandparents - as the most wise people in life. Parents learn to honor them. D I go with my grandmother to the delight of my grandchildren, and the grandchildren themselves are also delighted by their attention to them - reading books in the evenings, playing checkers, words...

— Please tell us about your children. Are they similar or completely different?

— All mothers of many children They will say that the children in their families are different. They are similar in appearance, but in character... Everyone has different temperaments: the eldest is sanguine, the second is melancholic, the third is choleric, the fourth is sanguine. We My husband and I noticed one interesting feature: a child’s character develops during pregnancy! Here are examples: I was the eldest in my last year of study, took exams, defended my diploma. It was easy and joyful for me; it was the first year of marriage. And my daughter’s character has developed like this - cheerful, dreamy, she loves to study, invent...

I was afraid to give birth to my second, remembering how mi The first birth was difficult. She prayed a lot, was withdrawn and reserved. And the second daughter was born serious, self-sufficient.

I spent my third pregnancy getting ready – moving from city to village. She collected everything, gave it away, then dismantled it in a new place, mastered the village and the garden with overflowing energy...And the third turned out to be the most energetic in the family, easy to communicate, and economical!

— Is external fulfillment important for a woman?

— Probably yes - but in a small dose. For the first three years I worked as a teacher, then I went on maternity leave for many years. When I gave birth to my third, I was asked to quit my job. In 13 years family life I run the house And I work from home. All my children did not and do not go to kindergarten. At first I felt a little bad about not going to work. But the husband said: “I earn enough money, we have everything we need at home. Don’t go anywhere, be close to the children, they need your love...” I agree with him.

Now I find fulfillment in reading books and a little on the Internet - talking with friends, typing a little orthodox stories, I'll find out new information on the topic of your work.

— What is more important for children – material security or the care and love of their parents, sisters and brothers?

— I asked this question to the children (except for the fourth, he is not yet three years), and they all immediately answered: “The love of parents and each other!”

It seems to me that all the children in the world want this one – love. But not all parents listen to them...

— Do life guidelines change with the advent of a large family?

— I guess it's yes. When we had small childrenand we lived in the city, we were drawn to the village. But in her we are faced with problems: education for children (there are no clubs, music and art school, the nearest secondary school was closed completely), with a lack of money, implementation to her myself. It is easier for large families to live in the city, but at the same time you lose: closeness to nature and, accordingly, a calmer, healthier, working rhythm of life...

- How you spend free time, if this happens, don’t you want to take a break from family worries?

— About once a year, in the summer, we go on vacation to Crimea or Abkhazia by the sea. What a great time for the whole family to relax! And so, once a month we try to visit a museum or a concert, an exhibition... We went to puppet show. If the children are not sick (the flu seems to have hit us all...), I try to walk with them either in the park or on the playground. On children's birthdays and holidays, we invite other large families and organize games, competitions...

— Are there any problems that do not arise in a family with many children?

— I think that children in a normal large family will not have selfishness. How can selfishness manifest itself here if in a family several children at once learn to give in to each other, ask for forgiveness, forgive, share, ima ugh... It’s hard for one child learned t. And here is daily school!

The children probably don’t have much free time either.: everyone takes turns washing the dishes, cleaning something, tidying up, I tell them I also give you tasks to embroider something on draw, they go to music school...Children in large families understand the value of time and work.

There is a learning experience from older children. The younger ones will immediately learn to walk on potty, and read, draw, play excitingly, looking at the elders...

There is also a feeling of “elbowdom” - children go to school together and leave it together. The younger ones are starting to miss the older students. And how happy those children who stay at home are - they can play, work out with their favorite baby...

There is no danger of excessive hyperopia in a large family e ki - there are a lot of children, here you have to have time to pay attention to everyone e...

Children from large families are more independent, sociable, and have experience managing younger children.

— We saw photographs where you bake cookies with your children: you do it so well together. Do you have any parenting secrets?

As in any Orthodox family– obedience, work and prayer. But above that is love and attention to every child. We pray together in the morning: Each child takes turns reading “To the King of Heaven,” “ Holy Trinity"and other prayers called s in ae t his patron saint,godparents, asks about health and peace. I have an evening rule - reading the Psalter, and the children help me. Morning prayer calms and organizes the day, gives strength, and the Psalter (ancient Slavic text) develops memory well, drives away despondency and demons.

We fast together at home and go to church every Sunday.

— Your children are fond of handicrafts, perform work in various techniques: beading, appliqué, embroidery. Does this activity have any children developing andeducational potential?

All this develops attention, perseverance (my youngest doesn’t really like to sit...), imagination (you have to choose the color and design yourself), artistic taste, motor skills, the ability to use a needle, pencil, scissors... There is another feature - we give crafts, and the children are happy the fact that they can make something with their own hands and give it to someone they love: godparents, girlfriends, other family members, teachers yam...

— What is an ideal family?

For us, the ideal family is the royal family of Nicholas II and Alexandra. Their children were so pure, beautiful, friendly, merciful (three girls were sisters of mercy), cheerful! And how they all loved each other! And their mother, Alexandra Fedorovna, endlessly surprises me with her sacrifice - she had facial neuralgia, periodically lay in bed, could not get up due to leg disease, but she overpowered herself. She gave all of herself to her family and people (along with doctors, she worked in the hospital, often even staying up at night; she gave her and her children’s crafts to everyone around them, organized charitable societies, schools and orphanages...).

— Why do you think large families are so rare today?

— People do not want to sacrifice themselves, they are afraid of losing free time, entertainment, peace, they do not know that the more children in the family, the more joy the Lord will give!

— Why do you think society is often even aggressive towards large families?

— It seems to me that people envy people with many children - they are not like everyone else, they do not commit the terrible sin of abortion, they work, they sacrifice themselves. But the majority cannot do this! Children are God's gift, God's blessing. Many people don’t understand this and believe that life is pleasure. And God will have to give an answer - did you live your life correctly, did you do good to anyone? Did you raise your children well, did you truly love them?

A large family is a reproach to the selfishness of single people, who somehow, willy-nilly, have to justify themselves. At least before your conscience!

— Thanks for the interesting answers, Maria. God bless your family.

A family lives in Novokuznetsk with 13 children. After the loss of his wife last year, caring for the children fell on the courageous shoulders of the father. Journalists from VashGorod.ru visited them. Father Oleg Nekrasov and eldest daughter Nina.

VG: Oleg, tell me, how many children do you have?

HE: Our family is very large, especially by today's standards. My wife and I have 13 children: nine sons and four daughters. Let me make a reservation right away that the children are all relatives.

The eldest son Ivan is 21 years old, Konstantin is 20, daughter Nina is 19, Alexander is 18, then Alena was born, she is 16, Tatyana is 15, Dmitry is 13, Victor is 12, Irina is 11, Vladimir is 9, Andrey is 7, Egor is 5 and Alexey is 2 years old. The eldest son got married and already has two children: a one-year-old daughter and a son who is not yet two months old.

VG: Did you and your wife dream of a big family?

HE: We wanted children, and it didn’t matter to us how many there would be. A total of 15 children were born, but unfortunately two died.

In general, neither my wife nor I dreamed that we would have so many children. The wife was always told that she would have a big family, because she loved to cook so much that sometimes she got carried away and cooked such a volume of food that it was possible to feed an entire army of soldiers. Neither my wife nor I have ever been against a large family, and we have one.

VG: Oleg, tell us how you met your soulmate?

HE: I won’t tell you all the details, because I don’t remember the smallest details. I met Oksana, my future wife dancing. Then I worked in VD-30 as a driver, and she as a telephone operator. Everything happened somehow by itself without any special features.

Nina: My parents are 15 years apart (smiles).

VG: Don’t you confuse children’s birthdays?

HE: Come on, of course not. By the way, many people ask this question, but I have one answer - they didn’t fall out of the tub at the same time. And how can you forget the days when your children were born.

VG: How do you manage to find an approach to each child?

HE: This question is very interesting, but not difficult. Only at first glance it seems that it is difficult to find an approach to a child, no matter whether he is alone in the family or there are thirteen of them. I will give free advice to parents - you need to communicate and talk with your children every day. Then you will learn to feel them intuitively. Knowing their child, parents will understand his mood.

VG: How did your relatives feel that your family was getting bigger and bigger every year?

HE: To put it mildly, everyone was horrified. The older children were born in the difficult 90s. It was not easy then, but we managed, although even the administration did not support us. It used to be that my wife and I went to the authorities, as soon as we announced the number of children, we heard only one answer: “Who is forcing you to give birth.” They started helping large families quite recently.

VG: Are you from a big family?

HE: Compared to ours, no. I come from a family with four children: three sons and one daughter.

VG: How does the morning begin in your large family?

HE: Our new day begins very interestingly. Everyone is running around, getting ready to go to school, to work. There is, however, a slight inconvenience - there is only one restroom in our house. Sometimes a line forms near her, but I must say, this rarely happens. In the summer we will build another toilet with the boys.

VG: Where do your children study?

HE: Everyone, without exception, studies in an Orthodox gymnasium. The eldest daughter Nina is studying at the seminary, and this was her desire. She decided for herself back in 9th grade that she would go there.

The eldest sons Ivan and Kostya still have a technical mindset. They both work on cars. They are repairing them.

VG: How did you choose names for your children?

HE: I gave the names (laughs). The wife named only one son, Dmitry. I tried to choose simple, euphonious Russian names. In general, it was like this for us: when my wife was in the maternity hospital, the older children and I thought and discussed different options, but in the end we settled on the name that I suggested. The wife, of course, offered her options, but it was too late.

VG: Who did you want most, boys or girls?

HE: We didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. We were glad to see everyone.

VG: Who cooks the food? How many liters of borscht do you have to cook?

HE: When the children were little, both my wife and I cooked. It also happened that children got used to what I cooked and refused to eat anything else. Why this was so I don’t know. Now the girls have become adults and they are cooking for our entire horde. But I also help them, sometimes I cook.

Nina : Of course, we are different from a family with one or two children. We cook borscht in a 15-liter saucepan, for example, we buy dumplings or cutlets not in kilograms, but in boxes (laughs). And you have to stand at the stove not once a week, but three to four times a day.

VG: How do you celebrate holidays, for example, New Year?

Nina: On holidays, we traditionally gather with the whole family around a large table. When my mother was alive, she gave each person a separate gift. And this year we gave everyone one big surprise, we put them in a big bag of sweets, it was a gift. In the evenings, we gather with the whole family by the fireplace, talk to the crackling of logs, and drink tea.

VG: Oleg, did someone help you and your wife raise your children?

HE: What are you saying, no, we didn’t have any helpers. My wife and I raised everyone ourselves, raised them to their feet, taught them. After all, we gave birth for ourselves, and not for someone else. Yes, we have no grandparents, they all died long ago.

VG: Is it difficult for you financially?

HE: Of course, we do not live without difficulties. Sometimes financially it can be difficult. But we're coping. We saved up some money to cover the outside of the house and insulate it. Last year we invited independent experts, which calculated that our big house It costs 500 thousand rubles to insulate and replace the roof. Despite this amount, we will purchase the materials ourselves.

VG: Oleg, what else do you do besides raising children?

HE : Housework and raising children take up a lot of time. For several years we had a home kindergarten, our children were his pupils. There I worked as a junior teacher. Then we were forbidden to do this. Now we live on child benefits and a survivor's pension. A month turns out to be about 50 thousand rubles. I will turn 60 in March and retire. Plus, the older sons help.

VG: Do local authorities help you in any way?

HE: The authorities are helping our family. For example, in 2010 they gave us a Gazelle car. The house we live in now was also purchased with the help of government officials. The house is large with high ceilings, a large kitchen and four rooms. I think that in the summer I will make another spacious living room. There used to be a veranda there, but I want to convert it into a warm, cozy room. We also have a large vegetable garden.

VG: Now you live in spacious house. Where did you live before?

HE: For a long time we lived on the upper colony in a house where there were only 35 square meters of living space, with small rooms and a small garden of six acres. That house was old and very worn out; it was built back in the 50s of the last century. Despite the fact that the house was small, all our children were born in it.

VG: Oleg, and finally, would you like to wish anything to young parents?

HE: I wish only one thing: love your children and don’t be afraid to give birth.