Has anyone had a midlife crisis? How to survive a midlife crisis: advice from a psychologist. How long does a midlife crisis last?

A midlife crisis always creeps up unexpectedly. You turn 30 or 35 and suddenly depression appears on the horizon. You want change, because it seems that life is almost over and old age is just around the corner. How to get rid of these obsessive thoughts? Read below.

What is a midlife crisis?

This is a condition that appears in men and women in the middle of their life path. Midlife crisis marks new round of your life. Usually it comes along with the next birthday. A person involuntarily thinks about his age, then looks at himself in the mirror and suddenly realizes that his appearance is slowly beginning to change. Wrinkles appear, your figure becomes sagging, and it seems that nothing good awaits you in life. What is a midlife crisis? approaching death. A person understands that most of his goals and plans have not become reality, and the allotted time may not be enough to fulfill his dream. Some people may realize that they live with an unloved person, go to a boring job and have never traveled abroad. At this turning point, a person can choose several paths. He will either begin to realize long-set goals, or he will succumb to depression and begin to engage in self-flagellation. And then, for the sake of self-affirmation, he may start buying expensive toys that he cannot afford. These could be cars, apartments or a widescreen TV. But such a thoughtless amount of loans does not help a person feel better, but only worsens the problems.

Does everyone have a crisis?

No, not all people are affected by this problem. Some may live happily until retirement and never experience what a midlife crisis is. Why do some people suffer from it and others not? People who know how to set goals and achieve what they want, those who started a family and children in time, those who know how to get along with others will be able to avoid problems. A midlife crisis affects people with low self-esteem who are accustomed to putting off life until later. Such people always think that tomorrow will come, and on this mythical day everything can be changed. Today you can relax and watch TV. There are no miracles. So you have to pay for laziness and apathy with psychological problems. If a person has achieved nothing by the middle of his life’s journey, and life spheres there is some imbalance, then problems will not take long to appear.

Symptoms

A midlife crisis is not a disease. Some people even consider it a normal part of life. But that's not true. A crisis is a state into which a person falls who does not solve accumulated psychological problems for a long time. If you settle everything on time, go to a psychotherapist or find solutions to complex problems on your own life situations, then problems will be easy to avoid. But our compatriots rarely do this. Do you know at least one person who goes to a psychotherapist? Hardly. Even if your friend signs up for such a session, he will be ashamed to tell others that he needed help.

The accumulated problems do not find a solution day after day. And any little thing can be the last straw. But still, if you replace the symptoms in time, you can avoid bringing your condition to a crisis. If you study yourself well, you can even conduct psychotherapy yourself.

What are the symptoms of a midlife crisis in women and men?

• dissatisfaction with one's appearance
• lack of entertainment,
• quarrels with your partner,
• dissatisfaction with children
• misunderstanding at work
• lack of sports in life.

If you are now about 30, then you should notice all your breakdowns. They are the ones who show your weak spots. If you quarrel with your husband every day, then think about why the quarrels happen? Perhaps you want to attract a man’s attention in this way? Or maybe you want to assert yourself? Find the real problem conflict and fight it.

Causes of the crisis

You have understood the symptoms of the problem, now you need to understand the causes. One of the most common problems among men is dissatisfaction with life. Every person wants to do what they love, achieve a position in society and have interesting circle communication. And if a person does not achieve this, he begins to become stressed. The reasons for the midlife crisis in women are the absence of family and children. Every girl dreams of big and friendly family. And if a woman has not been able to give birth before the age of 40, the chances of doing so in the future are reduced to zero. This is precisely what constitutes psychological trauma for many. At the age of 30, girls felt that they needed to focus on their career first, and family could be pushed into the background. And then it turned out that working at night doesn’t keep you warm. Men worry least about unborn children. After all, they can fertilize a woman even at 60 years old.

Another cause of a midlife crisis can be aging. Not only women, but also men experience changes in appearance. After all, they understand that their peak physical activity has already passed and now to maintain good shape, you need to put in two or even three times more effort than before.

Treatment

What is the cure for a midlife crisis and at what age does it strike a person? Each individual has his own psychology, his own complexes and principles. Therefore, the midlife crisis begins differently for everyone. For some, it can begin at 30. This is not uncommon for people who grew up without parents. Due to the lack of warmth and support in childhood, various complexes can develop that will only make themselves known to a person at a conscious age. If a person grew up in a normal family, the crisis will overtake him in the period from 35 to 40. At this time, if the person has not achieved success in all areas of life, he will begin to have problems and depression. It will seem that the world has become gray and it’s time to change something. But psychologists say that no matter how a person tries to escape from himself, this will not be possible. So if it seems to you that moving from Moscow to the Maldives will improve the situation, then this is only an illusion. You need to sort yourself out. And if you can’t do this, you need to go to a specialist.

How to survive a midlife crisis? You need to find a purpose in life. Write down your childhood desires and hobbies and renew them. No one will judge you for this. If you lack emotions, jump with a parachute or go horse riding. If your personal life is still unsettled, start going on dates. Try to find a balance between home, work, family, friends, sports, entertainment and self-development. And if you succeed, then you can consider that you have successfully overcome the crisis.

Or maybe leave the family?

The midlife crisis in men after 40 is often associated with this issue. A man thinks that another woman can make him happier. But the question you should ask yourself is: what doesn’t suit me about my wife? If a man could live peacefully with a woman for 10 years, then she was quite happy with her. Leaving the family is difficult decision. It should not be taken lightly. Especially if there are children. A man should be clear about what exactly he wants to find in a new relationship? Passion, tenderness, mutual understanding or love? You should talk to your wife first. Perhaps she misses it too. You can always leave. First you need to try to save the marriage. And if nothing can be done, then breaking up would be the best solution.

The midlife crisis for women is a little different than for men. Representatives of the fair sex are more phlegmatic, so it is quite easy for them to destroy a marriage. This decision is especially easy for ladies who have already acquired a lover. The woman thinks that new man will love her forever, that passion cannot disappear. But it should be understood that until a person changes himself, he will attract the same people with the same characters and views on the world.

Will changing your image help?

How does a midlife crisis manifest itself after 30? Symptoms in women can be as follows: they look in the mirror and see the first wrinkles, gray hair, age spots on the skin. This all makes me think about approaching old age. But no woman wants to grow old. Therefore, many people decide at this age to plastic surgery. They do a facelift, they can even change the shape of the nose or lips. It seems to them that their life is not settled because of some external shortcomings, and not because of internal complexes. What's the point of changing your hairstyle or hair color if it doesn't change your thoughts? Of course, some people find it easier to prepare themselves for the fact that a new life must begin with external changes. But remember: nothing in life will change until you change.

What to do if your husband has a midlife crisis and starts to look younger? Pay attention to it. After all, men, like women, always want to look prettier to the opposite sex. Therefore, the wife should be the first to appreciate the man’s efforts. After all, if a close woman does not do this, there will be someone on the side who can appreciate the efforts.

Take care of your health

How to treat midlife crisis in men? By the age of 35, the body begins to lose its former shape and strength. And in order not to be horrified when looking at yourself in the mirror, you need to play sports. This will help avoid many health problems. And most importantly, people who play sports think more soberly and originally. The flow of oxygen and blood to the brain helps improve cognitive performance. Sports are also a great way to meditate. In this state, it is difficult to think or engage in self-flagellation. After all, you need to focus on breathing and count your approaches to the sports equipment. After training, not a single person feels bad, at least mentally. Therefore, if you don’t know what to do or how to improve your life, you can safely go to the gym.

What to do after a midlife crisis? Do not stop your training under any circumstances. Don't think of fitness as medicine. Think of sports as an integral part of life. Then it will be easier to go to the gym.

Children are the flowers of life

Think about why you were born into this world? Right to fulfill your life mission. But you will die someday. And in order to pass on your accumulated knowledge and experience, you need to think about children. They are the ones who make life complete. Yes, you cannot make a child the meaning of your life and the center of the Universe. But it is the children who will brighten up your old age and bring a glass of water when you are no longer able to get up. Therefore, to avoid a midlife crisis, think about children at the age of 28. And if you give birth to your first child before 30, perhaps psychological problems will bypass you. You don’t have to beat yourself up and envy married couples with children.

What are the symptoms of a midlife crisis in men over 40? At this age, a man understands that children are part of his life. And if they exist, he begins to take an active part in their development. But deserve it children's attention and love can be difficult sometimes. Especially if the guys rarely see their dad. Therefore, a man may become depressed because his own children do not love him. In order not to look for an answer to the question of how to earn the sympathy of a child, you should pay attention to your child from the very birth.

Prevention

In order not to think about what a man should do after a midlife crisis, he should, having felt its symptoms, immediately begin to solve the problem. What kind of prevention should be done? You should do a little exercise. Draw a circle and divide it into those areas of life that seem important to you. It could be family, work, self-development, friends, love, sports, etc. Now put a dot in each sector. It should be closer to the middle, the less attention you pay to this area. Then connect the dots. Don't worry if you end up with a tarantula and not a circle. Your task is to put your life in order. If you are not taking care of your health, sign up for a massage or go to the pool; if you are not paying attention to your family, stop working in the evenings. Do this exercise every week and you will always know which area of ​​your life needs more attention.

To always feel confident, you need to work with your self-esteem. Many people manage to live their whole lives without experiencing any pleasure from life itself. It is clear that in such a situation a midlife crisis will not take long to occur. If a person spends at least every weekend interesting, goes on trips, gets together with friends, gets out into the forest, then he will not have the impression that life is passing by. But if a person spends his free evenings and all his weekends watching TV, then it will not be difficult to understand what threatens this person at the age of 30 along with obesity.

Learn to do everything in advance. This will help you a lot in life. If you're not constantly stressed out because you're doing a last-minute project, you'll have time to spend alone with your thoughts. Do you find this difficult? Yes, organizing your life can sometimes be difficult. But when you are in control of everything that happens, calmly making some adjustments that will always appear, it will be easier to keep track of what is happening around you. This way, it will be easy to develop the habit of analysis. And this skill will help you sort out all your problems in a proven way.

When the phrase “adolescence” is mentioned, the vast majority of people associate it with adolescence. Moreover, the associations that arise are not the most rosy. As a rule, this period of life is associated with big amount difficulties related both to the teenager himself and to the people around him, and first of all his parents. However, the expression “transitional age” can be applied to another period – middle age. In this case, it will be called a midlife crisis, which affects both men and women. For some, it proceeds almost unnoticed, while for others, on the contrary, it is very difficult. At this moment, a person is forced to solve many problems, only this time his parents will not come to his aid, primarily because adults prefer to cope with their difficulties on their own.

What is a midlife crisis

First of all, it should be emphasized that a midlife crisis is not a whim, not a temporary blues, and not a manifestation bad character. This is a combination of psycho-emotional and physiological states, based on objective changes in a person’s life. For women, this period usually occurs between 35 and 40 years. In some cases, a crisis may occur earlier or, conversely, later than the statistical average.

In order to overcome this period of time correctly and as less painfully as possible, it is necessary to treat it as a teenage transition period that comes and goes for everyone. The relationship between psychological and physiological changes in middle-aged women is expressed in the following symptoms:

• Weakness appears, indifference to what is happening, reluctance to do anything, which can be mistaken for laziness. A woman has an irresistible desire to be in peace and quiet. Even when she is not tired, she tends to lie down, watch a movie or read. She doesn't want to visit or even just take a walk. Her former hobbies do not attract her as much as before. She strives for maximum passive relaxation. Moreover, deep down in her soul she experiences some kind of melancholy, even if she manages to secure such a pastime for herself.
• Quite often during this period, a woman experiences depression. It seems to her that life is already half over, only sunset and early old age lie ahead. It may even feel like your life has been lived in vain. The thought that all the best is behind us is filled with despair. There is no desire, no strength, no sense to do anything, plan, fight. A woman has a feeling that she is beyond life.
• Grown-up children, whose lives, on the contrary, are in full swing, further exacerbate this feeling of loneliness and meaninglessness. Now they don’t seem to need maternal care or are even burdened by it. Frequent changes in a woman’s mood complicate relationships with children and people around her in general. She gets the feeling that no one needs her, that others live their own lives (much fuller than hers, as it seems to her), that if she disappears, those around her will not immediately notice her absence. The woman begins to feel sorry for herself. If there are no children at all, then despair, loneliness and the feeling of the meaninglessness of one’s existence are felt even more acutely.
• Relationships with your husband during this period can become very difficult. Depression, weakness, reluctance to do anything, dissatisfaction with one’s appearance - all this leads to additional conflicts. If a man does not show sufficient understanding and tact, mistaking the midlife crisis for female whims, then the likelihood of a breakup will increase. We should also not forget that a male crisis can coincide in time with a female one, and this is an even more dangerous situation.
• During this period, a woman begins to experience anxiety from external transformations. No matter how hard she tries or takes care of herself, time takes its toll. Signs of impending decline and loss of external beauty can lead to despair. A woman accustomed to signs of attention from the opposite sex suffers from the fact that now men often pass by her without even looking. She begins to feel unattractive, ugly, old. For this reason, sometimes women begin to behave differently in public. They slouch, lower their gaze, stop smiling, look uncertain, even haunted.
• The fading of beauty hurts a woman so much that she begins to make desperate attempts to increase her attractiveness. In some cases, this is limited to a change in hairstyle, hair color, new diet or additional cosmetic procedures. In more complex cases, a woman may act on the verge of eccentricity. A radical change in image, ridiculous clothing items suitable only for teenagers, flashy makeup, etc. And attraction male attention at any cost. During this period, a woman may change sexual partners frequently, especially if the situation is conducive to this.
• At this point, hormonal imbalances that occur in the body of every woman at a certain age may begin to appear. Especially if she does not have regular sexual intercourse. Against the backdrop of these disruptions, well-being worsens, external beauty suffers even more, and mood changes especially often. Deep depressive states can be replaced by a sharp rise in mood, a thirst for activity, and unmotivated fun. However, this inspiration, as a rule, is extremely short-lived, again giving way to despondency and sadness. Such changes usually affect not only the woman herself, but primarily her family members.
• Another sign of a midlife crisis is self-digging, and often self-eating. A woman begins to rethink her life, remember mistakes and missed opportunities. At such moments, it seems to her that her whole life has not been lived at all as it should be. That if at one time she had chosen another job/man/social circle, then everything would have been just wonderful, but her life is one big mistake. A feeling of envy of other women arises, as well as irritation with an unsuspecting husband. And even the successes and happy moments that emerge in her memory make her sad, because they are a thing of the past and will never return.

Even if a woman understands that her condition is nothing more than a midlife crisis, it can be difficult for her to cope with it. The situation is much more complicated with those who believe that all the sensations described above are completely objective, moreover, they are based on the actions of very real culprits (usually close relatives and friends). Often at this moment, in the depths of the soul, resentment towards parents, anger at the husband and annoyance at oneself arises.

The most mature decision in this case is a visit to a psychologist. After all, it is not surprising that specialists work with teenagers during adolescence. In addition, they are helped by parents, teachers, etc. Why, under such circumstances, does an adult prefer to remain completely alone? Of course, you can survive this period on your own, suppressing various negative impulses and thoughts through willpower. But perhaps these problems can be dealt with more easily if you entrust them to a professional.

In this case, each person makes the choice himself. If a woman feels that her crisis does not entail concrete (tangible) changes for the worse, then perhaps there really is no reason to worry. The following reasons may give rise to anxiety and contact a psychologist:

• frequent conflicts at work and at home interfere with life;
• there is an irresistible desire to divorce your husband;
• quarrels with children on the verge of breaking off relations;
• thoughts of suicide appear;
• there was an intention to quit your job despite the fact that the alternative to it is either dubious or absent;
• you are seriously thinking about packing your suitcase and leaving to live somewhere else forever.

Even if you prefer to cope with your problems without outside help, despite the presence of objectively serious difficulties, try, at least, not to do things that radically change your life. And remind yourself often that this unpleasant period will definitely end. It is better to live it with all the depth of understanding, even to love it, since it is an integral part of life, and, if possible, even spend it productively.

How to behave at this time

At in the right mood and competent actions, the midlife crisis will pass without any special complications. It’s good if you manage to enlist the support of your husband, in which case you may not feel half of the unpleasant symptoms at all. And even if you can’t count on anyone’s support, don’t despair, take everything into your own hands.

Firstly, do not be shy about your desires, and sometimes even indulge them if it does not harm you. For example, when attacked by laziness, allow yourself to be idle. Lie on the couch, watch your favorite movies, give up your household chores for a while - they will never end anyway. Try to enjoy it, because you have already done enough for your family and those around you, you can finally waste your time.

Secondly, try to find an activity that will be pleasant on the one hand and useful on the other. Even a small goal will lift your spirits when achieved. For example, it's never too late to start learning to sew or play the guitar. If you don’t want to do even this, devote free time self care. Find new body and facial skin care products, take relaxing baths and other pleasant treatments. This will not only bring pleasure, but will also have a positive effect on your appearance, which is very important especially during this period.

If you have the opportunity to have a child, this will be the most effective remedy against a midlife crisis. Therefore, if such an opportunity exists, be sure to take advantage of it. Your whole life will change dramatically. And the reason is not only emotional, but also physiological changes. In fact, with the onset of pregnancy, a woman gains a second youth. This state brings back the time when a woman is young and full of plans for the future. In addition, a meaning appears in life, in comparison with which any crisis is simply a trifle not worthy of attention.

The worries that accompany the birth of a child will leave no room for other worries. In addition, the birth of a baby can be a salvation for the husband, who is also affected by age-related emotional changes. Overnight you will turn from mature spouses into young parents. You will begin to be surrounded by people with similar interests and concerns, and raising a child will become the meaning of your coexistence.

If you don’t have the opportunity to give birth to a child, then you shouldn’t give up in this case either. Pay attention to your health, especially women's. If problems in this regard are eliminated, it will increase your confidence and improve your mood. Don't let yourself get complacent when it comes to appearance. Don't leave home without makeup and hair. Even at home, try to look well-groomed and beautiful. This will also add confidence. Thanks to this, you will be able to get rid of the desire to lower your eyes and slouch. When a woman looks perfect, carries herself proudly, smiles and likes herself, she attracts the attention of others, no matter how old she is.

And finally, remember that 35–40 years for a woman is still quite a young and wonderful age. At 20, you can look young, at 25, beautiful, and at 40, truly luxurious. Every age has its own charm. And how beautiful your current one is will become clear many years later. Therefore, it is better not to put off realizing this until later, but to enjoy this beautiful times right now. And you shouldn’t remember the past too often, the time for that will come. Now we need to live in the future, because there is so much ahead happy days!

- Middle age crisis
- Midlife turning point for men
— Disadvantage of middle age in women
— Main causes of SWR
— Symptoms of crisis
— How to overcome a midlife crisis for a woman
How can I help my husband overcome his midlife crisis?
— How to save a marriage during crises among spouses?
- Conclusion

Middle age crisis - long-term emotional condition(), associated with a reassessment of one’s experience in middle age, when many of the opportunities that a person dreamed of in childhood and adolescence have already been irretrievably lost (or seem to be lost), and the onset of one’s own old age is assessed as an event with a very real deadline (and not “ someday in the future").

Midlife crisis is a term that characterizes a difficult emotional and psychological period of life for both men and women. During this period, a person begins to rethink the life he has lived, draw conclusions, and most often this happens with a very negative connotation, accompanied by depression, opposition to everything, and many other, and not even previously inherent, actions. Because of this, this period is called a crisis, since a person experiences a deep personal crisis.

In men and women, the midlife crisis most often manifests itself at 35-45 years old - this is, as a rule, but, nevertheless, this period can occur at 50 years old, because everyone human body purely individual. Based medical statistics, women are exposed to a midlife crisis earlier, they experience it somewhere around 35 years old, when men to a greater extent are closer to 40. That is why this crisis is a midlife crisis, since it occurs in middle age, at approximately 40 years old.

As for the duration of the midlife crisis, again, for each person this period has its own duration. For some, this period can last from several months to a year, and for others even a whole decade. Everything will depend not only on the individual characteristics of the person, but also on his past, position in society, career, family atmosphere, support, etc.

Midlife turning point for men

For men, SWR is usually associated with reaching a certain ceiling in their career (or, conversely, with the understanding that the desired peaks will never be achieved). The result is apathy, depression, lack of motivation. A healthy way out of a crisis is setting new goals and striving for new meanings.

In a woman, SWR is usually associated with hormonal changes and the understanding that very soon she will no longer be able to produce offspring, for another couple of years - that’s all.

It is at this age that women desperately want to have a child (or another child) and are willing to pay almost any price for it.

The direction of a woman's crisis may be somewhat different than that of men. Many women at this time are characterized by a desire for creativity, which has magical variability.

Creative thirst can also be expressed as:

People who have a difficult time during this period may experience:

- dissatisfaction with life, with own style, despite the fact that all their lives they were satisfied and happy with everything;

- boredom, tiredness from everything and everyone;

- resentment and doubts about whether they are there, whether they are with him, bitterness from the past marriage;

- wish new love or communications;

— understanding the need for change;

- feeling uneasy about yourself, work and life;

- inability to make specific decisions.

The causes of a midlife crisis can be caused not only by a person’s internal experiences, but also by external factors. For example, a person may experience stress, which increases emotional sensations, or a problem from distant childhood that was previously unknown may come to the surface.

There are some other causes of a midlife crisis due to external factors, for example, a very serious one is debt. If a person has a lot of loans hanging on him, and in our time this is very important, but there is no way to pay off, then it is very easy to fall into prolonged depression. And it happens that only a specialist can get you out of this difficult state. Seek help, otherwise solving the problem will be very painful for both you and your family.

Also external cause midlife crisis may be a loss close relative, sometimes a person is not able to cope with such grief. If close person was a support, then there may be a loss of meaning in life and, as a result, severe stress.

There are people who try to avoid conflict in any relationship, constantly worrying about low self-esteem, keeping their distance from people. As a result, this situation, one way or another, leads them to a very serious crisis. And because such people cannot afford to ask for help, the crisis becomes even deeper and more serious. Usually they don’t even try to look for solutions, but try to avoid them. It is at this age that people often begin to get divorced.

In general, it does not matter what causes of a midlife crisis appear in a person, external or internal, but it happens that a person, having gone through this period, regrets the decisions made.

Symptoms of the crisis

- Depression.
- Self-pity.
- Devastation.
- Feeling trapped, trapped in a career or marriage.
- Feeling that life is unfair.
- External manifestations.
- Refusal to achieve what has been achieved, despite positive assessment achievements of others.
— Loss of interest in many previously significant aspects of life. That is, in many ways.
— Change in the circle of reference persons: the opinions of random people may become more significant.
— Change in value guidelines.
- More free, eccentric behavior.

How to overcome a midlife crisis for a woman

First of all, you must understand that you have entered a period of midlife crisis; this can be determined by personal observations, based on the signs of this period described above.

It is very important that you do not withdraw into yourself and do not move away from your family, and most importantly, from your other half. Yes, at this time it is sometimes even useful to be alone with yourself: to think, reason, draw some conclusions, but this should not go too far.

If you start to quarrel with your husband often, then maybe you should sit down with him in a quiet environment and discuss the situation.

It is equally important to draw the right conclusions from your career. If you have a stable and confident income, you work in good location and with a good team, and also enjoy authority - then this is already considered an achievement.

Often, a midlife crisis in women is accompanied not only by a rethinking of their career achievements, but also of their marriage. This problem needs to be solved together with your husband, and not accumulate it all in yourself and blame him for being this and that.

If you are experiencing a midlife crisis, try to take a vacation and just relax from everything. can be found on the Internet.

How to help your husband overcome his midlife crisis?

Give your husband time to be alone with his thoughts. At the same time, “don’t miss him,” and don’t let him move away from you both physically and mentally. Try to spend more time both as a family and just the two of you.

Support your husband in all his affairs, show very sensitive care, affection and tenderness during this period, but so that it is not too intrusive. Become an integral part of his life.

Become a psychologist for him, let him talk to you: what worries him, what he dreamed and is dreaming about, what he would like to change both in his and in yours family life. If at the same time he says something that will be unpleasant for you, there is no need to show a negative reaction - he was sincere with you and opened his soul to you, since you are for him dear person. Help him understand himself by pointing him in the right direction.

How to save a marriage during midlife crises among spouses?

If your marriage has lost its former inspiration or you want to survive a midlife crisis while maintaining your family, then talk to your husband. Create a relaxing, romantic environment for this and talk about your relationship. Remember how you met, how you dated and, of course, your wedding. Talk about your family, moving the conversation smoothly to what you like about your relationship and what you don't - and would like to change. But here it is very important that this conversation is with with an open soul, and did not become the subject of a quarrel. After such a conversation, try to summarize your mutual desires and find overall plan their implementation.

Add something new to your relationship. Call each other several times throughout the day or exchange SMS messages.

Conclusion

Midlife crisis is another scourge modern society, which today has taken huge size. Many people do not realize the full depth of such a problem, and do not know how to survive this difficult period with the least losses.

According to statistics, most people on our planet face similar problem, which can lead to quite complex consequences. That is why this article describes in detail all the causes and consequences of such a crisis and how to overcome it while saving your family.

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

According to statistics, men between 35 and 45 years old are going through the most difficult stage in their lives. It is during this period of time that divorces occur. Men are worried severe depression associated with hormonal and physiological changes. Moreover, at this age representatives of the stronger sex instill addiction to alcoholism or worse than that, commit suicide.

This period is called a midlife crisis, during which men rethink life, come to logical conclusions and plunge into self-knowledge. To survive this time safely, you need to understand what symptoms appear and know the cause of their occurrence.

When do men have a midlife crisis?

Midlife crisis in men is menopause. Although it is commonly believed that only women suffer from this, this is actually not the case.

Climax is change hormonal levels a person, regardless of his gender. Over time, sex hormones leave the body, which leads to changes in human physiology. Therefore, menopause happens to all people.

Basically, the period when a midlife crisis begins is close to forty years. The first changes that a man begins to notice is the absence sexual desire. This does not mean that representatives of the stronger sex have developed impotence, just that sexual desire arises much less frequently than before.

Important! The fact that passion subsides in men over time is quite normal, since in youth, men’s hormones are much more active.

Due to physiological changes that reduce attraction to women, men begin to look for interesting activities. You can often see them enjoying fishing, going hunting, or spending hours disassembling a car.

However, some people do not understand why such changes are happening to them. They are trying to figure out what the problem is and the first people to come to their attention are the wives. Since women in their forties become fatter, have wrinkles and their bodies become less sexy, men think that the problem is with their spouse. That is why husbands begin to go outside in order to arouse feelings in themselves that have been muted. However, over time, they return to their wives.

Interesting! A man's successful experience of a crisis depends on his social circle, the situation in the home and his social status.

Symptoms and signs

A midlife crisis for men 30 years of age or older is the most difficult emotional period in their lives. At this age, their priorities change, they reconsider their life values and search for meaning in life. In other words, a person is trying to fully satisfy not physical or sexual needs, but emotional ones.

Interesting! Many men at this age have achieved unprecedented heights or received Nobel Prizes.

Most importantly, it is important to know the main symptoms that are characteristic of this age. These include:

• Deep depression. The very first sign of menopause is depression, which is accompanied by changes in mood and a deterioration in a person’s emotional state. In this regard, men may not be able to work and are constantly dissatisfied with something. Moreover, men may have:

1. Poor appetite
2. Severe weight loss
3. Lethargy and fatigue
4. Disturbing sleep
5. Loss of interest in vital issues.

• Rethinking life. Men are trying to radically change their lives, and therefore the first thing they resort to is changing jobs. Sometimes it's good changes, but it happens that a person looks at his family differently and becomes very fascinated with it.
• A strong desire to change something. The stronger sex makes unplanned purchases or carries out renovations in the house. He wants to change something globally, his environment, lifestyle, manner of communication, friends, etc. It is very important that the wives who are nearby provide their assistance correctly. They need to try to support their husband in everything and try to look after their appearance. Treat your husband like a child going through adolescence. If you constantly sort things out and quarrel, this will not lead to anything good.
• Also, the crisis manifests itself in doubt about the choice of marriage partner. It happens that spouses live for many years without knowing grief, and at one fine moment, the husband says that he made a mistake in his youth and wants to correct it while there is time. It is very important for wives to understand that such statements are associated with a severe hormonal crisis and therefore do not take serious action. It's just a normal reaction of a man to his physiological changes. It is difficult for them to admit that it is not the wife who has changed, but he has become different.
• A surge of negative emotions. At a time of global change, men conduct deep introspection. They analyze what they have achieved in their lives and who is to blame for not getting what they wanted. In connection with such reasoning, husbands can be provocateurs in scandals or capable of throwing out accumulated negative emotions.

All of these symptoms may occur for a long time, so wives need to be patient.

Doctors cannot say exactly how long a midlife crisis lasts. It occurs differently for each person. Some people experience this period for about a year, while others live with it for decades.. Therefore, family members should be sympathetic to the heads of the family when they undergo a change in their body.

Important! The duration of the crisis also depends on how much teenage hormones remain in the man’s body.

What to do, how to survive?

Many people think that it is at the age of 40 that a crisis begins for all men. However, no one can know exactly what time it will start. It all depends on the individuality of the human body. But how to survive this time and stay in the family? You need to remember a few rules:

1. Don't mourn past life and don't suffer from nostalgia. If you don't like your life, add positive colors to it and try to change something. Do any interesting work or take up some hobby. Inaction only makes depression worse.
2. Change jobs and get busy new goal . Renovate your home and change its interior. If everything suits you, earn money for a trip to another country and, together with your family, go for new sensations or emotions. Someone wants to move to another country and teaches for this foreign language, thanks to which he gradually achieves his goal. Learn to love life and continue to achieve everything, don’t give up and don’t be content with what you have. Learn to do something new for you and thanks to this, your self-esteem will increase.
3. Train yourself to be optimistic. Fight your thoughts by taking them prisoner. Do not allow negative thinking to develop and never think about death. Start playing sports and overcome your bad habits.
4. Focus only on the good, praise yourself for the successes you have achieved and don’t stop there. A positive attitude will help you survive the crisis normally, without bad consequences.
5. Don't think that your life is over and it's over. Do not feel sorry for yourself and go towards your goal, many people achieved success only by the age of 50, and you are no exception. Desire, does wonders.
6. Apperciate things which you have. People are used to noticing what they don't have. However, think about the fact that you have health, family, work, relatives, friends and, finally, life. Many people only dream about this, but you already have it. Happy is not the one who has everything, but the one who knows how to appreciate what he has. It’s not for nothing that they say that we don’t keep what we have, but when we lose it we cry.
7. Take care of your health and don't overwork yourself. A balanced lifestyle will help you survive menopause safely.

In order for a midlife crisis to go well, men need to pull themselves together and control their feelings, emotions and behavior. Apply all these tips and maybe your life will become even better.

Is the crisis a problem or an impetus for great things?

Hormonal changes cause different reactions in every man. Some people leave their families and destroy everything they have acquired, while others achieve new goals and conquer Everest. It all depends on mental state man and his willpower. Everything is in our hands and only we ourselves decide how our lives will turn out.

It is important for relatives and wives not to abandon such men, but to be their support and support in everything. A wise wife contributes to the development and prosperity of the family, but a stupid woman destroys it with her own hands.

A crisis can occur not only in the economy or in life, but also in connection with age. When we talk about age, we often think of a midlife crisis. However, in men and women it can occur at any time. We can call adolescence and even the age of 3 years a crisis, when a person begins to gradually separate from his mother.

Throughout life, does a person periodically enter periods of crisis? What it is? What's so special about a midlife crisis? The online magazine site will tell you everything, which in this article focuses on one of the crises that has been occurring for about 40 years.

What is a midlife crisis?

What is commonly called (or the crisis of forty-year-olds)? This is a long-term emotional state that occurs in the middle of life and is associated with a reassessment of values, experience and the direction of one’s existence. Typically, this crisis occurs between the ages of 35 and 55, when a person begins to feel nostalgic about the good past, regret missed opportunities, reevaluate the meaning of his life, give up unnecessary things and put effort only into what is important, as well as awareness of the inevitably approaching old age, to which you should have time to enjoy life.

What is a crisis anyway? A crisis is a time of change. However, not only must change the world, but also the person who lives in it. The problem for many is that during a crisis they complain, whine, and try to get their old life back. But those who do not struggle with changing circumstances become successful, but change themselves to suit these circumstances, and change themselves in such a way as to be able to live successfully, richly, happily, etc. in new conditions.

Once upon a time as a child, you adapted to the world into which you were born. Whether the world was liked or not, no one cared. You were forced to look for ways that you would use to achieve the benefits that you need. You learned to communicate with different people, decided for yourself how to react and act in certain situations, determined how you would live in accordance with the opportunities that life gives you.

There are such concepts as permanence and stability. Many people talk about how they strive for consistency and stability, and fall into the trap. The trap of constancy and stability is that a person ceases to be flexible, adaptable and changing. If the world were static and did not change, then a person would only adapt in childhood, and then live the rest of the time as he was used to. But the world changes periodically or constantly. Successful people become those who understand the need to change themselves depending on the conditions and goals that are achieved in new circumstances.

How to survive a crisis? Realize that you do not live in a static world. If not the heads of state, then natural disasters, if not your friends and neighbors, then you yourself will create a crisis - a period when you will have to radically change something in your way of life. Even such a happy moment as the birth of a child creates a crisis for parents. Now mom and dad must change their lives forever, adapting themselves to the needs of the child. It’s hard for those who were unable to transform their lives, change old habits for new ones and accept the fact of the existence of a new person in their life who will remain forever.

A crisis is a natural process. He, of course, can go towards regression rather than progress. But the point is different: in order to live happily, calmly and prosperously in the new conditions created, you need to change yourself - your views, habits, manners, rules and beliefs, even fears and doubts. Not everything will have to be changed, but only that part that will no longer help in the new conditions.

You once adapted to this world, no matter how good or bad it was. There were transitional moments when you created crises for yourself and changed your lifestyle (for example, adolescence or transition into adult life). Of course, when a crisis is created by external forces and not by you (for example, they broke up with you, you were fired, or there was a crisis in the country), it is difficult to change. But this is not the main thing. If you want to live prosperously, despite the new circumstances that have arisen in your life, you must change yourself, and not whine, complain or be indignant. You need to change your views, habits and rules, which now will not help you live in new circumstances. There is no need to be stable here. A person must be flexible in his mind and ready for change in order to change throughout his life.

Obviously, a crisis is a temporary period that can be survived if you learn to live in a new way. And here the problem arises: which new life continue to live? This is the question that arises in midlife. If in adolescence people usually know what they want in the future, then in mid-life this question remains open. The man and woman don’t know what they want, so they return their thoughts to their past to answer this question.

The milestone when a person reaches his 40th birthday is marked by a midlife crisis. A person already has everything that he could achieve: family, money, career, property, etc. Some people think that this age is the very period when a person begins to grow old. It's a delusion. A person grows old only when he begins to consider himself old and unable to achieve anything else in his life. The midlife crisis is marked by very different changes.

U different people this period begins in different time. Someone at 35 years old may realize that his life is going in the wrong direction, someone at 45 begins to live in a new way. 40 years is the arithmetic average, plus or minus 5 years. It is during this period that a person suddenly begins to reconsider his existing life in order to understand whether he is living happily or not.

A midlife crisis is marked by a change of job where you have worked for a long time, the destruction of a family that has existed for many years, moving to other cities, etc. What pushes such drastic changes? It's about not about all people. You may notice that people go through a personal crisis, but after it they continue to live normal life. There is nothing surprising. Having considered the essence of this period, you can understand why a person performs certain actions.

A midlife crisis is a period when a person begins to reconsider his life. Does he like the way he lives? Are you happy with the life you live? Is everything okay with him? Is he happy with himself and the way his life is organized? This is the stage when a person finally allows himself to live happily, and not as is customary. In society, it is customary to start a family, work officially, earn money, work around the house, etc. Does he want to continue living like this or does his happiness lie in something else?

This period is marked by the fact that all the goals that an exemplary citizen of his country should embody have been achieved, but the question arises: is this what he wanted to have in his life in order to be happy? “What makes me happy?” A person finally stops living as he should and starts living the life that makes him happy.

If you don’t like the job or bring in little income, then the person begins to change it. If there were plans to create a business, it is during this period that a person allows himself to achieve what he wants. If the family was unwanted, the second spouse is an unloved partner, then the person decides to leave. He may not abandon his children, but he will Family status he stops. Finally, those partners are found who are truly interesting and attractive. He begins to make friends with precisely those people who evoke friendly feelings in him.

A midlife crisis can be called a “transitional” stage, when a person begins to live for his own pleasure. He already has the skills, experience and knowledge to intelligently plan his future life and predict the results of all his decisions and actions. At this age there is no fear. A person is already familiar with the world around him and knows how to behave in order to achieve what he wants.

Changes during this period do not occur for only two reasons:

1. A person gets happiness from what he already has. In this case, there is no need to change anything.
2. A person is ready to live and put up with what he has, but is not satisfied with it. Nobody canceled laziness and unwillingness to change. The individual continues to live only because he is ready to put up with the lack of happiness.

Symptoms of a midlife crisis

Psychologists are not so optimistic about the issue of midlife crisis. For some people, during this period, many things collapse, their personality becomes upset, and the meaning of life is lost. Externally, symptoms manifest themselves in different ways, depending on how a person experiences this period.

1. Refusal of achievements, even if they are positive and society approves of them.
2. Feeling trapped in a career or marriage, a sense of injustice.
3. Change significant people and friends.
4. Feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness of life.
5. Self-pity, emptiness, depression.
6. Changing values.
7. Loss of interest in other activities, depression.
8. Eccentricity.

Why does a midlife crisis occur?

Why does a midlife crisis occur? K. Pack identified the following factors:

• Changing the importance of intimate priorities to social ones.
• The need to change activities from physical to mental, which is associated with deteriorating health.
• Separation of interests related to family and work.
• The need for the formation of emotionality, which has significantly decreased over the course of marriage and the loss of friends.
• Reorientation from personal interests to public ones.
• Focusing on approaching old age and death, which is inevitable.

A person is on the border between childhood, youth and approaching old age. He understands that he spent his healthy and young years following other people’s instructions and following social principles. The family has already been created, the ceiling has been reached at work, the house has been built, the children have been raised.

The midlife crisis begins when a person has fulfilled all his obligations to society. In other words, he has already achieved everything he could, and now he is faced with the realization that he did nothing for himself. Social goals have been achieved, personal desires have not been realized, you can’t jump above your head, and there is little time left to finally live for yourself.

The emergence of free time that a person does not know what he is doing is a factor in the emergence of a crisis in mid-life.

Midlife crisis in men

Men are more susceptible to midlife crisis. During this period, they may leave a well-paid job, leave their wives and find mistresses (often much younger than themselves), and become depressed.

The crisis in men in mid-life is associated with dissatisfaction. Man most throughout his life he fulfilled his duty, fulfilled the obligations assigned to him, and was constantly indebted to someone. Now the period came when he realized that he lived not for his own joy, but for the benefit of other people. The man realizes the presence of lost opportunities and unfulfilled desires.

How can a man survive a midlife crisis?

1. Realize and get used to the decrease in physical and psychological activity. The body ages, but this does not mean that a person should give up on himself. A man simply has to change his lifestyle in accordance with the changes that occur in his body.
2. Stop chasing social causes. Start living for your own pleasure. However, this does not imply abandoning family, leaving work and everything that a person has achieved. Everything valuable and achieved should be preserved by simply changing the direction of your movement. Stop running, just start moving towards what is interesting and important.

The main thing that a man should not allow is the collapse of his family, career and other achievements that were previously important to him. During a crisis, you might think that these elements are unimportant. In fact, family, work, devoted friends, achieved successes are the pillars that will support a man when he looks for his new way during a midlife crisis.

Midlife crisis in women

Women are also susceptible to a midlife crisis, which usually occurs after 35 years. It is distinguished by symptoms:

• Fading love feelings to my husband.
• Lack of understanding of the meaning of your life.
• Mental distance from children.
• Dissatisfaction with the work environment.
• Uncertainty and anxiety.
• Regret about unfulfilled desires.
• The thought that best years passed, but the future does not exist.
• A feeling of irretrievably lost time.
• Dissatisfaction with your appearance.
• Devastation after affairs and flirtations.
• Dissatisfaction with the years lived.
• Avoiding parties, friends.

Psychologists recommend not focusing your attention on melancholy and regrets. Stop thinking about what happened. Better focus your energy on what you would like to have in the future. Now you are at a stage where you want change. You can find new hobbies, open your own business, change your appearance, make friends with other people, etc.

If you want change, then you should implement it. To avoid depression, you simply should not yearn for the past.

Bottom line, or What kind of life do you want to live next?

When a crisis occurs, a person begins to look for answers to the questions that have arisen, or rather, a way through which he will get rid of his current problems. This is a kind of desire to change or change something around you, to start living differently, to get rid of what causes pain and suffering.

But which path to choose? Act as you would if you were single. There is no one nearby, no one tells you how to live, and there is no one to help either. You only have you and the material things that you have today. What else do you want to achieve? What do you want to develop in yourself? How exactly do you want to live?

A crisis is a moment of understanding what oppresses you and prevents you from living happily. And at least on a subconscious level, every person understands that changes are needed. But what will these changes be? It depends on what you see in your future and how you plan to proceed next? It can be said that your future now depends on what goals you have with you. today you will begin to achieve. And thereby you will not only get rid of the oppressive past, but also shape the future you will live by.

There is only you and no one else. Think for yourself, rely only on yourself, act independently. What do you choose when left alone with the whole world? How do you see yourself? What kind of life do you want to live next?