How to understand what I really want. How to find your purpose and life purpose

What makes you get up in the morning and start doing your tasks as soon as possible? What motivates you to overcome obstacles and? Why do you glow with happiness, and your eyes begin to shine? Many people can easily answer these and other similar questions and start a conversation about their goals, dreams, plans for life and what they want to achieve. But, at the same time, there are people who will think hard about the answer, but will not be able to say anything. The difference between these categories of people is that some are clearly aware of their purpose and have specific life goals, while others seem to strive for something, however, the meaning of their life and what they want to achieve look rather vague even for them themselves.

Here we are not talking about such “goals” as earning money to provide yourself and your loved ones with everything you need, covering mandatory monthly expenses, a new Appliances home etc. All of these are essential needs of almost every person; his so-called vital necessity; without which his life and everyday life will not satisfy even the most minimum requirements. Here we are talking about something more global; the fundamental direction of all actions performed in life; about what makes you grow, develop, work, work and achieve, regardless of any obstacles, and do it with pleasure, enthusiasm and inspiration. We are talking about specific life goals.

A little bit about the lack of a life goal

Desire to find your purpose life purpose is inherent, perhaps, to all people. But often, under the influence of various factors and circumstances, such as, for example, upbringing, the worldview of parents, the influence of the environment, imposed beliefs and ideals, the promotion of a certain lifestyle, way of thinking and everything that you need to have and want to have, lead to that people just lose themselves in all this. They seem to fall asleep, their whole life becomes unconscious and mechanical, and their thinking becomes stereotyped and standardized. As a result, all questions relating to the meaning of life lose their relevance, fade into the background, or are generally discarded as unnecessary.

If a person is still concerned about such topics, and he has not completely lost his individuality, selfhood and the feeling that you need to strive for something or at least look for it, the answers to the questions posed above are often difficult to find, which often noticeably overshadows the existence , creates a feeling of aimlessness of being, becomes the cause of apathetic or depressive states.

The lack of a life goal has an extremely negative effect on a person's life. This is the inability to fully reveal one's personal and creative potential, and the duality of thinking and behavior, and the loss of interest in activities and in life in general, and real happy moments can be counted on the fingers. It is possible to disassemble this topic in parts endlessly, but this is not at all important, but what is needed, and most importantly, you can come to an understanding of your true purpose and the definition of specific life goals.

Why do you need to find your life purpose?

The question of finding a life goal, just like the previous one, is very voluminous and multifaceted. But, despite this, it is always considered exclusively in a positive way. When a person has a clear life goal, he lives with an understanding of what his time is invested in, that he is on the path to achieving what he wants, and this path is the right one. The goal fills his entire existence with meaning, which means that in life there is a place for harmony and happiness. Having a goal, a person specifically knows in which direction to move. Make any choice Everyday life it becomes easier, it becomes much easier to separate the important from the unimportant and discard the latter without regret. Always present, no need to force yourself to anything. And if efforts are made to correct one's behavior, then this is a training that allows one to become stronger, and certainly not violence against oneself, as happens when you do everything with clenched teeth.

A life goal is something that fills both the person himself and his life. This is what allows a person to walk through life with a firm and confident gait with his head held high even in the most difficult moments. And this is what allows him to come to the meaning of his existence and see even the most habitual life in perfect new perspective and also change it.

But reasoning is reasoning. They are, of course, good, but they can remain only a theory. And this, unfortunately, is the worst thing that can happen to a person who is looking for his destiny. To avoid this, you should use several recommendations that not only contribute to the transition from thoughts to actions, but also greatly simplify the search for your destiny and goals to which you can safely devote your life.

How to realize your purpose and find life goals?

Without further ado, let's jump right into these recommendations.

• Start by analyzing your interests and hobbies. Approach this issue consciously and seriously. Determine what interests you the most: what kind of literature do you prefer to read? Are you interested in documentaries, and if so, what kind? What do you like to learn more and more about? It is likely that the answers to these questions will be able to set the right direction for future searches. If you don't feel like you have any special interests, you'll have to work hard to find them. Your life's work is 90% related to your interests.
• Analyze your activities in free time: what do you do, what do you like to do, what do you like to do when you think about your free time? What would you do if there was more time? Surely your leisure time, if it is, of course, not “stupid” or idle chatter in social networks, can be associated with your subconscious aspirations, talents, predispositions and goals. If you managed to find something like that, then think about whether there is an opportunity to somehow develop it and derive practical benefits from this lesson?
• Try to observe yourself, namely: observe what you notice around you. For example, you can often pay attention to other people's appearance or health, or you can pinpoint the cause of a car breakdown. Perhaps you are keenly aware of flaws in construction or repairs made in someone else's house. But what if you, without having the appropriate education, easily find various errors in the texts and know how to correctly write and express your thoughts, although you have never learned this? After observing yourself, most likely you will find something in which you, without having deep knowledge, can be a specialist. What is your activity now? Develop this idea further.
• Make a list of 50 wishes. Include everything that comes to mind. Seems simple? Surprisingly, many people after listings like: house, apartment, car, renovation, vacation, wedding, child, salary increase, new phone, new furniture and something like that, are confused. As a result, it turns out to write 20-25 wishes on the strength. If you have the same situation, do not despair and write further - this will activate your creativity and the work of the subconscious. If you easily wrote 50 wishes, increase the list to 100. It is the last and most “difficult” wishes that will reflect your global goals and life aspirations to a greater extent.
• Watch your states. In everyday life, a person from time to time is “covered” by waves of seemingly causeless inspiration and enthusiasm. Track these moments in your life and try to understand the reasons for their occurrence: some thoughts, actions, people. In many spiritual practices, inspiration is considered a sign that you are on the right path. Look for such signs constantly - they will be able to lead you to the right "road".
• Practice meditation. is one of the most powerful spiritual practices. During meditation, the chaotic running of thoughts calms down, there is a feeling of calmness, well-being and inner silence, which is the best suited for connecting with the subconscious. And, as you know, the subconscious knows and can do everything. During practice, ask yourself questions without trying to answer, using your rational mind. Answers can come even after meditation - it can be an insight, a thought or image that came from somewhere in your head, a sensation in your body, a meeting with some person, or a book that “accidentally” fell under your feet. Strive for self-knowledge.
• your future. Choose a quiet and peaceful place where no one will disturb you for at least 30 minutes. Turn off phones, skype, ICQ, internet and so on. Sit down and take a comfortable position. Close your eyes, relax. Try not to be distracted by extraneous thoughts. And now start imagining your life in detail, for example, in 5 years: where are you, where do you live, what kind of people are next to you, what are you wearing, what surrounds you at this moment, what do you have? Strive to keep your thoughts flowing calmly. No need to impose something on yourself and think in patterns. Just surrender to the flow of your thoughts - where will it take you? The sharper and clearer the picture, the closer you will be to finding a way to achieve its materialization. Do this procedure at least once every two days and over time you will begin to understand what you want and what you really need.

What more can be said? In fact, I would very much like to continue to develop this topic and bring more and more new ways to find your purpose and life goals. One could write a whole book. But for obvious reasons, it is not possible to do this in this article. So it remains only to summarize: the process of finding a life purpose and your destiny is entirely up to you. To find answers to your questions, you must find yourself, and this is a difficult, lengthy process, but very interesting and exciting. As already mentioned, strive for self-knowledge, engage in spiritual practices, read and watch educational TV shows, be alone with yourself, listen to your inner voice, etc. You can combine all of these, or you can do them separately.

And always remember that our only real enemies are despair, laziness and unwillingness to see beyond our own noses. Believe in yourself and your strengths, and also that your life goals are already very close to you!

You can comprehensively study this issue, it is better to understand yourself and use the knowledge gained for the purposes of self-development on the course. Join now!

For many people, “having what you want” is synonymous with happiness. But not everyone thinks about what they really need in life.

They continue to plow at the job they hate and waste two-thirds of their life, believing that they want money and career growth. And how is it in reality?

open the door to fantasy

Psychologists say that modern society afraid of success, although it is aimed at it. People are afraid to become happy and to be realized contrary to the typical "karma of losers."

And the world has a severe influence on our aspirations and impulses. Friends say “we need to get married”, parents want to become successful, rich and respected.

But it is very important to stop, discard everything superficial and confess your deepest, true dreams..

A child of five years old knows for sure that he wants to become a cook or a ballerina - not for the sake of the recognition of the crowd, but for self-expression. A tired mother of three boys dreams of getting enough sleep, relaxing in a sanatorium and listening to the coastal silence.

Not everyone modern women by nature, careerists and feminists: somewhere in the subcortex of the soul, they yearn to start a family and grow flowers in the front garden.

Taste life

The best teacher is own experience. There is only one way to understand what you need in life - to taste the most different things and draw conclusions.

So, my neighbor all her life dreamed of traveling the world. But after three food poisoning in North Africa, two robberies in Europe and a collision with poison frog in Bali, she realized that she loved her safe cottage - and more nose does not show from there.

Understanding exactly what you truly desire helps you find your calling.

When you act on your true impulses, you fill your life with emotional comfort and harmony, and you achieve success faster.

To understand what you need in life, you have to become a notorious egoist. It's like tasting cheeses or delicacies. Even if everyone says that the dish is amazing, you can’t deceive the body. He knows exactly if he likes it or not.

You do not dare to eat something that makes you internally sick? You also need to evaluate work, hobbies and relationships.

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Make a pyramid of priorities. What will be higher - family or career, self-improvement or financial stability, self-expression or spiritual growth.

In the first column, indicate what makes you feel euphoric. What events and actions cause a storm positive emotions: meeting with friends, business trips to other cities, practice foreign language in a foreign environment, the process of making music, driving a car, repairing a house, reading a cool book, working with your own hands, raising a crumb?

The second column is for burdensome, categorically unpleasant moments.. parent meetings, queues at the clinic, humiliation from superiors, cold calls, direct sales, working on your feet, contacts with many people ...

Act on the contrary: if in the second block you wrote “an eight-hour working day in a stuffy office”, then freelancing and a free schedule are closer to your body.

In the third column, describe something without which you do not feel comfortable in life, your personal must have for universal happiness.

For example, "silence in the morning hours", "lack of contact with strangers", "silent mobile phone», « beautiful view out the window”, “two full days off with the family”.

And although everyone writes in the resume about the mythical stress resistance, nervous strain is of little use to anyone.

What is needed in life and what is not

Think about the situation in which everything from the third column will accompany you, the maximum from the first and the minimum from the second.

Even if such a mix seems fantastic to you, believe that it is possible.

Another one motivational technique- imagine that you have several lives, about five or six.

Please note that the idea is not to change something in the current fate. You are offered other versions of yourself, additional ones.

What could hypothetically do fantastic clones? Suddenly, one would become a fashion designer, and the second - an interior designer, the third would certainly take care of the garden and build a house, and the fourth would buy a yacht and go on a cruise.

An amazing fact: if a person imagines himself truly happy, he is usually far from the image of Scrooge McDuck diving into gold mines.

For many, wealth is an optional condition for inner harmony, and the average income suits the majority.

So is it worth chasing millions if your personal happiness is quiet and simple, without a daily portion of caviar on a saucer, but with your beloved cat at your side.

Since you are reading this article, it means that you do not feel completely happy and want to understand yourself.

Think about what annoys you about this moment. What really infuriates you: low salary, workload, lack of time for hobbies, quarrels with the family, the need to work “for an uncle”?

Some nuances can be corrected even today - it is enough to want. Other problems will require a long and detailed plan.

Set micro goals for yourself and look for ways to achieve them. Travel through this life consciously and fill every day with personal meaning!

Questions about their destiny are asked by the majority of adults who have already taken place. The prerequisites for this are unrealized ideas and a person "crushed" by his parents in childhood. What to do in life? Any child will easily answer this question that, for example, he wants to become an astronaut or a military man, and an adult, in turn, will be confused and will not be able to give an affirmative answer. This is due to the fact that children more clearly imagine what they want from life.

Factors that prevent a person from deciding what to do in life

"Who do I want to be? What do I want from life? Why can't I understand what my main purpose is?" There are a lot of questions, and all of them are connected with the fact that a person is not able, for whatever reason, to fully understand himself and his feelings, desires. This may be due to a number of social and psychological factors in the individual's daily life, personality traits, habits and social circle.

Self-doubt

Constant barriers that arise between a person and his goal in the form of doubts and insecurities provoke an oppression of the desire to realize his unrealized potential. "Can I? What if I can't do anything?" Sometimes the cultivation of uncertainty occurs even at the stage of growing up, where the individual first encounters failures, misunderstanding and lack of support from loved ones. Self-doubt significantly hinders not only the implementation of plans, but also the personal growth of a person.

Features of the educational process

All our successes and failures, addictions, fears and dreams come from childhood. Most parents, not listening to the desires of their children, instill skills and abilities that are absolutely not characteristic of them. For example, a child, to the question "What do you want to do in life?" replies that he wants to be an artist. His answer to his parents is perceived as something unrealistic, something that will not bring any material wealth or career growth. As a result, the child meets with a complete misunderstanding on the part of adults, and his potential becomes unrealizable.

However, there are also cases when parents try to organize the child's leisure as much as possible, forcing him to develop comprehensively. Of course, an adult who has knowledge of various fields of activity in his luggage will be able to achieve a lot, but in most cases a person still does not know what to do because he forgets his original desires and aspirations.

Environment

Statement, peculiar herd instinct sometimes closes him from a person true possibilities and abilities. For example, several people from inner circle enroll in one college/institute/university and drag a person along with them. Under certain personal qualities he won't be able to resist. The result of training without much desire, and so, "for the company", is the choice of the wrong profession, the wrong job. As a result, an acute shortage of positive emotions develops, work becomes routine, and a person, living a boring, gray life, begins to ask the question: "What should I do in life in order to regain satisfaction from my own activity?" But he does not find an answer, because his "I" has already deeply hidden the possibilities and talents of a person, so as not to oppose his choice.

stereotypes

Everyone has their own opinion about what happiness should be. But some agree on one thing: happy man- this is the one who has achieved everything in life, who lives without denying himself anything. So human stereotypes have developed that without material wealth, no one can consider himself successful and accomplished. In this regard, a person, in his desire to understand what to do in life, more often seeks to get rich, to become one whose material possibilities are practically unlimited, and not to develop spiritually. No, this is not bad at all, but it should be borne in mind that money cannot bring the full release of potential, since each of us is individual. For example, a person who is more creative (drawing, singing, playing the musical instruments and so on) is often not endowed with a certain commercial streak, which nullifies all his attempts to achieve material well-being.

"What do I want to do in life?" The problem with this issue is that not everyone is able to put it on the shelves own desires and dreams. Most people lack specificity in defining purpose. Most often this is due to urgent needs, the satisfaction of which is in the first place. Here, an adult can be compared to a teenager, guided by the desires and preferences of parents, relatives and friends. What is better to do in life - the answer lies in the subconscious of each individual, for this you need to ask yourself motivational questions:

• What values ​​in your life are prerogative (no more than three)?
• Achieving what goals is important for you at the moment (no more than three)?
• What do you like to do?
• What would you like to do if you found out that you had six months to live?
• What is your most cherished dream was not realized due to the fear of failure?
• Where would you spend a large amount of money won in the lottery / bingo / poker?
• What dream would you go for if you were sure of 100% success?

Development of intuition

By developing your intuitive abilities, in the future you will be able to listen to your own subconscious mind, which gives us hints and the right answers. Then, how to understand what to do in life will not be a problem for you - you can easily determine your vocation and proceed to direct activity.

Books

Reading is something that people do in life in almost every social stratum. Books are a great way to understand yourself. Read as much as possible, but not everything. Be selective in the choice of literature, consider your preferences. No need to force yourself to absorb complex works - in this way you will develop a dislike for reading books.

Systematization

To decide what to do in life, making lists will help you. For example: shopping list, planning the day. Systematize desires, attitudes towards people and things, work and hobbies. List of your positives, negative qualities, as well as skills and abilities will allow you to figure out what kind of occupation you are best to do, in what area to work.

Responsibility

Know how to take responsibility for your actions, without blaming loved ones, the government and society as a whole for your failures. Responsibility allows you to realize that life and the choices you make depend only on you, which means that only you can know how to do the right thing in this or that matter. What is worth doing in life? First of all, learn to organize yourself and your activities.

Right choice

In any situation, focus on your own subconscious. Do you want to know if the right choice was made? Close your eyes and mentally imagine that the person who is now next to you is not there. Did you feel good or bad? This will be the correct answer. Visualize the consequences of your choice - this will help you avoid irreparable mistakes.

Pause

Pausing before any fateful decision allows you to think more carefully. You should not act, guided only by emotions and momentary impulses - this is fraught with a negative outcome, regrets and uncertainty about future achievements. Want to change jobs? Weigh the pros and cons, consider the outcome of your actions.

Exercises to Uncover Hidden Potential

Thanks to the classes, you can easily determine your true purpose. Various psychological techniques are often difficult to use, therefore it is easier to use the visualization of plans, desires and future actions. This does not require additional skills and knowledge - everything is very simple, you will need Blank sheet paper, pen or pencil and a little patience.

Extract and analysis of hobbies, favorite activities

Relax and think about what you enjoy most of the activities you know. Write down at least 20 known species hobbies or professions. For example: floriculture, playing the piano, writing articles, dancing, sports, cooking, and more. Analyze the finished list, put down next to each of the items the time that you devote (are ready to devote) to a particular type of activity during each day, as well as your preferences in the form of pluses.

Take a close look at your list. Near one (several) points you can see largest number pluses and time - this is your unfulfilled destiny.

Visualization of material well-being

Imagine that your life has changed dramatically, and now, in order to provide for yourself or your family, you no longer need to sit all day in the office, stand at the machine at the factory, run around with a courier bag - in general, you don’t need to work. In your name, a bank account has been opened with a round sum, which is enough for a long comfortable existence, and the children study at a prestigious academy. Represented? Now think about what you would do if you had a lot of free time and material wealth. Record all possible options on paper and analyze. Your further actions are the beginning of work on yourself in this particular type of activity.

It often happens that it seems that life has lost its meaning. There is no goal, there is no mood, hands drop. As if everything stopped around and froze ... How to get out of this state? Let's find out how to deal with it.

First you need to understand yourself

What needs to be done:

1. Accept yourself. There are no perfect people. We all have fears and we need to get rid of them. Without assessing the situation in which you find yourself, it is impossible to find ways to solve it.
2. Stop deceiving yourself. For example, I can’t do fitness from tomorrow due to a difficult period in my life, which will only aggravate the situation. But everything looks different. I can't exercise because I'm lazy. Self-deception interferes with personal growth and development.
3. Visualize your problem. We just take paper and a pen and write everything on a sheet. You can highlight the pros and cons, compare them. Look at the situation from the outside, and the problem will no longer seem so terrible and hopeless.
4. Cut off the ends from the past. Everyone in life had situations for which they had to blush. And these memories pop up and do not allow to live in peace. No matter how difficult it is, look back, restore the events in stages, draw conclusions and never return to this again.

You need to get rid of unnecessary thoughts, get rid of inner anxiety.

And yet, how to understand what you want from life?

Need a goal

If there is no guiding star, there is nowhere to move. We will stand still. It is important because:

1. Gives clarity. How to understand what you want if there is no main goal? There is no dream. You can work for decades doing something you don't like, while it will seem that you are doing so much, but in the end in vain. It is the goal that helps to help determine, formulate hidden desires. And then all the forces and energy you will direct to its implementation.
2. Pushes forward. The goal reflects our desires, which are the motivator. It is the engine that constantly keeps us moving, even in difficult situations.
3. Focuses attention. How to understand who you want to become in life, when all the efforts and time are wasted? You can endlessly work on something that does not play any role for you, marking time in one place. Until there is a clear formulation of what you want, nothing will change. When a goal appears, we focus our attention on it and achieve the goal.
4. Makes you responsible. Tasks encourage commitment without placing it on someone else's shoulders. Now we do not just want something, but we must act.
5. Helps you get better. Goals in life reveal potential, indicate new horizons, create conditions that make you give more than one hundred percent, help you overcome difficulties.
6. Make life better and better. And all because you will become a different person - purposeful, collected, gain new knowledge and invaluable life experience, learn to overcome difficulties and win. Your outlook will change, you will look at the world with different eyes.

If you want to become an optimist and understand life, set goals, achieve your goals. Now let's move from theory to practice. Consider seven strong technicians which will help in this matter.

Technique 1: "Make a list of 101 wishes"

It will seem difficult at first and it will take a long time, but it is worth it. Goals should be clearly stated: if you want a car, indicate not only the brand, but also the year of manufacture and color. dreaming about new job? Describe what type of work you will be engaged in, indicate the desired salary.

Second Technique: “Learning to See the Goal Clearly”

To understand the question of how to understand what you want from life, you need to develop inner vision, which will help you look into the subconscious and get real dreams from there. This technique will teach you to focus not on the means and methods by which the goal will be achieved, but on the desires themselves, to distinguish them from imaginary ones. While you should not think about the realization of the goal, the mind will independently find ways to fulfill it.

So, in order to understand what you want from life, do not be lazy, do not stop halfway. We move on. The task is clear, let's get to work.

You need to relax. You can turn on calm music, take a few deep breaths. You need to close your eyes and in the form of pictures, vivid images imagine the future in every area of ​​your life. For example:

• Family, love relationships.
• Relatives and friends.
• Place of residence (apartment, house).
• The interior of the dwelling and other property.
• car or others vehicles(helicopter, snowmobile, yacht).
• Image (clothing, jewelry, accessories).
• Work, career.
• Financial condition.
• Personal achievements (spiritual growth).
• Body, health.
• Rest and free time.
• position in society.

After the end of the figurative representation, it is necessary to describe in detail all the pictures for each area.

Technique Three: “Imagine Your Perfect Day”

How to understand what you want from life, if you exist in a monotonous everyday dullness that does not bring joy? Give yourself pleasure and dream about how you wake up and with whom. What will be the awakening and attitude of the person who will be next to you? Imagine exercising, swimming in the pool. Then colorfully picture a rich breakfast in your imagination. Imagine where you will work and who, what will be your income. Will you travel in your own car or with a driver? How will you spend the evening - with your family, in gym, in a restaurant? You need to think through all the smallest details of your ideal day.

Fourth Technique: "Articulate Desires"

The most effective exercise. It is better to do with a partner, you can take turns. Become facing each other. The one who will be the first to answer the questions needs to relax and close his eyes. Another starts to say:

• Recall a situation that completely liberated and relaxed you. (Pause).
• Do not hold back, mentally return to it and feel the same emotions. (Pause).
• Now try to connect in your thoughts with a part of yourself that knows what you really want, if you discard all the barriers that limit you: a sense of fear, anxiety, anxiety. (Pause).
• Immerse yourself in yourself, climb into the hidden corners of your soul and answer the question of what you want from life. At this point, it is necessary to write down the expressed desires. And so - for fifteen minutes.

The answers given at the final stage of the training will be the most truthful. It remains only to make a promise to yourself that you will fulfill everything.

Fifth Technique: "Let go of the imagination"

It is necessary to answer in writing many questions from all areas of your life. For example:

• What do you want most from life?
• What would you like to have (car, clothes, jewelry, etc.).
• What brings you satisfaction in relationships with a loved one, family, relatives?
• Who are you jealous of and why?
• Want to sleep more?

In this vein, you need to answer questions that will stimulate subsequent reflection and help you figure out how to understand what you want from life.

Technique Six: "Visualization"

Twice a day imagine your dreams, visualize the achievements, as if they have already come true. For example: "I bought (la) an apartment in the city center."

It often happens that a person goes to the same job for decades, after which he sees nothing - only life, family and everything in a circle. But at some point he stopped and realized that he wanted a different life. And here you need to start with a reassessment of yourself. If you want to understand life, then stop feeling sorry for yourself, torturing and tormenting yourself. You need to look for a target.

And the last, seventh technique: "Create a dream"

It is essentially the same visualization. If you are dreaming of a house, find a picture of the maximum similarity on the Internet, print it out and paste it into an album or frame it. And look at it every day.

We have reviewed practical exercises, but there are also many tests “How to understand what you want from life?”, Which will also help determine the goal.

Let's turn to the great classic Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

He lived only 44 years, and wrote more than 900 works. Many have become classics of world culture, and sayings - aphorisms. The meaning of one of them, concerning our topic: if you want to become an optimist and be able to understand life, you should not believe what they write and say, turn on observation and delve into it yourself.

Thus, the topic "If you want to understand life ..." Chekhov also touched upon.

We found the target, but it doesn't work. What to do in this case?

Now it’s clear: in order to determine your desires, you need the main objective and subgoals to achieve it. And it would seem that you are doing everything right, moving forward, but for some reason things start to go wrong, although it seems ideal.

It immediately comes to mind that there was an erroneous statement of the problem. But in fact, everything is absolutely not so, it's just that what we think is not our true desire. Many people do not know how to listen to the subconscious.

Consciousness is just the tip of the iceberg. And the rest of the hidden block is the subconscious. So, thanks to the first, we make decisions, dream, build life paths. But it is influenced by other external factors, so the true desire remains veiled.

It happens that there is a goal, motivation and actions, but all of a sudden everything starts to go wrong, collapses. This is the work of the subconscious. Let's say you were invited to an important business meeting related to business, but you lose your business card and can't get to it. Psychologists explain this situation by the fact that nothing happens by chance in life. In fact, it turns out that deep down inside you simply did not want and were afraid of this meeting.

The subconscious gives us clues through dreams, sensations and other signs, but they need to be able to decipher. And only when we learn to control our subconscious, will we begin to make really right decisions.

To understand what you want, you need to learn to listen to the subconscious, which is the key to our life, potential and talent. The subconscious mind makes up 90% of our psyche. It stores all knowledge and experience, fixes most of the installation programs.

How to choose the right solution?

And how do you know what you want to do in life? You need to calm down, relax, ask a question and just observe yourself and the world around you. If there are no joyful emotions, feelings of lightness, and, worse than that, discomfort has appeared, and at the same time external circumstances are stacked against you, the idea should be abandoned.

And remember: you can fight for happiness only if external factors influence you and your loved ones, and beat your forehead against the wall next to open door- not happiness, or it is not yours.

You have a relationship with a guy, but the question constantly arises: how seriously does he take them? How to understand if a man needs you, or is it just a game for him? Or maybe he uses you for his own selfish purposes? This is what we will talk about in our article. You will learn how to understand whether he values ​​​​relationships, whether he is in love, or he only needs sex and he does not see you as part of his future.

Whatever beautiful words did not sound from the lips of a man addressed to a woman, his actions can say more eloquently about his attitude. It is behavior that speaks of the role a woman plays in a man's life.

Each relationship is unique in its own way, but there are a number of signs that help shed light on intentions for your partner. If you are looking for a life partner and do not want to be a temporary toy, it is worth considering what you mean to the man you are dating.

Here are some signs that show that a guy does not value relationships at all:

• You've been dating for a long time, but he doesn't introduce you to his friends. You do not go together to crowded places - to the skating rink, to the cinema. He also refuses to meet your friends;
• meetings occur only when it is convenient for him;
• the guy does not offer to introduce him to his relatives and refuses to get acquainted with yours;
• often at the last minute cancels plans to meet with you;
• frequent quarrels because of his dissatisfaction with yours appearance, behavior;
• his compliments do not sound sincere, but like in a cheap theater. When speaking, he does not select words and can use rude expressions, profanity. But it is worth considering the fact that some men consider this the norm of behavior and rudeness has already taken root in them;
• the amount of attention paid can also be an indicator male attitude. If he offers to meet only when he needs something, this is not good. Most often, a man uses a woman as a sexual partner. Offers meetings to have sex. Here it is not necessary to go into deep reasoning, the consumer attitude towards a woman is evident.

If a man really loves

When a guy values ​​a relationship, it's always obvious. You will definitely notice the following in his behavior:

• he listens to your opinion. If a man does not agree with you, but does as you ask him, he really values ​​\u200b\u200bthe relationship;
• gifts are a clear sign that a man is trying to win you over. If a girl often receives various presents from her beloved, then she won his heart and now he is trying to conquer her;
• if after meeting you a man began to change in better side, got a better paying job, bought new car, signed up for courses, all this suggests that you inspire him;
• manners can also tell a lot about a man. A guy in love will compliment a girl, as he notices all the little things and details of her appearance. If a man gives his hand when you get out of the car, opens the door for you, a real gentleman is nearby, worthy of attention;
• tenderness and affection are signs reverent attitude to a girl, a woman. If such traits appear in his behavior, then the man appreciates you.

Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We advise you to look free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women". You will receive a 12-step step-by-step plan on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for years to come.

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If you notice that a man looks at you with an interested look, but does not take any steps towards you, you can be the first to invite him to drink coffee. But it’s worth acting unobtrusively. A man in love will not refuse a lady of the heart.

Do you want to know 8 more unmistakable signs of the behavior of a man in love? Then definitely.

If you want to make sure that the guy really loves, look at him. From them one can unmistakably determine his true attitude.

A few more female tricks that will help.

How to understand that he only needs you for sex

The actions of men who say that they use a woman for sex:

• your partner does not tell anything about himself, his family, work. You know little about him and he communicates with you only on intimate topics. Your revelations about feelings do not touch him and do not cause joy, interest;
• notice how he introduces you to his friends. If he introduces himself as an "acquaintance" or "girlfriend", judge for yourself what this means. But a loving man is unlikely to call his woman "girlfriend";
• if, after a night spent together with him, he worries that there are no “evidence” of your stay in the house, this should also alert;
• if your passionate partner becomes colder than an iceberg after sex, this is serious evidence of his indifference. loving man pays attention to his partner all the time, she can count on hugs, kisses and sweet conversations;
• apart from having sex, you no longer spend leisure time together. Here is a picture of a clear consumer attitude for the sake of the bed;
• all the compliments that were heard from him during the period of acquaintance had a clear sexual connotation. Praise went to either your bust, your legs or other parts of the body, but not the person.

Video to help - why a man does not want a serious relationship:

If the relationship is far from ideal, either you allow the man too much, or simply “the wrong one” is nearby. Therefore, look for a lover, and do not be content with little.