Which gesture of appreciation is classic. The meaning of gestures of appreciation. Nonverbal Communication Etiquette

In order to resolve a conflict, it must first be analyzed, i.e.:

Understand what is happening;

Find out the nature of the conflict;

To resolve a conflict.

X. Cornelius and S. Fair proposed using a “conflict map” for this

The map helps us see and analyze what we could simply not pay attention to. When people go traveling, they always take a map with them. It’s the same in a conflict: a map will help facilitate its resolution.

Its essence is as follows:

Define the conflict problem in general outline. Describe the problem in one sentence. Don't try to immediately find a way out, just focus your attention on the most important thing. Try not to express the problem in polar terms, this will give you the opportunity to consider options for solving the problem more broadly.

Find out who is involved in the conflict ( individual employees, groups, departments or organizations);

Identify the true needs and concerns of each of the main parties to the conflict. It is known that in any conflict the following often happens: a person presents one problem (either one that comes to hand, or one that looks “beautiful”), while deep down the problem is completely different. It is important to find out the true motivation behind the participants' positions on this issue. People want to get what satisfies their needs and avoid what interferes with this.

Needs. In a broad sense, this is everything that is important to a person. You can set leading question, which will help determine the need of the interlocutor: “You think that I should do this and that. What will this give you?” The answer to this question can provide information about a person's unspoken needs.

Concerns. They are also very important to take into account. Our fears are both rational and irrational. But this does not make them any less significant. And when you acknowledge the concerns, you can already work with them. For example, if a person says that he does not tolerate disrespect, rather than that he needs respect. So what are people afraid of?

Humiliation.

Failure.

Financial collapse.

To be rejected or unloved.

Lose control of the situation.

Loneliness.

Criticism and condemnation.

To lose a job.

Inability to provide for one's livelihood and one's family.

Boring work.

Fears that you will have to start all over again.

List the needs and concerns of all parties. At this stage, it is necessary to work only with these categories, and not give ready-made answers. It is important that responses identify real needs and concerns. This map can be used as a tool for working with conflict. In any case, conflict is much easier to prevent than to deal with it. Similar cards can be used:

When making plans;

If difficulties arise at work;

In preparation for negotiations;

At planning meetings.

In any case, the map allows you to see the real prospects for the development of the situation. Apply it to actual situations. Identifying a problem helps you think about it and somehow solve it. Determine what needs are hidden behind people's demands. When working with a map, look for “points of contact”: common interests, common needs. These are precisely the factors that can become a common platform in the future.

As you know, people behave differently in a conflict situation. Scientists have identified six main motives with which people interact:

1 The motive for maximizing the total gain (or the motive for cooperation).

2 The motive of maximizing one's own gain (or individualism).

3 The motive for maximizing relative gain (competition).

4 The motive of maximizing the gain of another (altruism).

5 The motive for minimizing the gain of another (aggression).

6 The motive for minimizing differences in winnings (equality).

If the motives for communication coincide or naturally complement each other, then the contacts of such people will be most successful. There are obviously “losing” motives from the point of view of successful communication. Here we can, of course, highlight aggression and individualism, which ignore the interests of the communication partner. In accordance with the motives, the features of the behavioral strategy can be identified.

Drawing up such a map, according to experts, will allow:

1 limit the discussion to a certain formal framework, which will greatly help to avoid excessive expression of emotions, since people can restrain themselves while drawing up a map;

2 create the opportunity to jointly discuss the problem, express to people their demands and desires;

3 understand both your own point of view and the point of view of others;

4 create an atmosphere that allows you to see the problem through the eyes of other people and acknowledge the opinions of people who previously believed that they were not understood;

5 choose new ways to resolve the conflict.

But before you move on to resolving the conflict, try to answer next questions:

Do you want a favorable outcome?

What you need to do to better control your emotions;

How would you feel if you were the conflicting parties?

Is a mediator needed to resolve the conflict?

In what atmosphere (situation) people could open up better, find mutual language and develop your own solutions.

Consists of 9 people and only women. The head of the department is I.G. Spiridonova. - a woman of middle (pre-retirement) age who has been working in this organization for a long time and successfully copes with her responsibilities.

A new employee, N.N. Grigorieva, joined the department not long ago (about a year). - a young, pretty woman who is graduating. Her arrival was greeted quite friendly by all employees of the department and, first of all, by the chief, who has a daughter of the same age.

Head of department Spiridonova I.G. for some time she “motherly” looked after the new employee, but then there was a turning point in their relationship, and for reasons incomprehensible to N.N. Grigorieva. For some reason, the relationship deteriorated sharply. Spiridonova I.G. began to constantly find fault with N.N. Grigorieva, trying to humiliate her as a person, and did not allow her to work in peace. For Grigorieva, the question arose: what to do and should she move to work in another department?

Other employees of the department did not outwardly react to the situation. By its nature, Spiridonova I.G. A fairly powerful person, he has been in a leadership position for a long time.

Let's make a map of this conflict (Fig. 1).

SPIRIDONOVA
needs: concerns: loss of control,
respect for subordinates precedent independent decision from a subordinate
Problem: complex relationship between Spiridonova and Grigorieva
GRIGORIEV DEPARTMENT STAFF
needs: concerns: needs: concerns:
self-realization Be unprofessional, incapable of this job Social Disruption of normal relationships
creative work And
independence)

The participants in this conflict are: Spiridonova, Grigorieva and employees of the department. The main problem lies in the relationship between the boss and the subordinate. The needs and concerns of each party are presented in Fig. 1

We draw a conclusion about the basis of the contradictions or the subject of the conflict.

Item: the impossibility of simultaneously satisfying Spiridonova’s need for respect (since she reacted harshly to all Grigorieva’s attempts to show independence in completing her tasks, despite the fact that all approaches in this department were determined by the boss) and Grigorieva’s need for self-actualization (since she continued to demonstrate independence, despite the boss’s harsh assessment of her independence). Many specialists involved in conflict resolution professionally know that the process of conflict management depends on many other factors, many of which are difficult to control. For example, personal views, motives and needs of individuals, groups, environmental factors. Established stereotypes, ideas, prejudices, biases, if they are not taken into account in management, can sometimes negate the efforts of those who develop decisions. Depending on the type of conflict, different services can search for solutions: the management of the organization, team members, personnel management service, department of psychologist and sociologist, trade union committee, strike committee, police, courts.


Other factors can be divided into 3 groups:

1. Factors contributing to the development of negative emotions in the relationship between the parties. These include conflict-generating personal characteristics of behavior (for example, selfishness, aggressiveness, pedantry, unpleasant manners, incompatibility of manners, views, cultures, experience, etc.). In our example, this is Spiridonova’s authoritarianism, rigidity and critical attitude, while Grigorieva’s is inattentive to her boss’s instructions and strives to complete tasks independently.

2. The ability to actively creatively influence conflict

3. Availability of management resources

The first condition requires time to fulfill. This means that management without analysis becomes less effective or only creates the appearance of conflict management, but in fact transfers the conflict to a hidden state, preserving its basis. To improve the quality of management, this process cannot be started without carrying out research. During this period, only regulation to limit

SPIRIDONOVA concerns:
needs: loss of control
respect for subordinates B to be criticized
RELATIONSHIPS
GRIGORIEV DEPARTMENT STAFF
needs: concerns: needs: concerns:
self-realization violation of dignity normal relationship
interesting job impossibility
independence work fine

Participants in this conflict and are: Spiridonova, Grigorieva and employees of the department. The main problem lies in the relationship between the boss and the subordinate. The needs and concerns of each party are presented in Fig. No. 3

Many permitting professionals conflicts professionally that process management conflicts depends on many factors, many of which are difficult to control. For example, personality views, motives and needs of individuals, groups. Established stereotypes, perceptions, prejudices, prejudices can sometimes nullify the efforts of those who develop solutions. Depending on the type conflict and different services can search for solutions: the management of the organization, the personnel management service, the department of psychologist and sociologist, the trade union committee, the strike committee, the police, the courts.

Conflict psychologists suggest the following: conflict resolution rules:

1) identify the subject and source of the conflict;

2) find out the main problem of the conflict (mutual hostility, business rivalry or just envy, etc.); do not expand the subject of the conflict, reduce the number of claims (especially emotional nature);

3) it is necessary to know how the conflict develops. It goes through three stages: a) the emergence of tension in relationships; b) termination of personal relationships; c) resolving the conflict using one of the following methods: “escape” from the conflict (flight to illness, dismissal, etc.); smoothing (reconciliation); confrontation (transition to a new phase and new level); compromise (mutual concessions);

4) it is necessary" to carefully consider both conflicting parties - the "initiator" and the "accused"; you need to find out what the "initiator" of the conflict is seeking, what his goals are (business, personal, the desire to humiliate a person). The "initiator" must necessarily offer a positive solution to the conflict, and not just punishing the “accused”;



5) the manager needs to “correctly” assess both sides of the conflict; there should be no winners and losers (so that the conflict does not develop further);

6) one cannot overestimate the merits of some and underestimate the merits of others; you cannot constantly encourage some, punish others all the time and not notice others at all;

7) the leader needs to remember that each person is an individual, and therefore one must be able to take the place of another person, and not look at everything “from one’s own bell tower”;

8) the closer the leader’s relationship with the group, the more difficult it is in a conflict situation, so he should not develop purely personal attachments in the team he leads;

9) there is no need to try to completely remake or re-educate another person (this is a thankless task, especially if the person is an established personality)! It is better to engage in self-education and psychological analysis of your own behavior;

10) It is useful for a manager to accumulate positive knowledge about subordinates, rather than strengthen negative impressions by constantly remembering negative qualities and actions;

11) in social group the leader needs to monitor the flow of information and prevent its distortion in relation to group members. The birth of rumors usually excites people and causes unnecessary conflicts. In case of complaints against a subordinate, it is best for a manager to calmly, privately talk to him and find out everything before bringing accusations to the “high podium”;

12) it is absolutely necessary for every leader to remember that the group unites men and women who have purely male and female psychological characteristics and logic. For example, feminine logic characterized by intuitiveness, associated with specific situations and associations. Male logic is based on precise calculation, comparison of facts, logical analysis and a rational approach.

Professional conflictologists believe that the process of conflict management depends on many factors, most of which are difficult to manage. These factors include: personal views, motives and needs of individuals and groups; established stereotypes, prejudices, ideas, preconceptions. All of them can undermine the efforts of those who develop solutions in the field of conflict management. The search for such solutions can be carried out by different services: the management of organizations, the personnel management service, the department of psychologist and sociologist, the trade union committee, the police, the courts.

Happens at every step. Some have a logical explanation, others occur for unknown reasons, causing misunderstanding on both sides. By turning to you, you can creatively identify all the hidden motives and true causes of any existing or impending conflict.

Concept

Cartography of conflict is psychological method, which helps to understand the causes of conflict behavior and situations. This method is called cartography, because all the information entering the brain can be organized in it, like countries on geographical map peace.

The essence of the method

The conflict mapping method consists of several stages, which are carried out using graphic image analyzed data. The design can be anything, from a regular table to a colorful diagram. You can also choose between a regular notepad and an electronic editor.

Each stage is aimed at identifying true reasons conflict, formulating the main problems, identifying concerns and claims. This should ultimately lead to the conflict being settled.

Phased and detailed analysis will help one party understand the nature of their behavior as clearly as possible and convey it to the second party to the conflict. The same is true and vice versa - if the opponent can successfully analyze existing problems, he will be able to rationally explain this to you.

In what cases can conflict mapping help?

This psychological technique suitable for resolving existing conflicts as well as emerging ones. Such cases include situations in which the partners' tension becomes obvious, but no one has yet expressed their dissatisfaction and complaints. It's a matter of time, a kind of time bomb. To avoid unpleasant consequences, stands on initial stage try to prevent the approaching conflict situation.

This method is also used to select the right decision in a complex life situation. Any tasks and decisions that may affect your future life often cause doubts and uncertainty. To decide on the right choice, you can refer to this method.

Analysis of a conflict using the cartography method can be carried out either by one person or with the help of everyone who is involved in it and is interested in its speedy end. The participation of all parties will help to take a more detailed look at all components of the conflict. While a single analysis can only create guesses as to what motivates another person.

Stage one. Identifying the main problem

If the reasons are not always hidden on the surface, then the very essence of the problem is usually obvious. To begin with, you should voice it and give it a name of a few words. The initial stage is not designed for an in-depth analysis of the problem, searching for causes and solutions. Even if you cannot immediately identify clear difficulties, you can turn to a generalized form, but try to be more specific.

An example of conflict mapping at the first stage can be any life sphere. If conflict occurs in a romantic relationship, the problem may be called a "misunderstanding." If a couple is fighting over cleaning the house, the problem can be labeled as "sharing of household chores." If the conflict occurs with your boss because he does not give you a more serious and significant project, the problem may sound like “lack of professional skills.”

Stage two. Identifying the Persons Involved

It is necessary to identify every person who is related to the conflict. This can be either one person or a whole group of people. If the number turns out to be impressive, for convenience everyone can be divided into categories, depending on the importance of each person.

For example, cartography of pedagogical conflict on at this stage may include several groups. The conflict could have occurred either through the fault of only two teachers, or with the participation of outsiders. This could include students or a supervisor. educational institution. In this case, all participants should be divided into categories: the main person is another teacher, secondary people are the director and students. It is worthwhile to sign each group member if necessary.

Stage three. Determining needs

At this stage of conflict mapping, it is necessary to identify the needs and doubts of each stakeholder regarding the current problem. Each person may have different needs, these include: the desire to be heard and recognized, career growth, respect from colleagues, mutual understanding with loved ones, interesting activities, receiving awards and in general everything that in one way or another has value and significance for an individual .

To find out the needs of each participant, it is worth asking the following questions:

  • Given the current situation, what are your needs?
  • What do you want?
  • What are you still missing?

After each the question asked, to which there is an answer, ask:

  • Why do you want it?
  • For what?

Once the needs of each participant have been identified, it is worth finding out about fears by asking questions:

  • What is confusing you?
  • What are you afraid of?
  • And why?

Each identified need and concern should be recorded in the appropriate column.

Stage four. Analysis of the work done

Once on last stage cartography of the conflict, many notice that the experiences or needs are the same for both participants, even if it is not one person, but a whole group. Any similar answers should be highlighted, this will make it clear that both conflicting parties are able to understand each other.

  • Pay attention to what has become for you new information, previously unknown.
  • Find common needs that will serve as a fulcrum.
  • Highlight similar interests and values ​​shared by all stakeholders.
  • Find things that can be changed in positive side, which will ultimately lead to the agreement of both parties.
  • Synthesize individual values ​​into shared interests. For example, a manager needs a daily completed plan, while an employee needs outdoor recreation to replenish energy. Both of these moments can be combined in one working day.
  • Highlight the most problematic areas of the conflict, considering and voicing all possible options for eliminating this problem.
  • Pay attention to those needs and doubts that come as a surprise to you. Think about what you can do with them.
  • Determine the reward that both parties will receive if the conflict is resolved. Let’s say that if the husband stops smoking in the apartment, the air will become cleaner and more fragrant.

Analyze each response received, discussing it and possible solutions with the other interested party.

Our situation

Economic department joint stock company consists of 9 people and only women. The head of the department is I.G. Spiridonova. - a woman of middle (pre-retirement) age, who has been working in this organization for a long time and successfully copes with her responsibilities.

A new employee, N.N. Grigorieva, joined the department not long ago (about a year). - a young, pretty woman who is finishing economic institute. Her arrival was greeted quite friendly by all employees of the department and, first of all, by the boss, who has a daughter of the same age.

Head of department Spiridonova I.G. For some time she “motherly” looked after the new employee, but then there was a turning point in their relationship, and incomprehensible to N.N. Grigorieva. For some reason, the relationship deteriorated sharply. Spiridonova I.G. began to constantly find fault with N.N. Grigorieva, trying to humiliate her as a person, and did not allow her to work in peace. For Grigorieva, the question arose: what to do and should she move to work in another department?

Other employees of the department did not outwardly react to the situation. By its nature, Spiridonova I.G. A fairly powerful person, he has been in a leadership position for a long time.

Let's make a map of this conflict (Fig. 1).

SPIRIDONOVA
needs: concerns: loss of control,
respect for subordinates precedent for an independent decision by a subordinate
Problem: complex relationship between Spiridonova and Grigorieva
GRIGORIEV DEPARTMENT STAFF
needs: concerns: needs: concerns:
self-realization Be unprofessional, incapable of this job Social Disruption of normal relationships
creative work and
independence)

The participants in this conflict are: Spiridonova, Grigorieva and employees of the department. The main problem lies in the relationship between the boss and the subordinate. The needs and concerns of each party are presented in Fig. 1

We draw a conclusion about the basis of the contradictions or the subject of the conflict.

Item: the impossibility of simultaneously satisfying Spiridonova’s need for respect (since she reacted harshly to all Grigorieva’s attempts to show independence in completing her tasks, despite the fact that all approaches in this department were determined by the boss) and Grigorieva’s need for self-actualization (because she continued to show independence, despite the boss’s harsh assessment of her independence).

Many specialists involved in conflict resolution professionally know that the process of conflict management depends on many other factors, a significant part of which is difficult to control. For example, personal views, motives and needs of individuals, groups, environmental factors. Established stereotypes, ideas, prejudices, biases, if they are not taken into account in management, can sometimes negate the efforts of those who develop decisions. Taking into account the dependence on the type of conflict, different services can be involved in the search for solutions: the management of the organization, team members, personnel management service, department of psychologist and sociologist, trade union committee, strike committee, police, courts.

Other factors can be divided into 3 groups:

1. Factors contributing to the development of negative emotions in the relationship between the parties. These include conflict-generating personal characteristics of behavior (for example, selfishness, aggressiveness, pedantry, unpleasant manners, incompatibility of manners, views, cultures, experience, etc.). In our example This is Spiridonova’s authoritarianism, rigidity and critical attitude, while Grigorieva’s is inattention to her boss’s instructions and desire to complete tasks independently.

2. Factors that reduce the ability to logically comprehend the content of the conflict, ᴛ.ᴇ. Why didn’t they exchange their views on the situation and work through it logically, determining ways out of the situation? . We have this is Spiridonova’s lack of desire to engage in a detailed discussion of her demands, an orderly tone, a habit of unquestioning submission to her subordinates, and for Grigorieva this is her inexperience in office relations, attitude to work as a process independent of anyone and as a creative process.

3. Typical difficult situations where the collision occurs(behavioral factors ). In our this situation situations of irritation of Spiridonova when Grigorieva introduces creative variety into the execution of tasks that are common in form for all employees.

Further resolution conflict is the elimination in whole or in part of the causes that gave rise to the conflict, or a change in the goals of the parties to the conflict, then this is work to eliminate the subject of the conflict, taking into account actions that block the influence of other factors.

Resolution becomes possible only when executing 3 conditions, creating the opportunity to manage conflict:

1. Availability of an objective analysis of the conflict

2. The ability to actively creatively influence conflict

3. Availability of management resources

The first condition requires time to fulfill. This means that management without analysis becomes less effective or only creates the appearance of conflict management, but in fact transfers the conflict into a hidden state, preserving its basis. To improve the quality of management, one cannot begin this process without carrying out research. During this period, only regulation becomes possible to limit the dynamics of the development of the conflict.

An example of a conflict map - concept and types. Classification and features of the category "Example of a conflict map" 2017, 2018.



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