How to return the cooled feelings. How to return the feelings of a man. How to return old feelings: men answer

The human psyche adapts over time to any events and emotions. Therefore, over time, love and passion become more familiar, and if they are fed with anything, feelings can fade away. And then living together becomes rather dull and bleak. You do not want to part with your loved one, but you are not ready to put up with the cooling that has occurred, so it's time to start reviving past emotions.

How to return cooled feelings

Don't want to miss the chance happy life, to lose the love that brought joy, to put up with the fact that even if he does not go anywhere, but more and more withdraws into himself and moves away, it's time to prepare for changes in his life. Otherwise, without reciprocity, passion, love, life will turn into a painful pastime, because it is unlikely that you will accept it calmly and continue to live as if nothing had happened. Everyone wants love and passion, warmth and care, to see the eyes of a loved one burning with love and to feel his love and admiration.

Feelings tend to become less strong in any situation, even if people live in harmony, do not try to correct the other, impose their own rules and requirements. Due to the peculiarities of the human psyche, physiology, the body tries to save its strength for the sake of survival. When people fall in love and begin to live together, after some time, as soon as they get to know each other better, the passion goes away, otherwise their psyche simply cannot withstand such heat as at the very beginning of the relationship.

And at this moment, many habits that at first did not cause any emotions and could even touch, because the desire to be near overshadowed everything, begin to annoy. And if you can’t cope with yourself, don’t change your attitude towards them, stop reacting too negatively, it’s unlikely that you will be able to save or return your feelings back. In a relationship where negativity prevails, and not mutual respect, love, support and understanding, this is impossible.

To save feelings or return them, your relationship should not be filled with indifference, habit and fatigue, but with warmth that warms both, helps to overcome life's difficulties, solve tasks, achieve goals. Both of them should be comfortable. They must stop being a battlefield where everyone dreams of defeating the other and turning him into that ideal person for himself, who does and does everything that the partner wants. It is impossible to change a person when he himself does not want it.

Everyone has their own characteristics unique features, they are incomprehensible to others, but this does not mean that they are bad. loving person accepts a partner with them, because they are an integral part of him. He recognizes the right of the chosen one to have own view on what is happening, habits, dreams, desires and behavior. Does not criticize, does not mock, does not compare with others. If you did this, albeit not on purpose, it's time to stop, abruptly and now. It is difficult, habits are a strong thing, but there is no other way. So control yourself if you want to give him another example of someone successful so that he also tries to become the same.

Let some of his habits cause bewilderment, but think about whether they greatly affect your life. Is it really worth risking relationships and killing feelings that still remain because of them. When a woman tries to get rid of what irritates her in her chosen one with the help of claims, insults, demands, reproaches, it is not surprising that he perceives this as aggression, rejection of him. This fight is obviously losing for both sides, even if someone gives in, it is unlikely that this will make him happy, and he will be able to keep love. By destroying the individuality of the other with the help of constant criticism, the chosen one risks exceeding the number of good memories and moments that connect them, and finally destroying the last chance to return everything.

If you feel like you want to again break into the socks scattered around the house or the garbage that was not taken out, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it is important for you to return the atmosphere of love in the house, and not to force him to clean up after himself.

If you do not hate him, you cannot call him a tyrant or a bad person, think about whether it is worth risking what you have, is it so terrible? If not, then your love has not died out yet, it has only subsided a little and it is worth trying to wake it up. And believe me, these efforts will not be in vain!

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How to return the feelings of a man

• It is impossible to revive past feelings in an atmosphere of distrust, resentment, discontent and suspicion. Eliminate them from your communication and behavior, although this is not easy. It will not be possible to quickly change the situation that has developed over the past years, most likely, the problems, grievances, misunderstandings, claims, unspoken and unheard reproaches, requests and wishes that have accumulated over the years have already done harm, overshadowing the memories of your first meeting, the period of courtship. So find a way to remember them.
• Arrange an evening of memories or, discuss them at dinner, instead of another conversation about problems and troubles. Let something urgently need to be done, find a moment when you can not talk about what you need, talk about something pleasant, about the first date.
• Since the cooling was preceded by unpleasant events, memories, bitter words spoken in the heat of a quarrel that inflicted their wounds, many of them most likely have not yet healed, otherwise he would not have become indifferent, they will have to accelerate the healing process. And you can do this with the help of a pleasant joint pastime.

• Try to laugh together as often as possible. Find topics or memories that will make both of you smile, or better yet, laugh heartily. Watch together a comedy, a humorous program, cartoons, funny videos on the Internet. Nothing heals like laughter.
• Pick a place to meet. And go to him, as if you had just met. And do it more often. It is not necessary to go on a date to a restaurant, take a walk in the park, go to the museum, walk along the streets of the evening city.

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• May you be united again by pleasant memories that will displace the resentment and disappointment that both have accumulated. But don't rush things, don't wait drastic changes. It is unlikely that he will change quickly. After the feelings have faded, it is not easy to revive them and it will take a lot of time. Therefore, be patient and be prepared to calmly accept his surprise at the changes in your behavior until he believes that your attitude towards him has changed for the better.
• Diversify your usual communication. Introduce more unpredictability, activities that are interesting to both of you, so that he enjoys spending more time alone with you again.
• Be sure to deal with your grievances and claims against him, which are definitely sitting somewhere deep in your soul. Get rid of accumulated grievances, disappointments, to do everything with your soul, so that your eyes reflect the love you have for him and the desire to improve relations.
• Think about how you could offend him. This is necessary in order not to react like that again. And then, as soon as everything gets better, you will relax again, and since he remained the same person, he will continue to do what caused you complaints and resentment, and was the reason for quarrels. And all your efforts will go to waste. Because, having decided that you are now satisfied with what he does and accept him as he is, no longer demanding what he cannot and does not want to give, he will be severely disappointed when he hears again the same claims as before. And he won't believe you anymore.

• When it comes to preserving the family, do not give up if you decide to revive love. Now you are responsible not only for yourself, but also for the children, for whom it is very important when their mom and dad live in perfect harmony, this instills confidence in them, helps them feel safe. If the husband is still cold, talk heart to heart with him, without reproaches and claims, try to find something together that will help return love.

When feelings fade away, you can not lose heart and give up. Decided that you want to return them, so try to do everything in your power to make it happen. It doesn’t matter if it works out or not, it’s important that you know that you didn’t back down and resign yourself, but showed willpower and fought for your happiness. If all else fails, ahead of you is a meeting with someone with whom feelings will no longer fade away. If you managed to return love, rejoice, you managed to cope with a really difficult task.

Often, after a period of relationship, love disappears without a trace, and you begin to behave like strangers. Therefore, many girls want to know how to return a guy’s love for themselves. Sometimes, this is not possible. But there are situations when feelings can return. Especially if the martyr loves you deep down, you just provoked his cold attitude.

To begin with, do not try to solve the issue by force. Scandals like, "You don't love me" or "I'm like a prostitute to you" can only make things worse. It is best to resort to such methods as:

• Positive thinking. Be cheerful and he will start to treat you better;
• Absence of whims. Perhaps his dislike is provoked by whims on your part;
• Don't run after him. Do not try to annoy him and attract him to you;
• Talk about your feelings (unobtrusively). Say that you still love him;
• Start taking care of yourself, change your appearance for the better;
• Do something unexpected, like a romantic walk in an unusual place.

The main task is to make the guy understand that you still need him, and you are not for him. bad option. If everything goes well, then return the love young man succeed.

How not to return the love of a guy?

Many girls panic, realizing that their beloved has cooled off. After all, the next step may be parting. Some girls begin to “nag” guys, trying to tie them to themselves. But this can backfire.

The same applies to various black magic. First, most psychics are charlatans. And secondly, many love spells and spells can seriously harm both your boyfriend and you.

Don't be a spy. Do not follow him, do not try to understand what is the reason for his coldness. If you start to be jealous and suspicious, then he will get angry and will definitely leave.

In addition, do not use the advice of parents, girlfriends, acquaintances, etc. Few people will truly enter into your situation. Some recommendations may be stupid, pointless, and even harmful. Try to think exclusively for yourself.

Why do guys stop liking girls?

This phenomenon occurs frequently. It is quite natural for society. And its reasons may be:

1. your bad behavior;
2. Boredom in a relationship
3. Pressure from your relatives;
4. Initial lack of love;
5. Cheating with another girl;
6. Resentment against you for some reason.

It is worth remembering that if he did not love you initially, but only pretended, then it is better not to return the guy's love. It's useless. In other situations, it is worth starting a fight.

If his coldness is caused by betrayal, this is not always hopelessness. Perhaps he loves you, he just went "to the left" once, and now he repents. It is not worth burning bridges in such a situation.

In most cases, the girls themselves are to blame. In the first period of a relationship, ladies show themselves with better side making you fall in love with yourself. And then, they demonstrate the true essence, which you don’t really want to love. So, the search for the cause must be carried out from oneself.

Love and reality

AT real life almost every second couple breaks up, and every 3-4 marriage ends in divorce. You should not be killed if you could not return the guy's love and he left. Find yourself someone better than this.

Do not try to make yourself a victim, a heroine, a martyr. Often, love and sexual attraction to the person passes by itself. And you can also fall out of love with someone. This is not a heavy cross and not an evil rock.

Try to look for those guys who really appreciate you. Do not chase the "alpha males" and "heroes of the school." Then the risk of losing romance in a relationship will be minimal.

To learn how to return a guy's love to you, you need to start with introspection. The next step is to think about root causes. Try to apply your own knowledge more than the experience of others. And then, you will be able to restore the relationship, returning the former ardor.

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Instruction

If you are faced with the fading of feelings, and cannot cope with it on your own, it is recommended to contact family psychologist who will be able to competently and objectively assess your level of relationship and help correct some common mistakes. Never close your eyes to family problems in the hope that they will disappear on their own - if you do not solve them, they will only get worse, and will affect your relationship in a negative way. Therefore, do not hesitate to ask specialists for qualified help if you feel that you are unable to deal with the problem.

If the reason for the decline in feelings was a banal life that led to stagnation in relationships, try to revive the relationship by introducing an element of surprise into them. Get your partner to experience a powerful surge of feelings and new experiences - this will disrupt the measured course of things and have a beneficial effect on your mutual feelings X.

Organize a joint trip to nature, an extreme trip to another country, jump with a parachute, take part in original game- for example, in search of treasures in the dungeons of your city. All this will refresh your feelings and give them a sense of novelty.

Watch your behavior - relationships need to be protected, which means you need to protect and respect your partner. Avoid causeless jealousy, grouchiness, negative emotions, aggressive attacks on a man. Your society must be for a partner the best way take a break from everyday worries, and it should not make you want to run away from you to hell.

If you feel irritated by your partner's usual habits and lifestyle, try to accept him for who he is, just as he accepts you. Do not try to make your partner the ideal spouse you have always dreamed of - enjoy the fact that you are in front of another person who has a lot of unknown traits and mysteries, and you have to discover them.

Accept his negative traits and try to smooth them out with his virtues, of which you will find many. If the irritation is so great that there is no hope in the family for the further restoration of harmonious relations, soberly think about whether it is worth living with this person in the future.

In the life of any couple, sooner or later there comes a moment when the feeling of falling in love begins to fade away. This downturn doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is over - you may just need to get through a temporary relationship crisis and try to support mutual love by restoring the harmony of relationships and living together.

Instruction

Work out together interesting things, share your thoughts about certain hobbies, read books, go to theaters and museums, watch interesting movies together. On holidays or weekends, go to nature together and have a romantic picnic.

Again let your partner feel that you appreciate them and that your relationship is important to both of you. Take care of your love and regularly demonstrate warm feelings towards your loved one. feelings.

Health 27.09.2015

Dear readers, today on my blog I have a topic that probably excites many of us: how to return the old feelings and relationships. How often do we remember romantic meetings, and then, having lived for a while, everything goes somewhere. Problems, worries, everyday life, finances, and now something is happening in the family ... Do you know the situation? I think, if you honestly answer this question, then each of us will say: "Familiar." Maybe there are happy families who manage to avoid this, but I personally have not met such families.

And at every stage of our relationship, it is not easy to return cooled feelings, to breathe a new, fresh stream into them. In my opinion, this is still more the work of a woman. We are endowed with sincerity, touching, we can understand a lot, forgive, we always want something new. Woman - Violin and rod Men - for me that's how they see family relationships. And that's what Work is. I suggest that today we read, think, reflect, reflect and just work. Aren't we gladdened by the prospects of new relationships?

I myself am not a psychologist, but I really like such topics, read something and the most important thing, then do something, namely, apply a lot of what I read. Today, on the pages of my blog on the topic of the return of cooled feelings, psychologist Olga Tovpeko will reflect and share her thoughts. I give her the floor.

How to return the cooled old feelings and relationships?

Good afternoon, I am very pleased that Irina invited me to visit her blog. I hope that the conversation will be useful and interesting to many. Let's look at a typical female story...

“We come home from work, I run to the kitchen and start preparing dinner quickly. Then I take care of the children, and my husband, tired, sits down at a computer or tablet to read the news ... And so every day ... Sometimes I find myself thinking that all our communication comes down to solving household issues or discussing children's problems. There was no romance left in the relationship, no former interest. But once we could talk all night long about everything! .. "

Are you familiar with the situation when the relationship fades? When do they lose their taste and excitement in a series of troublesome everyday life? When the soul becomes hurt and hurt: where did the romance go? When you look at wedding photos, you remember how it all began and you are amazed: is it really us? And so you want to return the old relationship, but how? And is it possible?

This problem - cold feelings and boredom in a relationship - can take a serious toll on them. After all, if we don’t get joy from relationships, then we can draw the most categorical conclusions: I’m not on my way with this person.

And this is not just a life observation. Statistics confirm that the main reason for divorces is not conflicts and quarrels, but, on the contrary, lost interest and almost no communication with each other. Research in Canada, based on a survey of several hundred couples, has confirmed that it is cold feelings and boredom that are the main reason why a marriage breaks up.

Bored in a relationship. What to do and how to return the old feelings?

If you are faced with this situation, then I have two news for you. One is good and the other is so-so (although the first is impossible without it!).

I'll start with the last one. Bad news lies in the fact that since all the mechanisms in relationships are launched from the female hand, then most of responsibility for the "fading" of relations lies with us.

The same circumstance gives us good news! If you understand the laws of relationships and manage them competently, then very soon they will sparkle with new colors, which means that you will feel loved and desired in them again!

If you've read this far, then you're ready for it! But in order to return the old relationship, first you need to figure out the reasons - how it happens that they begin to fade, become gray and boring ...

Let's go from the opposite. What did you get when there was brightness in your relationship? Feeling loved and desired. Feeling of understanding and unity. The opportunity to share your feelings and be accepted. You experienced different experiences and experienced intense emotions from the time spent together. Where did it all go?

There are 3 gradual reasons for the cooling of feelings

1. Unpreparedness for "grounding" . Any couple eventually moves to the stage of solving everyday issues. An apartment, a job, money, children and a heaped life - all this requires constant and daily “monitoring”, pragmatism and endurance. Were you ready for socks or gas prices to be the topic you discuss in bed before going to sleep?
An internal protest against the end of the courtship and the first romantic years is the first step towards boredom.

2. The second reason is perfectionism and high expectations . Because we were not fully accepted as children, we learned not to accept others. We build thousands beautiful pictures about what should be and how.
How should my husband react when I tell him about my experiences. How he should look, what and with what facial expression to answer. We are waiting for help and support, while remaining silent. We cannot humanly explain to our husband what is important for us to receive from him.

Detailed, detailed expectations - endless and exhausting - prevent us from getting closer to real person- to your own husband, to know and accept him for who he is. Learn how to properly convey to him what is important to us. Learn to listen to him and understand his needs.

3. A natural and direct consequence of constant expectations - displacement of responsibility . Therefore, the third reason is how much you know how to take care of yourself and realize yourself as a couple.

When we get into a relationship, we often subconsciously think, “Now I have someone to take care of me. Now you can relax!”
We expect a man to take care of us at all levels: on the bodily (to look after, give rest and preferably sponsor), on the emotional (understand and accept, support and admire), on the intellectual (start up interesting conversations, develop himself and entertain us).

And now the question. To what extent do you take care of yourself on all these levels?

• On the body: to what extent do you feed your body with the right food and give it care? To what extent do you give your body rest and weighted load?
• On the emotional : to what extent do you support, accept and understand yourself? Do you know what you want and where you are going? Do you accept your shortcomings and accept yourself as a whole person? Do you find timely support and comfort for the soul?
• On intellectual : to what extent do you develop yourself and realize your talents and abilities, plans and ambitions?

It is important to understand that it is our responsibility to satisfy the needs of our body and soul, intellect and spirit.

But what does boredom have to do with it and how can you return the old relationship?

Give me one more minute and I'll explain this relationship...Ready to hear the truth?
If you do not realize yourself at all these levels, then the husband will be guilty. This means that resentment will begin to appear, discontent will accumulate, and it will become more and more difficult for you to open up in a pair, to be sincere.

If you do not open up, then your relationship will very soon become superficial - they will revolve at the level of routine, daily bustle and slowly covered with dust. Intimacy will leave the relationship, and when this happens, boredom always appears on the threshold ...

Summing up, we come to the conclusion that boredom in a relationship is not just a sign that you have not gone to a cafe or traveled out of town for a long time. Believe me, you can go shopping together in Paris every weekend, or travel from one place on the planet to another, but boredom will follow you around.

Brightness and romance in relationships, their liveliness are not at all due to cheerful and colorful events (although they are also important!). They are connected with the closeness and depth of your relationship, with how much you realize yourself in them, how much you can be
yourself. And this is not possible if you live in resentment, claims and discontent ...

I emphasize once again that boredom in a relationship is the inability (or unwillingness) to be yourself, to talk about what you want, to express yourself the way you want, to share thoughts and plans, interests and desires.

Boredom is the closed oxygen in a relationship, when everyone is closed in something of their own, and there is no real, living flow of genuine and refreshing common - namely, closeness, interest and curiosity in each other's life.

How do we usually see the situation when our feelings cool down?

Misinterpreting the situation further exacerbates it. What are our thoughts when we get bored in a relationship? Usually we think that the reason is in him (my husband) or in her (my wife).

We perceive a partner as the source of all our joys and, accordingly, all misfortunes, losing sight of one small detail: routine is a natural part of our life, and boredom in a relationship is only a certain and natural stage. So it's not all that scary!

Understanding the laws of relationships, you can easily and beautifully use this difficult, but necessary stage to deepen relationships. Although many prefer it at this point to get out of them.

Let's move on to the answer to the main question: how to return cooled feelings to our relationship?

First of all, it is important to understand: relationships are “plastic material”, and the man in them quickly and sensitively reacts to our changes. Therefore, depending on how you change and open up, so will your relationship develop. And it's great that we can fix them only by changing ourselves, and not trying in vain to fix someone!

Algorithm of 5 steps, how to return the old relationship in a pair:

1. I cannot tell you directly: get rid of illusions, expectations and idealizations, because I understand that this is impossible. And then I offer you a healthy alternative: try to “unstick” your expectations and your real man. Separate your expectations from what it is. And to be curious: what drives him? What does he feel? How is he now? What does he want?

Change of focus of perception - a very healing remedy. When we get stuck on ourselves and in ourselves, we only fall into the trap of our own resentment, seeing everything in black: he simply does not love me. I'm sure it's not! Love is more than just the satisfaction of needs.

2. Ask yourself: what do i really want? What am I missing? What causes relationships to fade in my eyes? What would make them juicy and alive for me? Write it all down on paper, point by point, so that thoughts do not get confused in your head, so that you better understand yourself, figure out what you lack for happiness.

3. Now go through all the points. What a small but real step you can take to move towards a more joyful and fulfilling relationship? What can be done at the level of events (where to go, where to be), skills and abilities (what to do, how to do it), values ​​and interests (what unites us, in what we touch souls) can be done? Initiate one step for each item within the same week without delay.

4. Seize the right moment and try talking to your husband what is going on. Share your feelings (only without reproaches and claims), tell us what is important to you and what is missing.

Ask if he notices something similar in your relationship, how he feels. Perhaps the husband will say that for him everything is happening as usual, and he does not suffer from the fact that something is missing. In this case - don't be embarrassed - women are always more sensitive to details.

Offer your husband some specific and realistic idea that you think will freshen up the relationship, and ask him for help.

5. Learn to open up in relationships . You will say: yes, he just does not want to listen to me. He is only interested in the news... Maybe it is. However, the devil is in the details. For a conversation, choose the right moment and, most importantly, the right attitude. Often we are initially set up for disappointment and then build a conversation in such a way that this expectation is only justified. Start a discussion from the state “I am good, and you are good” and you will see that the man will not be indifferent.

Finally, I would like to add that relationships cannot remain boring if you start working on them - learn to be softer and more flexible, give up detailed expectations, start asking for help and support more and gladly accept them, be observant to yourself and your man.

Then the relationship turns first into a real intricate detective story, and then into an adventure novel, where you are no longer a passive observer, as before. You will discover so many new facets in your relationship that you will definitely not be bored!

Olga Tovpeko, candidate psychological sciences, author and head of the project "School of Psychology for Moms" mamaschool.info, author of trainings and psychological quests for moms.

I thank Olga for the information. It was very interesting for me to read everything. I think that the plan of action has already been outlined ....

My spiritual gift for today will be Secret Garden – Chaconne Secret Garden is an Irish-Norwegian duo. Classical pair - keyboards and violin. In the hands of these talented performers, true magic is born. Those who read our magazine "Fragrances of Happiness" probably remember my article "The Secret Garden of the Soul". I chose this composition in the article not by chance. Let's go back to the beginning of the article... Remember my words about the Violin Woman and the Pivot Man? I think that this duet is exactly like that.

I want us all to work on ourselves. Harmony in relationships, freshness, something new and pleasant. I hope this article helps us all.

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11 Mar 2016 at 22:00

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Tatiana
28 Sep 2015 at 23:05

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Elena
28 Sep 2015 at 18:59

The easiest way to return the feelings that once made you choose this particular person as your life partner is to return to the past. Your memories and feelings will help you with this. What you experienced when he first took your hand, asked you out, kissed you - all these feelings and circumstances serve as so-called psychological "anchors".

It can be tunes that you both loved, restaurants or public gardens where your first dates took place. Do not set yourself the task of resurrecting everything, try to observe what feelings you are experiencing now in the same circumstances. While looking at pictures of your first New Year or vacation together, stay together, tell each other how you feel and think about what you both miss.

Secret 2. Accept each other completely

With all the flaws and annoying habits. We know that there are no people without minuses. At first we do not notice them, because being in love blinds. But everyday life gradually opens its eyes and turns cute features into the horrors of being together. Much has long ceased to cause tides of tenderness, and over time it is more and more difficult to put up with something.

At first, we see only the good and love for it. However, those relationships that cannot be destroyed also develop happily because in them we know about the bad and accept it. How to do it? First, talk about it. Do not offend your partner, explain that you value his feelings, are grateful for them, but there is something that can be changed for the better. This will allow him to show his love without causing discontent. The more compromises you find, the less irritation will remain in your pair. What to fight and what not to pay attention to - you must solve these issues together, without emotions and mutual accusations.

Secret 3. Create something new

Walking into the past may not be enough. After all, the evening of memories will end, and you will have to return to everyday life. Life takes strength, and feelings fade. Years after they met, they begin to miss the feeling of novelty, which was so exciting and captivating at the beginning. In addition to memories of the past, you can come up with new traditions for your couple, creating pleasant events for both of you. the easiest way is to sit at home, at best you download a movie and watch it, sitting side by side.

But this will not resurrect the passion and those emotions that you want to experience again. Undoubtedly, any attempts to refresh relations, even perhaps not the most successful ones, are better than inaction. But it is more important to try to understand what you can give to each other here and now. The experience of breakups teaches us to appreciate what we have lost, and it is not only passion. After divorce former spouses are more likely to regret simple things like communication, care, ordinary human warmth. Try to understand without what in your partner you would be sad - this is what can become solid foundation for new order relations. Stronger, more serious and stable.

Secret 4. Become aware of changes in yourself

Longing for past feelings, we remember ourselves as the people we were. Although in reality the dissatisfaction concerns today. It is not always possible to immediately understand how people in a couple have changed, but the important thing is that it was the relationship that made them different. If you had a different husband, you wouldn't be what you are now. Growing up and wisdom is a necessary stage for a full life, otherwise we would all remain naive and infantile boys and girls. Remember that your baggage is partly the merit of the one who is nearby.

Secret 5. Miss each other

How long have you been bored? We were looking forward to the meeting, as then, for the first time, and shuddered from phone call. AT modern world it is difficult: the Internet and a bunch of useful gadgets create the illusion of full-fledged communication and presence. But real separation can still be arranged. At least agree that you will not bother each other and bother your partner for a while. Talk to each other only when you actually have something to say. Be a little further apart from each other.

Together with the channel's experts, we figure out what to do if the relationship is in crisis.