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Is it hard to start life from scratch. All start over. What do people who realize the need for life changes want? Most often these are desires

Life – interesting thing, but sometimes complex, parting and meeting, evil and good, love and hate, joy and sadness go hand in hand in it. But that's what makes life beautiful - its versatility. You won’t know, you won’t predict what awaits you in tomorrow - triumph or collapse. If in this moment you experience difficulties in life, you think that everything has lost its meaning, and you don’t know how to continue to live - try start life from scratch. Our tips will help you with this.

Leave the past in the past.

It often happens that a person, for various reasons, finds himself in difficult situations. Someone is going through a divorce, someone is the death of a loved one. Someone lost their job or property, became seriously ill, etc. Everyone's reasons are different. It is very hard to go through, but it has already happened, and nothing can be changed. It's already in the past. A series of cases led to the fall, so we need to learn the necessary lessons so as not to repeat the same mistakes in the future. Remember the saying:- What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Try to start life from scratch.

Of course, you will constantly analyze what happened, blame yourself or another person, or some external factors for what happened. Leave fruitless thoughts: " And if ..., then it was ...". Alas, the past has no subjunctive mood. No one is able to change past events, no one knows how it would be - better or worse for you, if events had happened differently. You yourself do not torture yourself, do not mentally return to the past, no matter how difficult it may seem. Learn to think positively and enjoy the little things in everyday life.

In order to start life from scratch, there is good training. It will help you set yourself up for positive thinking: try to remember every night before going to bed all the joyful emotions that you experienced over the past day.

Your main assets.

In order to start all over again, analyze what you have at the moment. Surely, the first answer is that nothing. But this is not the correct answer. You have lived for a number of years, you are no longer a helpless baby. You have experience, acquired professional knowledge and skills. And, taking this as a basis, you can make plans for the future.

Maybe you have some unnecessary things that you can profitably sell or save " for a rainy day”, because in order to start everything from the beginning, any penny counts. Perhaps you used to hold a high position or were a wealthy person, but during a difficult situation, when there is a question of survival, do not be afraid to take on at least some work.

You are trying to start life from scratch, but you are not alone. Look around, because you have relatives and close people, friends, colleagues, acquaintances. Do not hesitate to ask them for help, because someone will be able to give you advice, help your friends, business.

Communicate on the Internet, there are now many sites where people create groups based on professions or interests. Regardless of whether this communication is real or virtual, it will definitely give positive results. You will talk about your troubles (and psychologists advise you to do this, because then your problems will not seem so global to you) and you can meet people who will provide help when and from where you did not expect it at all.

In the end, for those who are trying to start all over again, various volunteer services or social programs that can help all those in need can be a huge support at first. various appeals. This and psychological help, and free legal advice, accommodation, meals, etc. Don't give up.

However, it is worth noting that when you are in an unbalanced state, you are vulnerable to various scammers. Be careful! Don't be afraid to take help from strangers, but check. And remember - no one will help you better than you can do it yourself.

There is no time for depression.

Without a doubt, failure in life leads to depression. Of course, it is necessary to suffer, but not for a long time, otherwise depression will drag you into a path of inaction, tears and neuroses. And then you need medical help.

Our body has an invaluable resource. But it must also be protected and protected in any difficult situations. Often during depression, a person tries to forget by taking alcohol. But this is a fruitless and terrible path, leading to nothing constructive. And to start life from scratch, you should not take him as a companion.

There is also this expression: If you think that everything is bad with you, find someone who is even worse and help him.". Double benefit in this advice. First, you will find out that everything is not so bad with you. Secondly, you will experience a sense of satisfaction due to the fact that you have helped someone who is even worse off.

In order to make it easier to start life from scratch and get your thoughts and body back in order after stress, do exercise. famous saying from ancient greece still relevant today: In a healthy body healthy mind» . And we need a healthy mind. In order not to be nervous anymore, throw out the burden of sad thoughts, decompose your thoughts " on the shelves and, in fact, start all over again. Find a sport according to your temperament and soul. Running, yoga, dancing, swimming, cycling, aggressive species sports ... There are a lot of options. Don't worry if your finances don't allow you to go to fitness centers. Charging and exercises are available to everyone. The main thing is not to be lazy. Set a goal, for example, to have perfect body and strive for it.

Be that as it may, exercise is very disciplined. Plus - during and after classes, the hormone endorphin or the hormone of joy, as it is otherwise called, is produced. After half an hour of exercise, the body produces this hormone for another 2 hours. In addition, endorphin gives strength to the body to resist stress, resistance to negative emotions and balance.

your perspectives.

Look at yourself and your problems with the eyes of an optimist. How many people get a chance to start over? For example, to do what before because of different reasons I couldn't do it, but I wanted to. Prove to everyone. Firstly. Himself, that it was not in vain that he was born into the world. Moreover, in a state of stress, talents that have been hidden up to this point are often revealed, developing into a hobby or a profession.

So how do you start life from scratch?

Set yourself a psychological point: believe in yourself, in your knowledge and abilities, your character. Start developing those skills that you feel are not enough for you. Don't be afraid to take risks. Get to know the world, the environment and yourself. Remember the expression: Better to do and regret than to regret and not do».

Be active and confident. Then you will surely be able to start new life even if it doesn't happen right away. The main thing is your focus on results and desire.
Remember the words of Richard Aldington: Life is a wonderful adventure, worthy of suffering and failure for the sake of success.».

Life is an interesting thing. She constantly tests us for strength and endurance. The weak become strong, the strong become weak, and the slackers go on discussing both.

Perhaps, in the life of every person there have been periods when one wanted to give up everything, cross out, erase, tear and, leaving, burn bridges behind oneself in order to start a new life. How to start life with clean slate when all meaning is lost and disappointment in life reaches its climax? Accept a series of dramatic changes!

REVOLUTION AND EVOLUTION

Changes of any nature can be either fast, hard, comprehensive - revolutionary, or soft, long, gradual - evolutionary. Of course, evolution is better than revolution in terms of change own life the same as in other areas.
Evolution is always less painful and destructive (both for the person himself and for those around him), but due to the fact that many people like to stretch their problems to the size of a catastrophe, it is often possible to solve them only in a revolutionary way. By analogy with the disease, we can say that as long as the life problem is small, it can be eliminated by taking pills, but if it is already life-threatening, a serious operation is needed.

IS IT EASY TO START FROM A BLANK SLEEVE?

To start life from scratch, sometimes you need completely minor changes, such as repairing an apartment, talking with a wise person, changing your image, or traveling to a country that you have long wanted to visit.

It happens that a new life begins imperceptibly as a result of the gradual development of personality and self-improvement. But most often, people need a quick and significant change in life circumstances, which is unlikely to happen by itself (or it will take another life).
As a rule, several cardinal changes or a complete change in lifestyle are required at once. To start living from scratch, you need to set yourself such a goal.
Unfortunately, there are people (and there are many of them) who live in ignorance or unwillingness to change something, even if life brings them nothing but suffering. Such people either consciously choose the path of torment, considering it the right one, or simply find and receive unhealthy pleasure or hidden benefit from their torment.

What do people who realize the need for life changes want? Most often these are such desires:

change job
break off relations or divorce if they are already in an unsuccessful marriage,
find love if you're lonely
create your own family
start living separately from their parents,
get well if seriously ill,
change your place of residence (move to another area of the city, city, country, continent),
drastically change the appearance (reset excess weight, become more masculine / feminine, etc.),
radically change internally (get rid of bad habits, negative thinking, negative traits character, and so on).

The problems that caused the desire to start life from scratch are different, they are special for each person (although they may be perceived by others as typical), but the ultimate goal is the same - a happy life.

Every person wants to be happy, the only difference is that some people expect happiness as a miracle and believe in such an opportunity for themselves, others always complain that they got an unfortunate fate and do not try to change anything, and still others believe in better life and create it with their own work.

ANALYSIS OF THE OLD AND DESIGN OF THE NEW LIFE

The Russian language is unusually rich in meanings. Very often, in words, set phrases, sayings and proverbs, answers to many complex life questions are hidden.

So the phrase “starting life from scratch” already contains the answer on how to do this: arm yourself with a blank sheet of paper and a pen. For what? In order to describe the desired new life and begin to turn the dream into reality.
There are no and cannot be universal recommendations on how to start life from scratch, but psychologists recommend adhering to the following algorithm of actions:

1. The very first and most important thing is to understand that it is time to start life from scratch, to dare it, overcoming fears and self-doubt. There is simply no other way but to gain courage and courage.

You need to pick up a blank sheet of paper and write the title "My new, happy life!"

2. Answer two questions:

What's stopping you from being happy?

Answers must be written one under the other in the left half of the sheet.

This question is easy to answer for most people. All that interferes is the pressing problems: an unloved job, loneliness, an unfaithful husband / wife, self-doubt, excess weight, lack of money, and so on.

You need to write down everything that comes to mind, and not only external interference, but also internal barriers. Then choose and emphasize the largest and generating other difficulties, life difficulties. It may be that there is only one main problem, and by pulling on it like a thread, it will be possible to unwind the whole tangle of troubles. If such a problem is found, it should be highlighted separately.

What will make me happy?

Write down the answers also in the column only on the right, opposite the first list.

When answering this question, you need to try to be as accurate as possible. If you need money, then how much, if a husband, then what kind, and so on.

The result will be two columns that are very similar in content, only the first will describe the problems, and the second will solve them. Perhaps one problem will have several solutions, or vice versa.

Decisions will be either cardinal, revolutionary or softer, evolutionary.

For example, an annoying girlfriend prevents you from living happily, constantly calling on the phone and talking for hours about your problems (as a result, things are not done, the mood is at zero, breakdowns at home and quarrels with them). For happiness, either a sharp and complete break in relations with a girlfriend (a cardinal measure) or a gradual reduction in the time of communication with her (a milder measure) is not enough.

3. Decide what a happy life is. Everyone has their own ideas about happiness, but, as a rule, it does not happen without health, material wealth and love. But the more precise the goal, the easier it is to strive for it, which is why it is necessary to describe the details of personal happiness.

You need to imagine, dream about how you want to live, and then write down or sketch all the desires on a piece of paper.

These dreams should not be sky-high, but achievable. When dreaming, to imagine is not what is accepted, it is fashionable to want in society, but what suits, complements, makes truly happy.

Can you imagine one day happy life and describe it: how it starts, what kind of people are nearby, what the day is filled with, what is the work schedule, what kind of rest, and so on.

In fact, the picture of a happy life is a set of answers to the question “What will make me happy?”, only not scattered, but integral.

FROM WORDS TO ACTIONS

After it becomes clear what needs to be got rid of for good and what needs to be brought into life so that it changes dramatically in better side need to take active steps.
Naturally, after the analytical work done, drawing up a picture of a happy life, building new plans, each person will have their own goals, but as an example, active actions will be described below to help start living differently:

change of thinking from negative to positive,
increased self-confidence, optimism,
taking responsibility for one's own life,
change living place,
change of circle of communication, environment,
change of activity or places of work,
change marital status,
acquiring a new hobby
image change, appearance,
getting rid of fears, complexes and other psychological problems,
resolution of health problems
getting rid of bad habits and addictions,
the acquisition of new, positive habits (walking in nature, reading, playing sports, living in the present and enjoying life, asking for forgiveness and forgiving, helping loved ones, others).

It is worth starting changes from the very main problem. For example, if life is poisoned by an unloved job, it is necessary, first of all, to change it, perhaps all other aspects of life will improve after that by themselves.

If it is difficult to start with radical changes, you can take on smaller ones, the main thing is to start.
The second important thing to remember is that major changes must be deliberate, not hasty. When you quit your job, it’s better to find another one in advance, or at least understand that you can find it. When leaving to live in another city, learn in advance and as much as possible about how people live there. When entering into a new relationship, take a closer look at your partner, and not through rose-colored glasses.

What else is extremely important to know and not forget when changing life is that any external changes impossible without internal transformations. Sometimes only inner work on oneself serves to change one's life.

For example, there is a huge difference when a person moves to a new place of residence due to the fact that he cannot be realized as a professional and another situation when he cannot hold on to any job due to an irresponsible attitude to work. In the first case, a person will move, find himself and live for a long time (maybe forever), and in the second he will move from place to place, not realizing that he needs to change not his job or place of residence, but himself.

Hence another important conclusion: you need to know what mistakes were made earlier in order not to repeat them in the future. At the same time, remember that no one is immune from mistakes. In a new life, they, too, may be, but they should not be taken as a failure, this is an experience and while it can still be corrected, this must be done immediately, without delaying or increasing the scale of the problems.

Spend time with "those" people.

You should not waste your life on those who squeeze all the juice out of you to the last drop. The one to whom you are dear, the one who wants you to have a place in his life, will always take care of you. And he will do everything to make you feel comfortable next to him.
It is worth remembering that Good friends- these are the people who stay with you even if your affairs are very, very bad, and not those who are eager to support you when everything is cool with you. Life is too short to waste your time on the wrong people.

Solve your problems, don't run from them.

Learn to take a hit of any strength. Go one on one with the problem and give it a heat, smash it to smithereens. Life does not tolerate the weak. So she teaches us, knocking us down until we adapt.

Of course, we will not be able to solve absolutely all problems, but to try to do something is within the power of everyone. We may have to fall more than once, but we fall only in order to rise.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Better to try and make a mistake than to do nothing at all. Whoever tries to be clever about learning from and learning from someone else's mistakes, remember that we only learn from our own mistakes, not from others.

Any failure can lead you to success, and any success is fraught with traces of past failures.

Don't try to imitate someone.

Be yourself. This world drives everyone to dance to the same tune, trying to make sure that no one is any different from each other. So most people work hard to be like their idols, acquaintances or whatever.
Everyone has their own life. Yes, someone will always be more beautiful than you, someone younger, and someone smarter, but all of them will never be you. Someone who cherishes you will always love you for who you are. Therefore, do not try to change yourself to please someone.

Let go of the past forever.

You don't need to hold on to it. It is impossible to change what was. You wondered how to start over, remember? So, you will never be able to start in the new while you are holding on to the old. A new chapter of the book begins only when the old one ends...

Be honest with yourself.

It is possible to start a new life and improve it many times only when we take risks, and the first and most difficult thing for us is not to lie to ourselves.
Learn to put your personal needs on the back burner.

Remember, you and your life are exceptional. Uniqueness should get a chance to develop. This is what is really scary - to forget about your uniqueness and put all your strength into loving someone else.

No, don't leave the ones you love. Just don't forget about yourself. Learn to find time for yourself and ... create, do what is really important to you, without stopping at anything.

Never beat yourself up for your mistakes.

Life, throwing us more and more tests, makes us make mistakes. Someone scolds himself for falling in love with the wrong person, and someone for doing something stupid... Look at it from a different, positive angle. You need to start thinking differently.
If you had not made a mistake once, you would not have met your spouse, would not have got a job at the current Good work Or if you don't live where you live now...

There are many examples, but the essence is the same. You are you, here and right now, not your past mistakes. You have a great chance to start building your future. So start finally demolishing the bricks to the construction site!

Stop trying to buy yourself happiness.

This is impossible! Absolutely free are such simple things as love, joy, laughter, working on your own feelings...

Stop looking for someone to find happiness.

Deal with your cockroaches in your head first. You need to start creating stability in your life. You will not become happier in a relationship until you are satisfied with yourself, your personality.

Stop messing around.

It won't get you anywhere. Life doesn't like lazy people. Get started right now. Your whole life is movement.
Do something that makes you feel good about yourself...
You have to go into a new life with a willingness to work and plow. Do not hesitate in making decisions. Do not think too long, otherwise out of the blue you will draw yourself another problem that might not have happened. Act decisively and take risks where possible.

Do not torture yourself with doubts that you are not ready for something.

Let me tell you a little secret: no one feels 100% ready for anything. We stop feeling comfortable as soon as we see serious opportunities in front of us. We experience discomfort at the level of thinking. That's the way a person is.

You don't need to get involved in a relationship out of the blue, just like that.

I'm talking about love. Do not rush to choose a person. Consider, weigh all the pros and cons, evaluate your feelings and feelings, and only then make your choice. Relationships are built wisely, not randomly.

Dive into the waters of love when you feel ready, not at the first inner urge of loneliness.

No need to flog a fever and send new relationships to hell when the old ones did not work out.

It's just that you haven't met someone yet who will love you for being "just the way you are."

Don't look at everyone as competitors.

Life is so arranged that someone will always be more successful than you. You need to start developing a new strategy, focusing on your own achievements. Fight with yourself, not with someone else.

No need to envy.

Stop complaining about everything and feeling sorry for yourself.

Life throws dice for you. Thanks to these cubes, she guides you along one path or another. Constantly complaining about something, you can miss a lot of important things.
You need to understand and wind on your mustache everything that is happening around. And constantly complaining, you will lose concentration and immerse yourself in the world eternal problems. Show people that you are doing well - smile more often.

Drive away hate.

Being offended by someone and hating him all your life is only to your own detriment. I advise you to even eliminate the word "hate" from your vocabulary. It only attracts negative energy. Do not forgive the offense, but simply forget about it, and you will find peace.

Don't bother with explanations.

A friend does not need them, and the enemy simply will not believe you. Don't waste your time and energy on this.

Don't neglect the little things.

Life is full of pleasant little things - enjoy them. In the future, you will treat these memories as important points of your life.

Don't try to make everything perfect.

You can do better, but not perfect. Then you will again want to improve what you have already improved, and so on. You end up wasting a lot of time.

Don't blame others if you have problems.

You are responsible for your own life and actions. A dream will never come true if you constantly lose control of your sense of responsibility.

And finally, even if you have to step into nowhere, starting life from scratch, not knowing what lies ahead, it is better to take this risky step than to live your whole life feeling like an unhappy person.

Surely everyone at least once visited the idea to start life from scratch. Someone is tired of the daily pulling of the blanket over himself in the family, someone can no longer endure the humiliation of the authorities, etc. It would seem that it’s easier to get a divorce or change jobs, but not everyone dares to take such a step or not immediately.

However, driving ourselves into more and more rigid frames and boundaries, we only intensify the process of self-destruction, do not allow ourselves to open up and use all our capabilities. But nothing is impossible.

First steps

To start living from scratch, you must first of all believe in yourself, realize that there are no barriers to a new life other than those created in your own imagination.

How many people are around you who have achieved something in life and become happier and richer? A lot of? So why do you think you don't deserve it yourself?

What's stopping you - your nose irregular shape, lack of education or connections? Stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself and start taking action!

The path of self-abasement is the easiest path, but you cannot say with complete certainty that the path to the top is even harder until you overcome it. In the end, give yourself a chance to try and come back to past life you always have time.

To concretize own desires and their dreams need to be transferred to paper. Make a plan, where the points describe own actions and start sticking to them here and now, without shelving.

With such a clear plan in hand, and not a ghostly idea of future life in your head, you will be more likely to achieve everything that was planned. Most likely, not everything will go according to this plan, and you will go astray more than once, but this is normal, because you still do not have the experience of living in new and unusual conditions and you will return to the past more than once.

But moving along a precisely planned course, you will definitely come to the goal, even if this path is too tortuous.

Habits and resentments

First of all, you need to start existence from scratch with leaving your past and everything that was in it - insults, disappointments, some kind of sorrows, etc. The past is decay, it was and will never happen again, living in the past means not giving a chance to live in the present and fill your own existence with positivity and optimism.

What do you want: to be right or to be happy? Perhaps someone in the past hurt you a lot, and you just can’t let go of the situation and forgive this person. But you must understand that this addiction destroys only you.

That person may no longer remember you, and you destroy yourself day by day and do not give yourself a chance to rise and become a different person.

If something in your home reminds you of the past, collect it all and take it to a social service that helps the poor. If you can’t raise your hand to do this, then just hide these things away from your eyes.

Then, when enough time passes and everything in your life gets better, you will look at these things with a smile and hardly remember that they once plunged you into despondency and sadness. Start changing gradually.

This applies not only inner world, but also appearance. Special meaning this factor has for women. Try to completely change the image. Consult with a professional stylist, hairdresser, makeup artist. You yourself will not notice how the new image will work for you.

For those who start a new life from scratch after a divorce, this must be done first. A free man opens up a lot of prospects. Are you tired of constant cooking?

Now you do not need to stand at the stove for hours, you can limit yourself to some salad, but how useful it is for the figure! Dreamed of going to dances, courses in English or to the gym, but there was no time?

Now you have more than enough time! But by visiting clubs of interest and meeting new people, you give yourself a chance to make new friends who can lead you to interesting ideas and give impetus to new development.

Career

If the main thing that darkened your life was a hateful and underpaid job, it's time to change it. But here you should not rush, as there is a great chance to stay aground. It is better to start looking for a new job in advance. If everything suits you at work, except for relations with the team, there is a chance to fix everything.

There is a mass psychological technique to put a presumptuous colleague in his place and change the status quo. You can turn to a psychologist for help, or even better - start helping people.

Just like that, without expecting a response from them. And then you will see how life will finally turn to face you and be painted with new unprecedented colors.

Family Preservation

If you have reached a dead end love relationship, but there is a desire to remain a couple, you can offer your other half: Let's start all over again from scratch!

However, in order to maintain such a relationship, you will have to try and the first thing to do is to forgive old grievances and not drag them into a new life. Learn to trust your loved one, because if he wanted to try, then he cares. It may be worth considering the option of moving to a new place of residence.

If your relationship is being killed by habit and the lack of new experiences, then there is a lot of work to be done on yourself. No matter how paradoxical it sounds, but in order to be of interest to another person, you need to stop being his shadow, but start living your own life.

Move away a little, make new acquaintances, start visiting new places. This will allow the other half to look at you with new eyes and see what he may not have noticed before.

A self-sufficient person always commands respect, you always want to be with such a person. The same applies to families. Starting a relationship with parents from scratch, you can only grow up.

If you feel strong enough in yourself, and your parents do not want to let you out from under their own wings, prove to them that you are already an adult and then they will understand that they can trust and rely on you.

Consolidation of the result

Make it a rule to keep a diary of achievements and write down in it all the events that you are proud of. Make it a rule to set the stage for such events every day. This will be a great incentive for further development.

Perhaps, in the life of every person there have been periods when one wanted to give up everything, cross out, erase, tear and, leaving, burn bridges behind oneself in order to start a new life. How to start life from scratch, when all meaning is lost and disappointment in life reaches its climax? Accept a series of dramatic changes!

Changes of any nature can be either rapid, severe, comprehensive - revolutionary, or soft, long, gradual - evolutionary. Of course, evolution is better than revolution in changing one's own life as well as in other areas.

Evolution is always less painful and destructive (both for the person himself and for those around him), but due to the fact that many people like to stretch their problems to the size of a catastrophe, it is often possible to solve them only in a revolutionary way. By analogy with the disease, we can say that as long as the life problem is small, it can be eliminated by taking pills, but if it is already life-threatening, a serious operation is needed.

For example, if a woman has been putting up with her unemployed, idle and doing nothing but asking her for money for drinks, her husband, while supporting him and the whole family, there is only one way out - divorce and eviction from the apartment. If the problem is that there is less passion and more routine in the relationship between husband and wife, the evolutionary method is suitable: to make changes in everyday life, duties, add extreme, novelty to life, change externally or internally for both or one of the spouses and etc.

Is it easy to start life from scratch?

To start life from scratch, sometimes you need absolutely minor changes, such as renovating an apartment, talking to a wise person, changing your image, or traveling to a country that you have long wanted to visit.

It happens that a new life begins imperceptibly as a result of the gradual development of personality and self-improvement. But more often than not, people need quick and major change in life circumstances, which is unlikely to happen by itself (or it will take another lifetime).

As a rule, several cardinal changes or a complete change in lifestyle are required at once. To start living from scratch, you need to put in front of you such target.

Unfortunately, there are people (and there are many of them) who live in ignorance or unwillingness to change something, even if life brings them nothing but suffering. Such people either consciously choose the path of torment, considering it the right one, or simply find and receive unhealthy pleasure or hidden benefit from their torment.

What do they want people who are aware of the need for life changes? Most often these are such desires:

Every person wants to be happy, the only difference is that some people expect happiness as a miracle and believe in such an opportunity for themselves, others always complain that they got an unfortunate lot and do not try to change anything, and still others believe in a better life and create her with her work.

Analysis of the old and design of the new life

The Russian language is unusually rich in meanings. Very often, in words, set phrases, sayings and proverbs, answers to many complex life questions are hidden.

There are no and cannot be universal recommendations on how to start life from scratch, but psychologists recommend sticking to the following action algorithm:

The very first and most important understand that it's time to start life from scratch, to dare it, to overcome fears and self-doubt. There is simply no other way but to gain courage and courage.

You need to pick up a blank sheet of paper and write the title "My new, happy life!"

Answer two questions:

What's stopping you from being happy?

Answers must be written one under the other in the left half of the sheet.

What will make me happy?

Write down the answers also in the column only on the right, opposite the first list.

When answering this question, you need to try to be as accurate as possible. If you need money, then how much, if a husband, then what kind, and so on.

Decisions will be either cardinal, revolutionary or softer, evolutionary.

You need to imagine, dream about how you want to live, and then write down or sketch all the desires on a piece of paper.

These dreams should not be sky-high, but achievable. When dreaming, to imagine is not what is accepted, it is fashionable to want in society, but what suits, complements, makes truly happy.

You can imagine one day from a happy life and describe it: how it starts, what kind of people are nearby, what the day is filled with, what is the work schedule, what kind of rest, and so on.

In fact, the picture of a happy life is a set of answers to the question “What will make me happy?”, only not scattered, but integral.

From words to actions

After it becomes clear what you need to get rid of for good and what you need to bring to life in order for it to radically change for the better, you need to take action.

Naturally, after the analytical work done, drawing up a picture of a happy life, building new plans, each person will develop their own goals, but as an example, the following will be described active actions to help you start living differently:

change of thinking from negative to positive,
increased self-confidence, optimism,
taking responsibility for one's own life,
changing of the living place,
change of circle of communication, environment,
change of occupation or place of work,
change of marital status,
acquiring a new hobby
change in image, appearance,
getting rid of fears, complexes and other psychological problems,
resolution of health problems
getting rid of bad habits and addictions,
the acquisition of new, positive habits (walking in nature, reading, playing sports, living in the present and enjoying life, asking for forgiveness and forgiving, helping loved ones, others).

Change should start with the most important problem. For example, if life is poisoned by an unloved job, it is necessary, first of all, to change it, perhaps all other aspects of life will improve after that by themselves.

If it is difficult to start with radical changes, you can take on smaller ones, the main thing is begin.

The second important thing to remember is that fundamental changes must be deliberate and not hasty. When you quit your job, it’s better to find another one in advance, or at least understand that you can find it. When leaving to live in another city, learn in advance and as much as possible about how people live there. When entering into a new relationship, take a closer look at your partner, and not through rose-colored glasses.

What else is extremely important to know and not forget when changing life is that any external changes impossible without internal transformations. Sometimes only inner work on oneself serves to change one's life.

This leads to another important conclusion: know what mistakes have been made in the past so as not to repeat them in the future. At the same time, remember that no one is immune from mistakes. In a new life, they, too, may be, but they should not be taken as a failure, this is an experience and while it can still be corrected, this must be done immediately, without delaying or increasing the scale of the problems.

And finally, even if you have to step into nowhere, starting life from scratch, not knowing what lies ahead, it is better to take this risky step than to live your whole life feeling like an unhappy person.

Sometimes we realize that we are thoroughly stuck, that the life that we have is definitely not to our liking. There can be many reasons for this: our relationships can fail, the work we do can get boring, the people we have to deal with can become disgusting, and it can also happen that the thought flashes in the brain like a match that everything that is around - this is far from what we really need.

But regardless of the reasons that prompt you to change, you can start all over again, having previously clarified everything and determined for yourself guidelines and a plan for changing yourself and your life. I sincerely hope that these 15 steps help you start a new life and change yourself.

Step 1. Determine the direction of movement and your motivation.

Your life is always a movement towards a certain goal, regardless of whether you are aware of this goal or not. Your former life, which does not suit you, could be subordinated to someone else's false goal, which contradicted your inner nature, your nature, your desires and your values. For example, you were in a relationship that you didn't really want, or got a job that you were disgusted with, or interacted with people who turned out to be complete strangers to you.

Now you can determine for yourself which trajectory you should move on, now you yourself are the master of your life path. Use the right motivation. Start from "Where am I going?" and not from "Why am I running?". Running away from something is not a useful motivation. Avoiding bad feelings does not solve real problems. Emotions tend to follow you wherever you go. Therefore, you will have to deal with them before you start a truly new life.

How to develop a life strategy

Step 2: Release yourself from the burden of loss or defeat.

Often, serious life events push us to start all over again. Divorce, separation, collapse of career plans, ruin of a business, job loss, health status. All this leaves a serious emotional imprint and can be a source of constant stress, worries, anxiety or even depression. You need to understand that making serious decisions with such baggage is a very dangerous business.

If a life event made you experience deep and strong emotions, then it takes time for everything to calm down. This gap can be reduced if you work through your experiences with the help of within one or more sessions.

Step 3. Explore your life

For the success of your enterprise at the beginning of a new life, it is not enough just to know where you need to move. It is also important to clearly know and clearly understand where you are starting from. Imagine that you are about to make a powerful jump into the water, but you are jumping from a very slippery bank. You spend your strength and energy on a powerful jump, but at the decisive moment you slip and everything goes down the drain.

To prevent this from happening in your story, study your past life (it will also be useful to go through rapid test "Life Analysis"), write it down on paper and study your habits, your past patterns of behavior in different life situations(for example, how you deal with difficulties or react to unexpected opportunities; how well you manage to follow through on your decisions, etc.).

Surely, in the process of studying your past life and your behavior, you will notice a lot of things that you would not like to notice, which will cause you rejection and internal resistance. But this is exactly what you should pay attention to in the first place.

“The darkness of low truths is dearer to us than the uplifting deception,” said Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. What is "low truth"?

They are what you know about yourself, but what to know, and even more so to hear from others, is unpleasant. What you drive from yourself. Things that require thinking make you feel uncomfortable. And in general - to grow. Uplifting deception does not promote growth. Ryaba the Hen is a film about low truths. I think that's why a lot of people don't get it.

Why wasn't Chaadaev accepted, why was he declared insane? Others even today categorically deny it. Although he was largely right. But he talked about "lower truths" that caused a feeling of discomfort, which was not customary to talk about. No one has yet been put in a lunatic asylum for "elevating deceit." And for the "low truths" suffered enough. As a rule, it is for them.

And this is not only in Russia - no one in the world needs a frightening truth. It needs to be hidden. So that few know it and do not allow others to see it ..

Konchalovsky A., Low Truths, M., "Collection" Top Secret ", 1999

Step 4. Examine your values

Before making big and serious decisions about what your new life will be, you should analyze your own life values. If you know what is most important to you, then based on your values, it will be easier for you to accept right decisions about how to start a new life and change yourself.

Take a sheet of paper and write down on it everything that you believe in, everything that you consider the main and important in life, in relationships between people, what things make you think deeply or inspire. Look at what you do in life, what you like to do and ask yourself a simple question: “Why?”, “What is it for?”. The answers you receive can reveal completely unexpected facets of your personality.

You can also consider several people (these may be living and familiar people, famous people or historical characters) that you admire and ask yourself: what do I respect most about them? Why? How can this play out in my own life?

Step 5: Decide what big changes you want to make

For some people, starting a “new life” can mean a radical change: moving to another city or country, a complete renewal of social ties, a change professional field etc. For others, it may mean small but significant changes, such as letting go of old habits or behaviors and focusing on developing a new way of life. Regardless of your desire, make sure you are clear about how big a change you want to make.

Find out what needs to change in your life. For example, is there something that makes you unhappy or dissatisfied? Or can you decide to change every aspect of my life for me, or would it be more appropriate to focus on one or two areas? Remember that change (especially when done without outside support) is always difficult, so start small and work your way up to be successful.

Step 6. Create an image of your new future

Do one useful exercise, which will help you figure out what goals and objectives to set for yourself and what changes need to be made. In addition, it will give you the necessary motivation and strengthen your intention to change.

Imagine a certain moment in the future. Let this moment have the exact date and time. Imagine that in this future, you have received magical power to achieve all your hopes and dreams. You are exactly who you want to be.

Imagine it in as much detail as possible. Who surrounds you? Where do you live? What are you doing? What does it look like? Include as many details as possible to create the clearest possible image. One of my clients imagined that he is a successful designer, he has his own studio, he receives interesting orders from all over the world and he travels a lot to other countries, doing interesting and amazing things (in reality, after a couple of years he really founded his studio and became receive foreign orders).

Now think about your strengths, abilities and skills that are needed to make this vision of the future a reality. What do you already have? What areas need improvement? Be honest with yourself. For example, if you want to be famous musician, then perhaps you already have musical abilities, or at least a love for music. You will also need a stronger mindset to work on improvements.

Using your imagination to create an image of the future, make that image achievable and positive. Obviously, you cannot become a superhero or the owner of any superpowers and super-powers. Here you better think about what attracts you to such a superhero. His desire for justice and defense of the weak? Then you can choose for yourself a profession that contributes to the fulfillment of this mission. Or do you like the ability to make quick and accurate decisions? Then imagine how you should train your thinking to reach that level.

Step 7. Set clear and specific goals

famous sage Lao Tzu said: A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And your journey into a new life must also begin with concrete steps. Setting clear personal goals will help you move forward confidently and stay on course to build a new life.

Think about where you see yourself in 6 months, a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years or more.

Set your goals. Make sure they are well-defined goals, that is, they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and have clear deadlines.

Start by defining your big goal, and then break it down into smaller ones. Then break smaller goals into tasks.

For example, if you decide that you want to find your own business and make it a source of your income, this is your common goal. To achieve it, you will need to achieve smaller goals. For example, the first thing you should do is contact a professional who will help you find the case that suits your purpose (for my clients, this service is included in the program «» ), then you need to draw up a marketing plan and conduct research target audience. Examples of tasks here can be: creating a test product, researching people's needs and their willingness to use this product, studying competitors and their products, analyzing the market, etc. You can split these tasks even further, for example, set yourself the task of communicating with potential customers or going to places where products are sold (services are provided) similar to the product that you are going to give.

Step 8: Determine what you need internal changes

In order for your new life project to be successful, you should think carefully about what internal changes you need to make in own personality. In other words, you need to define who you BE in order to successfully DO what will allow you to HAVE another life.

Let's take a look at what these internal changes can be.

It can be changes in your physical state . You may decide that you must enter the new life with a new body. You may want to lose weight or improve your physical training, get a more athletic and developed body. Do not forget that excess weight depends on 2 main reasons: slagging of the body and low level vital activity.

I recommend you start by leveling up physical activity and do it gradually, increasing the load over a long time (at least 45 days), so that it becomes a habit for you. You may need the help of a consultant to develop an optimal program and change beliefs and mental attitudes that prevent you from changing your body.

It will be easier with a change in appearance. You can choose your own style or consult with a stylist. Buy new clothes, change your hairstyle. Remember that how you dress and how you look affects how you feel and how others perceive you. Research has proven that when you dress in a way that aligns with your goals, you are more likely to achieve them.

Changes in worldview. It's about famous expression"You can take the girl out of the village, but you can't take the village out of the girl." If you do not want to be this most notorious "girl", then you have to work hard on how you think and how you perceive the world.

Think about what beliefs the person you want to become should have, how this person should perceive the world, people, events, relationships. What principles and rules should it be guided by. Explore the list of ,to get about a completely new way of looking at the world.

Changing your mindset is not an easy process. Force of habit, old patterns and inertia of thought can form the core of your personality. Within the framework of the program «» we do with clients so that a person can see his true nature and found the real I. After this process, any changes in consciousness with the help of any psychotechnics are much faster and easier.

emotional changes. In order for your new life to be prosperous, you need to learn to let go of your past. This includes the ability to forgive. Forgiveness frees you from the burden of past trauma and pain. You forgive others not for them, but for yourself. Research shows that forgiveness makes you feel less angry and anxious. Learn to also accept defeats and losses as part of life, pass them through the "sieve" of awareness and let go. And you will feel great relief.

Change your approach to life using the power of gratitude. Learn to thank life for any of its manifestations, remember that difficulties are on your life path These are trials, not punishments. Accept them as well as all the good things that happen to you.

Research has shown that practicing gratitude makes you feel happier and more content with life; it will help you learn flexibility and adaptability to change; strengthen your physical health and sleep quality, and can help you overcome emotional trauma. Practice the power of gratitude for 5 minutes every day 1 or more times.

Step 9: Rethink your relationship with people

The world is people, and life is relationships between people. It's hard to start a new life if there are "toxic" people in your environment who drag you down. In some cases, it is necessary to "cut" such people out of your life in the interests of your own safety. In other cases, you can simply stop spending time with them, and you will feel happier by removing them from your life.

Interpersonal relationships are critical to your functioning and improvement as a person. Numerous studies show that we strongly influence the people with whom we interact, so when starting a new life, take into it only those people who are important to you and will give you the love and respect that you deserve.

One of my clients, having decided to start a new life and open his own business, faced numerous difficulties, the reasons for which, as it turned out, lay in the fact that his so-called. "friends" were people not inclined to independent actions and taking responsibility. They are used to living a measured, stable and dull life, and by communicating with them, my client involuntarily received nourishment for those parts of his personality that resisted risks and dangers. entrepreneurial activity. In practice, this led to the fact that "business did not move." My client needed a serious rethinking of the role of these people in his life in order for the situation to change and his business to begin to grow and develop.

The following anecdote illustrates this situation very well:

The old devil drowns in hell three boilers with sinners. A young imp is sent to him for practice.

Young Devil. Old Devil teaches him:

- So, look - the first boiler. He must be carefully monitored. The Jews are here. If at least one gets out, he will drag all his own behind him ...

Second boiler. Here you can keep an eye on the lid half-heartedly. The Americans are sitting here, it’s every man for himself, one will run away - it’s not scary, he won’t go far anyway.

You can not look at the third boiler at all. The Russians are here. If at least one climbs up, the rest will seize them and put them in the hottest place.

Clear your space of people:

with whom you feel empty or constantly stressed
who constantly criticize or judge you. And you feel like you can't do anything right when you're around them.
who say bad things about you to your face or behind your eyes
around whom you do not feel safe sharing your hopes, thoughts, needs or feelings.

Eliminate unhealthy social relations will help you more confidently and many times faster to move forward to a happy and healthy life. Forming a supportive social environment that does not include your past habits is critical to ensuring your success path. Surround yourself with people around whom you will grow as a person and develop towards a new life.

Step 10: Start a new one financial life

Whether you just graduated from college or have been in the business for 30 years, it's never too early or too late to start your financial life over again. You might want to start saving for important life goals such as buying a house or enjoying a comfortable old age. Or maybe you want to rethink your spending habits to stop wasting money left or right. Or maybe you want to invest. Take a look at your goals and decide how you need to manage your money to get what you need.

Try to get rid of all your debts first. Debts - they are from a former life. They have no place in the new life. One of my clients, after our work with her, got rid of 90% of her debts in less than 6 months. If you have more debt than you can pay, then current legislation allows you to go through personal bankruptcy. Perhaps this will be the right option for you.

Then analyze your finances. Structure your income and expenses, start budgeting. See where you can reduce "leaks" (for example, buying unnecessary things), and where you can get extra money (for example, by selling things that you do not use through the avito.ru service). In any case, keeping a budget will tell you good financial decisions.

Step 11. Talk to people

When you decide to start a new life, talking to people who are already living the life you want can be a very helpful move. This is useful because it can give you an idea of how to get there. For example, if you want to give up a boring boring job and do something that you love and that interests you, then you just need to look for those people who have already done business in your favorite business and, for example, take an interview from them, during which inquire about their road map". Perhaps one of these people will agree to become your Mentor on the way to a new life.

You can also ask people about difficult moments that may arise in your new life. You may be under illusions about new career, a new relationship, a new business or a new country. Understanding the smallest details that others will tell you about will allow you to avoid many mistakes and wrong movements.

For example, you may dream of leaving your boring job in Moscow and moving to Bali, where life is paradise. If you interact with people who already live there, you may discover things you don't know about, like how incredibly expensive it is, unfriendly visa policies, health care issues, difficulty engaging in activities that require concentration. Of course, this does not mean that you should not move, but this knowledge will help you better adapt to the realities of a new life.

Step 12: Get Support

Starting a new life can be a daunting prospect. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you and who can help and support you on your journey. Knowing that you have sources of emotional support will help you feel much stronger as you face the realities of your new life.

If you do not have family or reliable comrades who can support you, then it makes sense to look for such support elsewhere. This may be support within interest groups or communities or even religious communities. Go where people freely and openly communicate with each other and make new acquaintances.

Step 13: Test Yourself

The big life changes that are needed to start a new life will require serious work, dedication and patience from you. This can be stressful and intimidating. Make sure you are ready for this. How are you feeling? What kind of behavior is acceptable to you? Are you worried about something? Keeping a diary will help you understand your emotions and determine if there are areas where you need more support or need deep work.

The process of serious and profound changes in life can often cause feelings of depression. You may start to feel sad, stop enjoying certain things, feel anxious or guilty, feel empty or hopeless. In this case, quickly and painlessly you can help . Work on this technology allows you to eliminate negative emotional sensations during one session.

Step 14: Make the necessary changes

A new life will not mean that difficulties, obstacles and problems will disappear forever. Starting a new career does not mean that you will never again feel unappreciated or uninspired. Moving to a new city or new country does not mean you will never miss home. When you have problems, acknowledge them as such and do what you need to do to resolve them and adapt to the situation.

You may face a lot of difficulties on your way to a new life. For example, perhaps you wanted to pursue a military career to follow your values of service and honor, but found out that you were not healthy enough to enroll in military school. You could see this as the failure and collapse of your dream, or you could go back to the drawing board and see if there are other things you can do that will also allow you to express those core values.

Step 15: Work with a consultant

Even if you don't think anything is going "wrong" in the process of building your new life, it can be helpful to reach out to a counselor or personal trainer, especially when it comes to making major changes. The fact is that such a difficult process as starting a new life and changing oneself can contain a variety of mistakes and hidden obstacles that can only be seen from the outside. A good consultant is able to give you a quality feedback and protect from a waste of time, effort and resources.

Another point is that deep personal changes are always accompanied by stress and internal resistance (self-sabotage). Sometimes they are so strong that they give up and lose all desire to move forward. With the help of a consultant, you can work through and get rid of internal fears that block changes. The consultant can also help you find out helpful ways thinking and responding to challenges.

Seeking a counselor is a sure sign that you love yourself and take care of yourself enough to get help when it's needed and helpful, and that's good news. A personality change consultant is to you what a dentist is to your teeth: You fix minor problems and complexities before they become catastrophic.

Start a new life today!

After reading this article, you may decide: “OK, this is all great! I will definitely take these recommendations into account and even begin to follow some of them.” But the fact is that the process of change is a systemic process, where everything is clearly connected with each other and each step affects the other. It is important not to make a mistake here.

Do you want to know how to start a new life in which there will be self-realization, high meaning, activity, motivation, strength, leadership, new discoveries, energy, exciting changes, interesting game, new horizons, pleasure from the lived moment, a clear understanding of one's own path, the absence of self-sabotage and uncertainty, clarity of intention and action? And at the same time, you will not make gross mistakes and avoid many “pitfalls”, and the journey itself will take several months instead of decades.

Then . I will give you a solution!

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